A/N: Hey guys! Chapter eight already...wowza! :D Ok, so I've had some stupid arsed problems the last couple of days with fanfiction, I couldn't log on so I couldn't update or reply to your reviews, sorry for those of you who didn't get one, I just assumed that you would rather I start work on the next chapter!! But that doesn't change the fact that I am very, very thankful to you all. Once again, without you there would be no fast updates, no drama and most likely, no stoy whatsoever. You guys keep me going and your reviews mean a lot to me! YOU ARE ALL COMPLTELY AWESOME! :D
All Just A Lie.
Chapter Eight: Eyes Of Blue.
"Hey Mitchie, it's Caitlyn. How are you? Can you please come and see me, please." Mitchie held her phone to her ear as the message played out, a small dose of warmth flooding through her as she heard Caitlyn's voice. "I would come and see you….but I can't…." Mitchie furrowed her eyebrows, what did she mean by that? "…I know you're having a tough time at the moment, Mitch. But you're my best friend, and I need you. Just please come to my apartment, I'm begging you…."
There was another pause as Caitlyn sighed. Mitchie felt a tinge of sadness wash over her and how different Caitlyn sounded, her tone was sad, lifeless. "If you don't, when this is all over I will hunt you down and kick your butt." And then the message ended, Mitchie couldn't help but laugh a little as the old Caitlyn battled it's way through whatever mournful emotion she had been feeling.
Mitchie listened to the voicemail again, trying to analyse every hidden message within her words, trying to read between the lines. Something definitely wasn't right.
Mitchie put the phone into her pocket, her eyes falling upon the knife that she had set beside her as soon as she had arrived home from Shane's. She had just stared at it, eyes wide as they washed over every inch of the shining, silver blade. It had acted as a release the first time, that she couldn't deny. The pain it caused her accompanied the emotional pain that tore through her heart, it was different, and it had succeeded in something Mitchie needed the most....forgetting Shane.
She had come so close to convincing herself it was a brilliant plan. Convinced herself that death would be the only escape from her hurting. Death would bring silence, peace, tranquillity. She wouldn't have to suffer any longer.
She wouldn't have to watch them on her television, she wouldn't have the image of them kissing dancing around her mind. She would be free. Free of it all. Free of the agony, the heart ache, the regret and the hate.
She could be Mitchie again.
Her hand had hovered oh so hesitantly, over the knife when her phone had begun to ring. Vibrations shooting through her body as her phone signaled a call. She had ignored it, like she always did, he finger skimming over the blade. The ringing stopped as she narrowed her eyes, her lips pursed as she readied herself to lift the blade, and once again, bring it down upon herself.
But then her phone beeped again, informing Mitchie of a voicemail. She wasn't sure what made her do it. But Mitchie let her grip slide for the knife and pull out her phone, listening to the message that she received.
She didn't know why she had done it. Maybe, subconsciously, she knew that she didn't want to end her life. She knew she wasn't the person to self-harm. Maybe that was exactly what she wanted, a reason to stay alive. Her best friend needed her. She needed to talk to her. And if Mitchie knew Caitlyn as well as she thought she did, she was certain something was wrong. Caitlyn's usual chirpy demeanor hadn't been present until the last sentence.
So Mitchie, for the second time that day left the knife stranded in her kitchen. Reminding herself that if she so truly and desperatly needed it, the knife would still be there when she returned.
Caitlyn ran an agitated hand through her thick locks as she sighed. Her eyes fixated upon her phone, which lay upon her coffee table. Why wouldn't Mitchie return her calls?
Nate has recently finished explaining the entire situation to her, well the situation, as he knew it. He informed her of the break-up, informed her of Shane's new girlfriend, and of Mitchie's arrival at Shane's apartment.
Caitlyn had sat wide-eyed for a while after that, her heart beating wildly, as she was lost in thoughts of her friend. What was she doing to herself? Why was she doing it to herself?
Nate had sat silently, as he watched Caitlyn, his hand gripping tightly onto her own as her eyes filled with tears. She blinked them back almost instantly, but the glazed over look continued to occupy her features.
"I have to go see her." Caitlyn declared suddenly, leaping up from her seat and turning to face a stunned Nate. "Look after Julie for a little while." Caitlyn ordered as she snapped her body around and headed for the door.
"No you're not." Nate challenged, rising up and grabbing her arm, stopping her from moving any further.
"Nate, let me go." Caitlyn said warningly as she tried to pull her arm from his grip, but he refused to oblige. "Nate!" She exclaimed abruptly as she turned to face him, finally wrenching herself from his clutches.
"What? I'm not letting you go, what if Alex is out there?" Nate told her, fear clasping his throat.
