A/N: Hi all please review. You have no idea how much your reviews inspire me to write more. If I don't get reviews, I tend to think it means no1 liked much about the story, so I am not motivated to write more.
Tell me what you do/don't like. What you want to see, who's point of view, whether or not you agree with how I'm portraying characters. Or just comment telling me you've read it. I am EXTREMELY shy about my work, and unsure of the opinions of you who read it. So let me know how I'm going. Don't be afraid to tell me you hate it, I'm a big girl I can handle it
Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters; they all belong to SM who I am totally in awe of.
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SORRY SORRY SORRY AGAIN FOR THE READING YOUR DIARY THING. BUT LIKE YOU SAID BABE, THIS WAY WE CAN SORT THINGS OUT RIGHT? I KIND OF KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT THE BELLA BEING CHANGED NOW THING, BUT ROSE SHE'S IN SO MUCH DANGER AS A HUMAN, SHES A WALKING DEATH TRAP AND WE KNOW THE VOLTURI ARE AFTER HER. BESIDES, IT'S WHAT SHE WANTS AND SHOULDN'T IT BE UP TO HER? YOU'RE RIGHT, SHE DOES HAVE THE CHOICE AND THIS IS WHAT SHE'S CHOOSING. I DON'T WANT TO ARGUE WITH YOU ROSE, AND I FULLY SEE YOUR POINTS. ROSALIE YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU RIGHT? YOU ARE THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME; YOU SAVED MY LIFE AND GAVE ME EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED. BUT IM NOT THE ONLY ONE IN OUR FAMILY WHO LOVES YOU AND ACCPETS YOU FOR YOU, THE OTHERS LOVE YOU JUST AS MUCH AS ME. YOU'RE THE BIG SISTER WE ALL NEED TO KEEP US GROUNDED AND REMIND US OF WHAT WE WERE. AND IM SORRY I CANT GIVE YOU THE LIFE YOU WANT, THE CHILDREN AND OLD AGE...BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING OKAY. I TRY TO MAKE YOU AS HAPPY AS YOU'VE MADE ME.
I KNOW YOU HAVE EDWARD AND BELLAS BEST INTERESTS AT HEART AND YOU THINK WE'RE BEING SELFISH BUT BABE IT'S NOT YOUR LIFE. IT'S BELLA'S DECISION. SHE ISN'T AS FRAIL AS YOU THINK SHE IS AND SHE'S SMART. WHY MAKE HER WAIT? BESIDES BABE, IT'S NOT UP TO US, SO DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT IT I AHTE TO SEE YOU SAD XXXXXXXX
Emmett I'm scared. What if Bella replaces me in the family? You're the only one I really make happy, to everyone else I'm just the stubborn angry bitter girl who can't let go of her past. Alice has accepted Bella as her sister, no questions asked. Am I that bad of a sister that Alice was so desperate for a new one? I know you think I'm some kind of angel, but I'm not, I am so flawed, and Bella brings that out in me so now everyone can see. And Jasper and I have always been close, he's the only one who seems to understand not being happy and comfortable as a vampire, but even he doesn't agree with me about this. I know Carlisle regrets changing me; I can see it in his eyes Em. I'm nothing but a disappointment. And now this girl, this girl who has everything I ever wanted is walking into my life and taking my place, she's taking my place in the family, she's better at it than I ever was. Everyone has their part in this family; Edward's the oldest brother who can do no wrong. You're the laid back, tough, funny brother who would do anything to protect his family. Alice is the bubbly, lovely sister who everybody loves. Jasper's the sensitive bother that is always there to diffuse a situation and make us all see reason. And Esme and Carlisle are the doting mum and dad who support their children with all they have. Who am I? I don't fit in Emmett. I feel like a doll, and it's my turn to be put on the shelf and be forgotten. Bella has everything I want and she's throwing it away Em! I know it's not my life Emmett but how can I be happy with that? How can I watch her do this? I know what I'm saying makes sense, I KNOW I'm right!! But no-one will listen to me; they think it's just me being me. I don't know what to do Emmett. I feel so helpless. You're the only one who makes me feel like I actually belong in this life, in this family so don't you dare apologise for not being able to give me children or old age. I changed you out of selfishness Emmett, I couldn't let you die. You are my life Emmett. And I know you try, you make me so happy, happier then I deserve to be. I love you. So much. Rose xxxxx
ROSE! SHIT I ONLY HAVE LIKE TWO MINUTES COS ALICE IS BEHIND ME, SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE DIARY AND SHES READ IT AND SHE WANTS TO WRITE AND IM SORRY BUT SHES PUNCHING ME AHHH LOVE YOU BABE
