Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

C H A P T E R 13- A LITTLE TOO CRYPTIC

Exam time was over.

Now it was results time. The feeling was not pleasant. It never was.

The deep sinking feeling and pessimism that lingered just before I nervously took a look at my paper was the worst. The way my stomach churned and I didn't want to open my eyes... I hated that feeling. I hated thinking that I knew the result, when what I had felt was only an assumption; a guess.

Countless of times I'd covered my paper as soon as I received it, feeling sure that I'd fail it when I flipped it. 99% of the time, however, I had been proven wrong. I didn't know what my fears were, but all the same, it was never a pleasant event for me. I studied, but result time usually scared the hell out of me. I believed I'd fail and get so bad that I'll end up getting expelled.

"Mikan, it's only one look," Koko said yet again.

"No!" I objected vehemently, covering my work protectively.

"She thinks she'd fail. There was one time when she didn't check it for a whole 3 days," Hotaru muttered from behind.

"Speaking of 3 days, that would be the number of days Sumire hasn't talked to us. She still moping?" I said with a frown. "I can't believe she still doesn't want to talk," I said, slowly sliding my paper in my exercise book.

"Nice try. I still want a look of that paper," Koko said slowly.

"I think I saw a number 2 in there. Mikan, I don't think you'd be capable of failing this. You really studied for that test," Koko said persistently.

I shook my head fiercely. "I'm sure I must have messed up that Multiple choice bit. I think I did well with that writing part, but I think I got section 1 all wrong."

"Natsume, can't you convince her she didn't fail?" Koko called out, asking for help. No. Don't call Natsume. Don't.

My eyes were closed and my fingers were crossed.

Don't. Come. Near. Me.

"I don' know. I'm not even sure this idiot could even pass," Natsume responded with a smirk.

"Hey, you were supposed to be helping me," Koko groaned in defeat.

My rage exploded.

"I'm capable of passing!" I argued, and without a single second of hesitation, I flipped to check my result quickly. "See, Natsume? I got a 25 out of 30! I got... I- I passed," I cried in relief. Koko looked back and forth at Natsume and me.

"That was all? We've been trying to get you to check your mark, and all we had to do was tell you that you can't pass?" Koko said incredulously.

It probably wasn't the statement itself. It was more of how and who said it.

I've been avoiding Natsume lately, in hope that it would appease Sumire even for just a little bit, but she never said anything. Of course, it wasn't like avoiding Natsume was a good plan. Somehow I'd always find myself next to him the next day, either getting teased at or apologizing. Quite obviously, today was not the latter.

"OK, bye, I need to go, uh, do homework!" I said, thinking of the first excuse that came in mind.

"But we didn't get any homework," Koko said. My cheeks flushed.

"No, I meant advanced studying," I made up.

"We don't have any tests coming soon," Natsume said. Uh-oh. I was busted. It was no use to even try to deny. He gave me a piercing glare that screamed "Are you avoiding me?"

My panicked eyes must have given everything away, for as soon as I left the room (I was running for my life), he was following me. I ran, but he caught up.

"Wait," Natsume said, holding my arm tightly.

"Let go, Natsume," I said, wary. I looked left and right, hoping Sumire wasn't around to see this. Best not to look at him directly in the eyes. My heart gave a little jump again, when I thought the weird feeling would stop the past few days. It didn't. I heaved a sigh.

Okay, so maybe I did like him. A little. Kind of. Wait- what am I even thinking? This was Natsume I was talking about. Natsume, my friend. I didn't like him. I didn't? I don't. Heck, what does like even mean?

"What's wrong?" he asked, holding my chin up gently. For a minute, it startled me.

"Nothing," I lied, pulling his hand away.

"I don't believe that." Did he always have to know what was going on?

"And why not?" I challenged.

"Well, for one thing, you're not looking at me directly in the eyes."

He even observed that, too.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked angrily.

"It matters, because it makes me think that you're avoiding me on purpose."

I swallowed nervously.

"I'm not avoiding you."

My fingers were crossed behind my back. Stupid, stupid lie.

"You're doing a terrible job of it then," he snickered.

"I'm not avoiding you!" I reiterated, annoyed.

"Prove it."

"P-prove it?" I stuttered.

"2:00pm tomorrow at Central Town," he said in one breath. He left me speechless and astounded.

Huh?

He didn't just ask me out, did he? Because I couldn't. It was a form of betrayal to my friend. I hurt her once, but it wasn't like I did that all on purpose. Now that I know about Sumire's feelings? No, it wasn't okay.

"Natsume asked you out? He never asks anyone out," Koko said, reading my mind.

I just can't understand why he's making a big deal out of all this. Or why he's even reading my mind at all.

"Can you stop that?" I said, annoyed.
"Are you going?" Hotaru asked, interested.

"Well, he left."

"But you sound like you don't plan to," Hotaru observed.

