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As you guys are reading this, and are picturing the characters in their original cartoon form and it disturbs or kind of makes you uncomfortable, then view my profile under "Gift Art and Other Groovy Stuff" to see what they would look like in MY style! I think it would make you a little less freaked out, lol.

Thanks for all the reviews again guys YOU ARE ALL JUST ONE BIG BUCKET OF AWESOME SAUCE

A hotokeu-chan: Gracias para el traducir mi fanfic para de habla hispana personas. Aprecio mucho y me hace feliz es gustas él bastantes traduce. Lo leí, y ¡muy me impresionan! Lo sieto, my espanol es muy malo... XD Otra vez, ¡gracias, gracias, gracias! 3

--

Perry awoke to the sound of running water and sat up and yawned, rubbing his eyes. Good lord, what time was it? He stretched and looked around the room he was in and suddenly felt the hairs on the back of his neck and arms stick up.

Oh. My. GOD.

Last night, they-!

He! And... DOOFENSHMIRTZ!

He clamped a hand over his mouth as a blush crept up his face. 'Oh. Oh, THIS IS JUST GREAT.' Perry thought, falling back on the bed and messing his hair up and moaning (quite loudly) in angry frustration. This was another reason why he hated lightning storms: they made him get incredibly out of character and afraid for his life and now he turned to his most unlikely Phineas-and-Ferb-stand-in and slept beside him all night as his arch-nemesis held him close and tight against his chest.

Perry was now convinced that God hated secret agents. Just look at James Bond and all the shit he got put through.

He rose up from the bed and through the covers off of him, looking like a child throwing a temper tantrum and stormed out the door. 'This is just completely ridiculous!' he thought in a fury. He pushed the elevator button as hard as he could, and the doors slid open. Perry waited for the doors to shut on their own and held his forehead in his hand. 'I can't believe this...'

Beep, beep, beep!

Perry snapped his eyes open and heard his watch going off and on. 'Holy shit, that scared me.' He forgot he had it on, but how could he- that was all he ever wore was the fedora and watch.

Well, what he used to only always wear.

He clicked the side of his watch and Major Monogram appeared on the small screen. "Agent P! Glad to see you are doing all right." he said. "How goes the mission?" Perry rubbed the back of his neck and coughed slightly. "It-it's going well, sir. We haven't started on the formula yet because the idiot lost the original, but we've been-"

He remembered the kiss from last night.

That... stupid, inconceivable, motherfucking-!

"- brainstorming." he lied, turning his head to face the floor.

Major Monogram raised an eyebrow. "Uuuh," he muttered, "You're not... sick, are you Agent P?" Perry looked up quickly and shook his head. "No, sir, why do you ask?" The major scratched his temple. "Well, your face is red. Very, very red. You don't have a fever do you? Did something hap-" Carl interrupted him when he appeared along side the major with wide eyes.

"Doofenshmirtz didn't do anything DIRTY to you, did he Agent P?!" he cried. "I'm talking tied up to a bed post with your hands bound together with his own leather belt, whip in hand, talking in an evil and sadistic tone as you cried out for help as he forced you to-"

He stopped himself when he noticed the disturbed expressions of Monogram and Perry, staring at him in an equally 'what-the-fuck' manner. Carl laughed a bit and scooted back, controlling the camera again, "WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN READING?!" Monogram managed to yell out. Carl looked nervous and replied, "Uh, heh, heh. Sorry about that. Too much... internet."

If a human's body had the ability to take all of the blood from the rest of the body and make it rush straight to the face, that's what Perry would look like right now. And he did, face in palm, completely silent and embarrassed as bloody hell.

Monogram cleared his throat and faced Perry again, "An-anyway Agent P, good luck on your mission. We'll contact you... again, once we... JESUS, CARL, WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SITES DO YOU GO TO?!"

The watch bleeped out and Perry fell to the elevator floor, sighing. He respected Major Monogram and Carl with his entire being, but... sometimes they can be just a slight bit stupid with the most weirdest ideas ever. It made Perry what they did for the rest of the day.

He shuddered. Never mind, he didn't want to know.

