DISCLAIMER PLEASE READ: I just want to clairfy one thing:
If you see any similarities between my fic and someone else's, or whether it be your own, please note that it's simply coincidental. I know that there's a good chunk of fics and fanart of Perry being changed into a human, but this version is MINE so once again, any similarities are purely coincidental and NOT, I repeat, NOT INTENTIONAL! So please read and remember this, because I won't tolerate any shit that says, "this reminds me of so-and-so's fic". I'm not so low as to copy another person's hard work, I already know how that feels, and it's not fun.
Other than that, please enjoy chapter 2!
--
Perry shook his hands back and forth, the long sleeves of Doofenshmirtz's extra lab coat (which he lended to him willingly to cover him up) drooped down and hid his hands. The once-was platypus glared back up at his nemesis, silently promising him assuring death once he gathered what was happening in his mind. The mad scientist simply walked back and forth in deep thought as Perry sat on the couch in his office, watching his every move.
"Well..." Doofenshmirtz finally began, "I hope you know that NONE of this is my fault, especially your current condition. You fell in on your own, accidentally or not." He glanced down at Perry, arms crossed, and then turned around while rubbing his chin. "Might as well start teaching you some words so you can talk properly. Can't have an annoying, good-guy menace wrecking my plans without at least giving some lame victory spee-"
"I can talk just fine, thanks." Perry spat suddenly.
Doofenshmirtz froze and slowly turned to look at him. "Are you- are you telling me that you could talk this whole time?!" Perry shook his head and sighed. "Just because I'm a platy- er, was ONCE a platypus, never meant I couldn't communicate. Animals can understand one another through growls and stuff like that. It's just like human talking, except only animals can understand it. But now that I am," he pulled a lock of his blue-green hair, "like this, I can talk just fine. You can understand what I am saying, correct?"
Heinz just stared and nodded silently. He never knew the little guy had so much to say. "So... I guess it's just Perry now, right?"
"... Excuse me?"
"Perry. You're just... Perry. The name. Not Perry the Platypus anymore, that is."
The smaller figure flinched at the realization that had just occurred to him. "Oh," he said, "You're... right. You are absolutely right!" Doofenshmirtz cocked an eyebrow when he saw Perry's hand come up to cover his mouth, as if he had just saw something horrifying. "What, what's wrong?"
"I can't be an Agent anymore!" Perry cried. "I'm not Agent P if I'm not a platypus! I have to resign to the Major and when I get back home-"
That's right. Home. Phineas and Ferb. Perry's eyes were still and wide open with shock. "I can't go back home..." he muttered softly. His hands came down to rest on the couch's soft cushions to steady him at all that was happening so fast. "What do you mean you can't go back?" Doofenshmirtz asked, walking over to Perry so that they were only five inches apart. He waited for a response, but when he didn't get one, he spoke up, "Of course you can go back home. Just explained what happened-"
"I CAN'T!" Perry shouted and stood up. Despite the hight difference, Perry only reaching up to Doofenshmirtz's shoulders, he stood perfectly erect and in no position to screw around. "Don't you understand?! Christ, I knew you were stupid, but COME ON! Even YOU should know that I'm not able to go back to my family!" The Dr. scowled down at him for the 'stupid' insult, but listened.
"If I go back there and tell them who I am, what happened, everything, then my cover will be blown. They would disown me, and then what? What if they don't even believe me? They'll probably call the cops and take me to a damned mental asylum!" Perry gasped for air through his rant and glared at the carpeted floor beneath him. He turned his head to the side, feeling Doofenshmirtz staring intently at him. When Perry heard a sigh and the sound of him scratching his head, he looked back up only slightly, his bangs hiding his eyes.
"If you resign from being an Agent, then what am I?"
Perry snapped his head back up fully now, his attention on Heinz. "What?"
"Well," Doofenshmirtz coughed, backing up slightly, "I can't be your enemy if you aren't mine! An evil, genius scientist such as myself must always have another one there to foil his plans. Without you I'm... I'm nothing... really."
Perry's eyes were locked on him completely, the eyes staring up at him in awe and disbelief. It was then when he remembered when Doofenshmirtz replaced him with that God-forsaken panda. Even if it was all a trap in the end, the man really did sound honest when he said that Perry was the only nemesis for him. Strange relationship they had, the two of them.
Perry sighed and began to slowly walk out. "I'm going now." he replied. "To resign. I suggest finding a new hobby, Doctor. Goodbye." With those last words, Perry shut the office door, and walked out of the building, not looking back.
--
Through many squeezings and tight findings, Perry managed to make his way back into his base. Man, being a human sure did have its disadvantages. He sat upon his chair and waited for the screen to turn on. When it did, Monogram had his back turned, apparantly writing on what looked like a clipboard.
"Ah, Agent P," Monogram said delightfully without looking at him, "Was the mission a success?"
Perry sighed sadly. "No, sir. I apologize for what I'm about to say, but," his voice became louder, "but I must resign from the Agency."
"Ah, yes, good, good," Monogram said turning back around, not paying attention or realizing he had just spoke until he saw Perry's new appearance. "SWEET MOTHER OF BABY JESUS! AGENT P! What in God's name happened to you?!" As Perry sat and explained, Monogram's eyebrows furrowed. "So, your mission was a failure, then?"
"I guess you could say that, yes. I'm deeply sorry, but I'm sure that Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz will not proceed with the plans."
