Author's Note: There has been a small time skip to the beginning of Albus and Scorpius's seventh year.
-SQ
Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form own, possess, or claim the rights to Harry Potter or the song "Visits to You"
Chapter Six: Visits to You
The moment Scorpius stepped through the barrier onto platform 9 ¾ he was hit by what seemed to be a brightly colored, redheaded whirlwind.
"Scorp!"
Scorpius carefully extricated himself from Lily's clutches and smiled down at the fifteen-year-old.
"Hello, Lily."
"How was your summer?" asked Lily.
Scorpius shrugged. "Same as always. Yours?"
Lily wrinkled her nose. "House was overrun with morons. I spent most of my time with Hugo."
"Morons" was Lily's term for most of Albus's friends and girlfriends and she went out of her way to make herself as different from her brother's 'in-crowd' as possible. Right now she was dressed in garish pink and orange striped tights, a black tulle skirt, a hot pink, self-bedazzled cardigan t-shirt, black fishnet elbow gloves, and clunky orange sneakers. Her red hair was held in place by a myriad of different hair clips. She wore no make-up, but there was a temporary tattoo of a butterfly on her left cheekbone. At least Scorpius hoped it was temporary.
"Is that—?"
"It's temporary," said Lily. "Unfortunately. Mum won't let me get a real one."
Scorpius shook his head. "You are one strange girl, Lily."
It was Lily's turn to shrug. "I dare to be different, that's all. Unlike them."
Lily glared in the direction of three sixth year Gryffindors. They all wore matching skin-tight tank tops in different but complimentary colors, rib-cage length denim jackets, denim mini-skirts, and high-healed pumps which matched their tank tops. All three wore their highlighted hair in high ponytails, secured with hair bands that (again) matched their tank tops. All three of them were currently engaged in flirting with Albus Potter.
"Come on, Scorp," said Lily, "let's find a compartment."
Scorpius knew what she was doing; she was trying to distract him from looking at Albus. Scorpius ignored her and turned his scrutiny on the black haired Gryffindor.
Albus was dressed in designer jeans and an over-sized (and probably over-priced) t-shirt. His hair was slicked back and a fat ring gleamed on his left middle finger. As Scorpius watched, Albus threw back his head and laughed at something one of the girls had said.
It struck Scorpius suddenly that both he and Albus had only one year left at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. One more year of study and preparation before they went...wherever they went.
Once upon a time—only last year, and yet sometimes it seemed like it was in another life—Albus had been Scorpius's boyfriend.
You wouldn't know that now, thought Scorpius wryly, not the way he flirts with all those girls. I wonder which one will be his girlfriend this month?
A lot of things about Albus had changed since they had broken up: his style of dress, the people he hung out with, the way he acted... In a lot of ways that made it easier. Scorpius could still treasure his memories of Albus without aching over the boy—well, the young man—he saw in front of him.
And who I won't see in front of me for very much longer, Scorpius realized, and the glances that he knew he wouldn't be able to keep from throwing Albus's way in the corridors suddenly took on a whole new meaning. Scorpius had thought that when they had broken up he was losing Albus from his life, but really he was still there. Scorpius saw him every day, just like he had for six years. Six years of accidental meetings, six years of brief, necessitated visits; in classrooms, in corridors, in teachers' offices, in the Great Hall. For the bad, the good, and the neutral, six years of Albus Potter as a constant in his life.
I have this year and then that's it... thought Scorpius, no more Albus. Probably ever. I have no idea what he plans to do with his life, and the world is a hell of a lot bigger than Hogwarts.
Scorpius didn't even know how he felt about Albus anymore, but he knew that every memory of him was important, every time he saw him meant something, though he didn't know quite what. Because one of those memories, one of those moments, would eventually be the last, and he probably wouldn't even know it was until after the fact. And Scorpius had been close enough to losing everything to know that he wanted to lose nothing.
"Oi! Earth to Scorpius! Let's go find a compartment before they're all full!" Lily was tapping her foot impatiently. "What do you want to waste time looking at those morons for anyway? It kills brain cells."
Scorpius glanced once more at Albus, adding the image to his mental scrapbook, and then allowed Lily to drag him off to the train.
*****LA*****
It had taken Scorpius a little bit of time to find his feet after he and Albus had split, but now he had a nice group of Slytherin friends, and he was really rather proud of the fact. It was nothing like Albus's network of popularity, but Scorpius didn't want that kind of notoriety anyway; he had never quite gotten over the idea that the center of attention was inherently a bad place to be. Scorpius and his friends took most of the same classes, studied together, and got drunk together on the weekends. And he trusted them. No, they didn't have heart-felt discussions of their feelings (they were Slytherins for Merlin's sake) but they knew they had each other's backs. That was enough.
There were four in the group, not including Scorpius: Kevin Goldstein, Haley Davis, Fletcher Higgs, and Tatiana Carrow.
"Scorpius, mate," said Fletcher as the five of them sat down in the Slytherin common room and hauled out their Charms books. "What you need is a boyfriend."
