Interviewer: This latest chapter of Fullmetal Alchemist, The Flames of Revenge, was definitely a jaw dropper. One of my favorites in the last year.

Ed: That's because you're biased.

Roy: Stop picking fights, Fullmetal. It's not her fault that she's fallen for my charms.

Ed: Don't talk to me about picking fights, Colonel.

Interviewer: Ahem, aside from the obvious Ed and Roy, today we have with us Riza, Scar, and Breda. Let's start with Breda, as the chapter did. Dude, we were all dying as we realized why you had brought in Mrs. Bradley. That's a great idea.

Breda: It's about time the public began to find out what's really going on behind the scenes, and we felt like this was the easiest way to do it.

Interviewer: Seeing you, Ross, and Fuery again was awesome as well. We've missed you guys!

Breda: (laughs) Well, I've missed being around, too.

Interviewer: How did you decide how much to let the public know?

Breda: We needed them to start doubting the government, but if we told them the entire truth about the homunculi they wouldn't have believed us. We have to take it slowly. They've been following Bradley for years, so it isn't going to be easy.

Interviewer: Well, you're off to a good start! Now, Scar – is it true that you've had an entire change of heart? Are you finally following the lesson of your master?

Scar: I can't continue with what I've been doing all this time. I may have thought I was killing the state alchemist, but I was killing myself along with them.

Interviewer: Wow, man, that was deep. I'm hoping that you can help calm Roy down next chapter.

Ed: I say we just give him a good punch in the face.

Interviewer: That works too. Or Riza can shoot him and reveal she doesn't have a real gun, but a tranquilizer!

Riza: It's a real gun.

Interviewer: Then knock him out with it.

Roy: Ugh, what a headache that would be…

Ed: Right now, you're our headache; so don't look for any sympathy.

Interviewer: Roy, this last chapter was crazy for you. You lost your senses during your fight with Envy.

Roy: He killed Hughes. What did you expect?

Interviewer: We certainly did expect this, but seeing it was entirely different. The look in your eyes was truly frightening.

Ed: We never should have left that nut! I wouldn't have if I didn't trust the Lieutenant so much.

Interviewer: Riza, you kicked ass in this chapter. We were all so worried about you after you mentioned your guns being worthless, but you still pwned. The foreshadowing bit where Ed asked you if you were all right, and you looked at Roy's back and went, "if we're not, then…" was amazing, too. So you knew from the start that you might have to live up to your promise?

Riza: I always hoped I wouldn't have to, but the Colonel was losing sight of himself in his anger.

Interviewer: Ha, that's a nice way of putting it. The guy was a maniac. It was badass, though. Even though I know I'm not supposed to be thinking this…seeing Envy getting his ass kicked was good for the time being. Anyhow, what do you think it's going to be that will get Roy back to his senses? A memory of the reason why Hughes said he'd follow him? A memory of all the promises he's made? Or just some common sense?

Riza: I think it will take a little bit of everything, because the Colonel is in quite a state right now.

Ed: You left out a good punch in the face.

Interviewer: That too…

Scar: I think if he hears a little bit from me, he might cool down.

Interviewer: Yeah, I mean, look what happened to you after you killed the Rockbells. We can't have Roy ending up like his anime counterpart, now can we? But now onto the biggest question of all…drum roll, please…

Ed: (grumbles) If you're going to ask my height, I swear, I'll-

Interviewer: Riza, what was it that told you that wasn't the Colonel?

(silence)

Interviewer: Riza? Where did she go…?

Roy: It seems the Lieutentant vanished.

Interviewer: Then you tell me, Roy. Was she really bluffing when she said you called her 'Riza' when you're alone?

Roy: You've seen us alone before. I still call her Lieutenant.

Interviewer: What about…out of work…if you catch my drift.

(silence)

Interviewer: Roy? Don't tell me that he also…

Ed: Arakawa would kill them if they said anything. She likes to torture you obsessive fans.

Interviewer: Honestly, that scene was the worst I've ever fallen for an April Fool's joke in my life.

Ed: That's because you're gullible. Do you honestly think the Lieutenant would tell a manipulative bastard like Envy something that personal?

Interviewer: I have to believe…DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

Scar: …She's lost it.

Ed: Does this mean we can leave, too?

Breda: Who's up for Taco Bell?

(everyone starts filing out)

Interviewer: Hello?

(silence)

Interviewer: Great…well, then, I suppose this is the end of our interview. I'll see you next month, where (hopefully) some of these questions that were rudely avoided (coughRIZAcoughROYcough) can be answered. So long for now!