Written on 13 and 15.07.09
Ok, I stalled for long enough. I guess I have to pull out another chapter. This is more difficult, than it initially seemed…
And I haven't given the baddies some screentime in a while… so.
And if you want me to update quicker – review it!
Chaotic Confusion: Armor, Capes and Floating…
00
Chaos decided he needed a break after gathering all these spoony villains and left them in the meeting hall.
The Chaos side had a meeting hall just like Cosmos' except it was all black. AND DARK!
IV
It would be funny if it were a different color. Evil always goes with dark colors.
"If only it were easier to find my way in this pitch-black hall…" – said Golbez as he floated into a wall for the 3rd time now.
"4th time's the charm…" – he moved forward and bumped into something…
X
"Hey, watch where you're goin'! I nearly spilled my beer!"
IV
"Sorry, it's hard to see in this suit or armor… I am Golbez. The wizard, clad in black."
X
"And I'm the mutha-fuckin' Jecht!"
IV
"I was looking for the place where evil gathers… But evil is too dark to have a brightly lighted pathway, I suppose. Somewhat symbolic to…"
X
"Yeah-yeah… Well, Vader, the bar is that way. And we all know evil gathers near the booze…" – Jecht pointed the way for his fellow evildoer.
Golbez nodded in thanks and started floating in that direction.
"Where are the damn chicks? It's been a bit too long, hasn't it?
VI
"When did it become so dark, I can barely see where I'm stepping… Or my feet at that matter… I don't remember having such a dark room…"
Kefka was hopping around (that's what he did in-game) in the dark .Until he bumped into a certain someone…
VII
"Who the hell are you, clown?" – Sephiroth was not pleased…
VI
"How rude! At least say "psychopathic, mass murdering, schizophrenic clown with zero empathy"
VII
"That's referring to someone else? Someone better than you."
Ahh… what do I care? Sephy started to walk further, ignoring the clown
VI
But the clown decided to answer anyway…
"I am Kefka Palazzo. The best villain to ever grace Final Fantasy…"
VII
"You did NOT just say that." – Sephiroth turned around, glaring at his fellow final boss… - "I am the best villain of FF!"
II
The Emperor was floating by and swinging his scepter, when he nearly bumped into a fellow floating magician..
"Watch where you're floating…"
IV
"Sorry, I didn't think I was floating into someone…"
IX
"You watch where YOU'RE floating!"
III
"Actually, you floated into me…
II
"It was dark and…
III
"Prepare to face despair." – particle beam focusing 3%
IV
"I didn't think so many were able to just float with magic power…"
IX
"I can also glide… Oh and I also have these magic balls…"
VIII
"With that thong you're wearing. It's in plain sight." - Has he no fashion taste whatsoever?
IX
"I meant these magical orbs, you hag…Oh and nice horns!" – Has she no fashion sense whatsoever?
VIvsVII
"I'm the best villain. I am Sephiroth. I'm the One-winged Angel!"
"One-winged? You can't fly with one wing! I have 6 wings!"
"Why you? I have 7 in Safer Sephiroth form!"
"So it takes 7 wings to hold an oaf like that in the air?"
"Does it take only 6 o support that ego?"
IIvsIII
Particle beam focused 36%
"Any last words, floater boy."
"Emperor Mateus Palamecia!"
"Pretty shabby for someone's last words!"
X
"Ah hell it is dark here, I can't see any of the ladies…"
He saw a familiar figure, armor, horns… It's Golbez again…
"Golbez I thought you went through here already. What's wrong? Can't see at all through that small crack in the helm? I said the bar is…"
"Who are you?"
"Jecht! You sure got a short memory, Golbez…"
"I am Exdeath."
"Wha…? I'd recognize that helmet anywhere… You're the wizard, clad in black, right?"
"I'm the warlock tree…"
"Tree? I think I need to lay of the booze…"
VIIIvsIX
"So, when did you start dressing as a girl, little boy?"
"When did you start dressing like you desperately need to get laid?
VIvsVII
"My attacks are so mercilessly beautiful… Light of Judgment, Forsaken…"
"My Supernova takes out the whole solar system…"
IIvsIII
"Now, listen, I was merely floating and minding my own business. I didn't think I'd bump into someone other than me… who also floats…"
"Particle beam 80%"
VIvsVII
"And I have Heartless Angel!"