Scorpius raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. "Are you offering yourself for the job?"
"No way, man!" said Fletcher hurriedly. "This stud is one hundred percent female friendly. But I know there are a couple blokes in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff who have been eying you."
"Well I'm here if they're interested. What's stopping them?"
"You are!" said Haley.
"Me?"
"Yes you. You're always so...aloof, you're scaring them off. Don't you want to get some?"
"Well I wouldn't be opposed to it," said Scorpius carefully.
"Then act a little more inviting, courting you's like courting an iceberg," said Tatiana.
"I'm a Malfoy, we're not exactly known for being warm and cuddly."
"True," admitted Kevin, "but it wouldn't hurt you to turn down the ice factor a notch or two."
"I'll think about it," said Scorpius.
*****LA*****
Scorpius did think about it. If nothing else, he was curious who these "blokes" were who were supposedly eying him. In the Great Hall the next evening he glanced around to see whether he could catch anyone looking at him. As his eyes passed over the Hufflepuff table a sixth year boy near the end caught his eye. He was a bit scruffy-looking, but in a sexy way: messy black hair, tanned skin, a bit of stubble. Yum. The boy's blue-green eyes widened as he realized Scorpius was looking at him. Scorpius tilted his head questioningly. Color rose to the Hufflepuff's cheeks, but he didn't look away.
Scorpius went back to his dinner, but when he left the Great Hall half an hour later, the Hufflepuff was waiting for him in the entrance hall.
"You were looking at me during dinner," said the Hufflepuff without preamble.
"I believe you were looking at me first," Scorpius pointed out.
The Hufflepuff nodded his head in acquiescence. Scorpius waited. He tried to give off an air of expectant superiority, but really he was just baffled about how to proceed. After all, the way he had gotten together with Albus hadn't been exactly your run-of-the-mill procedure.
The Hufflepuff's face broke into a smile. "You don't know how to do this, do you?"
Damnit.
"Well, no, not exactly," said Scorpius.
The Hufflepuff's smile widened. "I guess it's up to me then. Would you like to go on a date sometime?"
Scorpius considered it. He was rather surprised when he found that the answer was yes.
"Yes," said Scorpius, "I would."
Now the Hufflepuff was positively beaming. "Great. I'm Dean by the way, Dean Summerby. How does Friday evening sound?"
Scorpius smiled slowly back at him. "That sounds perfect. I can introduce you to the weekend, Slytherin style.
*****LA*****
Friday evening after dinner Dean accompanied Scorpius back to the Slytherin common room.
"Man, this is cool." he said, turning his head left and right to look around at the dungeon passages. "It's like a trippy maze. How do you Slytherins ever memorize how to get around here without getting lost?"
Scorpius chuckled, remembering the first time he had brought Albus down here. He had been so worried about Albus getting lost on his way back, until Albus had pulled out his magical map of Hogwarts and proven to Scorpius that he really didn't need help figuring out how to get anywhere.
Dean waved a hand in front of Scorpius's face. "Scorpius? Hello?"
"Oh, sorry," said Scorpius. "I was just...what were you saying?"
"How do you Slytherins find your way through all these dungeon passageways?"
Scorpius smirked a Slytherin smirk. It felt fake. "Trade secret."
"Fine, have it your way," said Dean, pouting adorably.
"Here we are," said Scorpius as they arrived at the entrance to the Slytherin common room. "I'm going to say the password, plug your ears."
Dean pouted some more, but complied.
Scorpius spoke in a low voice. "Superiority."
Dean uncovered his ears and the two of them stepped into the Slytherin common room. Dean stared around wide-eyed.
"This is the first time I've been in another house's common room," he said. "It's cool, but I wouldn't want to live here."
Scorpius shrugged. "You don't have to."
He scanned the room and soon found his group of friends in a circle of chairs close to the fire.
"Hey," said Haley, "who's the hunk?"
"Dean Summerby," said Scorpius. "My date."
All four of his friends' eyebrows shot up.
"Scorpius has a date?"
"I am capable of having a date," said Scorpius with a touch of annoyance.
"Maybe he'll be less hormonal now that he has an outlet," said Tatiana.
Scorpius ignored her.
Fletcher reached into his bag and pulled out two full bottles of rum, a bottle of sparking water, and some bottles of flavoring. "First round, anyone?"
Scorpius readily accepted the drink Fletcher mixed for him and immediately began to feel the tension slide out of him. Ah... he glanced over at Dean, who was sampling his own drink, and raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"Mmm," said Dean. "Very...interesting."
"A Fletcher Higgs original," said Fletcher proudly.
Two drinks later, Scorpius was sitting in a green armchair, Dean in his lap, hands clumsily unbuttoning the Hufflepuff's shirt.
"Mmmm," slurred Scorpius, "you smell good..."
Dean stiffened in surprise for a moment as Scorpius pressed his face into his chest and inhaled deeply, but then he laced his fingers through Scorpius's hair and arched against him.
"He's a lot more friendly with a few drinks in him, isn't he?" said Kevin, winking at Dean.