"How could I? The last thing I need would be finding Sumire at my doorstep, saying-"

BANG

A fierce expression and an irate face faced me.

"Are you going out on a date with Natsume?" she said, glaringly.

This was exactly what I feared. How had she known, exactly?

"Sumire-"

"I was there. I saw. Mikan, I trusted you," she said, hurt showing in her face.

This was just unbelievable. I already avoided Natsume like the plague, I would've reluctantly refused the invitation had Natsume stayed any longer, and I've even put up with everything, expecting Sumire to finally calm down and talk to me.

"Maybe I don't want a friend who blames me for something I'm feeling. I can't help it, Sumire," I said. Thankfully, my voice didn't crack.

Her eyes widened as if I made such a sudden admission.

"You... like him too... I knew it," once again, she left the room in awkward silence, and left me feeling empty; like I did something terribly erroneous.

"What just happened?" Koko asked, shattering the silence.

"What happened, is that my friend hates me. She won't even talk to me now," I said, upset.

I vacillated between going and not going, but then, I came anyway, although I couldn't say I was in a good mood.

"You're shaking," Natsume acutely observed. Well, wasn't that obvious.

"I'm mad!" I suppressed a yell.

He snorted. "I had no idea there were still people who use that word."

"What's wrong with 'mad'?" I demanded. Mad was a perfectly harmless word.

"Nothing you have to lose sleep over," he murmured.

Nothing? But there was something. Too childish? Too... I don't know, mild? I couldn't help it if this was how I was. Everyone else seemed to blame me for things I had no control of, lately.

"I'm just- sick of everything," I said, standing up, ready to leave. I suppose I really wanted him to stop me, although it was a ridiculous thought. No, I wanted to leave. Really.

But no matter how much I tried to convince myself, I wasn't sure I really wanted to.

"Wait," he said, holding my hand. It was as if a jolt of electricity shot through between us. I immediately withdrew my hand.

"I've already been waiting for three years. I think I've done enough of that."

We weren't talking about the present anymore, and what was I waiting for, really?

"Can't you just- quieten down a little?" he said, a little too brusquely. The way he said it made it sound like a direct order. I guess I wasn't trying to suppress the tone of my voice anymore. It wasn't fair. I had been through a stressful week.

Let me see. I was still confused about my feelings, my friend now hates me, and I faced a guy who I swear I never usually get along with. I would've tripped the next person who'd order me not to vent.

"No," I argued stubbornly.

"Obviously not."

Wait a second- I said so myself- I was with the guy I never got along with. I was pretty sure he didn't feel anything about me but irritation.

"You don't like me," I stated abruptly. It wasn't a question. It may even be an understatement. "You hate me," I corrected.

He turned to me, at first confused, and then back to that unreadable mask he so often carried.
"Idiot. Didn't you learn anything in these 3 years?"

"What should I have learnt then, Natsume? Enlighten me."

"I don't hate you," he said, sounding offended. "Maybe you shouldn't start making assumptions either. Who knows that trouble an idiot like you could stumble on to."

It could've been a joke, but he sounded dead serious.

"Don't lecture me, Natsume. You don't know what it felt like to think that you didn't care. It… It hurt. It hurt because it felt as if you forgotten all about me. When every single damn day since you've left, I've been waiting for a letter, and slept behind the telephone waiting for it to ring. It hurt because when you saw me for the first time in a long time, I thought you'd recognize me. But you didn't."

Suddenly I felt the strange urge to blurt it all out. It was a ton of feelings that swelled and swelled, until I felt the need to say all of it. I already did once, and I accepted it was all my fault. Still, I didn't get a chance to have a good confrontation since then. I refused to cry. I promised myself I wouldn't. Not in front of Natsume. I refused to even let the tears touch my cheeks. I tried to-and quite admirably resolute, I might add- put as much effort into not crying. In fact, I almost felt grateful that I didn't feel the wetness or felt tears trickle down.

"How would you know that?" he hissed.

"I didn't! Because you didn't even talk to me! How am I supposed to understand you, Natsume?"

"I recognized you back then," Natsume said after a pause.

"What do you think I should have done? Set up welcome banners or give you a hug? You know I do neither of those." The intensity of his gaze sent me shivers down the spine. For the first time in years, I was at a complete loss at what to do.

It was clear what those eyes said, too: I'm got going to change. Well so what? Neither was I.

I swear I slammed the door so hard that I thought its hinges would break. I wanted to cry now, but I decided I wouldn't, until I was safely back in the comfort of my room.

Koko, who I had no idea, been listening, teased, "Natsume gone a little too cryptic for you?"

I have mixed feelings about this chapter, actually. Anyway, I'm just happy that it's the holidays, although I don't know if that means more update or less. Give me more school work and there's less writing time, give me more free time, and I might just waste it.

Anyway, enjoy the chapter. =)