Interviewer: Here we are with a new interview for the latest chapter of Fullmetal Alchemist, Empty Box, chapter 85. We have with us today Wrath, Ed, Roy, and Hohenheim.

…

Interviewer: So, Ed, you finally got to hit Hohenheim, huh? We discussed this in our last interview, too. In the end you stuck with the metal arm, huh?

Ed: The harder the better. I've been looking forward to that for years! Smiles menacingly

Hohenheim: And I've been expecting it for a while. Sighs

Interviewer: You had a fun filled chapter, huh, Hoho? You got a message from Trisha, which was appreciated by all the HohoxTrisha fan girls. You also got to join Ed's gang!

Ed: Those people? I'd hardly call it a gang.

Hohenheim: There are fan girls?

Interviewer: I'm sure that the anime Hoho would have known this and have gone on a date with each one of them by now…

Hohenheim: I was happy to finally receive this message and to join the uprising against the homunculi.

Interviewer: Ed, how much do you miss Winry right now?

Ed: W-w-w-what? Winry? What about Winry? I wasn't thinking about her! I was thinking about how iron is affected by the combination of one hydrogen molecule and two oxygen!

Interviewer: Look, Ed-chan's so flustered that he mixed up his Hydrogen and Oxygen molecules! It's H20, Ed.

Ed: blushes and turns away This interview is stupid. I'm hungry.

Interviewer: You're always hungry.

Ed: I'm eating for two, okay?

Interviewer: Holy Arakawa flying over the moon, you're pregnant?

Ed: Al's body you idiot! Do you read this series at all?

Interviewer: I read for the now practically nonexistent pairing of Roy and Riza. So, Roy, what do you have to say for yourself? Inheriting Olivia's house, sending her flowers, sharing your and Riza's message with her…what's going on? Us fan girls are a little upset with you.

Roy: shrugs What's the big deal? I hate to admit it, but she may be Fuhrer someday, so I might as well get on good terms with her.

Interviewer: Damn it, Colonel! There are ways to do that without killing the fan girls…I think…well, not really…but you could at least try. I mean, 'gentle loveliness'? Come on, man!

Ed: She's not what I'd call gentle or lovely.

Hohenheim: Now, now, Ed. We mustn't talk poorly of a man's girlfriend while he's in the room with us.

Interviewer: barfs

Ed: Don't talk like you're my father!

Interviewer: I can't stand thinking about that scene anymore, Mustang. Just know that while you may have kick ass planning skills, all the Roy and Riza fan girls curse you.

Roy: You represent all the fan girls?

Interviewer: And boys!

Ed: Can we stop talking about the stupid Colonel?

Interviewer: Bradley, you've been awfully quiet. Tell us what it was liked to be pwned.

Wrath: Amusing. Humans are amusing.

Interviewer: Sure, sure. Now, what were you thinking as the train blew up?

Wrath: I was thinking of what a relief it was to have less people to give a monthly paycheck to.

Interviewer: Bradley, you may be insane, but you're amazing, man.

Roy: I wouldn't say he's amazing.

Interviewer: You've lost the right to speak, Colonel. Turns away That's all for now, everyone! Stay tuned for more soon!