Chapter ten

I was numb. That's the only way to explain it. I could hear Ducky saying something, but it was as if he were speaking to someone else. I kept seeing Jethro fall, and then my father turning back towards me blood on his face, Jethro's blood. Then my gun went off, and it was all I could do to make it over to Gibbs. Ducky had said I did what I had to do, and he was right. My father would have killed us all, I'm sure of it. Bethesda loomed ahead of us, and I didn't even know how we got there. Before I knew what was happening Ducky was already out of the car and opening the door. The cool wind hit my face, and it was like ice water being thrown on me.

"I can't loose him Ducky." I said reaching up and grabbing the old doctor's arm. "I just can't." He gave me a sad look, like he understood exactly how I was feeling, and gave me a slight nod of his head

"Come my dear boy, he'll probably be in ICU by now." I let him pull me out of the car, and lead me into the hospital.

I let Ducky take the lead at the nurse's station, knowing he could get further than I could, but Gibbs had been taken into surgery already and we were left to wait for any scrap of news we could get.

After two hours, I heard the familiar clip, clop of platform shoes, and the reassuring voice of Tim McGee telling Abbey everything would be alright. I stood to meet them; looking for Ziva and sure enough she was pulling up the rear with her quiet strength. The rest of my real family had finally arrived, and I exhaled a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding.

"Oh Tony, have you heard anything yet?" I was immediately enveloped in one of Abby's infamous hugs.

"Not yet Abs." I said squeezing her back. Conveying all the emotions I couldn't say out loud.

"He's got to be okay Tony."

"I hope so." I whispered back, voice cracking. She pulled away slightly, and I knew tears were leaking out of my eyes. I couldn't stop them, and by this time I didn't want to. I was emotionally and physically drained.

"Oh Tony." she said wiping away a tear. "Come with me." She grabbed my hand, and like the tornado she was she whisked me away from the rest of the group leaving Ducky to fill everyone in on the scarce news.

"Abbey, where are you taking me, what if the doctor comes and I'm not there, what if….?" She turned in mid stride and placed a finger to my lips.

"Enough. You have been through too much in the last forty-eight hours, you need to find a little peace Tony, or you'll be no good for Gibbs when he gets out of surgery. Ducky will find us if the doctor has news, now come on." I followed obediently still not knowing where she was taking me. I almost ran into the back of her, when she stopped in front of two double oak doors.

"Where are we Abs?" she pushed through the doors, and I immediately recognized the chapel. She pulled me down the aisle towards the front where several candles were lit, in remembrance or prayer. She knelt, and pulled me down next to her. We knelt in silence for about ten minutes.

"Abbey I haven't been to mass since I was a kid." I actually had fond memories of going to mass with my aunt, but that had been so long ago, I was a different person then, so much had changed.

"God doesn't care how long it's been Tony." She handed me a rosary.

"You are full of surprises Abbey." I said taking it. It was beautiful, and obviously expensive.

"Kate gave it to me." She said almost in a whisper. I turned to look at her out of the corner of my eye, and caught a tear sliding down her face.

"Abs..?" I reached over and lay a hand on her shoulder, but she continued to stare at the lit candles.

"You shouldn't wait Tony." she said finally looking at me.

"Wait for what?" I asked dumbfounded. Where was she going with this?

"To tell him you're in love with him, you shouldn't wait. Kate gave me that before she died. I told her how… I told her how I felt about her, and she told me she felt the same, but she just couldn't be with me; it went against everything she believed in. Right before she was killed though we talked, almost all night and she said she wanted to try but I had to be patient, go slow, she gave me that rosary, she said to remind me of her, she knew I loved crosses." She gave a little laugh as she thought back on the memory.

"Just please don't wait." She turned back towards the candles, and then stood leaving me still kneeling. Lighting a candle she turned and laid a hand on my shoulder.

"This stays here, between us. I just wanted you to know, you're not alone. I'll come if we hear any news." She wiped her face and continued up the aisle way leaving me in the silence of the chapel. I didn't know what to think. I looked down at the beautiful rosary in my hand, and thought of Kate. Abbey had given me a gift. Who knew there were Goth angels? I bowed my head and began to finger the beads in my hand, for the first time in twenty years I prayed. "Our Father Who art in heaven…."

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I had been in the chapel a little over thirty minutes when I heard the double doors open.

"Tony, he's in recovery." I got up, and headed to the front eager for any news.

"Thanks Abs, for everything." I said handing her back the rosary. She twisted it around her wrist fingering the crucifix at the end.

"You both deserve to be happy." she said touching my cheek. "Just follow my advice."

"I will." I said placing my hand over hers.

We made it back to the waiting room in record time. The doctor waiting for us so he wouldn't have to go over everything twice.

Gibbs had made it through the surgery fine, no complications. He would have to go through physical therapy for his shoulder which had been damaged by the bullet breaking his collar bone, but the doctor expected he would make a full recovery. Everyone was ecstatic, and over the fray I caught Abbeys eye silently thanking her for what she had done for me, given me hope.

Authors note: One more chapter I think. Thank you you to everyone who stuck by me through this story, and your wonderful reviews. This chapter was a hard one to write for me, and I hope it tuned out okay. I know it's a little short, but I thought that was the best way to end it. I promise, there is juicy stuff coming, but it has to be the right moment. Please review let me know what you think.