Disclaimer: Everything, except our OCs and the Earth, belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

Author's Note: Huh, Neji's POV seems to be becoming a favorite, doesn't it? LOOK! There's question marks in front of the POV sign- it must mean MYSTERY!! YAY FOR MYSTERY! Weeeell, let's continue on.

# The Feng Shui of Virginity Talks #

-x- ??'s POV -x-

"OI! NEJI! HINATA! HANABI!" I called out as I saw my friends and frenemy across the street. Aburame Shino was at my side and we walked over quickly; Akamaru following, along with my newest acquisition- a small white-tan dog that had showed up on the doorstep of the compound last night, apparently lost. She had been rather reluctant to follow me around at first, but I had wanted to make sure that she wasn't someone else's before we officially adopted her into the Inuzaka clan.

"OH MY GOD! MOLLY IT'S-" my gaze immediately turned towards the two different girls that were tagging along with the three Hyuugas. One of them, the taller one that was wearing oddly familiar clothing, had her hand over the other girl's mouth and was glaring at her darkly; the shorter girl was also the object of Neji's patented glare of failure- wait, his clothing, it seemed liked I just seen them somewhere else a moment ago. Where?

When the taller girl (who I'm assuming was named Molly since that's what the shorter one had called her) saw me looking at her, she immediately released the smaller girl's mouth, kicking the other one oh-so-subtly in the shin. The shorter one glared at Molly, kicking her right back before trying to find something to say that would cover up her blunder. Her eyes caught on my new dog.

"…..Ano, IT'S MY DOG! HOLLY!" the other one chirped, kneeling down in the middle of the street as I watched the little dog run into the arms of the strangely dressed girl. The little dog licked her all over her face, giving her puppy kisses as I watched, slightly sad, but happy that the dog had found her owner.

"We found her last night in front of our compound. She looked lost so we took her in, gave her a bath, some food, and a little shelter," I offered helpfully, watching the reunion between owner and pet and then shooting a questioning glance over at the Hyuugas; Neji ignored me and Hinata shook her head subtly.

"Ah, arigato Ki-….ano, what is your name?" the girl asked after a moment, standing up and cuddling the dog to her chest. Molly was watching the shorter girl carefully, as if she was trying to make sure that nothing stupid spewed out of her mouth. I know that I had seen those clothes she was wearing before, but where?

"Inuzaka Kiba," I said after a minute of staring at the Molly-girl and trying to remember where I had seen those clothes before, bowing respectfully and then motioning to Shino who also bowed. "And this is my friend, Aburame Shino."

"Ano, Tsai-san, Foley-san, these are my old teammates," Hinata stated shyly, fidgeting next to Neji as he continued his glare of failure in the two girls' direction.

"Ah, nice to meet you. I'm Foley Heather and this is Tsai Molly," Heather greeted us, bowing to us carefully as she tried to keep her tenuous grasp on a squirming dog; Molly followed suit, except without the dog part. "And my dog's name is Holly."

"Yes, well while this is all well and nice. We have to get back to the compound before three so I would appreciate it, Foley-san, if you would possibly cut your conversation short so that we may obtain some food and relax in peace," Neji said, glaring at Shino and me for a moment before turning his glare on Molly. That's when I noticed the connection- oh Kami-sama, this new girl was wearing Neji's clothes and, may I be the first to say, she was pulling them off pretty well. Kami, if she was wearing Neji's clothes than that must mean he gotten… laid last night; I shot a conspiratorial glance at the man of the hour himself, Hyuuga Neji, winking and nodding towards Tsai-san, but all he gave me was a cold glare.

Geez, I would think that Neji would be a bit happier and possibly in a better mood if he got laid last night. Apparently though, it just twisted his underwear tighter around his 'golden McNuggets', I thought to myself grumpily as Neji continued to now glare at me.

