Disclaimer: You know the drill. I don't own it and never will.
(Did I just make that rhyme? xD)
C H A P T E R 1 1- 3 DAYS WAITING
Stars. Pretty diamonds embedded in the night sky. Tonight I counted 9.
It had been 3 days that since Natsume's mission has passed. Each day I'd look at the gates, expecting them to open any time soon. Each day I'd seek Ruka-pyon, only to be greeted by a disheartening reply as he uttered it with downcast eyes.
"I'm sorry, Mikan," he'd say every single day, with face that resembled the pitiful expressions of the neighbours who had told me that Natsume had already left the neighbourhood three years ago. Of course, I'd hope, just like the hopeful, persistent person I was.
But then again, who said there was something wrong with hoping? Hope is like thin thread. It can easily break, and it may break, but fact is, it's still there. You've just got to learn to live with it. Natsume probably still wanted me around. All the reasons for acting cold, because he thought I'd forgotten him. He probably thought I didn't care.
Today was different. At least, I believed it to be. Each new day was different, and today was when I'd check the gates and keep my ears open for any news. Some people said it was pointless. Some people couldn't understand why I even care. Some people even say that it won't make a difference. And I? I knew myself better than anyone at school even did. Each piece of news, no matter how small, made the biggest difference. News or no news, I was prepared.
"Mikan, you're not sleeping yet?" yawned Sumire.
"I'm not sleepy," I protested.
"Why do you always go to the library?"
"'Cause I get a better view of the gates," I said, then brought my finger over my lips to silence her. I tilted my head slightly in each side to see in case someone heard us.
"We're supposed to be in bed at this time," she said, then muttered something like "Why did I even listen to you?"
"Shhh. Yeah, I know. Just a little bit more, okay? He could be coming any time."
"Exactly. You can't be awake 24/7, you know. You need to rest. And so do I. You do realize we've been standing here for two hours, right?"
"Two hours? It just felt like 30 minutes. I guess time really flies."
"30 minutes? Two hours felt like five."
"Just a little bit more, please," I said, quietly.
"A little bit more? That's what you said an hour ago. The only reason I allowed it was because there was still an hour left before lights-out. Now the lights really are totally out."
"Relax. What do you think I brought the flashlights for?" I said coolly.
"Oh, you mean this? I think you forgot that mine's not working," she said, rolling her eyes. The flashlight I gave her was broken; its light flickered before it went off.
"Who's the fan girl now?" she said.
"I'm not a fan girl," I retorted.
"Sshhh," she silenced me.
"I'm just a worry-filled, immensely guilty ex-friend."
"Ex-friend? After all that, he's your ex-friend?" she said incredulously. I started explaining everything to her before, yet she didn't seem to get the issue. She didn't seem to think that there was a problem at all, just a slight misunderstanding. Misunderstanding? That was an understatement.
"Hey, don't start giving comments out yet. I say ex not because I'm an ex-friend, I just don't think he deserves me as a friend."
"You don't think he deserves you so you're here waiting for him?"
"I want to apologize," I said, and clasped my mouth, quickly after, realizing that I had been too loud. I heart shuffling of feet, but then it stopped.
"No one's coming," Sumire finally said confidently after a while. "I guess security sucks around here."
I sat back down, resting my back on the brick wall, and bringing my head down to my knees, rocking back and forth.
"Are you okay, Mikan?" Sumire asked, voice filled with concern.
"He's not coming back yet, is he?" I asked softly.
"Of course he'll be back. What do you think he's special star for? You shouldn't be so worried. I'm just sure he will. Besides, why are you so anxious about his return?"
"Because I can't take it. Do you know how guilty I've been feeling? Do you honestly know how it
feels when someone loathes you? When they think you've forgotten about them and you haven't got the chance to explain? And what if they don't return?" I said in one breath, without stopping.
"Mikan, relax. To say he loathes you is overstating things. Natsume has been through many missions, and he always returns."
"I know. I just... I just really want to see him again," I sobbed.
"Mikan-"
"Okay, okay, I'm coming back," I finally said.
BOOM
"Hotaru-"
"That's 3 days now," she stated as if it were a great debt.
"I'm so-"
"You're paying for the wasted food."
"But-"
"You're making up for the wasted time," she continued.
"Fine," I said, pouting.
"I told you he wouldn't come," she said matter-of-factly.
I looked away.
"I told you I don't want to come to that dinner party thing," I explained. Two days ago, Hotaru made me volunteer to do some preparations for a little celebration to some visitors on. Supposedly, we were to have dinner to discuss who will be assigned with a task, but I sneaked out because it wasn't really a meeting and people were just talking- and Natsume could have been returning at that time.
"It's not a party, but that's beside the point. You were invited. It would've been polite at least to come."
"Sorry," I apologized. No need to add any more guilt. Suddenly, a new thought occurred to me. "Hotaru, how did you know I was here?" I asked in curiosity. She could've looked anywhere else, but she chose the library – the least likely place I'd go to-- to look for me...
"Simple. This side of the academy from the point of the gates, have the least trees that block the view," she replied.
I smiled. Hotaru knew. She understood. I didn't need to have any explanations; I didn't have to tell her what I have been doing the past few days. My best friend had an uncanny way of just knowing things. I guess she wasn't just my best friend for nothing.
"Next week," she said without another word. Hotaru and her payment deadlines.
"I'm grouped with her?" Luna said incredulously, yet so reasonably. She could thrash a whole classroom and nobody would hate her for it. Well, outwardly, at least.
