OMG DID ANYBODY ELSE SEE THAT EPISODE WHERE DOOFENSHMIRTZ FOUND THE LITTLE KITTY?! I saw the preview for it and was all, "waaaaait a minute". I was laughing SO hard because I immediately thought of my fic. I thought it was sweet of Perry to catch both Heinz and the little kitty from falling to certain doom. So cute! C:

Thanks for all the reviews again, you guys YOU ARE ALL SO HOTT WITH TWO T'S

--

"Well," Vanessa said as she slung her bag over her shoulder, "I think it's high time I get out of here."

Charlene had wanted Vanessa to come back with her, but she was all the way in Hawaii (still) while taking a "vacation" with her new "friend". This meant that Doofenshmirtz had to drive his daughter all the way to the airport in the next town, which was an hour and a half away. "Ugh, heavy," she mumbled as she tightened the bag's strap, "I guess I'll see you later then, the, uh, two Agent P's. It was nice meeting you Peter, for like, a day." She shook hands with him and then patted Perry on the shoulder.

"I, uuuh, hope you... get back to normal soon. For your family's sake." she hesitated to say. "If my dad gives you any trouble, just punch him. He's kind of been asking for it lately anyway." Perry smiled with amusement and kindness and replied, "I'm sure. Take care, Vanessa." The smile he gave her made her cheeks flush and she turned around so fast you would think she could cut off someone's head with her hair alone. She walked out the front doors before anyone had a chance to say even a vowel. "L-let's go, dad!"

Doofenshmirtz waved to the two former animals and quickly said he would be back soon before disappearing outside and driving away. Peter sighed with relief, running fingers through his oddly colored hair. "Finally, alone at last." he turned to Perry with half-lidded eyes and shrugged. "Mm, well, sort of. So, hey, what did Dr. D want to say to you that was so important that he had to shove me and his kid outta the room?"

Perry's thoughts flashed back as he remembered everything that happened the day before.

--

Perry struggled even harder to get away from the other man. 'What the hell is he doing-?!' he thought in panic. He knew what a kiss was, obviously. He'd seen people on the streets hold hands and sometimes give pecks on the cheek if they liked each other, but if some couples had no shame or decency for other people's and children's eyes, they'd eat each others faces as if making out was going out of style.

The latter was what Doofenshmirtz was doing at the very moment.

The shorter agent opened his mouth to respond to the sudden calamity occurring, but instead got a certain evil scientist's tongue shoved down his throat. 'This is... so humiliating! The whole time I've BEEN with him has been humiliating!' Perry made a gasping noise when he finally got the chance to breathe, and suddenly cried out when Heinz pulled away, but kept him pinned against the wall.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" Perry cried. "You just intentionally raped my mouth!" He was about to wipe his mouth from the saliva that was dripping from the side of his mouth down to his chin, but remembered he was unable to release his hands. He hung his head low and reluctantly lifted it up to look into the eyes of his enemy.

"You know," Heinz said, "I was debating whether or not to actually do this since you're so uptight and a guy now, but I like this plan better!"

"Why's that?" Perry asked, fear developing in his shaking voice.

"Because you're cuter like this."

Perry's face became a dark shade of crimson and lifted his leg slightly to kick Doofenshmirtz in the crotch, but was slammed against the wall harder. Except, to add to the discomfort this time, Heinz shifted his right knee in between Perry's legs, and this automatically made him freeze in his tracks. A hard gulp surged down his throat, so loud that he was pretty sure even Vanessa and Peter heard it.

"You're disgusting..." Perry growled between his teeth and stared at the ceiling, forcing himself not to make eye contact. All he heard from Doofenshmirtz was a chuckle and then felt his tongue slide up all the way from his neck back up to his lips, lapping up the previously said spit dripping from him. Expecting another kiss, Perry braced himself but was surprsied when Doofenshmirtz merely made their forheads touch. They stared into each other's eyes, Agent P, reluctant.

"I hate you..." Perry moaned. "I thought you said you were in love with me? Vanessa told me last week." Heinz whispered.

'Stupid teenager...' Perry thought. "I wasn't lying about that, either." replied the undercover agent. Doofenshmirtz smiled and kissed him again, but this time, Perry didn't tried to force him off of himself.

The man truly was evil.

--

After that scenario had happened, Perry did not sleep for the rest of the night. He stood up from when the sun went down to when it came back up. However, he was now thinking that it wasn't such a good idea to stay up all night. The thoughts running around in his mind were horribly unbearable though, so there was no point in even attempting to sleep.