"Hai, well it was very nice to meet you, but I do believe that we must be moving on now," I said, shooting an affronted look at Neji, with Shino nodding right along next to me as we started to move away, but Hanabi's voice called us back:

"Come eat lunch with us!" she invited out loudly for the whole street to hear; my frown immediately turned upside down at the possibility of getting all the details from Neji and also spending some quality time with Hinata. Neji groaned, growling out something at his cousin before turning around and stomping into the restaurant, probably to get us a reservation. "We're paying!"

"Of course we will!" I whooped, quickly changing course and swinging myself, Shino, and Akamaru around to go join them at the café. This promised to be fun.

-x- Neji's POV -x-

I got us a nice table in the back, hoping not to draw anymore attention to our, now, party of seven. Arigatou, Hanabi. I dazed off in thought as the hostess took us to our table, not bothering to wonder why or how the two dogs got in, too. Before I knew it I that loud mouth Inuzuka was jammed between myself and that dim-witted, disrespectful, worthless- ahem- Molly, I mean, on one side of the table, the Inuzuka hound at the end. The other consisted of my two cousins, Aburame, and Heather (dog in her lap, if you think dogs are people, too; I guess that makes five).

"Soooo," Kiba drawled out in what sounded like a suggestive tone. "What did you do last night, Neji?"

I looked at him dully; this wasn't going to get him anywhere. "I slept. It's usually what most normal humans do at night."

The dog-like boy growled, but quickly recovered, still pressing the subject. "Well, you're not most humans, now are you, Prodigy-san? Did you possibly have someone visiting you while you slept last night?" Kiba pointedly looked towards the girl sitting on the other side of him.

Kami-sama, its happening...

Just like Heather-san said it would, damn kid.

I shook my head. It would be better to maintain my reserve and handle these odd questions simply to make sure my own words weren't used against me. The calmer I was, perhaps he would realize he was mistaken, and drop it. Answering too quickly would mean more trouble, as would hesitating before answering. I answered as I brought a glass of water to my lips, "Not that I'm aware of."

"Reallyyyy," Kiba said cynically as he looked down at Molly's clothes carefully. "Did Tsai-san jump you in the middle of the night and mysteriously steal your clothes afterwards or do you not remember that either?"

Water went down the wrong pipe as I inhaled suddenly, sputtering. The only person who paid me any attention, thankfully, was the Inuzuka kid; everyone seemed to be too deep into conversation to notice. I didn't feel like making a scene in front of everybody. '"Jump me in my sleep"?' I thought. 'Who even comes up with something like that?' Although... that made some odd images come to mind. 'Dear Kami-sama, what is wrong with people?' (I also notice that I seem to be praying more than usual. Meaning, at all.)

"I'm going to be taking that as a 'yes'," Kiba said smugly, grinning annoyingly. "I can't believe that you don't remember, geez man, that's just…weird. Of course you've always been weird, but now you're weird and laid. Interesting combination."

"If I didn't remember, how would that be a 'yes'?" I retorted. "There is nothing between Molly-san and me, and nothing will ever happen between us. The friendship, no, not even that, is strictly platonic. How she got my clothes... I don't even need to talk about it." That'll set him straight.

Kiba scoffed, "Well, gomen, Neji, you don't need to explain your one night stand to me."

"You're hopeless."

"You're weird and laid."

"You've lost your mind."

"You've lost your virginity."

"Urusei."

"Make me."

Finally, I turned away from Kiba, annoyed and unable to look at him anymore. The peaceful lunch that I had planned was turning into a nightmare and it was all thanks to Hanabi. The Inuzaka harrumphed in triumph before turning back to the other conversation, beginning to ignore me for which I was thankful. Oh Kami-sama, why me?

-x- Molly's POV -x-

I was listening to an interesting discussion between Hanabi, Hinata, Heather, and Shino about the weather (hehe, Heather about the weather). As you can guess the atmosphere was kind of awkward, especially in the fung shui-y restaurant that Neji had chosen. Geez, that guy had some sort of problem. I swear he's just trying to make everyone else suffer because of his eclectic tastes that should not be shared with the rest of the world.

