Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, The Flight Of the Conchords boys or any of their songs nor do I claim to, I'm just playing with them :)

Jenny AKA Bella By bays1

Edward was sitting on a park bench. Not just any park bench but one in Forks.

Forks was a small town and it was therefore understandable that Bella was surprised to see him without anyone first telling her of his return. For moment she was in the right mind to just run back the way she came but two things stopped her. One, Edward was probably already aware of her presence and might think her cowardly and two, running usually didn't end well for Bella anyway. And so, she held her head high and marched over to the person who had caused her the most pleasure and the most pain she had every experienced.

"Hello," She all but whispered as she sat beside him. He looked around startled as if he expected her to be speaking to someone else and when he realised they were all alone, his handsome expression became even more surprised.

"Hi," His voice was as intoxicating as she remembered. It brought back fond memories.

"Hello, man sitting in the park," Bella grinned. This was going better than she hoped. She hadn't fallen to pieces and was actually feeling cheerful rather than ready to blubber.

"I just said hi, woman sitting in the park," He seemed a little impatient, almost dismissive. Bella frowned. She needed this closure, she had to talk to him and Edward didn't even care that she was there.

"How you doing?" She asked in a desperate attempt to continue the conservation and keep him for running away like he did those few years ago.

"Mmm, good thanks." Edward seemed anxious. Was he waiting for someone else?

"You're looking good," How very intelligent Bella. Why don't you talk about how great the weather is next?

"Pardon?" He must think she's an idiot. How could he be looking good? He had looked exactly the same when she last saw him and he would continue to look just as amazing until Judgement Day.

Still Bella repeated what she said. "I said: You're looking good."

"Fair enough." His velvet voice said this with an odd inflection as if he was going to say something more. Like her name. Surely he hadn't forgotten her name? He said he loved her and he had forgotten her name?

"Bella." It was only right to remind him. Maybe it was a temporary mind blank. Maybe.

"Pardon?" Her brow furrowed again. Edward had super-human hearing and yet, he was using that word an awful lot.

"Bella." She repeated. Did vampires ever begin to lose their hearing like old people?

"No." He examined her face. Bella was annoyed. She knew her own name. "I am sorry I think you have me mistaken for somebody else."

She felt her mouth gap open. Edward though she was calling him Bella! "No, it's me Bella. My name is Bella." Disappointment flooded her body. He didn't remember.

"Oh ..you're…oh…Has..ha..nah…I…thought..oh," Edward stuttered. Edward never used to stutter. "What a hilarious misunderstanding. Nice to meet you Bella." He held out his perfect hand but Bella didn't take it.

"We've meet before," She promoted. He didn't say anything. "Quite a few times actually." Bella chuckled darkly to herself. More than a few times.

"Yes, Of course we have. I meant it was nice to meet you that time I met you." Sure you did Edward, you heartbreaking, life ruining bloodsucker, you. "Where was it that we met that time I met you when I met you?"

"At school." Bella answered shortly. She couldn't be bothered playing the charade anymore but something stopped her from leaving.

"That's right!" His face lit up with recognition. He remembered? "Wasn't it one of those boring college classes?" Perhaps not.

"No." She crossed her arms defensively. Oh, she was in the right mind to let Jacob have a piece of him.

"That's why I said wasn't it." He stopped for a moment. "It was in high school. Was it? Wasn't it? Was it? Wasn't it?"

"Yes it was."

"I thought so." No you didn't. Bella took a calming breath to prevent any violent outbursts on her behalf.

"Oh Jackson's?" He blundered guessed.

"No,"

"Renald's?" She began to find enjoyment in watching Edward squirm for the answer. It was almost soothing.

"No."

"Smith's?"

"No."

"Banner's." By some stroke of luck he got the name.

"Yes, Banner's."

"Banner's class, that's right. Mrs Banner knows how to teach a class. doesn't she Bella?

"Yeah, I used to love Banner's classes." Although, that was mainly because he was there but it wouldn't be that way now, now that he had forgotten her.

"I loved Bannner's classes too. What a crazy class. How is the old girl anyway?" Bella had to refrain from bursting into giggles. It looked like she the only one he had forgotten. Could vampires get amnesia?

"He's good," She smirked triumphantly. Edward's face dropped and he looked dazed as to how to answer.

"That's right, Mr Banner hated when I forgot that." As much as she was hating Edward right now, Bella had to admit it was a nice save on his behalf.

"We went to a restaurant," Bella said with only a hint of the maliciousness she was feeling inside. Let's see him smooth talk his way through this one.

"Yeah," He nodded although the dazzling smile was obviously fake. He had no clue. "It was something like but not necessarily Dave's Hog Lodge. We ate till we burst."

"It was Bella Italia, you didn't eat." Gotcha! But why would he say he ate? He wouldn't be eating no matter who he took to the restaurant, whether it was a girl he now didn't remember or not. "We went for a walk."

"On our feet if I remember correctly." Well done Edward. A walk on your feet.

"You took me to a meadow."

"Oh, I remember exactly what we did at the meadow. We listened to the sounds of nature and wondered how anything could be so beautiful. Oh it is so beautiful in the dark. We talked about how the fireflies seemed like reflections of the stars that shine out so pretty and bright, that night."

"It was daytime."

"The daytime of the night."

It was time for the final decision. Bella took a deep breath. "We have a child."

"Pardon?" Again with the pardons!

"We have a child." Bella snarled a little more forcefully.

"Why didn't you tell me, Bella? Why didn't you tell me that the day when we went to the meadow...? Does it have my eyes, my way with words? Does it look like me at all?"

"No, not all cause we adopted him." Tears prickled her eyes, not for herself but for their poor son. "I can't believe you don't remember it was a very difficult process."

"Oh, uh, Oh are you sure that was me Bella?" He shuffled his feet awkwardly.

"Yes I am pretty sure it was you Edward."

"I'm Brian." The words rang over and over in head. She didn't move as the truth sunk in. That's when Bella noticed his sparkling blue eyes. How did she miss that.? She used to get lost in Edward's eyes and she didn't even notice that Brian's were a completely impossible colour where her love was concerned. Oh dear. Not again! The delusions must be getting stronger. She need to go back and see her psychiatrist again.

A/N: So, what did you think? This is the first of my Flight Of The Conchords oneshots. I have more just waiting in the wings, so let me know what song you want next!! Did you love it? Hate it? Let me please. :D (OH and if you spot a mistake, don't hesitate to tell me)

bays1