Written on 2, 3 and 11.10.09. REVIEW IT! Or Garland will knock you DOWN! This chapter is shorter, cause I'm short on ideas right now. Next chapter will be heroes!
Chaotic Confusion II: Silver hair and more bickering.
00
The dust cloud from the explosion was slowly dissipating, revealing quite the wreck site. Kefka was out cold, Sephiroth broke into Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo (that's what he does after taking too much damage), while Chaos was pissed off to no extent. The God of Discord attempted to block the particle beam, but it was too unexpected… Let's just say he now had 2 arms…
"This is preposterous! Why do you villains fight one another? I can't take it. You are wild animals, mad warriors!"
II, III, IV, V, VIII, IX
"We're predominately magic users."
00
"I don't care! I'll see you when there's a battle coming along. Until then you shall not see me!" with that Chaos disappeared from the lounge.
VIII and X
"Looks like somebody's in a bad mood… But I couldn't care less. So what's the name, horny chick."
"The name is Ultimecia and if you say one more things about the horns I'll Apocalypse you."
"I wasn't talking about the horns. I mean, there has to be reason why dress like this."
VII: AC
"WTF?" said Yazoo
"Shit" exclaimed Kadaj
"Where's mother?" cried Loz
IX
"That bitch has no taste in men either!" said Kuja referring to his new found nemesis Ultimecia
"Unlike you…" added the Emperor while floating by
"Yes, unlike me… Wait what?"
VI
Kefka suddenly regained consciousness!
"Oh, you son of a submariner! But OK, I admit that song has a bang to it… I'll take a nap now to restore my godhood…" thought Kefka as he lost consciousness again, hitting the floor with his head.
IV and V
"You surprisingly do look a lot like me. Only color swapped. And less floaty. And a tree."
"Knock it off already, I have more achievements than just being a tree!"
"Oh really? What might that be…"
"I killed a named playable character for the very first time…"
"Really now?!"
"Yeah that guy named Galuf."
"You don't say. Then why didn't you make it into any remakes?"
"…"
"Discrimination against trees, I guess…"
II and III
"So that horned one disappeared, huh? I guess he doesn't know what he's messing with." Said CoD yawning.
"He did seem all about appearing powerful but in-truth he seemed pretty simple… I mean look at me."
"What about you?" the Cloud of Darkness raised a brow to the Emperor's words.
"I dress simply and with style. My clothes are neither overly flamboyant like a clown, nor overly brawny like that Jecht thing… I am deadly elegance incarnate. I am Emperor of both Heaven and Hell…" he theatrically reached for the sky.
"Really now? Maybe another particle beam to your smug mug?"
No one would want that, so he decided to play it off, "Now, that's not what I meant. I am the most elegant representation of evil, while you're the best representation of oblivion and world destruction…"
"Is that so?"
"Yes"
I
Garland just stood there scratching his helmet.
So if Chaos left, does that make me the only Chaos? Ho-ho-ho. That maybe better…
IV and V
"So yeah. I guess it is discrimination or something… And why do I look like you so much?"
"Well, I'm a pretty spoony villain myself. I could say I'm also similar to many."
"But you have a sequel right?"
"It's for mobile phones, so nearly nobody heard of it…"
"Still, must be nice."
"Kilts aren't nice."
VII: AC
"Fuck, how do I get back?" asked Kadaj?
"I don't know!" cried Loz
"I don't care!" replied Yazoo
II, IX
"Hey you, blonde guy!" said Kuja.
"Are you referring to me?"
"Who else here has blonde hair?"
"At least I'm not silver haired like oh so many people…"
"I heard that. They're totally stealing my style. And what is it with silver hair on everybody?"
VII:AC
"Cause silver hair is awesome!" said the Silver-Haired Men in unison
III
"It shows, that you're out of age and time!"
VIII
"It's sexy!"
VII: DC
Weiss: I'm technically not here, but I testify, that silver hair is cool!
IV
"Under this helmet, I am also silver-haired…"
???
Somewhere in the hero lounge, WoL, Firion, Cecil, Onion Knight's Luneth side all simultaneously blink.
IX
"At least mine is a slight lavender tint…"
VIII and X
OK, time to show off my Jechtness!
"So, I'm like the star of the Zanarkand Abes!"
"I'm a witch from the future…"
"Oh, OK. I did some time-travel too. And then I got all SINful. Became this big… um… whale thing…"
"I junction to Griever occasionally."
"Sounds awesome. And I have this Final Aeon form. It's pretty cool and spiky…"
"My final form is pretty twisted…"
"Ah… damn you don't really go for the usual stuff huh? So what do you like?"
"Parades, fancy hairdressers, magic…"
"Not my expertise... I guess it's time for my secret weapon…" smirked Jecht.
VII: AC
"I've got it!" Kadaj went over to the bar, "Give me some Jenova cells, would you not?"
VIII and X
"So you want to see me do the Jecht shot?"
"Do you want to see me compress time?"
I need the next secret weapon, "I'll buy you a drink."
IX
"So anyway… I'm more stylish than you, Empyror…"
"What did you say? Take a good look in the mirror and say that again, thong-boy."
"Oh look at mister horn head? Steal that design from time-slut over there."
"At least I don't have a tail."
"My tail is nothing compared to your face in Hell Emperor form…"
VIII and X
"Here, have another one."
"Thanks… And then I… compressed time… and the SeeDs said their plan was to grow flowers…"
"Cool! Now have another one and tell some more about time compression." Getting drunk always works, there are no unpretty girls, there's only not enough alcohol.
I
Now that I'm the only Chaos left… I'm…
"I'm now officially the best villain!"
II-IX
"What?"
VII:AC
"Wait a second. I'm not done drinking my Jenova cells and vodka mix…"
IX
"Listen, knight-guy. I'm the best villain… I'm so villainous, I destroyed a world…"
VIII
"I… compressed time… oh get me another one, Jecht."
VI
"I already proved this a few moments ago, I'll go back to sleep now."
V
"Um… The Void? And I killed Galuf, remember?"
IV
"Um, I have a really cool fighting style here…"
III
"Particle Beam, focused 3 percent!
II
"I was reborn as the Emperor of Heaven after my death!"
I
"I will knock you all down" Garland got his sword ready, but a sudden flash near the interrupted him.
VII
"OK… I'm back. Are you ready to hear it again? Which remix do you prefer to die for?"
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