It wasn't entirely a pleasant situation for me, either. Who would find it great when you've got a group partner who detests you? I knew I shouldn't have sat near her. It was all trouble.
I haven't seen much of Luna lately, that I almost forgot the extent of the malice she held for me. Her neatly done hairstyle and manicured nails emphasized how much of a perfectionist she was, appearance-wise.
"Is there a problem with that?" Narumi sensei asked.
"No," she replied gruffly.
"So the worksheet..." I began.
"I'm not discussing anything with you," she paused, looking at me. "Why was someone as plain as you made Natsume-kun's partner anyway?"
Funny. I've been asking the same question myself. Not that doing any questioning is helping.
"I'm not doing this," she whined, flipping both sides of the worksheet, seeing how much work we had to do. It was only 2 pages, so I didn't exactly get what she had to complain about.
"This is everything we've learnt in class already," I reasoned. Why I even tried, I don't know. Any attempts to make Luna do work would be futile.
"I don't care," she muttered. Putting all forms of aversion aside, I got started. If she thought the whole world would wait for her, whyshould I?
"I imagine you liked being president, trying to get attention and getting close to Natsume-kun and all. What a shame the crown was handed to Shouda-san."
"It was never my intention to get close to Natsume, and contrary to what you might think, I don't want to become president of that fan club. Sumire deserves president position, anyway."
She looked at me, eyes disbelieving.
"As if. Anyone would want to be get close Natsume-kun!" she exclaimed. "And I should be president. Sumire just interfered," she bitterly spat.
I laughed.
"If I knew any better, that just spelt out 'I was defeated and I hate it'."
She glared at me in response.
By the time the lesson ended, as a group and as I already expected, we had done absolutely nothing. Individually, I finished what I had to do for myself. All she did was two questions, but then again, I would question where she was during class time if she hadn't.
The only thing that probably resulted in the lesson was her even more intense dislike for me, that I had managed to take one lesson with her without being bothered at all by being in the same group.
I went to the canteen in haste. I wanted to finish eating and return to the library. Unfortunately for me, the academy's canteen was packed today, and the line didn't seem to get any shorter.
"I'm not ordering anything. Can you move?" I heard an angry voice say.
"Mikan," Sumire said breathlessly. "Finally, I found you."
"What happened?" I asked, curious. It looked like she ran all the way to find me.
"He's back."
There was no more questioning, no more discussion or small talk. It was like drop-everything-and-go. No more words were said; I abandoned dinner altogether and just ran- which was easier said than done when you're running on a seemingly endless spiral staircase, as if there was nothing more important than to reach the destination in the shortest time possible.
"Can I talk to-"
"Popcorn, Sakura-san?" Koko asked cheerfully.
"No, thank you. Tell him I came here to discuss, not to watch a movie."
He laughed.
"You need a break, you know. Sumire told me you've been checking the window of the library everyday."
I groaned.
"Thanks so much for rubbing that one in," I replied sarcastically, and turned to give Sumire a pointed look.
"He's resting. He just came from his mission."
"What, I'm not allowed to talk to him?" I asked, disappointment filling my voice.
"It"s not that you're not allowed to talk to him… But if you value your life, I suggest you don't."
"If I value my life? What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, frowning.
"If you really want to know, then go in. But then again, since it's you..." He just shook his head.
I shrugged and turned to open the door.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded. He was sitting down in the couch, and he put his manga down on the table.
"No more 'Polka'? Or how about a nice 'get out of here'?" I asked sarcastically.
"If you don't like it here, then leave," he said brusquely.
"No, I didn't mean that... What?"
"I had no idea you liked that nickname. Don't worry, I won't forget that," he smirked.
Urgh.. How could I miss this? How could I miss his teasing, annoying jerk? Did I just wait for him for days? Right this moment, I would gladly rewind time.
"You really like teasing me don't you? I can't believe this. I waited for you each day in that cramped library, and here you are, doing what you always do, and then you-"
I honestly don't know what came up to him, but after all the confusion and misunderstanding, I found myself wrapped in a painful embrace.
"Idiot. I don't need a crying person just after my mission."
It was then that I realized that I had been crying. Traitor tears had fallen.
"It was three days!" I cried out.
"Exactly. You're acting as if it was 3 years or something."
Well, it had been three years. I knew deep inside that I wasn't depressed over the three days. All the sadness, the guilt and the hurt, it wasn't just 3 days, a week or even a month- it was piled up misery in three years.
"You've been checking the library?" he asked, eyebrows raised.
"Uh... Yeah," I admitted, flushed.
"I knew it. The moment I heard the place, I knew there was something wrong."
Something... wrong?
"What are you implying?"
"Simply that you're not the type to go on libraries."
It was then that my stomach decided to rumble. I just skipped dinner. Of course.
"Haven't you eaten?"
"Uh.. No. I've heard that you came back, so..."
He suddenly took my hand unexpectedly, and headed towards the door.
"Where are you bringing me?"
He stopped and looked back.
"I thought you were hungry."
"I am."
- but I remembered exactly why I waited. Why I've been crying that he might never come back. I had to apologize- and thank him.
"Natsume- I- About the incident last week..."
"You're welcome," he said dryly.
-And he walked away, dragging me off to some restaurant, wearing that annoying smirk on his face. Cocky guy.
I was just about to apologize and he completely blew off my penitent mood. Right.
I definitely didn't miss him.
Chapter 11 finished. Around mid-June will be busy, though, but I'll try my best to update soon. ^^