I swear, I can explain! Those of you in a similar situation will understand the demanding, irritable, and cruel place that is high school. It is not only taking away your soul but robbing precious hours of sleep from you, making you fall asleep on any available surface there is, including a keyboard. So if something must be blamed for meanly taking forever to update after a rather built-up bit, blame the institution of education in general, not me, its sad and sleepy victim.

Disclaimer: I asked a magic eight ball if owned Twilight and it said, "You wish, loser." Guess it's right there.

Chapter Five:
In Which Edward Gets His Fondest Wish

It was the little things, the sound of a thunderstorm, even the simple color of green, which pulled at Bella's heart day in and day out. With those seemingly normal and plain things, the memories came; some of how his smooth skin felt underneath her fingers, others she didn't even realize she had, like a glance out the window that was a clear shot of him standing in the break of the waves, staring off in the distance with a soft and wondering expression on his treasured face. But they always brought pain, a thing that she no longer asked herself whether it was gone or not, but how much worse it was than the day before.

She'd be lying if she said she wanted the pain to stop, though. In true masochistic fashion, she wanted to keep feeling the tides of remorse and sadness drowning her; it kept her closer to Edward, it its own, strange way. That, at least, was her one and only comfort.

"Excuse me, Miss?" a kind voice said behind Bella. "I don't mean to be rude, but are you Isabella Swan?"

Bella turned away from a wall full of laundry detergent at the local grocery store to a see a short woman behind her, ranging no more than five feet tall and covered in wrinkles. She knew that it was a small town (synonymous with "tiny scrap of land where privacy is unheard of" in her book) but she had moved in only two days ago. "Wow," she said, faking a smile and trying her best to be at least somewhat friendly, "word spreads fast, doesn't it?"

The woman chuckled and patted Bella's shoulder, choosing not to comment on how cold she was. "It sure does, sweetheart. Tell me, how do you like Forks so far?"

"It's nice," was all Bella could come up with before remembering her cover story. "Just as lovely as my mother had said it was." The idea, coming back as her own daughter, had seemed cliché and flimsy, but she was short on time and hadn't thought the move through thoroughly.

Looking like this was the opening she had been waiting for, the woman dived right in. "Oh, I remember your mother as if she lived her just yesterday. You look like twins, you know, not to mention you two having the same name. Did she ever tell you about me? My name is Susan Perry; we'd sometimes have a nice chat when she worked in the bookstore."

With the name came a crystal clear picture of what she looked like twenty-three years ago; her gray hair had been a light blond and she was considerably less…shrunken. By "nice chat" she must have meant "awkward inquisition" that went along the same lines as their current conversation. It seems that for Susan, old habits died hard. But the look of perfect pleasantness on her face made Bella say, "Yes, she did, actually. She said you were the first person to welcome her into the neighborhood."

The little lie caused Susan's smile to widen and she asked, "How is she doing?"

"She passed away a few months ago." This was a brilliant thing to say on Bella's side because that would make even the most talkative of questioners (i.e. Susan Perry) clam up in the uncomfortable silence that inevitably follows such a blunt statement.

True to form, Susan mumbled, "I'm sorry to hear that… Well, I must really get going… I still have to start dinner for Freddie. So…I suppose I'll…see you around, Isabella." She turned tail and hurried over to the frozen foods aisle before disappearing out of sight. The rest of Bella's shopping excursion was uninterrupted and she could purchase her laundry detergent, along with a few other human items to make it less conspicuous, in whatever passed for peace in her life these days.

She drove home quickly and came to a stop at the base of her driveway, deftly navigating the car around a snowdrift and getting out with ease. With the large paper bags of groceries in her hands, she started a slow walk up to the small house hidden in the next enclosure of trees. She tilted her head back and felt the weak sun finally penetrate the overcast sky and warm her face, painting it with lustrous sparkles and vibrancy.

Here, away from enquiring faces that must be lied extensively to, Bella let the mask slip, and the seemingly happy young girl disappeared. What was left was an achingly beautiful and devastatingly vulnerable angel, treading through the snow in a thoughtful way, her eyes seeming to have too much depth, too much experience. As she turned with a curve in the path, her compact home came into view, and she could smell something in the air, not quite fitting in with the wilderness and the distinct scent of nature around her. She had expected to see a salesman or some other denizen of Forks after she turned along the walkway that revealed her front porch, but it wasn't. She dropped her bags in surprise, letting out a strangled sound that seemed to be a sob.

There was a dead man on Bella's doorstep.

Defying all logic, he smiled apprehensively, adjusting the little pack he had thrown over his shoulder. There was a long moment of silence and he just looked into her large and disbelieving eyes. One word, the only one that was important to him, escaped his lips, and he sighed, "Bella."