The elevator doors slid open and Perry stood up, walking straight into the kitchen smelling food.

"Oh, fiiiinally." Vanessa said in a sarcastic tone. "Took you long enough, the breakfast is almost cold. Where's dad at?"

Perry heard, but didn't respond and sat down at the table, head in hands once again. He was too caught up in everything- life was going by faster, days were shorter, and he still couldn't figure out why the hell he burned up inside whenever Doofenshmirtz was around. It never happened before, so why now? As a platypus, the only thing Perry felt around him was determination to kick his ass and save the day. Now, as a human, he felt hot and bothered and that he should just be renamed Candace the II.

Vanessa raised an eyebrow and happily took off the apron she was currently wearing. It was pink and frilly with white lace, which didn't suit her. At all. She walked over to where Perry was and sat across from him. "Why so blue, dude? Speak up."

Perry sighed heavily. Maybe Vanessa could help. She was a girl (s-sort of) and knew more about people's emotions running wild than he did. "Hey," he began, first in a low tone but then his voice got louder, "do... do you know this... thing humans feel when they see someone else and then they get all... warm and feel like they're going to pass out whenever they get close to you? Like, mmf... how do I put this- your heart beats super fast when they barely even touch you or even... hug and kiss you?"

Vanessa's eye widened with surprise, but her tone was completely calm. "You mean... love?"

Perry instantly died inside.

--

"Come on guys! Do something so I can bust youuu!"

Candace was currently whining at her brothers. Both boys were depressed and did nothing fun or exciting as they usually did everyday. Even Ferb was quieter than usual (and that was just a little bit more creepy). All they had been doing for the past four days was copying missing posters of Perry and hanging them all around the Tri-State Area. They even repeated themselves to make their point clear by putting posters on top of the posters they had already hung up.

They were actually wasting the summer days away.

"Sorry, Candace," Phineas answered, "we're just not in the mood." Candace's eyebrows furrowed together. "But, I mean-! You guys have always done things without Perry! Why should this time be any different?" Phineas shrugged. "I dunno. Probably because he always came back at the end of the day?"

Ouch.

They did have a point.

"So... what?" Candace crossed her arms and decided to go tough-love on them, "You're just going to sit inside all day moping around?" Phineas and Ferb got off the couch and didn't say anything, but instead walked up to their room. Candace's frown deepened. "Oh, man... they're really upset about Perry." Well, her summer would be a complete waste too if they stopped their regular adventures! But what could she do?

Candace stepped outside the front door and decided to go for a walk into town.

"Hey, Candace!" a voice called. She spun around and saw Jeremy riding his bike and coming towards him. 'GASPohmyGodit'sJeremy!' she thought rapidly, feeling those familiar butterflies fluttering in her stomach again. He caught up to her and pushed his feet on the ground to stop. "I, uh, heard about your little brothers missing their pet platypus." he said apologetically. "I'm really sorry about that, they must be down in the dumps." Candace's bright smile turned into another deep frown. "Oh, yeah, they're... really bummed out."

She sighed and sat down on the sidewalk curb. "I just don't know what to do!" she explained. "I mean, if they're sad then I won't be able to bust them to my mom about building another rocket ship or redesigning and stealing our parent's car for some sort of drag race!" Jeremy raise a blond eyebrow but listened and sat down next to her. "Oooh, this is just HOPELESS." she concluded and dropped her head, causing her long orange hair to fall over her face in despair.

"Is that all they've been doing, is putting up missing posters?" he asked out of curiosity. Candace nodded, her hair bouncing along. Jeremy put a hand on his chin and then smiled. "Well, why don't you send out a search party for him? Like, get a big group of people together and just search the entire city. Go out of town if you need to! Then you just might find the little guy, your brothers won't be depressed anymore, everyone will be happy, and then you can, uh, bust your brothers like always! (Or something...)"

Candace stared straight ahead of her and slowly began to smile. She then stood up with ultimate confidence, "That's a GREAT idea!" She pulled out her cell phone and began dialing furiously. "Stacy? It's me, Candace. gather everyone together and meet at my place! Don't ask questions, just hurry!" She shut her phone and turned to Jeremy, "Thanks, Jeremy, you're the greatest guy ever!"

