My eyes immediately ventured towards the door, I saw no one, but I had heard someone else take a quick breath. I strained my ears, listening for any indication that someone else was there with me; wishful thinking begged it to be her. I knew it wasn't her, she was gone forever. I reached into my robes and pulling out a worn scroll of parchment. It was now folded and crumpled in so many ways you'd never believe someone such as I would be holding onto it. It was the last thing she ever gave me.

I gave a sad smile towards the crumpled drawing in my hands—it was drawing of us. Her arms around my shoulders, an actual smile on my face and the pure joy that only I could give to her danced across her features. I was angry that such a beautiful woman was killed and it was my entire fault. If I wasn't so selfish and so careless she'd still be here—or so I tell myself. I deserve the guilt that eats away at me like maggots do to a deceased carcass.

I heard a breath, this time it was closer—someone was with me. Invading my private moment, witnessing my emotions. I muttered a spell and a body fell to the ground. I merely saw bits of body parts, as if it were covered by something. I muttered the finite and yet they refused to move. I let out a growl of frustration and climbed to my feet. I couldn't bring myself to uncover who had just witness a moment of my weakness.

I gave the visible leg a hard kick and I heard them groan in response. I merely sneered down at them and walked towards the door, slamming it behind me for good measure. They'd be stuck there till the morning when the doors were charmed to unlock. I made my way down to the dungeons, silently. When I made it to the dorms I shared with only two other returning students, I went to the wash room.

I glanced at the reflection I had in the mirror. What had happened to me? The disheveled boy staring back at me, sorrow and guilt shined dominant in his eyes. His hair was a mess, a tangled mess. His washed out features, the only thing to stand out where his gray eyes—beacons to his soul. I reached out to place my palm against my reflection, touching the only person who spent time with me. Even then it wasn't always willingly.

I splashed my face with cold water and brushed my teeth before I changed into my nightclothes and climbed into bed. Sleep would not come to me tonight—it hardly ever did anymore. If it did, it was plagued with nightmares—of her final moments. No one should've died that way—I begged for her death, to kill her faster; she shouldn't have had to suffer. Not like that.

Every time I closed my eyes it was her tear and pain stricken face. The pools of blood that seemed to grow, making me wonder how much blood a body could actually hold. Her screams and pleas for me to get away, to leave her alone—she wanted to save me. She died so that I could live. I didn't want this life though—without her I was nothing. I'd never forgive myself for this and I know I couldn't ever forget either. Trying to do so was futile.