I is updating! I hope you're happy! No Wicked reference intended.
~obsessive-elphaba

Fiyero Tiggular was too cool to be waking up in a pink bed without a girl in it. He knew he was. And he knew he was way cooler than the green bean that the owner of the pink bed was sleeping next to. Sure, their clothes were on, and they weren't cuddling or anything... but when you're Fiyero you see: two girls sleeping together. "Well, well, well, what have we here." He whistled.

Elphaba blinked awaked and Galinda stirred a bit into her friend. "Elphie..." The blonde yawned.

"Look who decided to get it on."

Elphaba scowled. "You're such a dick." She replied rubbing her friend's back.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go get something to eat. What you guys got?"

"Tofu." Elphaba replied trying to lure him out.

"Gross. You fucking bitches and got no meat." So the Yo Yo trekked to the cafeteria, only to find a locked door. Not to be dismayed, our gangsta knows how to pick locks... sort of. If you call jiggling a doorknob violently picking a lock. "You better open up you slutty whores! I know you're asses are in here!" He yelled.

As if on cue, a student, Clara, came yawning to the door. "Fiyero..." She murmered. "What the hell are you doing here at two in the morning?"

"You fucking bitch was in here the entire time and you didn't open the door. Damn you to hell asshole you pissbitch better-" Books just seemed to love causing him physical harm because a grumpy beauty-sleeped-deprived growling blonde had bopped him again. Even though he was still conscious and kicking, the grumpy blonde still dragged him to her dorm. "You asshole mother fuckin' cock sucking shitface!"

"Don't you dare call me a shitface, Fiyero Tiggular!" She growled.

"Watch me shitface! Whatcha gonna do about it shitface? Huh?" The Yo Yo sneered into her face.

The next thing Fiyero saw was stars as a fist connected with his face. All he could hear was:

"Let me go, Elphie!"

"No."

"I'm going to kill him! Let me go!"

"Galinda, don't, you'll... You'll break a nail!"

"Popsicle will get me another manicure! Let me go!"

Opening the one eye that wasn't swollen, Fiyero glared at the petite blonde, who was about as red as blood with rage. "Fucking shitface broke my eye!" He shouted.

"Oh really?" Galinda cooed sarcastically. "Let me fix it for you!" Her voice was dangerously vicious.

"I don't need you're fucking help. You cock suckin' ass licker! Take your girlfriend and get lost! The Yo Yo is hungry, and you won't like him when he's hungry." The prince clenched a fist.

"I don't like him in general." Elphaba muttered.

"Fiyero Tiggular!" A darkly polite yet suspiciously fish-like voice spoke.

"Madame Morrible thank Oz!" Galinda clenched her fists and glared at Fiyero. "Take him away! Suspend him! Expel him!"

"Miss Elphaba, what exactly is going on." Madame Morrible turned to her favorite sorceress.

Elphaba looked the lady in her fish eyes. "Fiyero was being a dick. As usual."

"The Yo Yo!" Said dick shouted his correction.

"Master Fiyero - to my office at once." Madame Morrible declared before grabbing his ear and pulling him down the hall.

The prince's last words before entering his doom were: "THE YO YO ONLY WANTED A FUCKING STEAK!"

Awwww, poor Yo Yo didn't get his steak. Hehe, of course he'd still call you a "shitface" if you don't review. Get it? Good. PS: Wicked isn't mine tee-hee.
~obsessive-elphaba