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Chaos liked to show off his four-arms, horns and otherwise demonic appearance, so he went to his warriors personally. He was gonna regret it?
I
"I, Garland, will knock you down!" – the fallen knight raised his humongous (bigger than Cloud's) sword
"It's me. Chaos." – said the God.
"Didn't I turn into Chaos?"
"I'm a little different type of Chaos. You will go with me and help conquer the universe."
"So that I will create a time loop!" – said Garland cueing his evil laugh…
"…" – Chaos blinked in confusion, - "Time loop? What for?"
"Ask me that when we meet in this place 5 minutes before…"
X
It's Jecht!
"Hey, what are you expecting me to do? I all ready got here in the previous chapter. Go look at some bishounen. I'm not doing anything until I get a drink and the chicks arrive!"
II
Mateus Palamecia (aka THE EMPEROR!) was sitting on his throne. He just finished his usual routine as ruler and was thinking of turning to his many hobbies, like good music, poisoning wells, shopping, foreign conquest, gardening, summoning demons and other things.
Suddenly Chaos' portal of darkness started appearing in the middle of his throne room.
"Oh wait. I wasn't planning on summoning any demons right now." – said the Emperor closing the portal.
V
Chaos appeared to get info and maybe burn a village or few.
"I am Chaos! I am looking for the evil Exdeath to summon him into my army to conquer the universe!"
"Oh, you mean the tree?"
"…" – Chaos scratched his head, - "Sorry, looks like I mistook worlds. I'm looking for the Warlock…"
VI
Chaos was told to schedule an appointment and avoid Light of Judgment as we waits. Kefka was playing with his dolls as usual.
"How does this Kefka look like?"
He was shown a picture…
First a tree and now a clown? I really know how to pick em'…
X
It's JECHT!
"OK I got my drinks, but I still don't see the chicks! Why are you even focusing on me when I'm already here since chapter 1? Oh just give em what they want…"
VII
"And who the hell might you be, arrogant fool?" – said Sephiroth not even turning around to greet the god. That's just how badass he was.
"I am Chaos!"
"Vincent Valentine's Limit break no.4? You just don't get who you're messing with!"
"No I am THE Chaos! God of Discord! I want you for my army of destruction!"
"Well, I'm a god myself! Tell you what, I'll go…" – he pointed his legendary Masamune at Chaos, - "but only if you beat me…"
"You want to fight?" – asked the god.
"Yes. Cue the choir …"
Noli manere, manere in memoria!
Noli manere, manere in memoria!
Sephiroth, Sephiroth!
VIII
Ultimecia castle. The time is somewhere around 69:VIII um. The Sorceress is having tea and listening to Liberi Fatali…
Portal of Darkness appears outside the Castle…
"Now this is definitely an overlord's castle…" – Chaos overlooks the bizarre, yet beautiful architecture, - "Now to find the Sorceress…"
Chaos began walking to the sound of music, but he got lost in the Castle's endless turns and décor…
IX
"I agree to thy generous offer!" – said Kuja.
That was quick. – thought Chaos, but he had to ask, - "Why do you agree so quickly?"
"You are talking to me, instead of that insane buffoon Necron… However I have one, no, two conditions…" – said Kuja while gracefully waving his hand.
"Sorry, Jun Fukuyama is already Onion Knight's voice…"
"Damn!" – said Kuja, being really pissed the he can't sound like the proper magnificent bastard.
"What's the second condition?" – asked Chaos.
"I keep my wardrobe the way it is!"
II
The Emperor was viewing his collection of scepters. He had them for all occasions, Hell Emperor, Light Emperor, he had them all…
The portal of darkness opened once again…
"Oh, blast, my powers must be becoming a little dull. I did not wish to summon demons form hell right now…" – the emperor closed the portal, - "Now to the water poisoning…"
VIII
Chaos decided to give the castle another shot. This time he actually found the right direction to go and even caught a glimpse of the Sorceress' hot figure. But before he could say anything, something bit his second left hand.
"Thousand bloody devils!" – cursed Chaos
But Griever didn't answer him. Guard lions don't talk. They bite.
V
Exdeath was walking around, looking for whoever mentioned his name. But the description of 'a devilish guy with 4 arms' made it easy to pinpoint Chaos
"I heard there was someone looking for Exdeath the Warlock?"
"Oh bug off, human, I'm looking for a tree…"
VI
"What's that?"
Kefka looked into the corner of his room, one of his favorite toys (his Joker doll) was nearly falling into a crack. Kefka started waltzing to that side of his room while falling into Chaos' portal.
I don't even want to hear this guy's conditions…
IV
"So why should I join you?" – said the new captain of the red wings Golbez.
"For starters, you'll have a chance at settling old scores with your respective hero." – said the bored Chaos.
"Well, I was close to learning my lesson. And I think I had this terrific redemption near the end…. And Cecil is my brother."
"Sure… But you die at the end."
"It's ambiguous. Maybe I make it." – countered Golbez
"There's some sort of a sequel in which you die again… Now let's go, cause I have other stuff to do…" – the God was tired. He didn't think that villains would be so difficult.
"I'll think about it…" – said Golbez thinking…
"Choose. The Darkness and your awesome black armor or the Light and a kilt."
"OK, but I'll get some unique fighting style…"
"Done… Now let's go…"
II
The emperor was tending to the flowers in his garden. He did have lots and lots of hobbies.
Suddenly, the door opened and Chaos walked in on his own two feet…
"How do I do it?" – Mateus' sighed, - "Listen demon, I didn't summon you, so I'll just open this portal and would you please…"
"I summoned myself! I am Chaos and quit opening those portals here and there. I'm here to recruit you into my alliance of world's greatest…"
"Emperors are not recruited. They…just rule." – said Palamecia, - "Now, if you don't mind…" – he pointed in the direction of the portal with his staff.