"Soooooo, Shino-kun, why don't you take off your sunglasses inside?" I asked after a moment, slightly curious and not paying attention to what was going on to my left- Kiba and Neji were just too immature for me sometimes.

"Yeaaaaaah," Heather said, jumping right out of the weather discussion seeing as she probably had no clue as to what was going on. "Why do you wear sunglasses all the time?"

Shino looked at us, decidedly unsure how to answer while Hinata and Hanabi were making big no-no gestures behind his back. Uh-oh, we'd just done something bad, huh? Maybe it was a touchy subject, or perhaps we had just violated Japanese hospitality. Instead of looking at both of us, Shino turned most of his attention on Heather.

"How did you know that I wear them 'all the time'?" the Aburame male asked after a moment, freeing me up to listen to a bit of Kiba and Neji's argument- all I really caught was the tail end of Neji's furious outburst:

"There is nothing between Molly-san and me, and nothing will ever happen between us. The friendship, no, not even that, is strictly platonic. How she got my clothes... I don't even need to talk about it."

Oh really Neji, nothing was ever going to happen? You can count on that being wrong- I will drive you fucking insane. Mwahahaha.

Heather was still floundering with the question that Shino had so casually thrown out, "Ano, um…. You just have that sort of... feng shui about you; that kind that lets me know that you're in tune with your inner universe and whatnot. Obviously, the weather doesn't bother you behind those glasses."

I looked at her weird, along with several other of our table guests.

"Feng…shui?" Hanabi asked after a moment. "What is this…thing that you speak of?"

"Eh?" Heather asked, beginning to become flustered. "Ano, Molly explain it!"

"….Ano, it's about zen and peace with your outer space having to do with the arrangement of your furniture," I tried out; after all, I wasn't really big into feng shui, I just really liked the words.

"…eh, zen? Stop speaking Chinese to us!" Heather complained, her Japanese perfectly fluent as I shook my head at her- hypocrite.

"Um, zen, ya know, peace and whatnot," I mumbled as Neji and Kiba finished up their argument.

"Good job," Heather muttered to me before mysteriously keeling over.

Luckily, this distracted our table from questioning me further on what 'Chinese' was and some other choice questions that would've ousted us pretty quickly. I glanced at Heather, unconcernedly, and then turned away to my food that had arrived. Everyone else was looking at her worriedly and Hanabi had even worked up enough courage to actually touch her- I mean, wow. I wasn't really bothered by the fact that my best friend had just sort of upped and fell over and Holly wasn't really worried either, she was more concerned with the food. After all, I had told Neji that this was going to happen later; it was his fault for not doing anything.

"You're carrying her home, Neji-san!" I sang happily as I shoveled into whatever oddity I had ordered for the moment; Holly was happily eating Heather's food before Kiba put whatever he had ordered for Holly on the floor where she could reach it.

"Nani!? Your friend just fell over and you're not even worried about it?" the Hyuuga prodigy said disbelievingly as Hanabi, who was still trying to figure out what had happened to Heather, looked over at me.

"Um, no, she's just in a sugar coma. I told you that she was going to crash later, didn't I?" I said before turning back to my food.

"SHE'S IN A COMA?!" Kiba had obviously begun freaking out.

I huffed, swatting his head, before mumbling serenely, "Calm down, baka, people are looking at us. And she's not in a coma coma. It's more like 'I'm out like a light because of my low tolerance for too much sugar' coma. She'll wake up in a little while; Heather just needs some sleep for now."

Neji looked at me with an odd expression on his face before turning away to begin eating whatever he had ordered for his delicious universally-balanced meal. Slowly, the rest of the table followed suit, leaving Heather to snooze on undisturbed. When the waitress came by to ask if we needed anything, I asked for a to-go box. I wonder if they have to-go boxes in Japan or wherever Naruto's world was. Well, turned out they did and I boxed up Heather's lunch. She'd be hungry when she woke up; she always was.