"I also have Heartless Angel…"
The villains try to stare each other down….
"I destroyed and ruled the half-destroyed world!"
"I killed one flower girl from the slums!"
"That's not much to brag about..."
"And made fans all over the world cry!"
X
Jecht got to the bar, where he saw the familiar armored figure…
"Hey, Golbez. Get this, I mixed you up with a guy. His helmet is totally like yours. And he's a frigin' TREE! Man, of all the things… a tree. Whoo…"
"That's all very interesting, but I'm not Golbez."
"What the fuck. Armor, horns, cape…"
"Yes, but I'm Garland…"
"You're not a tree too, now are you?"
"No. I'm a knight… With a time-loop!"
VIIIvsIX
"Fag!"
"Slut!"
IIvsIII
Particle beam 103%
"Wow… Nice snake minions you have there. I also summon demons to do my biddings…"
"Oh really?" – Cloud of Darkness' snakes started to jump around a bit, being praised for once.
"Yeah really. And I didn't mean to bump into you…"
"Fine. I suppose you didn't do it on purpose…"
"So can you stop focusing that beam on me?"
"No. Once it's focused - I fire it. It's a principle of beings who wish to reduce worlds to nothingness."
X
"Hey, Golbez. Of all the dumb things. I mistook you with a tree, and then some kind of time-loopy knight. So how are the drinks?"
"Nice… But why are you calling me Golbez? My name is Gabranth."
"Not Again…
VIvsVII
"My theme, Dancing Mad is teh coolest evar!"
"Oh no you didn't… Cue the choir. Let's go with the remix this time…"
Noli manere, manere in memoria
Noli manere, manere in memoria
Sephiroth, Sephiroth
00
"Thousand bloody devils!" – Chaos jumped merely hearing that music again.
I can't have them going out and slaughtering each other before the battles even begin…
Chaos appeared near VI and VII and started trying to calm them down…
IIvsIII
Particle beam 113%
"Well that makes sense, I too believe in high standards… 2 part battles, speeches and UBOARs in the end. But could you at least fire that particle beam not at me?"
"Where then?" – CoD cracked a brow at the Emperor.
"Well, I don't know. At someone else, who has it coming…"
X
Screw capes, screw armor, screw horns on helmets. I'm gonna go find the chicks.
"Whoa, finally found ya, hey ladies. Jecht here. What's wrong, having a fight…"
VIII
"Ha-ha-ha! He just confused you with a girl…"
IX
"Screw you!"
IX, X
"Confused who with a girl?" – he didn't get to see Kuja upfront.
But Kuja turned around lookin pissed.
IV
"No Jecht, It's a trap!"
X
"Ah come on, look at that thong, it's got to be a girl… Oh damn – make me unsee it!"
IV
"Jecht look to the left!"
VII, X
"Oh damn" – Jecht's eyes were immediately attracted to Ultimecia's absolute cleavage…
She was definitely pleased by attracted attention
"So babe, want to see the famous Jecht Shot… I mean, there has to be a reason why dress like this…"
IX
"Carefull, you might catch some magically transmitted diseases… You don't know where she's been…"
VIII
"Shut up!"
X
"Jecht don't care…"
00, VI, VII
Saevam iram, iram et dolorem
Saevam iram, iram et dolorem
Sephiroth, Sephiroth
Ferum terribile, terribile fatum
"So little clown. Prepare to face annihilation. Be proud that such music is played on your last minutes…" – Sephy was drawing Masamune
"Cease at once. You're have not been summoned here to fight each other…"
"This looks like fun!" – Kefka started casting some spell too…
The Mad Clown and One-Winged Angel were ready to clash, But Chaos stood between, holding them back. One arm for Kefka, and 2 for Sephy.
"And don't even think of chopping of my arms!"
"Listen, Devil, you know that when the music is on, I don't stop." – Said Sephy using his sword's length to try and poke it into Kefka, who was humorously dodging.
"And what will it take to…"
But Chaos didn't finish his question, as all three of them were hit with Particle Beam.
II&III
"Nice choice." - said the Emperor.
"They had it coming. Besides, "Saigo no shitou" is better that that ominous Latin chanting…"
V
"I'm glad I didn't get involved."
17