All my expectations of life were simple, I always wanted to have seen the world as well, before I die.
Or, at least to have seen other places in the world with my family and then up to my last
breath, be happy.
I wanted no money, it never lacked. I did not want to gain fame. I did not want to be famous for something.
I wanted to be Mary. Just Mary Alice. And someday, I wanted to have a nice new surname. Every girl wants such things, don't they?
At least now, in November 1920, because today I was nineteen. And it was everything too good to be true.
My mother decorated everything , the room was decorated with garlands and my cake was pink, I loved my mother for that.
"Thank you, CC, thanks Dad, Mom, I am excited on the whole things! And Uncle Tony!" we broke out in laughter.
Uncle Tony gave me socks every year. He suffered from Altsheimer, so I pressed every year to keep an eye on.
"You're welcome,sis"
"I'm Mary!" I laughed.
"That's what I said. And now, cut the cake, already ..."
I grabbed the knife, as my Mom halt me with her hand and turned the wheel of the new radio.
"Today is a great day, my darling. Today was Aunt Abbie, Aunt Agnes, and your cousins, Brittany and Anna at the presidential elections! Imagine ...!"
I heard their excited words. While CC seesawed amused with her chair, I leaned against the couch and placed my hands flat on the carpet under me. It was exciting. For the first time in history, women were allowed to choose, and they didn't want to miss this event.
"I hope they have the right elected, not that the next is as our Tony here," said my father leisurely and beat him with the newspaper on his half-balded head and threw the glasses off his nose.
"Are the germans already here??" he asked excitedly, looking around confused.
"No, and now Antony be silent, listen ..." my mother was a little louder than she wanted.
A long moment all were on the air, it was raining loud outside , and yet we were all excited, and we expected so much from the elections.
The speaker talked incessantly, we heard the speeches nus and as far as it was, my father took my mother's hand in his and I was just admiring them, but I was right back on the radio as she carefully climbed voltage.
[i ]"... new President of the United States of America; Warren Harding! "[/ i]
In the background were great uproar and cries of jubilation to hear, but we prevailed in the first moment, just a uncomfortable silence, until Uncle Tony broke the silence.
"So, where's the food?" he asked as if nothing had happened and I turned off the radio.
"You can not have everything, Mom" I said, appeasement, and laid my hand on her shoulder.
"As long as your aunts and cousins for Cox voted."
"Why weren't you at the elections?" asked Cynthia rebellious and stood up.
"Oh, be quiez .." I swished to my little sister, and stood up, too.
The evening passed relatively quickly, the cake was eaten quickly, and the mood was better the more you get used to the idea that Harding was the president.
CC and I were sitting on our big bed in the 2nd Floor and 3 candles lit it, but we had enough light, since we are still very near from the Biloxi Lighthouse that shone into the room.
"Are you sleeping already ...?" I whispered through the vast amounts of cotton blankets and pillows that had lost between us, as I fondles her head gently.
"Not anymore." she moaned and I giggled quietly.
I turned onto my back and looked at the lighting of the candles as CC was moving from the bed and stood up.
"What are you doing?"
"Something." she gave back groaning, as if I had to know what she was about to do. But I knew it right when she opened the cabinet and pulled out a little red packet between the summer things.
"Open the window" I asked her and put me on. It was too early to sheep, but also too late to stay up. I pursued her with a tired look, as she pulled open the window and her nightgown released her small, thin body.
"You should eat more, and smoke less." I advised her, but her answer was just a laugher and she lit her cigarette.
"And you shall not stand too close to the window"
"Lord God, Mary, we are here somewhere in the nowhere, except the lighthouse guard and the stars, nobody could see me ..."
"And Benjamin, he sneaks around at night in the Garden"
"He should keep his black ass in his bed ..." she cried stressed out.
"Stop the talking. Come to me."
It was a clear night, although it had rained all day. You could see the stars, the full moon in the sky and the light of the old lighthouse, that we called out neighboor. Although it doesn't stand close to the water, he stood in the midst of white sand and it was not groundless that there could be water somewhere. I smiled as I remembered of things from my childhood, as CC stubbed out her cigarette and put the window closed.
At this moment a cold shower plied through me as I threw the blanket over my head.
"You're such a wimp!" I heard muffled by the ceiling and felt just like something was at me. Cynthia was not heavy. Neither she nor I. I was incredibly small for the my age. You could have lifted me with one hand, if you wanted, at 1,48 m it was no trick. I was also a little ashamed of my small body and jealous of CC. Because, although she was younger, she was a full 7 centimeters bigger than me.
And anyway, the weight on me was like nothing to me , so I was able to shake her off, and with a suppressed laugh I pressed away the ceiling.
"You stink", I said giggling and made place beside me for her. "Why can't you just let it be?"
"I don't really care." she gave back and took a small mirror from the drawer beside the bed and rubbed her cheeks and forehead with a hand and had a serious look on her face.
"You're beautiful, and you know it"
"It sounds strange, from the mouth of my sister, and YOU know it" she replied grinning and put the mirror away.
"And ... what have you seen?" she asked impatiently after some time and my laugh passed away .
"Nothing important" I said quietly and looked at my hands in my lap.
"That's so not true" Cynthia argued and pulled a bit on my long, black hair.
Some time ago I told her that I could see things. Things that would happen. And as she once saw it by herself that these things really happened, she was be grateful that nobody else knew it, except us two. I was often near to tell it Mom, because sometimes it was really hard to keep it to myself, and certainly if there were important things.
"Okay okay ... I've seen." I said finally and tried to maintain a mood.
She looked at me surprised and nervous at the same time and I had a sudden grin.
"I've seen how you would smoke a cigarette" I joked and got a pillow against my head flown.
"You're stupid!" she said softly and went to a hair.
"Leave it!" I said and still had to laugh.
"Mary ," she said pressing. I had to give in, she was my sister.
I concentrated on a flower in the pattern of the bedspread and stared long at the empty spot, until I had everything together.
It all came back to me what I saw today only as scraps. In recent times, there were always more things that are also linked, which was the scariest.
"Mom will drop a cup of milk tomorrow morning; Dad forgets the newspaper outside, although it is raining; Rosie will come to us and tell us about her puppy she'll get from her father tomorrow ... and soon you will tell someome called Daniel that you'd like to be with him ... or something else which I do not want to explain ... "
I held my hand to my brows to cool me down and closed my eyes.
But I felt that CC suddenly sat differently and as I looked into her face I saw her very surprised and somewhat disgusted look.
"What?" I asked crowding.
"I ... have met Daniel only three days ago, and he was anything but acceptable, Mary. Could you try to fix this, please?" she said now quite disgusted once and swallows hard.
"It will happen" I said, sighing and looking back to my hands. It was pretty frightning, but still I could not help it.
I put my head back into the pillow and dropped on CC's brown curls, as she lied next to me and again would be almost asleep.
It was not easy. I no longer wanted to keep this secret, and I would have to tell CC that I wanted to confess to Mom ...
It would be the best, they would understand me. Smiling, I stood one last time and blow the candles out, and after a few minutes I also fell deeply and firmly asleep.