-x- Neji's POV -x-

"Nani!? Your friend just fell over and you're not even worried about it?" These two... just get weirder and weirder by the moment. My younger cousin looked at the small of the two Water Country girls and then looked at the other one expectantly.

Molly turned back to her food after saying, "Um, no, she's just in a sugar coma. I told you that she was going to crash later, didn't I?"

Oh right, the chocolate she ate this morning. I vaguely remember that conversation. Kiba began to freak from the use of the word coma, but since Molly wasn't worried, I shouldn't be either. Molly knew Heather best.

She swatted Kiba's head and muttered, "Calm down, baka, people are looking at us. And she's not in a coma coma. It's more like 'I'm out like a light because of my low tolerance for too much sugar' coma. She'll wake up in a little while; Heather just needs some sleep for now." She seemed to be handling the situation well, acting her own age for once. I secretly hoped that she would be like this for the rest of the day.

I looked back over at Molly, confused, but I decided to just eat. We could worry about the sleeping girl later. Everyone seemed to return to conversing normally as Heather slept away. Molly asked the waitress for a box for her friend's food and it appeared that we would be ready to go soon. "Ano," I mumbled to Molly as I walked to her friend's seat at the table, trying to figure out how to carry her off with us. "How do- what should-"

"Just pick her up, baka!" She retorted.

Well, okay then.

I hoisted the girl up into my arms in a sort of bridal style, making sure to lift her back up slightly higher so her head wouldn't flop back. It wasn't difficult; the girl only felt a hundred pounds, max. I knew she was thin but this was ridiculous. Molly reached down to get the pup that was jumping to bite Heather's feet, strangely, but Hanabi insisted on carrying the dog, who had no protest.

With that, we walked out the door and onto the street, slightly subdued and catching weird glances from most of the villagers since I was carrying an oddly-dressed, knocked out girl, but mostly we got out of the restaurant and onto the streets without any incident. Kiba and Shino left us pretty quickly, promising Molly that they'd stop by tomorrow to check up on Heather and to see how things were going; I saw the heated glance that passed between Hinata and Kiba. That glance thoroughly disgusted me.

As we continued on towards our destination, Hinata and Hanabi fell into conversation, leaving me to walk alone with the ridiculously light girl that I was carrying and…Molly-if you want to count her as a person. Joy.

"Soooooo, Neji nothing will ever happen between us, is that right?" she asked after a moment of quiet strolling.

I froze slightly, but continued walking.

"Does that bother you?"

"That hurts Neji, right here," she said dramatically, clutching her hand over her heart, scrunching her hand in my shirt that she was wearing.

"I'm sure it does," I said, following the flow of the conversation easily.

"Geez you, I bet you think that you're some big hotshot and that you can do anything. That makes me laugh," she said, smiling happily as she quickly and effectively shot down my ego. "I bet people think that you're Hyuuga Neji the manwhore now, especially since I'm wearing your clothes and now you're carrying Heather," I subtly started choking. "Well, ja ne!" she said, running up to Hinata and Hanabi.

Oh gods no, please no. The muscles in my arms twitched as I controlled the urge to drop poor Heather-san right on the dirt road and leave her there to sleep. But I knew my anger was circled around her friend, not her. I walked behind the three other dark haired girls (and the dog) in silent until we reached the doors of our household at the compound. It was unbelievable the looks I had gotten from my relatives. I can't begin to imagine what crap I was actually going to get from-

Oh.

Shit.

Hiashi-sama.

Perhaps he won't say anything. And if he does I'll explain that this is all a huge misunderstanding. But would he believe me? Probably. Possibly. Maybe. Not very likely. I'm going to be in a lot of trouble aren't I? (Or have an unnatural and insanely large head-ache due to a certain seal.)