"Agent P?" Peter waved a hand in front of his face. "Agent P! Are you okay?"

Perry's eyes closed and everything went black in his mind. "Whoa!" Peter used his slick agility to catch Perry before he hit the hard tile floor and split his head open. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" He panicked and began pacing back and forth. "I hope he's not dead!" Peter stopped and placed Perry gently on the floor and listened to his heartbeat closely.

"Whew! Just asleep." The former-panda looked at Perry up and down as he lay sleeping on the cold floor. "Uhh, I should probably... carry him outta here." he concluded to himself and looked around the first floor. "Oh! A waiting room." Peter lifted Perry up from where he lied and found him a lot harder to to move much less pick up.

He settled for dragging him all the way to the waiting room's couch instead.

--

"So tell me again why your mother is in Hawaii?" Doofenshmirtz asked his daughter, keeping his eyes on the road. Vanessa shrugged and continued staring out the passenger seat's window. "I dunno. Just said she had a friend who lived there and decided to take off and go." Her father nodded and made an "ah" sound in response. They both didn't say anything, but knew that whoever Charlene was with right now was not just a "friend". Vanessa was getting sick of the awkward silences. Two weeks had been enough and even a conversatoin about nothing was better than hearing nothing but the wind and multiple vehicle's wheels on the freeway.

"I, uh, didn't know you had finally bought a car, dad."

"Oh, yeah. Just bought it a couple of months ago since my scooter needs fixing, but, eh. Don't really ever go places, you know?"

"It's nice. Smells brand new. Like no one ever used it. Like, ever."

"Yeah."

It was silent for a couple more minutes until Vanessa spoke again. "So. Why don't you get another girlfriend, dad?"

Doofenshmirtz rolled his eyes and grunted. "Because! I don't have the time for relationships." The way he said "relationships" had made him sound like he had a bad taste in his mouth. "Besides, I dated a couple of women! None of them just ever worked out because one thought I was a monster, another almost wanted to start something with me but decided at the last second that she "felt nothing" and the others- w-well... it's, it's none of your business anyway. Why am I even telling you this? Stop dragging me into such ridiculous, meaningless conversations, Vanessa." She crossed her arms in a scolding manner and turned to face him. "Oh, reeeally?"

"Really!"

"Oh, okay then."

Doofenshmirtz leered at her. "What is that supposed to mean?" Her fingers tapped on the side of her arm in a playful manner and said with a light-hearted tone, "What about Perry?"

Now this was a surprise. "What about Perry?" he asked. Vanessa uncrossed her arms, pulled the car's visor down, slid the small door that beheld a mirror and brushed her hair with her fingers. She looked at herself and carried on, "You guys just seem a lot closer since he became a human, I guess. Less fighting, screaming and shit. Seems a liiittle strange how he would come to me for advice about love. Especially since it was only me, you, and him staying together at that one time."

Heinz didn't reply and kept his eyes focused on the road.

"Who do you think he could be "in love" with? Hmm, dad?" she flipped her hair and pushed the visor mirror back up. Doofenshmirtz sighed, getting annoyed with the constant questions. "Who cares? It's Perry the Platypus!" he remarked coldly. "For all I know it could be Peter the Panda." Vanessa smirked evilly and cocked an eyebrow. "Oh? Well, has Perry been kissed before by this certain person he likes?" Doofenshmirtz's cheeks became a dark scarlet red as his daughter continued smirking at him.

He responded in a nervous tone, "S-seriously, who cares?"

--

Black eyes opened slowly along with a soft moan. Perry found himself staring back up into the face of another person, this person oncew again being Peter, and woke up with a startle. "Holy shi-!" he exclaimed but stopped when their foreheads bumped together again, just as before in the lab. Each Agent P groaned in a great amount of pain while clasping their heads tightly. "Owwww!" Peter said. "You really gotta stop doing that!" Perry glared at the former-panda between his locked fingers. "Well why don't YOU stop getting so close to my face when I'm sleeping!?" he retorted. "God, it's like waking up to see a creepy stalker staring down at you imagining-!" He clamped his eyes shut and added, "What happened, anyway...?"

Peter shook his head wildly, making his hair swish from side to side rapidly, and then looked at Perry. "Well... I asked you what happened between you and Doof yesterday, then you got all silent and passed out. Good thing I caught ya 'fore you fell and busted your head!"