"Oh," Bella replied. She seemed unsteady, and if it hadn't been for that fact that she was a vampire, she would have fainted two minutes ago. In a quick movement, she took the skin from the inside of her forearm and pinched it in between two sharp nails, but he didn't disappear. Her eyes marveled at his pale and glistening skin, his topaz eyes. "I've finally gone insane."

The man, which could only be described as an apparition of some sorts, started walking to her in long, powerful strides, yet she remained firmly rooted in her spot. Her mind buzzed, she tried to convince herself that this…beautiful insanity was just a figment of her imagination. A very welcome figment. He - for she couldn't quite call him Edward; when this vision left, the hole in her heart would only grow larger if she knew that she had lost her Edward again - tilted his head to the side, his golden eyes puzzled by her reaction, and once more, in the sweetest voice she had ever heard, asked, "Bella?"

Despite the magnetic pull she felt between their bodies, Bella jerked backwards. "You," she tried to say, the word just managing to be above a whisper, "You are dead! You can't be here, right now, with me! You were shot in New York, fourteen months ago!" She rubbed her pale palms over her eyes and her body started to tremble. "This can't be," she said, more to herself than anyone else. Bella hadn't realized just how close her mind would link her to Edward when she moved nearer to his memory; yet, underneath, a voice wondered if she should give in, and enjoy the brief link to her lost love while she still could.

"No," he urged, taking her hands in his and pulling them to his non-beating heart, "not dead." He paused before adding, "Okay, I suppose I'm mostly dead, but that is a much better thing than I ever thought it could be." He allowed himself a smile as he thought over her words. She'd mourned him, and maybe, just maybe, that could mean that she actually had feelings for him.

But she just continued to look away from him, shaking her head with firm disbelief. "That's what I'd want you to say!" she cried, as if that explained everything. "Because it feels so right to have you near me again and you even feel real. I can't let my want control me like this, because the longer this goes on, the more it will hurt when you go."

She struggled, trying to break free of his grip, but he held on tight, drawing her closer to his chest and wrapping his arms around her. "I'm here Bella, really here. Yes, I was shot, but a man saved me. Now I'm like you-"

"Stop it!" yelled Bella, finally meeting his eyes with a sudden fury. "Stop telling me wonderful lies! Stop making my guilt worse! I loved you, Edward, and you just…died before I even knew it mys-" she was cut off by the man's quick movement, pulling her from his chest and, with no hesitation or second guessing, kissed her full on the mouth.

Bella couldn't help it, though every ounce of common sense in her body was against it, and she melted into the kiss. His arms were so reassuringly strong, his movements all heartfelt, and his whole being was entirely…Edward. There was no other way to describe how he made her knees feel weak or sent fireworks off in her mind. Her skeptical mind was shoved back in a faraway corner by her heart, which sung that this was Edward, right here, in her arms.

With some regret, he pulled back and looked into her eyes, the question of whether or not she believed him clear on his face. For the first real time in over a year, Bella smiled. She stroked the side of his smooth face with one hand and ran her other through his silky hair before murmuring "My Edward" and leaning in to kiss him once more.

Emotions, controlling things that they are, took over the two of them. They had been hoping and wishing and praying to hold the other in their arms for so long that simple contact was not enough. As the kiss grew more passionate, they struggled into the house and managed to shut the door. Inside, the lovers were finally all alone with the prospect of eternity together, and on the doorstep, Edward's pack and Bella's groceries lay forgotten, their owners' minds on something exceedingly more lovely and dear to them.

000

It had taken 46 seven years of going over every single traveler that had entered the city in the July of 1961. Every likely candidate was then traced through the world, all their family and close acquaintances listed. Excursions to other countries were taken with unheard of frequency, people were questioned, and records relentlessly gone over. They didn't even know her name, but they were patient.

The Volturi had plenty of time to be patient.

They took their search slowly and surely, Aro edging them along the whole way. Over the years, his enthusiasm for the girl's identity did not ebb as they had hoped, but grew with his curiosity. The girl had been resistant to the twins; God only knows what else she could do! His mind swam with this new layer of protection from mental attacks. Yes, he had Renata for any physical threat, but if he had the girl as well… anything was possible.

Aro was not a bad man, or, at least, he didn't see himself as such. His duty to his brothers and the rest of their hidden civilization was always on the forefront of his mind, and in that way he helped form a source of law and order, quietly and competently disposing of any menace to their existence. Aro wanted to believe that the girl would just be another dutiful and esteemed officer for them, but a viciously ambitious voice spoke up in his mind, looking at the broad picture of ruling absolutely. They wouldn't need to worry about rebellions or plans to overthrow them; they'd be invincible, in command with no chance of anyone even daring to contradict the Volturi.