"Most definitely," said Dean as Scorpius's fingers played with the waistband of his jeans.
Scorpius ordered his brain off as pressed his chest against Dean's. Don't think, just feel. Scorpius thought too much, his friends always told him so. "You overthink things, Scorpius. Stop thinking so much, Scorpius. Save thinking for the classroom, Scorpius." It was a lot easier not to think with a few drinks in him. He could just enjoy the sensation of Dean's chest pressed into his, the strained material of the crotch of Dean's jeans under his fingers. Don't think, feel.
*****LA*****
Scorpius and Dean didn't go all the way that first night, but it wasn't too long before they did. It was the Hufflepuff's first time, and it was Scorpius's first time with anyone besides Albus. He didn't let himself think about that though. He didn't let himself think about anything. The only thing Scorpius was conscious of was the heat of Dean's bare skin against his own, the softness of Dean's lips, and the hot, slick, wetness as he slid himself inside of the other boy. And the best part was, if he didn't think, it could be anyone's body underneath him, anyone's black hair clutched in his fingers, anyone's piercing greenish eyes staring into his own...
Fuck dogs, sex and booze are a man's best friend.
*****LA*****
Scorpius had every single class with Albus. Of course he did, when they had chosen their N.E.W.T. courses at the end of their fifth year they had still been dating.
Scorpius watched Albus flip open his Transfiguration book just exactly the way he had hundreds of times before and wondered just how many more times he would see him flip open his Transfiguration book in exactly that manner.
He watched Albus cut up ginger root, a common Potions ingredient, and wondered if this time was just another time, or if it would be the last time he would see Albus do that.
He watched Albus enter the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom with a strange sense of deja vu. Scorpius had been here so many times before, but would he ever be in this exact situation again? Each day the chances grew slimmer. Vaguely Scorpius wondered where Albus would be going once he left school. Scorpius knew that eventually his memories of his schooldays would fade and meld together, and his memories of Albus with them. Now each individual instance was still fresh in his mind, but that wouldn't always be the case; he wanted it to last as long as possible.
*****LA*****
Scorpius ran a hand through his long blond hair as he watched Albus making out showily with his latest arm candy in the corridor; a skinny brunette who stuffed her bra and wore too much make-up. He and Albus had kissed in this very corridor. It might not have been as fun to watch as the current exhibition, but it had sure been fun to do. Though Scorpius had to admit they were both probably much better kissers now than they had been back then, and Albus better than him, since he'd kissed more people. It didn't bother Scorpius to see Albus kissing someone else. He kissed a new girl practically every other week; it didn't seem any more meaningful to Scorpius than a kiss in a play. Besides, Albus of the present interested him only in the ways that he reminded him of Albus of the past, and in the idea that Scorpius's time in which they were present in each other's lives was limited. It was a great thing, really, being able to feel only what you allowed yourself to feel.
Lily came down the corridor.
"Ugh, revolting," she said loudly enough that the snogging couple was sure to have heard.
Scorpius chuckled. "I dunno. It's kind of hot, actually."
Lily made a face. "Please, Scorp, I just ate lunch."
"What about you, Lils?" asked Scorpius. "Don't you ever want a boyfriend?"
"Not any of the idiots at this school," said Lily.
Scorpius shook his head. "You might like it if you just tried it, Lily."
"I don't want to 'just try it', Scorp," said Lily, becoming serious. "I don't want to have a boyfriend just to have a boyfriend. When I date someone I want it to be because I really truly like him, and he really truly likes me. That's what a relationship should be about. Not just snogging or sex or popularity. It should be about love, and trust, and understanding."
Scorpius shifted. That kind of sentiment made him uncomfortable.
Scorpius looked back over at Albus. The past didn't matter, and the future wasn't important; this was about living for right now. That's all anyone could do, right? After all, Scorpius couldn't change what had happened between him and Albus Potter, and he knew for a fact that he would never completely forget about the other boy for as long as he lived; he wasn't sure if he completely wanted to. No one really knew how long anything lasted in this world, Scorpius had come close enough to dying to know that. All he could do was make the most of what he had at that moment, and make himself believe that that was enough.
****Song Lyrics****
Visits to you are suddenly new
and suddenly everything's sacred
I've been here before, will I be here again?
Please tell me you'll never be taken.
Is this another time, or is this the last time?
How much more time?
When will time take away my visits to you?
Living with this, holding your hand
knowing I'll have to let go soon.
Living right now, right now, and right now.
knowing I'll soon be without you.
Is this another time, or is this the last time?
How much more time?
When will time take away my visits?
And when you go where you're going,
where will you be going?
I know I'll keep going on my visits to you.
Is this another time, or is this the last time?
How much more time?
When will time take away my visits...
Is this another time, or is this the last time?
How much more time?
When will time take away
When will time take away
When will time take away my visits to you?
AN: The real story behind this song is that it is about Anthony Rapp's mother dying. I don't want to belittle that by using it in the way I use it here, but I'm using all and only songs on this album. And it does work.
-SQ