First of all, thank you to those who wished me a safe flight. My trip was very fun and relaxing, and now I'm ready to start writing again!

Unfortunately, school starts again on the 12th, so I'm not sure how many updates you will be seeing from me... I am finally in my senior year (YAY ME! -Brenda Song clap-) and I REALLY need to focus on schoolwork and tests, so please understand this. I HAVE to get into a college and have a decent career. So don't come ranting about how I will not be updating every couple of weeks like I have been-I have a life you know! :O

CHAPTER 7
IT IS HERE.
REJOICE.

--

Hours had turned into days and days had turned into weeks.

Well, okay, it had only been a week and a half. But it had still felt like an entire year to Perry. He and Doofenshmirtz had finally gotten started on researching and testing several experiments for the reversal formula, and failed every single one of them. To add to the epic failure currently ensuing, being in the lab together was breaking all levels on the awkward meter.

Doofenshmirtz would always feel someone glaring at him very hard whenever his back was turned, but when he spun around to find the culprit, Perry immediately turned back to whatever he was doing as if nothing happened. It made Doofenshmirtz confused (and very scared).

Things weren't any better for Perry either- he still felt those strange feelings twist around inside his stomach, chest, and mind when Doofenshmirtz was either working right beside him or even said his name. Not too long ago, the doc asked him to hand over a couple of papers from his desk, and when Perry gave them to him his hand accidentally brushed up against his own, and Perry felt unbelievably uncomfortable and his face heated up again.

'He just touched my hand a little... it's not like... we HELD hands or anything. Man, it was so warm and... RRRGH!' Perry's thoughts were running wild and he couldn't stop thinking about it. If he really was in-that-emotion-that-shan't-be-named with Doofenshmirtz, then by God, that certain emotion was annoying as hell.

It was now 2:34 in the morning.

"Okay, I think I got it, Perry!" Heinz exclaimed excitedly. This caught Perry's attention and he ran over to said scientist's side. "You mean- this-this is it?!" he asked as he leaned over to stare at the beaker which held a clear liquid in it.

"I just need to add this onnnne little teensy drop of THIS," he held up a small vile with pink liquid in it, "and theeeeen-" as he poured a small drop into the beaker, it began to bubble profusely and turn a shade of a completely different color.

Heinz and Perry stared intently at the beaker, one grinning like mad and the other with a look of hope and amazement. Neither of them breathed.

The bubbling had begun to overflow the beaker, the foam covering the entire glass, but as it slowly stopped the glass had begun clear. The color of the once clear liquid had become a dark, scarlet red.

Doofenshmirtz grabbed both sides of his head and cried out in a frustrated yell, "DAMN IT! It wasn't supposed to turn RED! It was supposed to turn teal!" He slammed his head onto his desk, causing the beaker to shake a bit, and had a look of sheer disappointment on his face. "I just... give up, Perry."

Perry clenched his fists into a tight ball and glared at the beaker. "What... what does red mean?" He picked it up. "What happens if I drink this?" Heinz looked up with a nonchalant expression and slammed his head back down. "I dunno, die, probably." Perry's eyes widened with surprise and carefully but quickly placed the beaker down back on the desk. 'Gotta stay positive here, Perry. Gotta stay positive...' He smiled and spread his arms out and announced, "Well, why don't we try again? I mean, we can't just stop here, r-right?"

Doofenshmirtz glared back up at him with half-lidded eyes which caused Perry to flinch back a bit. "Uh, in case you haven't NOTICED Perry-" he pointed to another table across the lab that had several other beakers and viles, all with different colored liquids inside them as well, "- we've pretty much done EVERY color of the freaking RAINBOW for the past WEEK. Exhaustion and stress, ever heard of it?!"

Perry put on an angry facial expression and glanced at the floor, completely silent. Doofenshmirtz shook his head and held his face with his hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-to yell like that at you," he muffled between his fingers, "it-it's not YOUR fault, necessarily, I'm just REALLY tired, is all-"

"No, you're right," Perry interrupted. Heinz blinked and looked at the secret agent. "Wha-?"

"I'm being selfish and working both of us to our limit. We haven't slept, we've barely eaten anything, and we're both going a little bit more insane each day because we can't find... the right... stupid fucking ingredients." Anger began building in Perry's voice, but he quickly stopped himself. He laughed bitterly and shook his head, covering his eyes with his right hand and leaned on the table. "Heh. Never mind. We should just quit for a while."

Doofenshmirtz didn't take his eyes off Perry, and Perry could feel it. He removed his hand from his face and looked back at him. "What is it?"

