-1Ed and Eddy do: Eurovision 2009
A/N: This chapter is Ed and Eddy reviewing the second semi final of Eurovision 2009 (remember to Google it to find out what Eurovision is). Also Ed and Eddy review the entries that they rushed through to get through Semi 1 (including Georgia, who withdrew). However, they also end up annoying Edd, who's behind the camera filming. Now let's continue, with Edd getting a new tape…
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Ed and Eddy were back in their seats. The remains of the old able has now been replaced by a new table. It looked the same, but it was made of a stronger material. And so, with a new tape in the camera, they continued with their show.
"Welcome back from those messages." Eddy began. "Hope that distracted you long enough for us to have some of those delicious jawbreakers. I could go for another one right now!"
"In due time, Eddy." Edd tried his best to calm his short friend down. "In due time."
"And so, let's continue with semi final 1."
"Shouldn't we do the rest of the first quarter-final?" Ed stupidly asked.
"Semi final, Ed." Eddy corrected his yellow friend. "and we guess we could. We've got enough time…"
"So, what do you think of Portugal's entry?" Ed took control of hosting.
"I thought it was…" Eddy noticed something wrong. "Hey, I'm supposed to ask that." Eddy then grabbed the boom microphone, and repeatedly hit Ed on the head. "Although when you listen to it, Bulgaria was good."
"Very true, but we're talkin' about Portugal." Ed thought we was correcting Eddy.
"I knew that." Eddy resumed hitting Ed with the boom microphone.
"I thought it was OK. Couldn't understand what they were saying." Off-screen, we would hear Edd slapping his palm across his head, but this is a fan fiction.
"It was pretty much meh from start to end. OK, what about Malta?"
"Hasn't she entered before?"
"Yes. Twice. And came third and second respectively."
"Di she win this time?"
"No, but we'll come to the winner later."
"It was another one of those over done ballads that have been done this year. Next year, it'll be 1956 all over again!" Ed screamed and ran out of the building. Eddy then assembled a search party, and they went after Ed. After 2 hours, they got Ed, and Edd was able to restart filming.
"I thought it was partly a mushy ballad. But since it was based around a heartbreaking event, her dad kicking the bucket, I kinda liked it inside."
"Oh. You know you don't have do show respect by liking it."
"Shut up, Ed. That brings us to Bosnia."
"AND Herzegovina." Edd corrected.
"Yeah, yeah." Eddy moaned. "I get ya."
"Ed, your thoughts on that Bosnian entry."
"Have they sung in English yet?"
"Yes. Twice in a row."
"Never mind. It was OK."
"Same. Which brings me onto never-appearing Georgia."
"They don't want to puttin the negative move."
"They said it as poo-teen. Same way they pronounce that slaphead."
"Who, Puttin?"
Eddy then went back to hitting Ed with the boom microphone. "It's pronounced pyoo-tin here. And he's called Putin."
"OK, OK. Putin. Not Puttin."
"That's semi one out of the way. How about semi 2?"
"Not as good as semi 1."
"Did you like Croatia?"
"No."
"Same here. And they have performed in English."
"OK."
"Who's next? Ah yes, Ireland."
"Shoulda gone through, Eddy? Why does Europe hate Ireland (Ed pronounced it as is-land)"
"Ireland, Ed. And they must be jealous of the 7 times they won."
"Oh. If they don't let us through, I'll throw a brick at them." Eddy, just for the hell of it, dropped the boom microphone onto Ed's head. He then returned to his seat.
"Moving on. Latvia?"
"Couldn't understand what they were saying."
"Neither did I. But did you feel the same way when you heard Serbia's entry."
"Yes."
"Well, so did I. What about Poland."
Ed brandished a thumbs down sign. He yelled "Ballad!"
"Same here!" Eddy was starting to crack a smile. "Norway?"
"Should've won."
"They did win. With 387 points."
"Oh, OK." Ed threw his thumbs down sign, but it ended up hitting Edd.
"Ow!" Our hat-wearing cameraman shrieked when the sign hit him.
"Sorry!" Ed yelled in apology.
"It's alright. Continue as if nothing happened!" Edd clamoured to get up. Eventually he did, and resumed filming.
"Ed." Eddy hit his yellow friend in the leg with the lens cap. "What did you think of Cyprus' entry?"
"Alright." Ed felt his leg getting number to the points of him crawling.
"I'm appalled that it didn't get through." He then blew a fuse "EUROPE! WHY DIDN'T YOU LET IT THROUGH!!?!!?"
Ed, in fear, pulled a lever, and a weight came down and hit Eddy. "Sorry Eddy!"