Perry blinked a couple of times and gazed around his surroundings. There was a small television set sitting on a stand bolted into the corner of the wall across from him (the kind they have in hospitals), a long polished, wooden table between him and the couch with countless magazines dealing with the media and social dealings and a few cushion chairs lined up together. The room was not small, but not large either. This was either the lobby on the first floor or some kind of waiting room due to the magazines, Perry assumed to himself.

"Did you bring me here?" Perry asked Peter. The latter's face turned unsure and twirled his hands in a neutral format. "Ehhh, kind of. "Dragged" would be a more appropriate term though. So, hey! Tell me what happened since you're all awake and stuff now!" Peter leaned in towards Perry with a huge curious smile, their noses barely touching. Perry hmph'd and got up quickly, storming out of the room.

The second Agent P got up just as fast, and followed Perry into the kitchen. He walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a glass cup, turned the faucet on, and filled it up with cold water. "Hey! What's wrong? Did something bad happen between you guys?"

Perry chugged the water down in one sitting and let out a gasping breath. He filled the glass up again and glared at the floor. "Nothing. We just talked." was his simple reply. Peter's black eyes opened wide with more curiousity and stared intently at Perry. "Nooo, it sounds like something did happen. Maybe it wasn't necessarily BAD but... SOMETHING happened."

The "platypus" drank the water like a fish once again, but this time glared back at Peter. "Nothing. Happened." he growled, trying to make himself sound as threatening as possible. Peter didn't buy it and his face changed into a stubborn-looking one.

"You're a dirty liar."

Before Peter knew it, he was tackled to the ground by an angry Perry the Platy-Person. He squeezed Peter's shoulders as hard as he could making sure he couldn't escape under any circumstance. Peter tossed and turned, but it was useless; Perry had pinned him good and hard. He took a deep breath in and looked up at the other young man who's eyes were filled with anger and his face flushed rather dark; whether it was from anger or embarrassment, Peter didn't know.

"Do you think I want to be here right now?" Perry growled, surprisingly, his voice was low in tone but sounded angry all the same. "I hate it here. I hate being like this, I hate Doofenshmirtz a million more times than I did before, and I REALLY fucking hate you." Peter's eyebrows furrowed and replied, "But... we left on good terms the last time we met-"

Perry ignored him and continued, "You don't know how I feel right now! How I felt last night after what happened between me and him! I just want to get out of here and get the hell back to my family!" He was quiet for a few seconds and then said, "You know what? I will leave. Who gives a damn if I won't be back to normal- a regular platypus that "doesn't do much"? At least I won't be stuck with you and him anymore. I'm out of here."

Perry lifted himself off of Peter and began walking out of the kitchen. However, before he reached the exit arch, he was instantly pulled back and was locked in a grip. Peter's left hand grabbed Perry's neck and was softly squeezing his wind pipes, cutting off his breathing slightly while his right arm was wrapped around him and his hand tightened around Perry's side and he rested his chin on his victim's shoulder. It looked like some sort of pose for a porn about bondage fetishes, but to Perry it felt like the air was being squeezed out of him.

"You don't know anything." Peter whispered. Perry instantly stopped breathing- not because of Peter's choke hold- but because the sound of his voice had completely changed. There wasn't a childish tone anymore or slang to add to it, but a deep, venom-filled sound to it. Perry's eyes shifted downward and was shocked to see that claws had expanded from Peter's fingernails, the veins in his hands a bit more visible than before, and he could only imagine his eyes.

Just the thought alone scared him to death.

"You think you have it so bad? That you're the only agent who has problems?" Peter gripped Perry's throat tighter, little by little, earning a meak gasp for air from the latter. "Don't think that you're the only one in this situation who hates being like this, Perry. So what if you have a desire for your most hated enemy? You think that has any resemblance to how I feel? Compared to me, your "problem" is about as important as a teenage girl who got stood up at prom."

"You... know?" Perry managed to choke out with shock. "Hah-how..." Peter tightened his grip on Perry's throat. "It's not hard to figure out, Perry. Anyone can tell when someone falls for another person- they act stupider and a whole lot weaker. Watch this..."

At that moment, Perry felt sharp teeth bite at his earlobe and his knees suddenly jerked with pain. He cried out and was sure to God that he was bleeding now. Peter wasn't done yet, though, and finished his example by lapping at the new wound with his wet tongue, that was sure to leave a scar. Perry's tense muscles began relaxing and would have fallen from the new found pleasure if Peter wasn't holding him.

By the was he was acting, he wasn't even sure this was "Peter" anymore.