"I don't care, I need to see if she's ok!" Caitlyn told him, her eyes filled with sadness. "I can't just sit here."
"You have to, for your sister…for me." Nate whispered, cupping her cheek with his warm, soothing hand. She sighed, looking up at him with her large, brown eyes.
"I know." She breathed, wrapping her arms around him. "It's just tough."
"I know it is." Nate whispered into her ear, kissing the top of her head and breathing in her familiar scent. A scent that calmed him slightly and reminded him that she was safe and in alive arms…for now.
Suddenly there was a loud, hurried knock upon the door, causing the couple to break away, fear in their eyes as they looked from each other to the door that was being pounded upon.
Caitlyn took a deep breath as she stepped forward, arm outstretched. But Nate had other ideas, he leapt forward, wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling Caitlyn behind him with ease. He pushed her back, making sure she was protected entirely with his own body before he whisked the door open.
He gasped.
"Nate?" Mitchie whispered, staring at the clearly shocked boy. She smiled at him timidly, before her eyes flew over his shoulder, connecting with the hesitant Caitlyn whose fearful features tried to look through the open door.
Mitchie's smile grew slightly as she ducked under Nate's arm and rushed towards her friend, engulfing her in a hug. Caitlyn laughed, wrapping her own arms around her.
"I've missed you, Caity." Mitchie whispered, with a small, almost inaudible laugh.
"Me too." Caitlyn replied, before pulling away, keeping her hands on Mitchie's forearms. "Are you ok?" She asked, her eyes turning serious. Mitchie seemed to ingore this, turning her head towards Nate.
"Are you two….back together?" She asked her voice wavering. Nate nodded a blush and a smile spreading across his face. Mitchie beamed half-heartedly pleased for her friends, yet at the same time she felt jealousy rise up within her, envious of their happiness.
"But what about…." Mitchie turned to Caitlyn, her words drowning themselves out as her eyes fell upon her stomach.
"Sit down, I'll tell you everything." Caitlyn said with a roll of his eyes. Nate smiled at the pair before disappearing into the kitchen.
Mitchie stayed utterly silent, her breaths short and slow as she hung onto every word that protruded for Caitlyn's quivering lips. She listened about Julie, about Alex, her heart clenching fiercely for her best friends well being.
"Oh my god." Mitchie whispered once Caitlyn had finished talking. She swallowed back her tears, wrapping her arms around her friend once more, holding her tightly and not wanting to let go.
"It's ok, Mitch." Caitlyn said soothingly, before pulling away.
"Have you phoned the police?" Mitchie questioned.
"We can't." Caitlyn said, looking down at her hands that rubbed over one another nervously.
"What!? Why not?" Mitchie gasped, her eyes threatening to bulge from her head completely.
"Because Alex has men everywhere Mitch, he's not messing around. One call to the wrong person could let him know where Julie is." Caitlyn whispered, tears twinkling in her eyes, but once again she shook them away. "The only way we can call them is if…"
"He's already here." Mitchie finished off slowly, her eyes closing as she realized the full extent of the situation.
"Yeah." Caitlyn concluded, there was a short silence that engulfed the pair, both thinking of how this could end. "The worst part is that I don't even know what he looks like….how am I supposed to see him coming?" Caitlyn muttered struggling to keep her voice from sounding panicked.
"Doesn't your sister have a photo of him or something?" Mitchie asked desperate to say something that would help her friend.
"No, she left so quickly she didn't have a chance to bring anything." Caitlyn replied sorrowfully. "He's brunette and he has a scar above his right eye, medium build, quite tall." She continued, clearly reciting information Julie had passed onto her, information she had obviously been obsessing over. The pair sat in silence for a few moments, before Caitlyn raised her head.
"How are you, Mitch…and tell me the truth." Mitchie looked down, licking her lips slightly.
"I'm fine." She said, looking up with a beaming smile. A beaming smile that Caitlyn saw straight through, she raised one eyebrow pointedly.
"Mitch." She said warningly, crossing her arms over her chest.
"What? I'm being honest, I'm great." Mitchie lied, trying her best to keep the smile on her face, and trying her best to make it realistic.
"Mitchie!" Caitlyn groaned, shaking her head with a large sigh.
"I'm happy. I broke up with him remember!" Mitchie retorted, repeating Nates words, and shocking herself for it. She refrained a gasp as fresh pain rolled through her.
"Yes, I know that. But Nate told me what you said yesterday, you're clearly still in love with him, Mitch." Caitlyn said tenderly, her eyes wide with sympathy.
"No, I'm not." Mitchie scoffed, but her voice shaking with imminent tears. "I went round to see if we could still be friends." Mitchie hissed, Caitlyn merely pressed her lips into a hard line, clearly not convinced.
