Interviewer: I apologize for the lack of an interview last month-

Ed: I didn't mind it-

Interviewer: -But now we can have an even longer interview to make up for it!

Ed: Shit!!!

Interviewer: Today's characters are Pride, Heinkel, Olivia, Mei, Roy, Envy, and, of course, Ed! Let's start with Pride. So, what is it with you eating people all the time? Is that actually what you did – eat Kimblee? He's psycho, but I'm going to miss him (as will his luvr Miles JK)

Pride: (ignores last comment) The point of 'eating' people is to gain their PS.

Interviewer: You're like a freaking druggie when you do things like that. Do you realize that the PS could easily be mistaken as a drug?

Pride: …I swear, humans get more and more foolish with each thing they say-

Interviewer: (ahem) Anyhow, I also wanted to ask what you meant by what you said when Al was leaving with the others. You said it was according to plan or something diabolical like that.

Pride: I'm herding everyone into Central so we can complete the plan, so they're going right where I want them to.

Interviewer: Great. Just great (sighs) It should be interesting, at least. So, Heinkel, how do you feel about what happened in this chapter?

Heinkel: You sounds like a psychiatrist when you talk like that. About your question, though…I'm happy with what I did to Kimblee. He's been a pain in my neck and has been using me and the other chimera all along. You can understand why I'd want to deliver the final blow to him.

Interviewer: A lot of people were shocked that he went so easily. He's such a flashy person, and he has such a quick exit.

Pride: He's not really gone. He's still inside of me.

Interviewer: I suppose. Any comments on Yoki's part in the chapter, anyone?

Heinkel: I was definitely shocked, but too relieved to think too far into it (laughs) I still can't believe that…I guess our energy is infectious.

Interviewer: It sure is. Olivia, you didn't seem scared at all by your situation. I guess that's exaggerating a bit, but arguing about inheritance in a situation like that…? What was going through your head?

Olivia: The inheritance, obviously.

Interviewer: (sighs) I meant, how could you be so brave in a situation like that? Other than the fact that you're epic win, of course.

Olivia: I can't waste time doing things like worrying. The situation demands my full attention, so I can't sit around whimpering. Don't forget – I was the General at Briggs.

Interviewer: What were you thinking when that soldier thought the zombies were Briggs men?

Olivia: (seethes)

Interviewer: Um…one more. Do you think they'll let you and Alex fight?

Olivia: I think they will. They're mindless, spineless wimps. All of them.

Interviewer: Mei, were you nervous taking on Envy and all those zombies by yourself?

Mei: Well, only enough to keep me on my toes. It's not like it's my first time dealing with homunculi, though, and I'm prepared enough by now to be ready for situations like this. I may be small, but I'm certainly not a bad alchemist!

Interviewer: That's for sure! I was rooting you on the whole time. What's it like being with the others again?

Mei: Even though Mr. Scar seemed upset, I'm happy to see him again. Hopefully I'll get to see Al soon, too! Things are a little tense right now, though, so I can't think too much about that…

Interviewer: 'Tense' is an understatement. It seems like things are about to get a little crazy. Roy, it was awesome seeing you again, and I can't wait to see what you do next chapter. You've been off and on for so long that I was going crazy seeing you reenter the spotlight.

Roy: (smirks) I'm excited, too. I wasn't too surprised to see that Fullmetal wasn't handling this by himself.

Ed: Hey!

Interviewer: Seeing the two of you together again was hilarious.

Ed: The Colonel took long enough to show up.

Interviewer: That he did.

Roy: You're siding with him?

Interviewer: Your abscense is only forgiven because you were so adorable and amazing in this chapter. The end was really promising, too. What are you going to do now that you know who killed Hughes?

Roy: What do you think? It's just as I said – I'm going to fry that brat to a crisp.

Interviewer: Isn't it funny that it's the same place you fought Lust? Is this just coincidence?

(silence)

(crickets)

Ed: How would we know? We don't write the story.

Interviewer: Um, yeah, anyway, Envy! You realize you're about to get your ass kicked, right?

Envy: Ha, as if! These stupid humans can't get me-

Interviewer: You realize this is exactly what you said before Ogre-Marcoh kicked your ass, right?

Envy: Hey, I-

Interviewer: Anyway, thanks for reading! I hoped you enjoyed the interview and that you'll let me know what you thought!