"See?" Perry could feel Peter smirk. "You get weak when something like that happens. Fun, isn't it? Well, (tsk) for me, anyways." Perry gasped for as much air as he could and mumbled, turning his head slightly to face Peter, "Who... the hell... ARE YOU?!" The other Agent P's smirk widened and offered an even stronger choke hold in reply.

"I hate being a human more than anything right now. Monogram told you that, right? I really, really (giggle), REALLY hate it. It's like starting a new life all over because of this unwanted transformation. You have to learn new things just to fit into the human's society or else you'll be deemed as "awkward" or "weird" or even "odd". You know, when I first became like this, I was going crazy. Did you know that?" Peter let go of Perry's throat, but once he heard him gasp, he began choking him close to death again. "I was thinking, 'What the fuck is going on? Why am I like this? What happened? I completed the mission right? Who, what, where, when, how?' I was freaking out. I didn't know what was real anymore, and once I returned all those kittens, I ran off into a dark alley way in between these large, tall buildings.

"I kept looking at myself as much as I possibly could and began screaming. Screaming like it was the end of the world. I hated the way I looked. The last thing I ever wanted to be was a human being. Do you know why, Perry?" Perry was released and began breathing heavily, taking in as much air as he possibly could again, and was sent back into the same routine of being choked.

"As both animals and mammals, we have shorter lives. Which is fine with me- we're born, we set out what we need to do, and then we die. Simple, right? But oh, no. Not with humans. They're born, grown to believe whatever it is their parents and television tell them to and once they're older, they have to go to school for twelve long years "to make something of themselves". Then, once they hit eighteen or nineteen years old, they either go to college and get a career, or become some sort of drug addict junkie with no future. The average human can live up to seventy years. Seventy years! Would you want to live that long, suffering with what seems like a never ending age? I wouldn't.

"So anyway, back in the alley- I started going insane, right? Began clawing at the walls until the nubs on my fingernails bled profusely. Realizing I wasn't going to get anywhere with what I was doing, I returned back to the agency and acted as if nothing was wrong. I said nothing, but they knew exactly what had happened. They gave me some things to wear, a briefcase full of items to use to retrieve the reversal potion, and assigned me here."

Perry felt as if he was on the verge of passing out, but forced himself to stay awake as he listened to everything Peter was telling him. "So, yeah!" the "panda" exclaimed. "That's my life fucking story on how everything went downhill for me. So, you think that suicidal tendencies I thought I had never had before and a new split personality is a piece of cake compared to your bullshit, girly crush?"

Peter released Perry and threw him against the tile floor in a violent rage. His glare overshadowed his looks as Perry struggled to breath correctly and looked up at his former rival. "I didn't think so."Peter finished and then knelt down, being on the same eye level of Perry. He then smiled a friendly smile, and for a second Perry thought Peter was back to normal, but was sorely mistaken when Peter grabbed his hair and pulled Perry forcefully towards him.

'Oh, God,' Perry thought, 'he's going to kill me... his eyes have that look-!' Peter's smile slowly turned into a sadistic smirk and he opened his once cheerful eyes, which were now a glowing red, to stare into Perry's dark ones, filled with fear and panic. "You're staying here, whether you like it or not. I need all the help I can get to change me back to normal, and if you don't decide to stay-" one of his hands let go of Perry's hair and ran his claw from his index finger from Perry's collar bone, all the way up to underneath his chin. Perry could feel that it wasn't a hard mark but more of a cat scratch. It would still leave a long mark for a couple of days, though.

"Bad, terrible things will happen to both you and your nemesis. Got it?" Perry's eyes were completely wide with fear, terror, and helplessness. His body was unable to move and he felt that death was coming at any moment. However, he felt the hands release from him, and Peter sat back, his eyes closed and head facing the floor.

Peter's head lifted up after a couple of seconds, slowly, and his wide, curious eyes glanced around the kitchen. He scratched the back of his head and looked at Perry. "Hey? Agent P, what happened? Did I... black out or something? You probably hit my head or something from that tackle." Pause. "... Agent P? Agent P?"

Despite Peter being back to normal, Perry still felt paralyzed and stared off into space with those same fear-induced eyes. He didn't dare to move until Doofenshmirtz came back.

--

I'm not trying to make Peter the bad guy, trust me, he isn't! Dr. Allan is! He's just got a split personality from the trauma of turning into a human for the first time. It's not his fault!

Sorry for taking so long with this chapter. School's been taking up my time, I have a baby to take care of, and I also babysit my little brother a lot. If you want to see updates from me, go to my profile and check my homepage on deviantART. I update a lot there, so press F5 for updates.