"You." Heinz began, voice low and visibly tired, "You're forcing yourself to smile." Perry's eyes widened, once again, and he replied determinedly, "N-no I'm not. I'm just trying to stay-" The older man cut in without hesitation, sitting up straighter and more offensive. "No, you're not trying to be positive or "look at the bright side". You're pissed off and you want to cry your little eyes out because your hope of being normal again is running out. That's not trying to stay positive, that's forcing down your emotions which is not only unhealthy and can give you serious stress problems, but also turns bad situations worse."

Perry didn't speak. His mouth was open and his eyes were still wide.

Heinz was right. He was completely and undoubtedly right.

Perry clenched his fists again on the table and knelt his head down, bangs falling down along covering his face. Doofenshmirtz did nothing but continue to stare at him. It was quiet for another moment until Perry began laughing that bitter, cold laugh once again, smiled and said, "You make a lot more sense when you're on the brink of giving into sleep, you know?"

Doofenshmirtz got up from the floor he was currently kneeling on and stood in front of Perry. "Listen," he looked as if he were about to collapse any moment from exhaustion, "I'm going to go... to my roo-"

"Huaaah!"

THUD.

Perry cried out in both pain and surprise. One second Doofenshmirtz was standing and talking, and the next he fell over on top of Perry, totally knocked out. 'Ugh, for a skinny guy, he sure is freaking heavy!' he thought. He tried lifting the other man off of him, but it was no use. Perry sighed heavily in defeat (for once) and stared up at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes. 'This situation couldn't get any worse...'

Beep, beep, beep!

Perry managed to pull his arm out from underneath Doofenshmirtz and pressed a button on his watch. Major Monogram appeared on the screen, and spoke.

"Agent P, did you- uh, what are you doing lying on the floor?" Perry said nothing but took off his watch and held it at an angle like a stereotypical whore on Myspace would so he could see Doofenshmirtz lying on top of Perry very clearly. Monogram blinked a couple of times, coughed slightly, and tried finding the words to what he was seeing. "Uuuh, I didn't... know you two were... like that all of a sudden just because you're a human now. I didn't mean to, well, I guess barging in wouldn't be the right word-"

"WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING PERVERTED, SIR!" Perry yelled. "He just happened to have collapsed on top of me while we were talking from lack of sleep. We've been researching and performing countless experiments for days on end, but we've... failed every single one of them." Perry pointed the watch's screen towards the table with colored beakers as high as he could to prove himself true. He then turned it back to himself.

Monogram scratched his head with a serious expression. "Well, I'm sure something will come up. We've also taken the liberty of informing you that your family is doing fine, but are very worried about your disappearance. They've assembled a small search team, but..."

Perry glanced at Doofenshmirtz, who was breathing softly near his neck. He closed his eyes and opened them to look directly at the screen and replied, "Thank you, sir. That- that really means a lot. Give the Agency my thanks as well, please." Monogram nodded. "Don't worry Agent P. Oh! I almost forgot to mention one thing about your mission."

This news surprised Perry, "Something else? What is it?"

Carl handed Monogram a few papers. "It appears that Dr. Doofenshmirtz's wasn't working alone on this 'Humaninator' plan of his. Another one of our Agent's nemesis in Seattle was collaborating with him and had the formula as well. The agent managed to stop him, but unfortunately, while he was tying his rival up, he slipped and fell into the potion by accident. The potion was in a kiddie pool of all things! I mean, come on, really? I'm sure you can afford a bigger pool or even some kind of barrel, you know?" he began to laugh at himself.

Perry listened but had a bad feeling crawl up his spine. Doofenshmirtz was collaborating with someone else? But WHO? And why the hell hadn't he told Perry this!? Oh, he was getting such an ass-kicking when he woke up.

"Anyway, the mad scientist got turned in and is now serving some time in jail for other charges on his record." Monogram explained, "The last thing we heard about the agent was that a young-looking man wearing nothing but a fedora nonchalantly walked back into the pet store and returned all the little baby kittens without saying a word."

Now that was just disturbing. Didn't he even think to steal the villain's lab coat, or what?

Perry shook his head but Monogram continued, "We've managed to get a hold of him, but he's hardly said a word from what we hear from his Major. Of course he's fully clothed now thanks to the Agency we have over there, but him, his Major and I have agreed that it would be best if he joined you and Doofenshmirtz. He's been shown to... really, really hate being a human."

Monogram concluded and asked, "Any questions, Agent P? Are you alright with these new plans?" Perry thought for a moment but nodded. "It would be best if we had another person to help us, especially one in my predicament. It also wouldn't hurt to meet another agent. What's his name, anyway?"

