The Becoming of Shin-Ra
Chapter 2... written in 2006 (!), but never published... I should look over these old files again someday.
"What do you mean terminate the person!? That's me!" Cloud shouted. Cait Sith was about to reply, but was interrupted by the lasers that shot out the sides of the room. Luckily, Cloud and Cait Sith weren't breaking the laser's beam, yet. "What's going to happen if we trip the lasers? The laser system is too complicated to slip past out of this shit hole!" Cloud cried. Cait Sith attempted to calm him down.
"Well.. if someone passes through them, they convert to Gamma-Based Hyper-Techno Laser Beams." Cait Sith sighed.
"And that means?!" Cloud asked in hysterics.
"Gamma-Based Lasers are beams of Gamma Radiation. It would kill you within seconds after killing your body's cells. If they were weaker, then they'd just cause your cells to become cancerous. So either way you're screwed, unless.."
"Unless what?"
"You know that hand-mirror you carry around?" Cait Sith questioned him, while Cloud went red again.
"What are you talking about, I don't carry around a hand-mirror...hahaha....ha.." Cait Sith looked at him, dis-believingly. "... Alright! Who told you?!"
"Cid did."
"What! That bastard. Anyway, what about it? It's just to see around corners.." Cloud went through his bag and pulled it out. It was a black, small thin hand mirror, the kind that open up like a book. It had a gold stripe on the front.
"Well, just place it in front of the lasers and it'll bounce off of it somewhere else, then you can slip through the gap." Cait Sith was full of ideas... Cloud did as was instructed and slid the hand mirror in one of the lasers that was at about waist-height. It ricoched off the mirror and reverted to beam at one of the corners of the room. There was enough space for Cloud to pass through, even though the instability of his hand did cause the laser to move around a bit, almost causing Cloud to scream with annoyance. Cait crawled under the bottom most laser, as he was small enough to fit through. Although Cait Sith was robotic, the gamma radiation would of caused his circuits to go ballistic, rendering him un-usable. They walked up to the toilet's electric door, even though it was locked, obviously. A small screen was at the left of the door. Cait pointed to it, and Cloud noticed that something was written on it.
言葉の壁嗅ぎ出しました、今、英語を・・・ＣＯＮＶＥＲＳＩＯＮ． PLEASE ENTER YOUR IDENTIFICATION TO PASS... ... ...
"We aren't employee's here, Cloud. Entering your name would cause a lockdown on the building, then those guards out there would shoot us dead. Try someone else's name, someone who works in the building." Cloud thought for a moment.
"I got it!" ...tap, tap, tap.... tap, tap. Then ENTER.
I.D.: AERIS G. TO CONFIRM IDENTIFICATION, PLEASE ENTER THE ANSWER TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. No. 1, MOTHER'S NAME.
"That is Elena, isn't it, Cloud?" Cait asked.
"Yes, but...that ain't her real mother's name. Oh well." tap.. tap, tap, tap..tap.
CONFIRMED. No 2. SIZE OF BRA.
"What!? What a perverted computer!" Cloud laughed.
"32B." Cait spoke out. Cloud glanced at him. "Don't ask."
"You dirty bugger.." tap, tap, tap, tap.
COMFIRMED. ENTRY ALLOWED, THANK YOU FOR USING SHIN-RA'S WASTE FACILITY.
The door slid open, and they slipped through. They entered back into the S.H.I.T. floor room, this time with no pornography magazine to help them get through.
"Oh, damn!" Cloud cried. "How are we to get past now?"
"Hmm. Those guards must of been incredibly stupid, they didn't even notice the magazine papers on the S.H.I.T." Cait wondered.
"That is surprising. If I saw Tifa, naked on the floor like they did, I'd be over there in a flash." Cloud laughed.
"I wonder what Tifa would say if she heard you say that.."
"I doubt she would care now. You know, being Shin-Ra's possessed super model."
"She will when we manage to get her back,.... you know."
Cait Sith and Cloud were sat down on the normal floor outside the toilet, trying to figure out how to pass.
"I've got it!" Cloud whispered. He stood up, not waiting for a reply from Cait and picked him up. Ignoring Cait's distress, he threw him over to the space of non-S.H.I.T. floor outside the lift.
"You bastard! What'dya do that for?!" Cait whined.
"That computer that the stupid guards used to de-activate the floor, use it and de-activate it for me to pass!"
"Oh." Cait did as he was told and pulled himself up the computer. Luckily, it was in the same vein as one of those credit card cash machine things, so there was enough space for him to crawl into to access the keyboard. He typed in a few figures and letters and the floor's light dimmed. Cloud assumed this meant it was not working anymore and ran over to where Cait was sitting. They had made it past, and Cloud was bloody glad. He hated all this bastard security systems. Now all they had to do was go up to Floor 35 and rescue the President of Shin-Ra.
31....32.....33.......34.....33.....
"What?! It's going down!" Cloud cried.