"What makes you so sure?"
Perry remembered what he had said, how he was "nothing" without him. "I'm just confident, sir."
Monogram scratched his temple and then ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up slightly. "Well, what is this talk I hear of you resigning?" Perry gave his Major a look, thinking he was joking. "With all due respect sir, I figured you would know why because of the obvious fact that I am not a platypus anymore. Just..." his mind ran back to Doofenshmirtz's words, "... Perry. I can no longer be an agent, and thus, must discontinue my service under your command."
Silence filled both rooms, the only sound being heard was the humming of computer monitors and the recording of the video cameras. It was suddenly broken with Monograms' hearty laughter that filled the room. Perry was stunned by this outburst and shifted his eyes. "What is so funny, sir?" Monogram wiped a tear from his eye and said between laughs, "You, Agent P! Do you really think I'll get rid of you that easily?"
Perry's eyes widened as he listened, "You're the best agent I got, Agent P. You've never failed a mission and you always come back ready for more. You know what, I have a new mission for you, as a matter of fact." Perry waited and said under his breath, "S-sir...?" His heart pounded in his chest rapidly.
"Your new mission," Monogram announced, "You will stay with Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz and both of you will find a cure for this transformation. You must not speak with your family and avoid them at all costs. Until you are back to being an ass-kicking, undercover platypus, you stay with Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz and also keep watch of him and devoid him of any evil plots he has ready. Is that understood, Agent P?"
Perry was shocked and utterly apalled at this decision. "Sir! If I may speak, I cannot stay with someone like that! I'll go crazy! And my family! I can't just-"
"Is that understood, Agent P?" Monogram boomed.
Perry flinched and nodded. "Yes, sir." He saluted his major as the computer screen faded out.
--
After crawling out of the small secret space from the tree and gasping for air, Perry dusted himself off and fixed his fedora properly. He looked around to make sure no one saw him and looked at his family's home that stood just feet away from him. 'I can't go back...' he though helplessly. 'This sucks.'
The sun had already begun to set, the sky becoming shades of pink, orange, and yellow. Time sure did fly by when you're saving the world. Perry began to walk away towards the sidewalk and back to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, trying to hold back tears and to shove the thought out of his mind of the possiblity he'll never see his family ever again.
"Excuse me!" a voice cried from behind him. "Wait, hold on!"
Perry looked back and his eyes widened. It was Phineas! And Ferb! Both were holding what looked like fliers. "Thank goodness we caught you!" Phineas excalimed. Perry looked down at his owners was a soft expression, noticing how equally upset the two boys were. "Um, our pet platypus Perry has been missing since this afternoon. He's usually back by now, and he always knows his way back home, so we're really, really worried about him on why he hasn't come back yet..."
The corners of Perry's mouth twitched.
"If you've seen him," Ferb motioned, handing Perry one of the fliers, "please contact us right away."
Perry stared at the flier. He stared long and hard at the stupid thing. It was photo taken of him, Phineas, and Ferb under the tree where they always sat during the summer days. All of them looked happy just being with each other. He slowly folded the piece of paper and stuffed it in the coat pocket, nodding in reassurance. "Thanks, mister." Phineas waved, and both he and Ferb began to walk away and back into the house.
Perry's throat felt tight, and he choked up a bit, but managed to yell out, "Wait!"
The stepbrothers turned around and were both enveloped by a soft, yet tight hug from the "stranger". Perry felt the tears forming fast in his eyes and whispered softly to them, "Don't worry. I'll do everything it takes to get him back." Before they could respond, Perry was out of sight, running, running far away from them.
Phineas stared at the direction he ran in, and said, "Ferb? Did he seem... a little bit, uh, familiar?"
Ferb stared as well. "Now that you mention it... yes."
Phineas shook his head and headed toward the house. "Come on," he sighed, "let's go inside."
--
Doofenshmirtz paced back and forth, writing furiously on blank pieces of paper and then tossing them on the floor. He groaned loudly in frustration and collapsed on his couch, glaring back up at the ceiling. "This is ridiculous! What am I going to do without Perry the Plat- Perry? I can't be an evil genius anymore... which means I..." he gulped, "I HAVE TO GET A REAL JOB."
He smothered his face with his hands and growled when a knock came at his door. He almost didn't hear it through the sounds of his own despair, but ultimately shouted, "IT'S OPEN!"
The door creaked open and shut immediately. Doofenshmirtz looked up and was surprised to see Perry standing there, looking solumn and his eyes red and puffy. He looked like he'd been crying. He looked like he's been running a marathon. And he looked like hell.
"Perry the Platy- PERRY?" Doofenshmirtz gaped out. 'I really gotta start cutting that habit of saying his full name...' he thought. "What are you doing here? I thought you resigned? Besides, I don't have anymore evil schemes and I took all the kittens back to the pet store-"
"I'm here on a mission." Perry replied confidently. "You and I have been forced to work together under classified circumstances to come up with a reverse potion for what happened to me. You have no choice but to cooperate, Doctor."
Heinz scoffed and cocked his head to the side. "Oh, reeeeeally?" he mocked. "And what happens if I refuse?"
"Then you will be arrested without warning, sent to state prison for every evil scheme you attempted to carry out on the entire Tri-State Area and become someone's bitch faster than you can say "-inator"."
Doofenshmirtz and Perry stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. It was then when the mad man replied,
"So, tell me what we should do to fix you."