But first they'd have to find her. Demetri, one of the few people who had met with the girl, thus remembering how she looked in his perfect memory, had tentatively reported that he was following a lead in America. He was hesitant because the last man who had thought he'd found her ended up in the lower dungeons of the Volturi castle, a location that, quite literally, ended any hope of another.

Aro sat in the throne room, alone if not for the entourage of five that stood behind him, which was as close to alone as one of the rulers of Volturi could get. He forced his mind back to that day, when Heidi had brought in a particularly large "tour group." She had looked up at him with large and expressive brown eyes, her mind already seeming to register what was going to happen. She had smelled so good that, as the slaughter surrounded them, Aro had difficulty stopping himself as he had injected the venom. He hadn't read anything off her, not even a whisper.

He'd changed her, anxious for the results. They were better then he expected when she had resisted both Jane's and Alec's hardest attacks, only giving them with the same blank look of vague distaste she customarily wore. The girl had rarely spoken to them, most of it consisting of "You killed them," "How can you expect me to take the life of another as nourishment?" and "Why do you want me, can't I leave?" or some other accusatory nonsense. She blamed them for killing whoever had been with her, she never said who, never even told them her name.

Aro had her sit in at all the meetings, hoping that she would see the importance of her position if she would cooperate, but she stoically resisted the call of power and control He couldn't even tempt her with human blood…

Then one night she disappeared, never to be heard of, never to be seen by them again.

There was a meek knock on the door and Gianna, a human that was employed at the reception desk, shuffled in with a wireless phone in one hand. She took one look at Aro's ruby red and oh-so-intimidating eyes swallowed audibly. "Uh, Mister Aro? Mister Demetri is one the phone. He wishes to speak to you immediately." When Aro continued to watch her squirm with a silence that was much more expressive than any words could be, she sputtered, "He says that it is very important."

Aro made an absent-minded gesture with his hand and one of the silent figures behind him stepped forward and took the phone from Gianna, who promptly ran out the door, and handed it to Aro with a bow. Touching the sleek and obviously advanced piece of technology to his ear with a faint yearning for the days of letters written on parchment and sealed with wax, Aro simply said, "Demetri."

"Master," burst a thrilled voice on the other end of the machine. "I have found her identity! The girl is from Phoenix, Arizona and was born September 13, 1944. Her father and mother had taken her on a vacation to our city when-"

"Her name?" demanded Aro, his voice chilled in the new urgency that had taken him over. "What is her name?"

"Isabella Swan."

000

"…and I ran the whole way here, hoping like Hell that Alice was right." After Edward's lengthy narrative, the air around them seemed to be mysteriously silent, only the sound of a cold wind rushing through the branches of evergreens penetrating the hush. Edward spared a quick glance out the window to confirm that it was now in the early hours of the morning before letting them return to the person they yearned to see, Bella.

"They sound lovely, Edward," Bella said, absent-mindedly twirling her finger across his bare chest. The name Cullen seemed to want to grab her attention, pulling incessantly at the edge of her brain, but she ignored it, focusing on the naked man in her bed with renewed zeal. The smile on her face stretched wider as she looked into his intense eyes and she felt as though her heart would burst. The happiness that surged through Bella's body buzzed and simmered in an electric way she couldn't begin to explain. Even the way his hair fell untidily across his forward was interesting and vital to her.

"I wish," she sighed, readjusting herself so she was half lying on top of him, wrapping her arms around him, "that we could just stay here." As soon as the words came out of her mouth, another thought came to her mind. "When are they expecting us to return?"

That snapped Edward out of his dreamy daze and he sat up quickly, searching for a clock. Finally, his eyes rested on an old analog on the opposite wall and he sighed. "Probably in a few hours." He looked down at Bella, who was now reclining back on her elbows, and amended. "But, I'm sure they won't mind us staying here a few extra days," Edward leaned down and pecked her on the lips, "or weeks," she locked her hands behind his neck and deepened the kiss, "ok, years. We won't even have to leave the house."

Bella held back a giggle and feigned surprise. "But what ever will we do?"

Chuckling, Edward pulled Bella up to a sitting position and brought his lips closely to hers, his breath tickling the side of her face and sending her brain into a whirl of blind emotion and putting a screeching halt on all thought processes. "Oh," he whispered, "I'm positive we can think of something."

Resisting the temptation, Bella pulled out of his grasp, ignoring his sour expression, and made her way to her dresser. "We should get going, Edward. I really want to meet them and – Don't look at me like I just killed your puppy!" Bella walked over to the bed and, thanking God that he couldn't read her mind and see how close her resolve was to breaking, kissed him sweetly. "Just think," she purred, "we have forever to do that."