That was when she did the unthinkable to herself: she pulled him down and planted a kiss on his lips.

When she pulled back and came back to reality, she stood back a little bit. Her face was a bright pink and she couldn't find the words to speak. "Uh-I- GOTTA GO." With that, she ran off back to her house. A young child across the street could have mistaken her for Sonic the Hedgehog, she was running so fast.

Jeremy just stared blankly into the direction Candace left in and smiled and laughed a bit. "Uh, heh! You're welcome."

--

Perry was pacing in a panicked state, back and forth in front of Vanessa. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCKING SHIT! FUCK EVERYTHING!"

Vanessa's eyes were still wide in shock and surprised at Perry's current actions and choice of words. "L-look, calm down. Just come sit back down..." Perry stared at one of the chairs as if it were a ninja about to attack, but did so. She grabbed Perry's hand and squeezed it. "Now breath innn and ouuut. Deeply!"

Perry did. He felt better, his head felt a little bit lighter, though. Or was that a good thing?

"Okay, good." Vanessa said and let go of his hand. "Now, why did you want to know? Don't mammals feel the same thing when they find a mate or something?" Perry shook his head. "Not, really. It's usually just wham-bam-thank you ma'am (1). You find someone to have kids with and then you're off. It's not like... animals or mammals get married or have a long relationship with each other. Very few do, but... it's pretty rare. It's just natural instinct."

"So, you're basically saying you and every other animal out there is a whore?" Vanessa remarked.

Perry flinched and tried to hold back morbid laughter. "NO! What I mean is- I've never..."

Vanessa scooted out of her chair and was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "YOU'VE NEVER SCREWED ANOTHER PLATYPUS BEFORE?!" she began laughing hysterically. "OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL TAUGHT ME THINGS, BUT REALLY, PERR?!" Perry had an annoyed expression on his face and glared at Vanessa. "HEY! I was sold after birth, okay?! I was little, and all I ever knew was a roof over my head!"

Vanessa sat back down, but continued snickering. "Okay, okay, I'm done." she cleared her throat, but still grinned at Perry.

"At least I knew I had a family that loved me." Perry replied softly, folding his arms on the table. "I never knew my dad since he left right after mom got pregnant, and mom was released somewhere after me and my sisters were big enough to be on our own. My real parents... never really cared."

Vanessa listened and locked her fingers together. She now looked serious again and decided to change the subject. She didn't enjoy talking about 'parents' either. "So, why'd you suddenly ask me about these feelings? Got someone on your mind?"

Perry blinked a couple of times and turned his head, avoiding the "who" part. "Are-are you sure it's really... that?" He couldn't bring himself to say the word. Love was a strong and controversial emotion. Weren't there other types of ways to tell you were... in that with someone else?

"Well..." Vanessa trailed off and thought of Johnny. She smiled slightly and looked back at Perry. "It depends. There are many different ways to care about someone, Perr. The list is pretty endless. Emotions confuse a lot of people, trust me. Sometimes, we're in love and we've never known it. Sometimes, we're not in love but think we are. Wait, hold on, let me write some things down."

She left the kitchen, leaving Perry alone. When she came back, she had a pen and piece of computer paper, writing all over it. She handed it to Perry and he began reading it to himself.

WEIRD LOVE-LIKE EMOTIONS

1. Falling in love the first time you see someone you've never met or talked to before ("love at first sight", but I don't believe in this one).
2. Having a friend or best friend and caring for them deeply or actually willing to pursue a relationship with them.
3. Willing to do anything just to have that other person love you back (desperate).
4. Obsessing over someone can often times be mistaken for love. Be careful of this one- it's really bad and unhealthy to obsess.
5. Hating someone for a long time, but soon you find yourself loving and wanting to be with that person ("opposites attract").
6. Lusting over someone just because you want to have sex with them, there is no love.
7. Maybe you feel like you love someone, but then soon find out they're not filling that gaping hole in your heart.