I followed Molly into her room, set Heather on one of the futons, and promptly made my leave as I ignored any comments Molly had to say. I didn't even turn to her as I stated firmly, "You have your own clothes now, get out of mine and put those on. I'll be back for them later."

Molly shrugged with a, "Whatever." I proceeded to storm out of that room and head towards mine, hoping for some peace and quiet alone. Which I knew wouldn't happen anyway as I tried to pass on by the one person I was trying to avoid confrontation with: my uncle. I attempted to walk on by with a respectful glance and nod, but, no.

Life hates me.

"Neji," Hiashi stopped me short. "Could I have a word with you?"

I kept a straight face as I bowed in respect. "Hai, Hiashi-sama," I answered as he pulled me aside in the hallway.

"Neji, lately there have been some…" Oh Father in heaven. "…indecent rumors concerning you and our honored guest, Tsai-san." And I have no doubt that he'll end up hearing more rumors by the end of the day. "I now give you this time to explain yourself to me."

"Hiashi-sama," I started out, trying to figure out how to word this delicately. "Nothing, absolutely nothing, is going on between Tsai-san and me. Sir, the rumors are simply because I let her borrow a change of clothes since she did not have any of her own. In all truthfulness, I'm not sure I can truly stand Tsai-san in…large amounts."

Hiashi looked at me for a moment, not sure exactly what to say.

"Well, that's…good the rumors aren't true, Neji. But, your tolerance of Tsai-san will probably need to increase since you are going to be seeing a lot more of her," Hiashi said after a moment, closing his eyes; he looked tired.

"Nani?" I asked after a minute, unsure if I actually wanted to hear this.

"Hokage-sama has declared that your next mission will be to watch over our two honored guests during their training," Hiashi said, making me freeze up; I really think that I stopped breathing for a little while there. "I trust that you will perform your duties with all that you have in you." Hiashi touched my shoulder as he started walking towards the girls' room; I stood there gasping for air, trying to contain the hopelessness that welled up and force myself to breathe without hyperventilating.

KAMI-SAMA WHY ARE YOU PUNISHING ME?!

-x- Molly's POV -x-

Ugh, Neji was an ass.

That was all I could think as I took off his clothes that he had oh-so-kindly lent to me and then threw them out in the middle of the hallway, sliding the door closed. Hey, he said he'd be coming to pick them up; hopefully he picked them up before someone saw them. I started sorting through the bags that had come back to the compound with us until I found my clothes and sighed contentedly as I pulled them on. So comfortable….

I stretched languidly, yawning a little- shopping never was my strong point- when I heard a knock at the door. I glanced towards it disinterestedly; if it was Neji, maybe he'd get the picture that I didn't want to be disturbed by him about the way he'd found his clothes, but the knocking continued, so I finally gave in to go see who was there. When I slid the door open, I immediately bowed when I realized who stood on the other side.

"Hiashi-sama," I greeted the male quickly, staying in the bow as I waited to see what he wanted.

"Tsai-san," he replied, holding out Neji's clothes…distastefully, as if returning something that was beneath him. "I believe my nephew would rather take his clothes back neatly folded, if you mind."

"Of course, Hiashi-sama," I said, finally rising from my bow to take the clothes away from him; I folded them quickly, laying them almost reverently on the bed I was using- hey, make a good impression with the big guy, right? "Gomen nasai for my mess."

"Yes, yes, just make sure that it doesn't happen again," Hiashi said disinterestedly as he looked around at the room and then at Heather who was still passed out on the bed. "Tsai-san if you would kindly wake up Foley-san, your sensei is here to greet you. I will wait outside to escort you when you are ready."

I nodded respectfully and Hiashi stepped out of the room, sliding the door shut behind him. I sighed in relief; I may be able to be respectful and act the perfect child, but that's what those two years of acting class in high school were for, weren't they?

