-1Ed and Eddy do: Eurovision 2009
Final, etc…
A/N: This is the last chapter of Ed and Eddy do: Eurovision 2009. I don't know how to add it on, so I might add some more crap. Like the kids reviewing the show. And the Kankers coming and Edd getting revenge on them.
OK, this chapter is basically Ed and Eddy reviewing the last 5 entries. Which are: The UK (but both Ed and Eddy will call it something else); Germany; France; Spain; and Russia. And so, here we go…
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"Welcome back from those messages." Eddy began.
"I thought they were called commercials?" Ed was being his usual self.
"Shut up, Ed. Anyway, let's get this show back on the road." Eddy was eager to begin. "First up is Germany."
"Acceptable swing, Eddy." Ed gave his views on the song.
"Same here." Eddy agreed. "How about France?"
"Total gibberish. Have they sang in English yet?" Ed asked Edd.
"Yes. Partially in 2007, and with a few lines in French in 2008."
"It was meh." Eddy expressed his thought. "Too gibberish."
"Frankly, Eddy," Edd interrupted. "You can't speak French. Or any language apart from English."
"What do you think I am?" Eddy rudely asked. "A 'sharv'?"
"They're called 'Chavs' Eddy." Edd sardonically replied, crossing his arms.
"Whatever."
"What's a Chav?" Ed was curious. Obviously he's never heard of one, since he's never been to Britain.
"Never you mind, Ed." Edd was exasperated. Not only do Ed and Eddy get everything wrong, but they also tick off Edd.
"But I do mind."
"To hell with it. I'm off." Edd walked away from the camera. As Ed and Eddy saw him leave, Double D marched out of the door.
"You can't leave!" Eddy dashed for Edd's leg. But he missed, and landed in some cardboard boxes. And if that wasn't bad enough, a huge stack of cardboard boxes, all of them empty, buried him. It wasn't until Ed dug him out about 10 minutes later that he saw a light. Even though he was still breathing, Ed performed mouth to mouth.
About half an hour later, they were both sitting in their chairs, looking gloomy. With a cliché rain cloud over Ed's head. "Now we need a new cameraman." Eddy was looking at his feet, rather than talking to Ed.
"Auditions?" Ed's only brain cell was clearly working.
"ED! YOU GENIUS!!" Eddy boomed from the top of his lungs. However, when he punched the air, he accidentally hit Ed in the eye, knocking him to the ground. Ed got up, as if he felt nothing at all.
And so, they held up a banner at Eddy's house. Everyone in the cul-de-sac arrived. Even Kevin, who absolutely hated Ed and Eddy with a vengeance, but didn't mind Edd.
First up is Jimmy. He told Ed and Eddy to get in position. "Action!"
"So, Ed, what did you think of…" Eddy stopped mid-sentence. Why? Because Jimmy was at weird angles whilst filming. Even going as far as holding the camera upside down. It was clear Jimmy didn't get the job. "NEXT!"
After him was Jonny, who asked random questions about how sustainable the camera was. Eddy was obviously bored by all the questions. "Jonny."
"Yes, Eddy?" Jonny wondered how well he did.
"Shut up and film." Our wood-loving cameraman was still asking about the camera.
"But how much energy do the batteries…"
Jonny was cut off mid-sentence by Ed. "Nest."
"It's 'Next'." Eddy corrected our yellow idiotic friend.
Third in was Nazz. However, since the boys couldn't control themselves, it was hard speaking. "Um… Ed… What… did… you… tink… I mean 'think'" Eddy told Nazz she didn't get the job.
Kevin took control of the camera next. He had held up signs, in the shapes of speech bubbles, whilst Ed and Eddy were yakking. Eddy didn't notice, but Ed did. So he head butted Kevin out of the building. Clearly, they needed someone else.
Sarah, marched straight into scene, didn't come here to film them. But she was in her usual mood. "ED!" She yelled, causing Eddy to cover his ears.
"Yes, baby sister?" Ed toadily whimpered.
"Why didn't you choose Jimmy to film your stupid show?"
"BEAT IT SARAH!" Eddy yelled, even louder than Ed's sister. He then picked her up, made her into the shape of a football, then he kicked her out. Like our megalomaniac midget friend, Sarah landed in Washington D.C., where she crashed through a wall. Unlike the White House, it was the building on Capitol Hill. Where Congress meet.
"…And that's why we should ban cowboy hats on Wednesdays." A politician just finished his speech. As he returns to his seat, he takes off his glasses, and places them neatly on the table. It's like he's related to Edd, although he's slightly mad.
Just then, Sarah bounced around the room, like a rubber ball being dropped from a height. She rebounded across the room and escaped through a window. She stopped bouncing when she hit the pavement outside, and recoiled into her original shape, give or take a few bruises. She then had to hitch-hike her way back.
Back in the cul-de-sac, Eddy had a black eye. Ed, in his loving bigger brother mood, hit the megalomaniac on purpose. None of the candidates were good enough. And so, they had to get their original cameraman back.
At first, they tried a lure. Using the ant farm. However, they weren't too smart doing so. When they ransacked Edd's room, the ant farm was missing. And they got the wrong house. They were in an old house being demolished. As the walls collapsed on them, and they went through the floors, they felt like they were on a ride. It was only then that the demolishers knew that there were people in the building. Ed and Eddy got out safely, Eddy being small enough to slide under the door, and Ed smashing through the nearly-collapsed wall.
Secondly, they tried bribing him. But, since they found nothing he would like, they aborted.
Finally, Ed thought. "My brain just thunk." he exclaimed.