Monogram opened his mouth to say something, but Carl ran on screen and was going crazy at seeing Heinz on top of Perry while on a dirty, tiled floor. "AGENT P!" he exclaimed with a wide grin on his face, "DON'T TELL ME THAT I WAS RIGHT?! BEING A HUMAN SURE HAS GOT YOUR HORMONES GOING WILD, HUH?! DID-" his voice got lower "did you two, you know... do it like I said? Was it rape at first, but then you consented-"

"CARL GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

"WAIT! I WAS JUST-"

"WATCH OUT, THE CAMERA-!"

The screen turned to snow, and Perry was left lying on the bathroom floor, completely embarrassed once again by Carl's sick mind. He turned his watch off and stared back down at Doofenshmirtz. "Huh," he mumbled, "you actually look less crazy when you're asleep. ... well, more like a normal human being with dark bags under his eyes, anyway." He felt a warm smile tug at his lips and his eyes softened. Perry hesitated at first, but moved his free arm to pet Doofenshmirtz's messy hair.

It was comforting. And it felt nice.

Perry shut his eyes and breathed in deeply. 'I wonder which agent it is... probably Agent E or... someone...' his thoughts drifted off, and he fell asleep, his arm going limp and resting around his now-supposed arch-nemesis.

--

The sun had risen, and it was now 9:15 in the morning.

The regular employees in D.E.I. that Doofenshmirtz never talked to day in and day out were all gone. Apparently everybody decided that they would give themselves a vacation for as long as they wanted to since Heinz was too caught up in other matters recently to even care that they worked for him. This being said, there was no one to talk to or ask where the bathroom was, which annoyed Vanessa very much.

She sat in the waiting room down on the first floor (why there was a waiting room in the first place is beyond me) trying to enjoy some television while Doofenshmirtz and Perry were up in the lab. She didn't bother them and had no reason to check on them. The reason: there was no screaming or loud crashing sounds to worry about despite being 9 floors below where they were (she had very good dad-is-up-to-no-good instincts). Vanessa lifted her left leg up on the couch and hugged her knee while her other hand flipped through channels with the remote.

"For today's forecast in the Tri-State Area, you can expect clear, sunny skies and warm weather, around 78 degrees-"

"Great to know..." she mumbled and clicked the channel button again.

"So what's it like being casted in another overdramatic and insane (yet somehow accurate) role, Tom Cruise?"

"Lame." Click.

"Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" an excited audience chanted as one of the guests stood up angrily.

"THAT (beep)ING MOTHER(beep)ER IS NOT MAH BABY'S DADDY! I'LL BE DAMNED TO HELL IF-"

"Oh, come on. As if we need to enforce more stereotypes!" Click, click, click.

"And now, back to CNReal- where cartoons and your childhood go to die!"

Vanessa pushed the power button down as hard as she could and set the remote down. "Maybe I should go outside or something." she decided and picked up the cereal bowl she had sitting on the table in front of her near countless People and InTouch magazines filled with the latest celebrity gossip. Vanessa walked out and dragged her feet along, as she was still in her pajamas, and placed the dishes in the cafeteria sink.

She was about to head towards the elevator back up to her room to get changed, but a taxi suddenly stopping in front of the building caught her attention. She looked through the double sliding doors thick blue glass to see a young-looking man of about 5'6''step out of the taxi. He held a briefcase in his right hand and wore a fedora similar to Perry's. His clothes consisted of a white, button-up undershirt, black trench coat, black pants, and army boots. He wasn't heavy, but he wasn't skinny either; he was a little more pudgy, if anything. His hair reached down to the middle of his neck, barely touching the collars of his shirt and coat. The way it was colored, however, caught Vanessa's eyes particularly: his hair looked completely black under the hat, but she could clearly see that his bangs were a pure, snow white.

The mysterious man walked through the doors, and as he entered, he stopped and took in his surroundings. He glanced at the walls and floor, and then at Vanessa. "Do you know where I can find Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz?" he asked. Vanessa felt a shiver run up her spine at hearing his voice. It was deep, calm, cool and collected, but very straightforward. He sounded like the kind of man who wanted to get right down to business.

"Who wants to know?" she blurted and crossed her arms across her chest. He continued to stare at her with his dark eyes. "I do. Tell me, I have no time to waste here. I need to get out of this... thing." he replied and clenched his left fist, as if posing a threat.

Now Vanessa was becoming uncomfortable.

"He's up in his lab. Working. Probably sleeping. 10th floor."

He turned towards the elevator without another word. She heard the ding and continued to stare at him, even as the door closed and he was out of sight. She heard herself gulp and her stomach turned. 'Well, that was... weird.' she thought. "What the hell was up with his eyes? That wasn't... make-up. Was it?" His eyes were dark, alright, especially around them.

He had dark rings around them, almost looking like an insomniac who suffered with the disease ever since he was born. "Or maybe even a panda!" Vanessa chuckled to herself.