"Hey baka," I said, throwing a pillow off my bed at Heather, hitting her in the head and making her startle awake. "Our sensei from Tsunade's here. We gotta go."

"Fiye moooe minotes…" Heather mumbled before toppling back over.

"HEATHER! WAKE UP OR I WILL GO TELL NEJI THAT HE NEEDS TO RAPE YOU!" I screamed, making sure that it was loud enough to wake my friend up, but not loud enough that Hiashi would hear and freak out- it's an art.

"AHHHHHH!" she screamed, shooting off of her bed as I sat watching, hugging my other pillow; her deadly gaze turned to me menacingly as I watched her innocently. "What the hell was that for?" she hissed at me angrily.

"You need to get up. Tsunade sent our sensei over and Hiashi-sama's waiting," I told her, knowing that the threat of Hiashi would get her moving quickly- he creeped her out.

"H-h-h-hiashi!?" Heather said, quickly darting over the shopping bags and tearing through them to find the outfit that we had bought for her. "Do we need our training stuff?"

I shrugged, motioning to my weapon-less self.

"Just leave it. We probably won't start today; after all, we just got here," I muttered, staring at the door and preparing to face Hyuuga Hiashi again- cue the acting skills. "Ready?"

Heather nodded quickly as I checked over her outfit once more. "Niceeeeee," I said, grinning, breaking my solemn demeanor for a moment to wolf-whistle at her.

"Urusei," she muttered before swatting me on the side of the head.

"Let's go."

Heather nodded and we stepped out of the door to follow Hiashi to where our new sensei was.

-x- Naruto's POV -x-

When Anko-sensei said that she needed my help with training a pair of new recruits, I instantly agreed. What could be better? I could show off my amazing prowess to two newbies and impress the creepy lady! It would was a good opportunity! Dattebayo!

When we walked into the Hyuuga compound, I freaked out a little, but was pretty cool with it. After all, Hinata and Hanabi got along with me pretty well and Neji was nice enough and it sounded like he'd had some fun last night too- I had to talk to him soon. Then I saw him sitting outside, lounging on one of the decks to the main house, and I couldn't resist calling out:

"Oh,hey Neji! I heard you got a girlfriend!"

Anko snorted, but ignored us, more focused on the door that was behind Neji instead of him. Neji's face flared with anger for a second before coming an emotionless mask.

"And you heard that untrue rumor from Kiba, I'm assuming?" the Hyuuga prodigy said calmly.

I nodded in disbelief. "Yeah! How did you know I heard it from him, though? It's going around the whole Village!"

His face paled for a moment before he stood up, eyes sparkling with what I thought was glee, about to come talk to me about something I'm sure, but that's when his uncle slid open the door.

"Ah, Anko-san, you're here. Good, you can take over our two honored guests in their studies," Hiashi said in greeting, stepping aside so that the two new students that I would help train could step into the late afternoon sunshine. At that moment, something on the roof caught my eye, a flash of light from something blinding me, but not before I saw a blur of red and black- placing me on alert. The voice I heard after that completely shifted my attention, though:

"Naruto-kun…?"

"Foley-san?" I mumbled quietly, rubbing my eyes quickly as Hiashi introduced the two people that I could now see indistinctly.

"Anko-san, meet Foley Heather and Tsai Molly. Your new students."

Everything suddenly swam into focus and I froze in surprise as I saw the two girls bowing to Anko and saw her glare sizing them up. Heather's eyes were locked on me while Molly was glancing at Neji, obviously wondering what he was doing here.

His glare back at her was deadly and made me want to freeze up in terror- he must really hate her- but she simply scowled back at him darkly as Hiashi added on:

"My nephew, Neji, is also on hand as the girl's protector. This is his new mission from Hokage-sama."

That comment did make me freeze up, Heather squeal in happiness, and Molly's expression turn stormy. This was going to be an interesting hell…