"What are you doing to yourself, Mitchie?" Caitlyn asked, sighing once again, she seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
"What….what do you mean?" Mitchie stammered, slyly pulling the sleeve of her jacket down.
"Why are you lying to me, to yourself?" Caitlyn said with a disapproving and slightly hurt look.
"I'm not lying! I'm happy, I have someone else now." Mitchie hissed before she could even contemplate what she was saying.
"Yeah, and who is this guy?" Caitlyn pressed. Mitchie mentally cursed herself.
"Erm…His names is- is Dean." Mitchie finally managed to spit out, ignoring Caitlyn's glares from her narrowed eyes.
"Really?" She drew out skeptically.
"Yes, now Caity, can we please stop talking about this?" Mitchie pleaded.
"Fine." Caitlyn surrendered. "But only if you tell me one thing?" Mitchie nodded, unsure. "Do you still love him?" She questioned, her gaze piercing. Mitchie groaned slightly, choking back tears.
Tell her the truth. Tell her everything. Stop lying! Mitchie shouted at herself.
"No, for gods sake Caitlyn, please just leave it!" Mitchie hissed. "I'm with Dean, he's with Ruby. Everyone's happy." She added, unable to hide the strain in her voice, or the tears that sprung to view in her eyes.
"I hate seeing you like this." Caitlyn moaned, taking Mitchie's hand in hers. Mitchie looked down, swallowing quietly as she prayed Caitlyn would leave the topic of Shane for another time. "When did our lives get so complicated?" Caitlyn sighed again, twisting Mitchie's hand around in her own. A loud gasp escaping her lips, Mitchie jumping dramatically as it did.
"Oh my gosh, Mitchie!" Caitlyn screeched as she wrenched her elbowMitchie's sleeve up towards , exposing her wounded wrist.
Caitlyn's eyes widened, one agaMitchie froze for a moment as in. She didn't know what to do, her blood began to pump furiously throughout her body. Her head threatening to explode from the heated pressure. After a while Mitchie tugged her arm from Caitlyn's terrified grasp, pulling her sleeve down bitterly.
"I should go." She whispered, her mind telling her to dig herself out of the situation with some more detailed lies, but she couldn't the marks spoke for themselves.
"Mitchie?" Caitlyn whispered, rising slowly as Mitchie did the same. "Why?" Was all she could get out, her voice broken.
"You wouldn't understand." She spat angrily, furious that she had been found out.
"Then help me to. You can't do this to yourself." Caitlyn near-shouted. "You think this is what Shane would want you to do?" Caitlyn added in a hoarse whisper, wincing as she knew she would touch a raw nerve within Mitchie.
"I'm pretty sure he wouldn't care." Mitchie shouted, causing Nate to reappear. "I could probably kill myself and he wouldn't even bat an eyelid."
"Don't be so stupid, of course he would." Caitlyn retorted. "You have to stop." Caitlyn pleaded, stepping closer to her and ignoring Nate's silent questions.
"Just stay out of it ok." Mitchie told her, more tears making their way down her face.
"So you think this….this is the right answer?" Caitlyn questioned maniacally, raising Mitchie's wrist up to her face. Nate's face dropping as she did.
"It may not be the right answer…" Mitchie started, pulling her wrist away from Caitlyn and straightening her jacket. "But it's the only one I've got." And with that she confidently pulled open the door, striding from the room.
Caitlyn squeaked her name before she dived for the door herself, but once again, Nate's arms entwined around her waist, pulling her into him. This time Caitlyn didn't struggle and pressed her face defiantly into his chest, the core of her body shaking with revelations and sheer horror.
"It's ok." Nate whispered to her, his hand stroking her back tenderly as he clutched her even tighter.
"No, no it's not. I have to do something." Caitlyn declared as she untangled herself from Nate's protective clutches.
"What can you do?" Nate asked a little exasperated as he looked at Caitlyn's crest-fallen face. "I am not letting you go out there." Nate emphasized warningly. Caitlyn grimaced as she fidgeted on the spot before she dove for her phone, dialing in the correct numbers and holding it viciously to her ear.
"What are you…" But she held up a hand to silence him.
"Hey Cait." A downhearted Shane answered, Caitlyn was taken aback slightly by his soft, vulnerable tone.
"Shane, I need your help." She finally uttered confidently.
"Ok, what is it? Are you ok?" Shane asked, a little edge of panic in his words.
"Yeah, I'm fine…it's Mitchie." Caitlyn said after a long pause. There was silence after that. She could only hear Shane's slow, unsteady breaths. "Shane, she needs your help."
"And why exactly?" Shane snapped bitterly.
"Shes….shes in a really bad place right now Shane, she needs you." Caitlyn told him softly.
