Second chapter... I hope this story turns out well!! Don't forget to review!!! I had this new idea. Each chapter will have a dedicated song and the chapter name will be based on that song. The first chapter was based on Impossible by Kelly Clarkson.

Bella's POV

Edward definitely wasn't stupid. In fact we'd been the first pair to finish the project, without cheating. He swiveled his seat to face me. I let my hair fall as a curtain between once again. I felt a gentle hand pull the hair back, tucking the tresses behind my ear.

"I wish you would try to hide your beautiful face." I stared at Edward in astonishment. He was perhaps the first person at school to have spoken to me in months. Most people felt ashamed to have been caught looking at me and here this Greek god was telling me I was beautiful. I blushed scarlet, again.

"I'm not beautiful." I whispered, looking directly at Edward, trying to make my point clear. And the silliest thing was that for a moment there I actually believed him. He opened his mouth to say something when the bell rang. Saved by the bell, how cliche. I drop my books into my bag and gave Edward the tiniest smile I could manage before darting out of the classroom. I was suprising myself more and more. Since meeting Edward till now, I'd blushed twice and even managed a smile. That was more than I'd ever done.

I had lunch alone again. I enjoyed the silence and peace. And this way I could observe anyone in the cafeteria without any suspisions. I could already spot Edward mingling with the jocks and cheerleaders, who were practically throwing themselves at the new kid. And Edward, he seemed to glow in the attention. He was dazzling and mesmerizing; I could take my eyes off of him. He was different and interesting. Lauren Mallory (hey, I may ignore everyone, but I do notice things and know names) planted a large, wet kiss on his lips. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

I didn't feel anything. Nothing. No jealousy, no envy, no resentment, no nothing.

Was that normal?

Was I normal?

Who cared? And strangely, I did.

I wanted the attention. Yet I only craved one person's - Edward. And I couldn't even begin to comprehend why.

The more rational part of me tried to persuade the crazy side of me to take things slowly, bit by bit easing myself in to the spotlight. And then just as suddenly as I wanted the attention, I shied away from it. The walls I built in my mind refused to be smashed down. I'd left too many of my emotions in my mind, never letting them out.

No, I'm not going to get myself in any kind of attention. That was my rational mind working.

But you want the attention... Don't you? The crazy side of my brain answered.

I finally decided to do nothing. The walls I'd built were too strong and I couldn't handle pulling them down, leaving myself exposed to the world. I didn't want to feel, ever again.

How could you feel without getting hurt?

How could you love without getting hurt?

How could you envy without getting hurt?

You can't. You never can.

The lunch bell rang. An hour passed so easily when you were arguing with your own mind.

I had American History next. What a boring class. I trudged unwillingly towards room 201. Sauntering down the hall, I spotted Edward leaning against Tanya Denali. They were in an intense lip-locking session. Huh. First Lauren then Tanya.

And like the first time I felt nothing. That's a lie. I did feel something, but it wasn't anger, or frustration, or envy. It was pure and simple: fear. I felt fear. I didn't know if I could take it if my heart broke again. Or even if I could even open my heart.

And what really surprised me was that I was afraid of Edward Cullen. The boy who spoke to me as if there were nothing wrong with me and nothing embarrassing in the actions. The boy who tenderly tucked my hair behind my ear and called me beautiful. The boy who was beautiful and spent most of his time surrounded by beautiful girls. And the boy who was currently still kissing Tanya Denali.

Would he break me, if I opened up?

First off, why would he even pick me? I just plain, old Jane.

I scoffed at myself and my stupid thoughts, continuing to hurry past Edward and Tanya. I barely managed to slip into the classroom before the bell rang. I daydreamed about Edward during class... Actually, I daydreamed about him for the rest of the afternoon.

When school ended, I drove to the bookstore and got ready for work. Suzy, the manager, was really nice. She treated me like her daughter. She was one of the only people I felt natural around. She didn't make me feel ugly, or strange, or simply out of place.

When I entered the room, she greeted me with such warmth that I couldn't help but smile back. I usually just said hi and started working, doing my best to get away from the warmth. If she noticed anything was different today, she didn't comment on it.

I loved to read. Just being surrounded by books makes me feel lighter, freer. Often Suzy let me borrow books, knowing that I would return them the next day. I was organizing the new books that Suzy had order when I heard a voice. A voice I didn't think I wanted to hear. A voice that I didn't think would speak to me ever again. Especially after my my parents death and my reaction.

Alice.

"Bella?" Her high tinkling soprano reached my ears and I knew she saw me. Often when I spotted her coming into the bookstore, I would hide - I could never face her. I turned unwillingly.

"It is you!" It surpised me how happy she sounded.

"Did you need help with finding a book?" I offered, speaking in a monotone. Alice's face fell. She rapidly recovered herself and asked,

"What's this I hear about you and Edward Cullen, the new student?" I looked at her, not completely understanding her question.