Omg, you accuse us of being selfish, look who's talking! You know what I think Rosalie? You're jealous. Plain and simple. You've always felt left out of our family, no matter what we do or how hard we try to show you that we love you, you think you don't belong. You think being a vampire is a cross you'll have to bear for eternity, but it's not your cross Rose! You made it your cross! I know it's not easy for you but it's not easy for any of us! You're so full of regret and self sorrow that you don't realise that you're surrounded by people who love you unconditionally! Have you ever thought how that makes us feel?! Have you wondered what that does to Esme and Carlisle? No, because it's all about you Rosalie Hale, and now you can't stand the fact that someone else is getting some attention. You can't stand the fact that we have all accepted Bella into our family just like that. She's going to be changed sooner or later, so what if she's not dying? She WANTS to be in our family, she WANTS to be our sister, and yes believe it or not she even wants you as a sister. Look I hate being cross with you, your my sister and I love you, but I can't just stand by and watch you hurt my family like you are. Our family. You have this wall up all the time, this tough rigid barrier that lets no-one through. We see the cracks Rose; we see the hurt and despair you try to hide. WE KNOW YOU. We know you try to hide yourself so you won't get hurt like you did by Royce. No-one deserves what happened to you, no-one can deny that, but Rose let us in. Talk about it. You're my sister, that's what sisters are for and you've done nothing but push us away. You're not the weak link in our family, for god's sake; you're just as important to us as Carlisle or Jasper. We know you can be happy and take a joke, we've seen you being compassionate and loving and free with your beautiful smile. Not the pursed lips smile, or the forced laugh, but the laugh that you use when you forget all your insecurities and fears. Remember that time Emmett and Jasper 'kidnapped' us and took us to Vegas? You were so happy then, mucking around in the casinos and getting married for the tenth time (at least). Or watching you watch Edward play piano, the pride you have for your brother is so obvious. And the time we went to visit Tanya and Kate and their family, and watched Edward trying to get away from Tanya, I don't think I've ever seen you laugh so hard. You forget Ms Hale that we know you, family are there for each other, and Bella is family now. Bella is NOT going to replace you. How could you even think that Rosalie? Who do I go to when I feel insecure about my past? Who steals all your clothes and takes you shopping to buy more to steal off you? Who plans your weddings and gossips all night with you? I do Rose, and that's never going to change. I need you in the same way I need Esme to be my mother, and Edward to be my brother. I'm angry Rose, angry that you're being selfish and trying to make us feel guilty for wanting Bella to be part of our family. Bella doesn't want a baby, and as much as that may hurt you Rosalie, it's not your decision to make. Bella doesn't want a baby, she wants Edward and she's not going to be happy until she's a vampire and can have her happy ever after. Just because it's not the same as your idea of a happy ever after doesn't mean she doesn't deserve it. She's not throwing her life away Rosalie, Edward IS her life now and you're just going to have to accept that. Sure she's going to miss her mum and dad but that's a choice she is willing to make. Bella knows all these things, she knows the risks she is taking and is prepared for that. We aren't talking right this minute Rosalie, but sometime in the near future, you had better get used to the idea. None of us want to see Edward get hurt, but he's been hurting for his whole vampire life Rose, he's finally happy for once. Their forbidden love is such a beautiful thing, their relationship is going to have its ups and downs but the love that they have for each other is enough to get them through it, and it's all part of the ride. Edward will see sense, he knows deep down it's what's best. Besides, two words, 'The Volturi'... it's got to happen soon anyway other wise she will be killed. You didn't see the way they looked at Bella, Rose. They want her and I will NOT let that happen to the girl my brother is in love with. So stop being selfish and stubborn and talk to your family, because your breaking our hearts. – Alice.
P.S. Carlisle only regrets changing you because he can see how unhappy and hurt you are. He doesn't regret that you are part of our family, because he loves you and any dad loves their daughter. So how about you stop being so ungrateful to the man who gave you life, who saved you from death because you are hurting him more than you know Rosalie. That is why I'm angry with you Rosalie, because you don't understand or see what you are doing to the people who love you.