Hell or Heaven?
Chapter 5: Within me
"I came to Hogwarts when my father died. My mom wanted to make sure I was secure as she wasn't strong after my dad left us. It was the first time I was going to school.
I wanted to make friends, date, and be happy like my father would've wanted me to. I met you guys; you were very nice with me. But out of the four, there was something different with you. And when you kissed me, I got scared.
First because of what I felt. And also of what might happen if I stayed. You were, after all, a Marauder, all the girls desired you. We were little maybe, but you weren't waiting for any sexual activity.
The girls all said Malfoy liked me, that he was nice, not like you. I believed them. They were nice with me. So I started to date him. I soon found out he was just interested in sex. And he tried everything he could to get what he wanted. I was nearly getting raped by my own boyfriend! James, I was scared, but when I went looking for you guys, I couldn't find you. I was all alone. The girls called me a bitch. I understand now that they were just trying to take me away from you. I had nobody else to talk to. And then the year ended, me feeling all alone.
I went home and what do I found out. My mom died leaving me with my stepfather, whom she married in February because she couldn't continue by herself. My stepfather, … that is, wasn't the kind that liked children. I was first left alone, sometimes hungry. But then, he started to get drunk. He came home out of his mind with some sluts, fucking them all night. I heard their screams. At that age, your not supposed to. When there weren't whores, it was because he was angry. And that meant beating me. That's what I'm going through every summer. When I came back to Hogwarts, nobody seemed to mind how I looked. So I chose to wear that "costume" as you said. At least I didn't felt like it was me who was going through all this shit. As I grew older, life at home became harder. Last summer, my cousin visited me. That's when I made up my mind to change back and accept Dumbledore's proposition. But when he left, everything became worse at home. I was beat to no end and almost sexually abused.
Now James, you know everything about my life. And I want you to understand that I can't bear to get hurt anymore. So please, I'm begging you, if you're not sincere, just leave. And I don't think I have to ask you to keep my secret."
I was crying madly. James hugged me as tears were leaving his eyes too. I put my head on his shoulder and let my emotions take over me. He was caressing my hair and whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I looked back at him when my tears ended.
"Lils, I couldn't have been any more sincere. I like you so much. Please give me another chance. It's all I'm asking for."
I locked my eyes with his. For the first time, I took the first step and sweetly kissed him. I could taste my salty tears on his lips. They were so soft. As he took the upper hand, I felt truly happy for the first time in a long time!