"She doesn't need me. She broke up with me, she has someone else for that now." Shane choked out.
"No, Shane you don't understand." Caitlyn pleaded, holding the phone a little tighter to her hear, closing her eyes as she prayed he would listen to her words. "She's still in love with you."
More silence.
This time, she couldn't even hear breathing.
"Did she tell you that?" He whispered after a while, Caitlyn straining to pick up the words.
"Well, not in so many words, but it's obvious." Shane growled slightly at this.
"Look, Shane, please just go and see her. She's hurting herself." Caitlyn blurted out.
"Is she still with this other guy?" Shane questioned, his words sharp and hateful.
"….I…erm…"
"Just tell me the truth, Lyn." Shane said with a sigh.
"I think so." She finally concurred.
"Then it's not my job anymore." And then he put the phone down. Caitlyn opened her eyes in defeat, quivering slightly as she realized there was nothing else she could do. She felt Nate's hand dust over her shoulder but she recoiled, disappearing into the bathroom, letting herself to succumb to the tears she no longer wanted Nate to see.
Shane slumped himself onto his chair, throwing his phone to the floor in disgust. Why did his friends have to do this to him? Couldn't they see he was already in enough pain without them hiring him to fix Mitchie's problems?
Shane clawed one shaking hand through his unstyled hair, groaning as he did, Caitlyn's words echoing tauntingly through his head.
'She's hurting herself.'
What had she meant by that?
Emotionally?
Or, god forbid, physically?
Shane's mind quickly rushed back to the hours previous when she had covered her wrist, whisking it behind her back. Only minutes later she had fainted in his apartment.
Shane's breath caught in his throat.
Was she self-harming?
Shane's heart began to pump viciously against his rib cage, his whole body tingling with agony and dread.
Or was he merely reading too far into this?
Still, he had to do something. What if she took it too far?
Shane leapt up from his seat, striding to the front door. And then he stopped.
She didn't want him anymore.
She was with someone else.
It wasn't his job to keep her safe and protect her now. He was no longer her knight in shining armor. He was nothing to her now. Just an ex-boyfriend.
Shane sunk back down into his chair. His mind nodding along with this choice, going to see her would only cause additional agony for him. Additional agony that he didn't think he was strong enough to cope with.
His heart however screamed painfully at him, ordering him to see her, ordering him to make sure she was ok.
But, unfortunately for all involved, his mind overpowered him.
Mitchie stormed through the corridors her fists clenched tightly and her knuckles dusted with white as fury coursed through her. Fury dosed with untamable humiliation. She felt sick, ashamed and stupid. She ground her teeth together as she bit back tears, desperate to turn back time and disallow that moment from happening again.
How could she have been so foolish?
Mitchie closed her eyes as a bitter wind hit her face, causing her fingers to curl tighter around themselves, her fingernails piercing into her hand. Her wrist was throbbing, continuously beating with a repetitive pain, reminding Mitchie of her actions and how they were no longer secret.
"Oof." Mitchie couldn't help the noise that spilt from her lips as she felt something collide with a shoulder, a person, she quickly realized as she span around to apologize.
But no words formed in her mouth as she studied the eyes that looked down on her. They were a dazzling blue, a piercing, hypnotic color that Mitchie couldn't help but stare at, her mouth falling upon slightly.
"Sorry." She heard the man tell her, his voice rough, yet addicting. Mitchie looked up, a small smile dancing over her lips.
"Not at all." She whispered, her eyes once again falling upon his bright blue ones.
"Do I know you?" The handsome man asked her. Mitchie didn't answer, unable to pull herself away from those mesmerizing pupils.
Mitchie opened her mouth to answer, as she tried to place his face within her mind, surely if she had met him before, she would remember him? But before she could even form her answer her eyes fell upon the large scar that decorated the skin above the stranger's right eyes. Mitchie bit her tongue, desperate to stop the shock, fear and recognition flittering across her face.
Alex.
"Are you Caitlyn Gellar?" The hoarse voice questioned.
And she answered before she could stop herself.
"Yes."
A/N: Okay, I hate that chapter so much. Ha ha, it's one of those chapters thats important but completely sucks. Sorry about that. But if you could still review that would be awesome!! Ha ha, even if it is to tell me "Do you know what, that chapter did suck."
Hopefully you'll be blinded by the drama and yet another cliff hanger....sorry about that as well.
Oh and on a final note I would like to say a special thankyou to Shippo7777, who over the past few days as gone through nearly all of my stories and given long, detailed and just amazing reviews!! Thankyou so much!!
Anyway, I'll stop talking now and leave you to your day. Please review :) You know you want to! :D
Love you all.
Emma. x