--

The mysterious man walked down the hall of the tenth floor and saw one single door on his right up ahead. The walls around him were cracked and looked recently repainted. There was caution tape at the far end, suggesting many explosions and floorboards falling apart (or being broke down with force). 'Looks like something an Agent would do.' he thought.

He turned the doorknob and opened it carefully. There could be traps set, or even knock out gas, who knows? He poked his head in and glanced around the room. The sun shone down from the ceiling and two side windows, shining upon various colored glasses and beakers in front of him, making a lovely and warm color around the room. The man smiled to himself, placed his briefcase down and began walking in slowly. "Seems safe enou-"

He immediately caught himself from tripping over what felt like a bump in the middle of the floor. He looked down and his eyes widened with surprise.

'It looks like I hit my foot against (what appears to be) the other Agent P on accident...' he thought, sighing with half-lidded eyes. He looked at Doofenshmirtz (who still sleeping on top of Perry) and looked back and forth at each individual. What he could sum up about them was:

One- They were sleeping together- on the floor no less.
Two- Perry's left arm was wrapped around Doofenshmirtz in an affectionate manner.
Three- They looked better like this than they did when they were fighting.

"Hm, what an odd pair. I don't suppose they-" he shook his head immediately and became focused again. If they were to get anything done soon, he had to wake them up now. He softly tapped Perry on the head again with his boot, stirring him slightly, but then began earning groans of discomfort. "Stop iiiiiit." he murmured. The man became more annoyed and impatient and tapped him harder on his head, moving his long bangs in the process. "Wake up, Agent P." he demanded.

Perry tossed his head from side to side but reluctantly opened his eyes. He heard someone say "Agent P", and no one calls him them that except Major Monogram, Carl and Doofenshmirtz. 'Who's-' Perry opened his eyes fully, and instead of staring at the ceiling, he was staring into the dark eyes of what appeared to be a VERY sleep-deprived young man. The stranger had knelt down and was now inches apart from Perry's face, which made his eyes widen with both shock and rage.

"YOU-!"

The secret agent shot up so fast that he bumped foreheads with the other man on accident, which caused him to fall backwards and lean against the door, while Perry sat up, in sudden pain. They both rubbed their foreheads and moaned at the impact of their skulls.

Weren't mornings just wonderful?

Perry's clamped eyes shot open once again. He turned to face the other man and pointed an accused finger at him. "I know your eyes! I've seen them befo- oh no." he stopped himself when he realized, "YOU WERE THE AGENT THAT MAJOR MONOGRAM WAS TALKING ABOUT?!" The other young man blew his bangs out of his face and took of his fedora. His serious expression suddenly disappeared in an instant and a wide smile formed.

"Yeah, I knew you'd remember me- Peter the Panda! Well, not a panda. Anymore. But I still got the eyes, see?" he pointed to them to show Perry, making sure he saw them.

"I can't believe this," Perry lowered his arm from pointing at Peter, "I have the worst luck in the world... by some kind of coincidence we meet again in the same problem and have to stay with the same insane scientist! It's like I'm in some kind of sick game where someone has the power to control whatever happens! WHY IS GOD SO CRUEL- TO ME ESPECIALLY?!"

Peter rose a black eyebrow and stared at him. 'He's actually starting to... scare me.' Perry stopped himself from ranting when he felt something move on his lap. He looked down and saw Doofenshmirtz (who was pushed off slightly when Perry sat up earlier) place a hand on Perry's thigh, lifting himself up and opening his eyes. His eyes glanced up at Perry's, and then widened a little bit with each second when he noticed what position they were in.

Perry's shoulders were hunched up as girls would do when they are shy around someone (or disgusted) as he stared at Doofenshmirtz. Heinz looked up and down at his rival and saw his hand resting on his thigh, very close to the crotch area. His face turned red in a heartbeat and he quickly moved away from Perry without saying a word. Both men were blushing and sweating, and both wouldn't take their eyes away from the other. Peter looked back and forth at them both and burst out laughing, but it did not even phase either Perry nor Doofenshmirtz.

Yeah.

Mornings were the best.

--

Yes, Perry. I AM GOD. I CAN NOW DO WHATEVER I PLEASE WITH DOOFENSHMIRTZ, PETER, AND YOUUUU buuut I can't say I own you, because that is bad and illegal. :3

ALRIIIGHT NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. The next couple of chapters will have more slash in it, I promise. More perverted accidents, blushing, MAYBE a kiss, and misinterpretations! HOORAY FOR SEXUAL INNUENDOS AND DOUBLE ENTENDRES! Also, I think this may the longest chapter I've ever done for this fic. WHOO, GO ME.