That's all I could think of. (a little smiley face with vampire fangs was drawn after that sentence)

Perry looked up from the list and at Vanessa then back at the list. Wow, this "love" emotion was really stupid and confusing. It made Perry's brain hurt. "So, you can be in love with someone but later found out you're not, or you could think something is love, but it really isn't? Only lust?" Vanessa tilted her head. "Well, when you put it that way, it's hard to make out what you're saying, but... I... guess? I'M ONLY 16 PERRY, LEAVE ME ALONE."

Perry glanced back down at the list and read through it again. It can't be number one, he's never heard of such a thing as falling in love with someone you've never met before; it kind of tied in with number six, so those two were out. Perry and Doofenshmirtz were NOT friends in any way, shape, or form, but Heinz did mention that Perry was his best friend on that stupid talk-show. Buteven though it was a trap, Perry didn't feel the same way, friend-wise, so count number two out. Number seven was out from the beginning since Perry was never in any kind of romantic relationship with anybody and numbers three and four sounded too much like Candace. All three were out.

Number five was taunting Perry the most though.

Could this be it? Did he really hate Doofenshmirtz because he was in... love with him? But that sounded really stupid once you think about it and doesn't make any sense. But then again, the hate be masking a hidden emotion within him; he could be denial. Or did he only think he was in lo-

"AAAUGH! WHY IS BEING A HUMAN SO CONFUSING, VANESSA?!" he cried out hopelessly and slammed his head on the table. He gave up.

Vanessa continued thinking about Johnny with a love-stricken grin on her face. "Oh, Johnny... I love you, too..." she mumbled in complete un-Vanessa-like bliss.

At that moment, Doofenshmirtz came walking in, dressed in the usual with his hair hanging down on the sides of his face since he had just gotten out of the shower (a much needed shower). He stopped in his tracks when he noticed Perry moaning loudly in despair and Vanessa staring into space with a goofy-looking smile and look in her eyes. He stepped over to where they were and stood at the edge of the table. "Uh, did I miss something here?" he asked. "You guys are-are starting to freak me out just a little bit-"

"IT'S YOUR FAULT I FEEL LIKE THIS!" Perry screamed, jolting up, "YOUR. FUCKING. FAULT!" He ran out of the kitchen leaving a confused-stricken Doofenshmirtz to question what in the name of all that was holy he had meant by that. He decided to deal with it later on and turned to Vanessa. "What's wrong with Perry?" he asked, shoving his thumb in the direction the once-platypus ran off into.

Vanessa was still lost in La-La Land and answered, "Oh, he's in love or something. Asked me for help. Hormones. Breakfast. Yeah. Johnny, you are so awesome..."

"In... WHAT, HE'S WHAT?!"

His daughter stood up and shoved her chair under the table, looking serious once again. "By the way, I don't know why Perry was with you in your bedroom last night-" she shoved a finger and jammed it in Heinz's chest, "but if you do ANYTHING weird to him, you are a DEAD MAN. Father or not, I WILL wreck you, dad." She stomped off out of the kitchen and down the hall.

Doofenshmirtz stood there completely dumbfounded. "WHAT THE HELL, IS IT A FULL MOON TONIGHT OR SOMETHING?!"

--

(1) The appropriate term for this is "yarinige". In Japanese, it basically means to have sex and break off with the person without speaking to them again. I got this term from the wonderful yaoi manga, The Tyrant Who Falls In Love by Takanaga Hinako. I decided to use this term because I thought it was humorous and pretty accurate with a mammal's/animal's mating habits.

That list Vanessa gave to Perry were all the lists of emotions of love-like states I could think of as a teenager in high school nowadays (over where I live, dating has turned into a fad of all stupid things instead of something special you should enjoy with someone else, so if you're not dating where I live, you're considered a fucking loser). But I am a happy, healthy loser since half of my school's students have mono and some other STD, nonetheless. :)

If you got any stories of times you or someone you know experienced any of the numbers on THE LIST in this chapter write them in your review! I'd love to read them, tl;dr or not! I'd also love to hear what you think of my versions of Perry and Dr. D on my profile. I'll be uploading the full, colored sketches on my dA account, so watch for it! :D

I need to go to bed now, my flight leaves at 10:40 in the morning. Bye guys, hope you enjoyed this chapter!