"Maybe there's something you want, but even you don't have? I can give you that…" – said Chaos with his make-a-deal-with-the-devil tone.
"Hm… How about Jun Fukuyama as my seiyu. I so like how he does the 'evil emperor'…" – said Mateus
"Well…" – Chaos walked closer to him, - "No… Some other guy took it. But I'll give you the chance to kill him and take it from him…"
"Well… I so hate to fight personally…"
Chaos grabbed him with all his four arms and jumped into the portal…
III
Chaos barely found his dark portal in the surrounding darkness. He was looking for the Cloud of Darkness
"I am Chaos…"
"I am the Cloud of Darkness…"
"I am the God of Discord and I wish to bring discord to the universe!"
"Since I have awoken, I've simply been longing for despair!"
"I wish to defeat the Goddess of Harmony Cosmos and control everything."
"And I wish to reduce everything to nothing…"
VII
Saevam iram, iram et dolorem
Saevam iram, iram et dolorem
Sephiroth, Sephiroth
"Do you wish to fight Cloud once more, instead of fighting me?" – said Chaos jumping off a sliced in half mountain.
"I do that all the time. I'll do that even without your help…" – said Sephy while getting ready to wreak more havoc…
"Maybe I should get Gack…Genesis instead of you…" – said Chaos flying up into the sky…
"What did you say." – now Sephy was mad…
V
"Hey, Chaos! I am Exdeath! I'm ready to go now…" – said the blue fella.
"Finally. Should've known the peasant was lying. You are human!"
"Well actually, I'm a tree…" – said Exdeath.
"…"
VIII
Griever was thrown a large slab of meat and let Chaos walk through to his master. Ultimecia was laying down on a luxurious couch, reading an accessory catalogue.
"Sorceress Ultimecia?" – said Chaos.
"Who else? And you are?" – said the time witch without lifting her head…
"Chaos, God of Discord."
"OK, Chaos…" – she lift her head looking at him, glowing with pride, - "So aren't you impressed?"
"Nice Castle though I did get lost…" – said Chaos.
"No, not the castle…" – said Ulty a bit irritated.
"Oh, yes, impressive ultimate GF… I wish I had one…"
"No, not him. Didn't you notice something new about me?" – said the woman raising a brow.
"… *sigh* you're dress is ultimately hot and sexy… No I'm here to…" – villains always want something…
"Thanks. I hear that all the time, but it's something above that. How can you not notice that I said Chaos instead of Khaos? I stopped overusing 'K'" – declared Ultimecia and began to laugh…
"Sure. I want you to join my forces of Chaos…" – said the god.
"Sure. Everyone wants a sorceress in their squad. I'm sure you know the usual deal?"
"Huh? What is that?" – wondered the God.
"Designer costume for my entrée, opening speech at the ceremony and a parade in my honor…"
"You'll get an alternative costume to boot… Now you in or not?" – he was so tired that he agreed to anything he heard.
"Oh I suppose I could go…"
"But first, I want us to do a detour…"
I
"I, Garland, will knock you down!"
"I heard that already! But now I'm here 5 minutes before I came to you last time…." – laughed Chaos.
"Time Loop…" – Garland winked at Chaos, proud of himself…
"Can we go now already…" – said Ultimecia, - "I know I'm a Sorceress of Time and all, but this 8-bit environment is so clashing with my dress…"
VII
Ferum terribile, terribile fatum
Noli manere, manare in memoria
Noli manere, manare in memoria
Sephiroth, Sephiroth
"Let's go Sephiroth… I already have almost everyone else except you…" – Chaos was flying away from the swordsman.
"I agree, I agree… Now swing that sword of yours like your life depends on it…"
"I don't have a sword and if you agree, than why are we still here?"
"I'm waiting for the theme-song to end…"
"Thousand bloody devils!" – cursed Chaos.
III
"I look like the Devil! Humanity's traditional view on all evil!"
"I am a naked woman with a body to kill for. The very beginning of sin!"
"I have 4 arms to manifest my overarching grasp over the world!"
"I have two serpent mouths to show my poisonous nature!"
"OK! I admit that you are the most sinister being to ever exist in any universe! Do you want to go now?"
"Sure." – said the woman.
"What? You don't even have any requests?" – there was no limit to Chaos' surprise
"Not really." – said the Cloud.
"You don't have some condition, without which you won't join me?"
"Nope."
"None at all…"
"Well if you insist… Can I have a different skin color. Green really isn't my fav…"
Me and my big mouth
VII
Mi fili, veni, veni, veni, mi fili
Qui mortem invitavis
Mi fili, veni, veni, veni, mi fili
Poena funesta natus
Mi fili, veni, veni, veni, mi fili
Noli nomen vocare
Mi fili, veni, veni, veni, mi fili
Ille iterum veniet
Sephiroth, Sephiroth
"There it ended! Now stop trying to hit me…" – Chaos stopped and started opening the portal.
Sephiroth closed in and chopped off one of Chaos' 4 arms.
"What the hell was that for?! You said you'd stop when the music ends!" – screamed Chaos taking a defensive position.
"Actually there's more to it…" – said the silver-haired swordsman, raising his finger.
Sephiroth
"Great. Now we can get going…" – said Sephy moving his sword away from Chaos, - "Or maybe you wanna hear the remix or "Those Chosen by the Planet"?"
"I'm sticking to "Cosmo Canyon" from now on…" – said the God.
- - -
Whoo. So ends chapter 2. Chapter 3 will be the heroes' lounging bar…
And remember, authors love reviews…