"Go ahead, Ed. Lay it on me." Eddy wasn't interested in what his yellow friend had to say.
"Why don't we…" After Ed said that, he whispered something intelligible into his minute, megalomaniac friend.
And so, they knocked on Edd's door. Edd came to the front door, and greeted them. "I suppose you're here to get me to film you again."
"Yes." Eddy replied, refusing to make eye contact with the intelligent one.
"Will you be stupid whilst I'm filming?"
"Yes." Ed then hit Eddy. "I mean, no."
"Yeah, alright." Edd then stopped to think to himself. "But no stupid business."
"We know." Ed and Eddy murmured in unison.
And so, they were back to the way they were at the start of the fanfic. Ed and Eddy were in their chairs, and Edd was back behind the camera. Then, Edd boomed "And the Lord said 'Let there be light!'" as he flicked the switch on.
"So, Ed. What did you think of the Commie's entry." Eddy was like most Americans during the Cold War (and some nowadays). It never occurred to him that the Cold war was over, the Soviet Union is now a mixture of countries, and Joseph McCarthy, the main force between anti-communism in the US, died about half a century ago.
"Eddy." Edd was on the verge of quitting being an Ed, and hang out with the rest of the kids. Including Kevin. "You're an idiot."
"Why?"
"The Soviet Union's no more; Cold War's over; McCarthy's dead. You can like communists now!"
"I like commonists." Ed stupidly said, causing both Eddy and Edd to slap their own foreheads in exasperation.
"Well, I'll just skip it. Besides, I hated it anyway." Eddy talked about the Russian entry.
"Same here." Ed pouted in a military-type voice.
"What about the Español entry?" Eddy asked Ed.
"Are they really for her?"
"What?" Eddy was obviously confused.
"Well, Pink sings 'The nachos are for me'"
"Erm… Ed?" Edd politely asked the yellow moron. "That wasn't Pink. That was someone else."
"Some flight attendant." Eddy corrected.
"Now, we're on the last entry. The UK." As Edd said "UK", the background became the Union Jack, and God Save the Queen played in the Background.
"I thought your national anthem was Rule Britannia." Eddy was still following the traits of most Americans.
"Only morons who have never been to the United Kingdom make that mistake." Edd retorted. "Ditto those who thing the Union Flag is the English flag. The real English flag is the St. George's Cross!"
"OK, OK. Just stop ranting, and we'll continue."
"I've ceased all complaining."
"Thank you. Now, Ed."
"Yes, Eddy?" Ed looked at Eddy.
"What did you think of the English entry?"
"It's the UK entry! England's part of the UK." Edd was boiling with rage.
"Oh, alright." Eddy noticed this mistake, but continued anyway.
"The English entry?" Ed asked, crossing his arms.
"It's UK!" Edd still tried to correct them, to no avail.
"Yes, the English entry."
"UK!" Ed yelled.
"I thought the English entry was absolutely awful."
"How many times do I have to say 'it's the UK'?" Edd was growing tired.
"Why didn't you tell us it was the UK entry?" Eddy was oblivious to Edd's shouting.
Edd didn't say a word. He was so gobsmacked by Ed and Eddy's stupidity, he didn't say a word. "Did you like it, Eddy?"
"Nah," Eddy expressed his views on the UK entry. "I didn't like the English entry at all."
When Eddy said that, Edd felt homicidal. Ed and Eddy (especially Eddy) weren't paying attention to what Edd said. But he tried to calm himself down. Luckily, it worked. If it didn't, this would be an M-rated fanfic.
About two hours later, Edd edited the film. He then distributed it to video, and held the premiere at his house. At around 6pm, everyone in the cul-de-sac came, including Kevin, who was forced to come by Nazz. "So, Double Dork. Why are we here?" He wanted to know what was going on.
"Thanks for coming to the premier of Ed and Eddy do." Edd greeted everyone, as he turned on the telly.
"Half-brain Ed boy and crabby Ed-boy do what? A tree? Rolf is confused" the son of a shepherd felt like his brain exploded.
"Never mind and just watch it." Edd ignored what Rolf had to say.
Just as he started it, the door was pushed open by three people. One was a red-head, and the hair covered her eyes. The next had blue hair, which covered one of her eyes. And the last had buck teeth and blonde hair, the hair not covering any of the eyes. In other words: The Kankers have arrived. "Hey boys." the trio said in unison.
"KANKERS!!!!" Ed yelled as he grabbed Eddy and hid in the bathroom.
"Back. BACK!!" Edd yelled reaching underneath his hat. He pulled out a bottle full of holy water. "Go away! We don't want you here" He screamed as he threw holy water at the Kankers, covering his eyes. However, a few drops hit May in her eyes. She screamed as he hit her sisters, causing them to crash into a fire hydrant, which shot them up into space.
Edd then uncovered his eyes. Not only did he get rid of the Kankers, but he also won. The Eds finally beat the Kankers. After months of trying and failing, the Eds emerged victorious. There was a roar of celebration, and everyone threw Edd into the air. Ed and Eddy came out of the bathroom, and joined in the festivities.
As a treat, Edd pressed play, turned on the subtitles, then sat down with the others, especially next to Nazz. He used his robot servants to give everyone their food, and he relaxed in his chair. He looked at the screen, and enjoyed watching. And, hopefully, he will have a better relationship with the blonde next to him.
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Well, that's it. It took forever to finish this. Due to the lack of reviews for TFF. Took you long enough!!!
Anyways, if you're wondering what gob smacked means, it means surprised. Edd is surprised at why Eddy was doing what he was doing.
Oh, and I've also got a account. I'll give you the link on my account page.