"It's OK, Ed!" Eddy weakly mumbled from below the weight. He somehow pulled himself free, and stumbled back onto his chair. "Now I'm calm, what about Slovakia?"
"Have they sang in English yet?"
"No."
"They should."
"But the UK has always sang in English."
"Fair enough. But do you like the song or not?"
"No."
"Me neither."
"Fair enough."
"Denmark?"
"Was that Ronan Keating?"
"Dunno. Hard to tell. He did write it."
"But did he perform it?"
"Never mind, let's go to Slovenia."
"Is that the same as Slovakia"
"Probably" Eddy shrugged.
"They aren't the same thing!" Edd corrected them.
"I still didn't get it."
"Same here. What about Hungary?"
"I'm not hungry. I just ate a while ago."
"The country, Ed." Edd acted the usual way.
"Oh."
"We'll leave that one. As her bye June?"
"It's Azerbaijan!" Edd yelled from off-camera.
"That's what I said. As her bye June." Eddy yelled back.
It sounded like Edd was slapping his forehead, muttering "Why do I have to do this?"
"If you stop filming, I'll remove your hat again. And this time, I'll show it to everyone." Eddy threatened, shaking his fist at Edd.
"I'll continue, if you say 'Azerbaijan'."
"Fine, fine. 'Azerbaijan'."
"Boy, Double D looks mad Eddy."
"You don't have to tell me twice…" Eddy groaned
"Boy, Double D looks mad…"
"Ed, just review Azerbaijan's entry so that Mr. Perfecto over there would shut up."
"It was OK. What about you, Eddy?"
"Same. What about Greece."
"Meh."
"Are there any non-meh songs out there?" Eddy bellowed.
"Probably." Ed replied.
"OK, let's move onto Lithuania."
"Is it related to last year?"
"What do you mean?"
"I was listening to that song from last year, and it mentioned "Clocks a lot."
"Go on…"
"And he said 'Love' a lot…"
"To answer your question: No, Ed. They're not by Coldplay."
"One of the greatest bands in the world." Edd interjected.
"Says you. Moving on… Moldovia."
"It's 'Moldova'." Edd was doing what he does best.
"Are you always this difficult?" Eddy rudely asked Edd.
"Probably." Ed answered.
"OK, what about "Moldova"?"
"To fast for me, Eddy? Blippy is the flora from Mordorva."
Eddy rolled his eyes, then continued. "OK, next up is Albania."
"Bad trip, man." Ed started to freak out, which started to freak everyone else out. "Bad trip. I didn't take anything, but it keeps coming back. Why won't it leave me alone?"
Eddy got a baseball bat out and hit Ed on the head. Upon impact, it snapped in half and nearly hit Edd. If he didn't duck, he would be knocked out. "Shut up, Ed. I didn't like it as much as anyone else in the room." It then occurred that the Eds were the only ones there, and Eddy's voice echoed across the room. "Who else is there? Ah yes, Hamsters. I mean, Ukraine."
"Roman hamsters? That'd make a great comic book? Or maybe a gooder movie."
"It's 'better', Ed." Edd corrected the yellow simpleton.
"What's better?" Ed stupidly, and randomly, asked.
"It's an alright song, I guess. Now we're off to Eastonia."
"I'm not gonna correct you." Edd has finally grown tired of correcting his friends.
"Note that any band with the word 'Urban' in the title is folk, and singing gibberish." Eddy took over for Ed.
"Hey I was about to say that." Ed was slightly angry, but he forgave Eddy. "Rubbish song though."
"I hear ya on that one." Ed and Eddy high fived, however when their palms touched, Eddy's hand started to become red. With his good hand, he dropped the boom microphone onto Ed's head again. After a while, he returned to his seat. "OK, to the last one. The Netherlands."
"If it's called the Netherlands, how come people still go there?" Ed became more random than usual.
"Shut up, Ed."
"It was meh from start to end."
"Same. So, er… we're off to the finals, after this break."
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A/N: It took me a while to complete this, mainly because of work experience. And procrastination. And a little bit was due to TFF. Anyway, I'll upload this and go to bed. It was 1:35am when I completed it. UK time.
And yes, to reflect Ed's stupidity, I deliberately used the word "gooder". If this is making you want to watch Eurovision, then good for you. It's the UK. Not England. Not Scotland. Not Wales. Not Northern Ireland, but the UK. And they've got the juries in an attempt to stop bloc voting. If you are a Eurovision fan, and you like this, well get an account and start reviewin'! Or if you already have one, review. Other peoples, just do whatever.