"Gossip says that there's something going on between you two." I looked at Alice. And I finally realized I really wanted this friend back and Rosalie and Emmett and Jasper, their boyfriends. More than ever.

"Come over, and I'll explain everything." I declared. Alice looked stunned.

"Now?"

"Yes... I don't think Suzy will mind. Let me go ask." I hurried over to where Suzy was sorting the money.

"Suzy? Can I leave early today? I'll work an extra shift tomorrow instead." I inquired. She looked up.

"Why?" And then she spotted Alice. I smile slowly spread across her face.

"Of course you may. I can manage. Go on."

"Thank you so much!" Alice jumped up and down squealing loudly.

"Let's go Bella!" She looked more excited than me. And here I was, on the verge of regret - what did I think I was doing, inviting her to my place?

"Okay..." I muttered, mentally cursing myself.

I drove my truck and she her Porsche. She arrived minutes ahead of me, with her maniac driving.

We were sitting in the living room. And I had bared my soul to her.

"Bella, you have to stay strong. Renee and Charlie would've wanted you to be happy. No more of this. You're a smart and beautiful girl who should have tons of friends and lots of happiness. You deserve it." Alice announced.

"I don't know..."

"Why are you hesitating? Do you want to be alone for the rest of you life?"

"No, I don't. But I don't know it I can take it. I've spent such a long time hiding, pushing my emotions back. I don't know if I can take all the emotions at once. When you spoke to me in the bookstore, I wanted you back as my best friend. I missed those times. But when Suzy said I could take off early, I suddenly felt this regret. Why did I even offer to speak to you? I couldn't even understand what I was doing. And during Biology, when Edward made me blush for the first time in months, I actually felt happy. And I felt as if there were hope for me. And I realized something. I liked Edward. More than I should. But when I saw him lip-locking with Lauren then Tanya, I felt nothing. No jealously, no nothing. I was emotionless. My emotions are unstable, and I know it. I can't control myself. One minute I'm happy and the next I'm jealous or sad. There something wrong with me, and I know if I let my emotions reign over me, there will be many problems. I can't let myself loose. My heart and my mind would fall to pieces. I am simply incapable of controlling myself."

I took at deep breath. I couldn't believe I admitted all that to Alice. She may have been mybest friend, but still.... I haven't spoken that much since... Well, you know since what. Even Alice looked shocked and nothing seemed like a shock to Alice... usually, at least.

"Bella... I'm - I don't even know what to say. You haven't said so much to me in months. You must think I'm crazy for saying this, but I'm so happy for you!" Then she threw her arms around me, tears of happiness streaming down her face. I hesitantly lifted my arms up and embraced her back.

When she drew back, she looked at me straight in the eyes.

"Bella, I want you to stay away from Edward. He's a playboy. You give him your heart and he stomps on it like trash. Please? For me? Just stay away from him." Alice was desperate. "And from now on, you're sitting with me at lunch. Never by yourself again. Got it?"

"Yes. Got it. And I'll stay away from Edward." I promised. I knew how fragile I was. If he was like how Alice described him then I'd be staying far away from him. I couldn't risk anything. Not right now.

"Oh, Bella do you want to come over for dinner tonight?" asked Alice. I shook my head. Too much attention in one night.

"Okay, that's fine." Alice tried to brush it off casually.

"I'm sorry Alice. Just too much in one day. Maybe next time."

"That's cool! I'll see you at school tomorrow then." I nodded.

"Bye!"

"Bye Bella."

I shut the door and smiled. An actual, genuine smile. And I meant it. I was happy.

Suddenly without a warning, tears flowed freely down my face. I was happy and I was crying.

I just felt so overwhelmed. What I had told Alice was true. My emotions weren't steady. Too much attention would make me crazy.

I didn't even want dinner anymore. I simply walked upstairs and fell onto my bed, hoping for some blissful oblivion.

And blissful oblivion was what I got.

With in a blink of an eye, it was already lunch. I remember what Alice had said yesterday. I stood, clutching my tray, deciding where to sit. I looked at Alice's table and my usual one. Finally I chickened out and sat at my usual table. I dug my fork into the caesar salad and started eating.

"Bella!" Alice's voice scared me half to death. I jumped at least half a foot from my seat. I turned around unwillingly.

"Bella, you sitting with us! Come on!"

"Alice, can I not? I don't think I'm ready." Alice simply rolled her eyes at me.

"Come on Bella." She gripped my elbow in her small hands and dragged me over to where Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett were sitting. They were engrossed in an intense conversation.

"Alice," I whispered, "I want to go back."

"Bella..." she whined. My body was half turned towards my usual seat, ready to bolt at any sign of unwelcome. Luckily they still didn't seem to notice us standing there. Alice cleared her throat loudly. I looked away, grimacing.

"Bella?"

So how is it?? Do you like it? Reviews please!! Thanks!!! This chapter was based on Not Ready to Make Nice by Dixie Chicks.

Darkicyvampire