That seemed to console him because he grabbed his clothes off the floor and pulled them on. "I just can't seem to beat your powers of persuasion, Miss Swan. While you get ready, I'll just go on a quick hunt if since we're going to be moving through well populated areas. I'll be back in a few minutes." Edward threw in a sly smile and winked extravagantly at her. "Don't try and miss me too much."

Bella sighed contently as she heard him start whistling a peaceful tune, which grew fainter and fainter the farther away he went. Though she wouldn't tell him, imagine the ego boost it would give, she already did miss him. It was cliché and corny, but not being in his presence hurt her heart, and she hoped that he would be done hunting soon.

Trying to distract herself, Bella finished dressing and started wondering around the small house, picking up what little amount of items she owned and tucking them it. After some trouble, she found her cell phone half-hidden under the sofa and, out of habit more than expectation, checked the screen for any missed calls. Surprisingly, it declared New Messages. Bella went through a couple failed attempts, never having mastered these new, sleek machines with many hidden shortcuts and codes, she finally extracted the message from the little phone and played it.

"Miss Swan," said a cool and professional voice, "my name is Henry Grant and I work for your security company. I'm sorry to have not gotten a hold of you to speak about this personally, but I'm afraid the situation is rather, um…odd. Your apartment in Manhattan was broken into by unusual means."

The man seemed to hesitate for a second, maybe squinting at a computer printout of the facts, hoping they could shape and reform themselves into something that made sense, and continued. "Your door, which is doubly-reinforced with two slabs of steel, was, well, ripped off its hinges." The man would then go on to explain how nothing appeared to be stolen and that the rest of her apartment was unscathed, but Bella only heard it in the back round when she dropped the phone and thought three horrible words.

They've found me.

Panic rose within her, she felt a scream coming toward the surface, and she looked over at the door, hoping to see Edward already back, there to comfort her and protect her and –

Edward. This is what she had feared since the beginning, when he was human. They would certainly use any of her loved ones to lure her back to that awful place, full of blood and screams and death. She couldn't let it happen; Bella loved Edward too much, and if they were to find a way to connect him to the Cullens then…

The thought broke off, interrupted by the previous annoyance that had been trying to tell her something about the Cullens, something that was important. It had been in Volterra when she had heard it, being discussed in the circular throne room of the three rulers. They had been…worried about the family, saying that they had grown too strong with their large number and powerful gifts. Marcus had spoken up for them, saying, "But they feed off of animals, they are too soft to be considered a real threat."

And that had been when Bella first realized that there was an alternative to the homicidal life they were trying to force on her. She had only remembered the new hope within her, not the name of those who had inspired it.

Bella's fear doubled, because not only did they find her, knew where her name, but she was also threatening the safe, peaceful lives of a family she had never met, who had saved Edward from a terrible death. If Aro and the others found out that they even had a mind-reader within their coven now, that they were even stronger than before, he would surely find any excuse he could to take them to his side, make them his own. Bella couldn't let the heartless Volturi put them in any harm, she had to take away all association to her, distance herself from them…from Edward…

She had to leave him. Again.

Her heart broke at the mere thought, but her mind rushed and told her that he'd be back at any moment. And if she would see his face, hear his voice, she knew that she'd never be able to leave his side. She needed to get out and figure out an answer to this; maybe she could talk it out with them, strike up a deal.

Bella bent down and picked up the phone, snapping it shut and stuffing it in her bag. While keeping an ear out the whole time, Bella grabbed a piece of paper and started to scribble madly upon it, trying to get everything she was thinking and feeling written down. When it was done, she set it on the nightstand and placed the charm bracelet, the one Edward had had the whole time, only to give back to her, on top. It's better that he has it, Bella thought, as something to remember me by. It chilled her, because tagging along, finishing the sentence was, in case something should happen to me.

The snow-covered forest was still as she left the house, hesitating six times, already sobbing tearlessly. Her heart was crying out to Edward, telling him to come back early and stop her, but her brain silenced it. You're fooling yourself, her heart yelled, if you think that leaving will stop them from finding those dear to you! The brain ignored the protest and pressured Bella's limbs into stiff movement, slowly building up to a sprint.

Before the trees covered the house, before everything she cared for disappeared out of sight, Bella looked back at the empty house that, under its unassumingly simple exterior, didn't even hint at the horrors of heartbreak that lie within.

She continued on, though, chanting the reasons for leaving that were growing more insubstantial to her mind the further she went away, her heart not believing a word of it.

I'm doing this for Edward, she told herself. For Edward.

I know, I am a very terrible person. I hope I can update soon, and thanks for reading.