Hell or Heaven?

Chapter 1: First day and thoughts

We went to the head boy and girl common rooms without making a single noise. I went up quickly to my own room without even looking around me and fell asleep the second I put my head on the pillow. The following day, I went down to the Great Hall around 6 a.m. after taking a good shower. I sat at the Gryffindor table, entirely empty at this time of the day. McGonagall got up from the professors table and moved towards me.

"Miss Evans, please distribute these timetables to each prefects of each house.

- Of course professor"

I waited half an hour so that all the prefects were in the Great Hall then distributed them the timetables. I went off towards my room to take my stuff for my first class, DADA. I went inside the common room to find a half naked James leaving the bathroom.

"Hey, hello, he says.

- Hello"

I headed for my room that he called me a second time:

"Do you know which class we have first, I couldn't wake up this morning to go down to the Great Hall?

Yeah we have DADA, here is your timetable." I said, giving him the last timetable of the 7th years that was left. Then I went up in my room, put my things in my bag then went down again. James was sitting on an armchair, his bag at his feet.

"You know that if you wait a little bit more here, sitting like this, you'll be late for the first lesson of the day...

- Oh...I was waiting for you.

- You w… were waiting for me? Why?

- Oh, it's just that I didn't want to go to class alone. Are you coming?

- Yeah..." I followed him out of the common room then we walked towards the DADA class. I sat down in the forefront, all alone, whereas James sat behind me with Sirius and Remus and Peter, behind them. The class passed in great uproar, the new professor, Mr. Obant, not being very dominating in class. Rather say he fell asleep in the middle of class... And, as usual, the marauders used this situation towards themselves! They are able to make you laugh if you are not the prey of their trick. I mean this year they can. During the past four years, or the three to be exact, nothing could raise my moral. If you became once their prey, you were until the end of your schooling. They don't pick too much on girls, generally on boys and especially, but especially on Slytherins. I think that I had good luck not to have them on my back during these years. It was hard to make the idea that they hate you, once that you were their friend. When you had once their trust, you were one of them, but it was not easy do have it. All the time that I passed with them was of pure happiness. When you betrayed them and saw your mistake, you couldn't look on their faces again. They accept your treason and never want to see you again. It's hard. It's difficult. And when the rest of your life mess up, it is hard not to have them on your side. But this morning, James had been nice, to wait for me like that to go to class and all... Ohh I don't know what to think anymore. I'll like to have them back, them, their support, their friendship... It is not easy, but it's worth to try. The problem is Sirius. He never accepts betrayal and never forgives. Except perhaps James. James is also as merciless as Sirius when it concerns betrayal. And after what I did to him. Kissing him then going out with his worse enemy. But then why did he act like that this morning? Maybe he forgave me? I was new when I made this error. I didn't know Malfoy and nobody warned me. What I know now, it's not to believe everyone's word as I did four years ago. I trusted the girls of my dormitory who told me he was charming, and then they repudiated me because I didn't let him go too far with me. Too late now to change what's already done, but one can always correct the errors in the present. I hope that the Marauders will accept me a second time!