"Someone's called the elevator below, we've got to hide!"
"Where?! You stupid cat! We are in a lift!"
"Why don't you do what they do in the movies and stick to the ceiling?" It was a longshot, but they might as well try. Cloud quickly scaled the walls to the ceiling with Cait on his back and pushed himself against the ceiling. The elevator stopped at 30, and one of the stupid guards came in, carrying the nude magazine paper of Tifa. He was laughing to himself. He pushed the button for 35 and the doors closed.
When they reached Floor 34, Cloud leapt down on the guards back, much to Cait's dismay, as he landed in the corner. The guard didn't have time to scream as he hit his head hard on the doors of the elevator. He didn't die though; Cloud didn't need a murder charge. While the guard lay unconscious on the floor, Cloud picked up the nude page and shoved it in his bag.
"Is that all you can think about, Cloud?" Cait asked.
"Be quiet, come on, let's go!"
The doors to Floor 35 swung open, entering them into a long, red carpetted hallway. It was dead silent, the only noise being that of their muffled footsteps. Cait was looking outside the windows that were at the sides of the hallway; snow fell gently down outside, settling on the plate below.
"This building is so tall it reaches beyond the plate, allowing weather condition to affect it.." Cait sighed. The windows were installed with the latest in weather battling technology; when the snow hits the window a sensitive heat barrier comes on, leaving the window clear from bad visibilty by the snow.
They came upon a large, red, double set of doors at the end of the hallway. All they could hear beyond the door was Yuffie talking.
"It sounds as if she is talking to herself." Cloud whispered.
"No, you idiot. She is talking on the mobile phone..."
"How? This Floor is too high to recieve a signal. Ah, she must be talking to someone inside the building." Cloud muttered. Cait clapped his hands quietly and sarcastically. "But who?" They pressed their ears against the door.
"Yes, the photo shoot is tomorrow.." they could hear. It was defintely Yuffie. "no Tifa,.."
"Wow, Tifa is in the building!" Cloud whispered excitedly.
"You dumb bastard, you've seen her a thousand times before."
"Yes, but now she is inclined to get naked for photos..we can rescue both of them now, I guess."
"Too risky, let's get Yuffie and come back for Tifa later."
"......I don't know, the guards said it was just a rat..... don't worry, Tifa, you're in safe hands, with our security system, no one can get in! Hahaha.."
The door to her office slowly opened, and in tip-toed Cait and Cloud. Cloud quietly pulled out a hankerchief, dipped in a volatile chemical whilst Yuffie kept talking. She was not facing them, so they weren't caught. Cloud walked up to Yuffie and wrapped the hankerchief around her mouth, causing her to inhale as she tried to find the air to scream. She went down instantly, knocked out.
"Yuffie? Hellooo?" Tifa said on the other line. Cait quickly ran over to the phone and picked it up. With perfect precision, he imitated Yuffie's voice.
"Sorry, I dropped the mobile phone. It's getting late, I'm going to bed, goodnight, Tifa!" Cait said, as he clicked the phone off.
"Wow, that was a good inpersonation. Can you do Tifa as well?" Cait nodded and spoke in Tifa's voice.
"You're a stupid bastard, Cloud." he laughed.
"Wait, say something dirty while my eyes are closed.."
"What?! Piss off! Come on, we need to get out of here." Cait cried. "Pick up Yuffie and I'll contact Cid." The elevator whirred and beeped and came to a stop outside Floor 35. Unfortunetly for Cloud and Cait Sith, the stupid guard had found the unconscious guard and they were both eager to stop these intruders. "Uh oh. Those guards! They've spotted us!"
"Receiving transmission from Cait, we'd better get down there immediatly, it looks like a distress bloody signal!" Cid shouted to Barret, who was piloting the helicopter that lay suspended above the Shin-Ra building. The helicopter lowered it's height and appeared outside Floor 35's window. Cloud and Cait could be seen, Yuffie laying unconscious over Cloud's shoulder. Cid slid open the helicopter's door and let down a long rope that descended at least to Floor 24. Cloud saw the oppurtunity, and ran towards the window, Cait's hand gripped in his own. The guards shot randomly everywhere, hitting a security monitor for the men's shower room, a Shin-Ra built television and a CPR-12000 Radio. Shards of glass threw themselves out into the harsh cold winds of outside as Cloud jumped through the window. It put a massive strain on him as his grabbed the rope with one hand with Cait dangling out of the other and Yuffie's weight on his shoulder, but he managed it luckily. Cait let go of his hand and grabbed the rope for himself. The helicopter acsended, leaving nothing but a broken window and a few stupid guards to wonder what the hell just happened.
"The President has been abducted!" one of them cried.
"What are we gonna do? If our supervisor finds out about this, we are so dead!" the other one whimpered.
"Don't worry Biggs, I've got an idea. You dress up as Presidenta Yuffie and we'll continue like nothing ever happened."
"Are you insane?! You'd look better in the bloody dress, Wedge."