Interviewer: Here we are with Ed, Olivia, Hoho Papa, Denny, the freaky zombie maker dude and Al for our new, and belated, interview for Chapter 90 of the Fullmetal Alchemist manga, The Immortal Army. Without further delay, let us begin! So, Ed-

Ed: Why do you always start with me?

Interviewer: It's a new policy. We're going from shortest to tallest.

Ed: !#$%

Interviewer: What?

Hoho Papa: Leave it be.

Interviewer: (glares at Ed) Do I need a restraining order?

Ed: (mutters)

Interviewer: That's what I thought.

Olivia: Are you two just going to bicker the whole time, or does this have an actual point?

Ed: (mutters)

Olivia: You talking to me, shrimp?

Interviewer: Are you two just going to bicke-

Zombie Dude: Not this again. I have a lot to do. I don't have time for this.

Interviewer: You do realize you're dead, right?

Zombie Dude: …

Interviewer: Which is what I wanted to ask you about. Before your 'children' killed you, you had this strange moment where you were all like, 'daddy' and 'my babies' and all that. Do you mind me asking what the hell that was?

Zombie Dude: What, did you find it touching?

Interviewer: More disturbing than anything.

Zombie Dude: I was just using them (voice cracks)

Interviewer: Thank God this creeper's dead (shudders) Back to Ed.

Ed: Aw, come off of it.

Interviewer: Missing Winry yet?

Ed: What was that?

Interviewer: (clears throat) Um, I was about to ask what you were thinking when those doors opened to reveal those zombies.

Ed: I was thinking 'wtf'.

Interviewer: So was I. 'Cept I was sitting in front of PC laughing and you were getting eaten alive. It's a little different but whatever.

Ed: Are you on-

Interviewer: Pocky? Yes, I admit to my addiction.

Ed: (head-desk)

Interviewer: For Ed's sake, I'll move on. Hoho Papa, you were downright amazing in this chapter.

Hoho: I didn't do anything.

Interviewer: Dude, just being there makes you amazing. Even just standing in a panel-

Ed: And you called the other guy a creeper.

Interviewer: This is called appreciating the epicness that is Hohenheim. The other guy's like-

Olivia: (sigh) Get to the friggin point, for crying out loud.

Interviewer: Uh, yeah, so Hoho, I just wanted to say that your line about hanging out with the young chick was amazing. Just like you. And everything else you do.

Ed: I'm going to be sick. This ass actually has fans?

Interviewer: His name is Hoho Papa. That enough should earn him a fan base.

Ed: That isn't his name, you dum-

Hoho: Thank you.

Interviewer: On a serious note, it was sweet of you to let Ran Fan go. I was like, "That's the Hoho we know and love!"

Ed: (gags)

Interviewer: So, Al, what is up with you?

Al: …What do you mean?

Interviewer: You don't know morse code?

Al: Do you?

Interviewer: So, Denny-

Ed: Ha, look at her, avoiding the question.

Interviewer: (sweat drops) Um, Denny…what does it feel like to be the only person who isn't in the loop right now? You're, like, the geek that no one tells anything to. You're running around screaming about Mustang and you don't even know what you're talking about. We love you anyway, but what is with this?

Denny: What do you mean? I know everything that Mustang did. That bastard!

Interviewer: There he goes again (sighs) So, Olivia.

Olivia: It's about time.

Interviewer: Uh, yeah. First of all, I wanted to let you know you are the most bad ass thing ever.

Olivia: That's Briggs for you.

Interviewer: I also wanted to ask you how you managed to do that awesome pose where you had one hand pointing a gun and the other a sword. That was too amazing for words.

Olivia: (smirks) It was nothing.

Interviewer: (mutters) Then why the snickering?(clears throat) Well, thanks so much for coming in for another (extremely belated) interview! Hope to see you next time!