Interviewer: We're here for a quick interview with the cast of Fullmetal Alchemist! Today we have with us Mei, Envy, Olivia, Ed, and Hoho Papa for The Philosopher's Revival. So, Mei, did you honestly expect anything good to come out of brining Envy to central?
Mei: (blushes)
Interviewer: It's all good – we love you anyway. Do you think you stand a chance against a homunculus by yourself, though?
Mei: Don't underestimate me – I'll fight until the end, despite my size.
Interviewer: See how nicely she says it, Ed? Why can't you take a tip from her?
Ed: Why would I take a tip from someone who just revived a homunculus?
Interviewer: Be nice – you two might be in-laws someday.
Ed: (eyes grow wide in horror) Are you trying to imply that Al-
Interviewer: I'm not implying – I know. Right, Mei?
Mei: (gets dreamy, far away look)
Interviewer: See, Ed?
Ed: That doesn't prove anything!
Interviewer: So, Envy – do you think you'll have any problems with Mei?
Envy: Not really. I'm completely revived now. That means that all of my lives are back now. She'll have to kill me multiple times to completely defeat me. For someone like her, all by herself, that's next to impossible.
Interviewer: I guess we'll have to see if you're right or not. Olivia, I just brought you here to let you know how incredibly badass you are.
Olivia: If that's the only reason you brought me here, you're dead.
Interviewer: Um…well…uh…how about this…do you think you'll have to fight Sloth?
Olivia: Well, everyone obviously knows by now that Briggs is not on Central's side. If he doesn't try to fight, then he's not a very loyal homunculi.
Interviewer: Do you think you stand a chance? Remember all it took to defeat him last time.
Olivia: I think I do.
Interviewer: Ed, do you think the zombies are an interesting addition to the plot?
Ed: Hell no! They're plain annoying, and just weird! As if I wasn't having enough trouble with all of this, I have to deal with them on top of it! I'll be worn down before I even get to Father Dude!
Interviewer: Speaking of Father Dude – Hoho Papa. What the hell was up with the last few lines of the last chapter? Since it's been a while, I'll rehash it for everyone.
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Hoho Papa: No need to bring a big group to punish one misbehaving child. Eh, my little friend from the flask?
Father Dude: Slave #23, you gave my part of your body. This time you will become part of mine.
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Interviewer: Was this supposed to be some weird slang used for "Hey, you were seme last time, not it's my turn?"
Ed: What's 'seme'?
Envy: Not you.
Interviewer: Let's leave that question unanswered to those who don't know. Hoho, can I please have a response to this accusation?
Hoho Papa: You fans sure interpret things strangely.
Interviewer: That's the fun of it all, though. But remember, Hoho: misinterpreting what you say and do is a hell lot easier than with any other character. Well, that's all for now! I hope you'll let me know what you thought of the interview and make sure to come back next time!