Robin had no curtains. In the morning the sun would pour in like an avalanche down a mountain, so he was always awake at the crack of dawn. That's how Raven knew that it was evening when she awoke. The room was drenched in cool blue, the color of a fading day. At first she thought that she had woken up after four hours of sleep. But she felt rested and his clock told her that it was 6p.m..

It didn't surprise her. She hadn't had more than three hour's sleep in the past four days. She also hadn't showered… or brushed her teeth… or combed her hair… or done anything somewhat related to cleanliness. So she sat on the edge of his bathtub, turned the knobs of hot and cold water until it reached the hottest temperature that wouldn't burn her skin, and grabbed a comb. The knots snagged and pulled violently, making her eyes squint and her teeth clench in the stinging pain. But eventually, the knots gave way and let the comb pass through. She placed the comb back in the cabinet and slid into the bath, snakelike, her body following her feet in a fatigued wave of motion.

Raven took a breath as deep as she could muster and her head fell underwater, the strands of violet hair floating to and fro around her face. She felt all the pressure of the water on top of her, closing her in.

Suffocating.

With a splash she resurfaced, pushing her hair out of her face, the reminiscent ghost of his fingers brushing against her cheek.

A quick shampoo and condition and she was out, her guilt crashing and raw.

It was about time she stopped running from the truth. She was tired and weary, at the end of her rope, like a cancer victim losing the battle. This she couldn't deny: she was a mess. But she was a Titan, a fighter, a protector.

So she had to grit her teeth and deal with it.

Raven carelessly pulled a grey shirt and some sleepshorts out of his dresser and dressed, her mind too far off to realize the fact that she was wearing his clothes. Taking a deep, preparing breath, she realized she smelled like him, both like soap and skin.

She left, feet bare.

She never truly noticed how big the tower was, how it seemed to sprawl on forever. It was so big when everyone was healthy.

She felt lost among the hallways.

"Fu- Raven! Rae!"

Raven turned slowly to the all-too-familiar voice, fist clenched, shoulders tight and guarding.

"Hey, Chase. What's up?"

Chasen jogged up to her, his chain bracelet jingling with each step.

"Star was trying to find you, but… you sort of disappeared for the night. Where did you go? We looked all over for you."

She bit her lips to control her flushing face.

"Just a walk around the tower. I couldn't sleep. We much have missed each other."

"I guess that would make sense," he smiled. "It's a pretty big house."

"Yeah," she nodded stoically, not knowing how to revive the staling conversation.

Chasen shifted, uncomfortable, scratching an arm or tapping his foot. "Do you think I could maybe talk to you before hand? Just to settle a few things? I mean, last time, you sort of… rang my neck-"

"Wrung. Wrung your neck."

"Right. So there's obviously a lot of tension that's occurred between us over these few weeks. So I just wanted to make sure things are chill between us."

Raven sighed lowly, no energy left in her soul. "I don't even know, Chase. I have to be honest with you; I just don't trust you. You aren't a committed person by nature. You're an ass, you're self-obsessed. The exact type of person Star can't handle is who you are. And trying to bring up our old ties is cruel to her and me."

He shook his head, eyes closed in confusion.

"See, you just changed again."

"Meaning?"

"Hardly a week ago, you were all peaceful, almost normal. Like, your hands moved when you talked, your voice got angry or you frowned or your eyebrows twitched. …But you're a rock again. What happened to that Raven? The one that didn't look like she hated me."

"Reality caught up w-"

"I'm serious."

"So am I," she barked.

"Fine! Look. ……Look. I'm sorry about what I said. About him. I didn't like him because I was jealous. He… Robin… just got you. Robin wasn't scared of you. And you weren't scared of him and… smiled with him and touched him! I never got that from you. I don't want you back. There's too mixed up shit in you life for me. But I am. Sorry, that is…"

Raven stared as if she was looking through him, searching for the tricks he played. But she supposed it was even too cruel for Chasen to play games at a time like this.

"Is he ok," he asked carefully.

"I don't know."

He drew back from the curtness of her words, the hostility and hurt, felt the biting pain of her constantly confused and mangled heart, forever doomed to a life unfortunate and sorrowful.

"What did Star want to talk to me about?"

"Nothing. Nevermind."

"No," she said, her voice now softer, grabbing his elbow in the palm of her hand. "I'm sorry. What was it?"

He grinned and scratched his neck guiltily.

"Honestly… nothing. I needed an excuse to talk to you without you running away," Chasen admitted sheepishly. "To apologize, I suppose, for being such a bitchy pest. I really do want to be friends… like, I know things were rough when we we're together, but I like you, yeah? And I guess Robin seems cool."

She gave a short half-smile. "He's a great leader."

Chase stepped back and stared at her, rubbing his eyes of the drowsiness of a lazy day, trying to understand the situation that lay before him. The undeniable connection between the two that she herself was denying was so vivid and bright, almost alive itself, almost tangible.

"You know it's more than that. I know that it's more than that. And I know that no one else will tell you this because you're fragile right now. But I will. Robin's… he's hurt, he's in a really bad state, and I'm not saying he won't survive, because he is getting better… but I just… he's not good. And if something should happen and you won't admit what you already feel, there's going to be a shitload of burdens on your shoulders. I may not know how he got hurt, but I know you're avoi-"

"It was my fault."

"Wh-… Rae, I didn't say that," he said quietly staring her eyes.

"No, I mean it really was my fault. I lost control. I got emotional when I hadn't meditated for days. I put Robin in a coma. If he dies, it's his blood on my hands. "

She looked towards the ground silently, her misery escaping her body and filling the room, quickly becoming present in the air.

"I have to go," she sighed. "It's about time I face this."

"Sh-should I… would you like me to come?"

"No," she shook her head, "Star must be wondering where you are. I'll be fine."

"Sure?"

"I'm sure."

He smiled softly at her and awkwardly patted her arm, not sure how to make contact with out seeming caddish. Nonetheless, he left whistling softly, retreating to Starfire's room where safety was sure.

Raven remembered what life was like with him, back when she was fifteen and impressionable, when she was fresh and ready for adventures. Back when she liked Jump City. He seemed to like her more than anyone ever had before, so she was much more wiling to put up with the infidelity. But even being tolerant as she was, loving him as she did, she was always dissatisfied, unhappy. So she left him to woo other women and went on her way as if she never knew him at all.

But she couldn't do that with Robin. She was in too deep and drowning in strangling guilt. She had put down her guard and her roots for him to see and with those belongings left in his hands she was afraid to leave.

So she hugged her torso as she walk to the infirmary and hoped for the best.

Ready for the shock, Raven pulled open the door, bracing herself for the blow. And it was right for her to do so.

Covered from head to toe in bruises, cuts, and scrapes, Robin looked like a victim of torture and disease, like every breath he took would be his last.

The sorceress turned away, her stomach sick, and pressed the intercom button, asking about his vitals and how long it would be before he was awake.

"He had a lot of internal bleeding and a few broken bones, but we already took care of that with the operations," the static voice told her, pouring from the machine. "He still has a concussion, but it's mild by way of concussions go. Now, mainly just external injuries and with medication and antibiotics he should be fine. So I would say three maybe two days until he's awake."

Raven, shocked, let go of the button.

"But Chasen told me…" But then she remembered that he had tricked her into talking to him, so she wouldn't have been surprised if that was a trick as well.

He still cared.

Speaking once more to the supervising nurse, she asked, "So he'll live. He's stable. Correct?"

"He's stable, vitals are good. Responding well to the medication as well. He's really in fantastic shape and very healthy, so I'm not surprised if he wakes up before I predicted. I've had cases much worse than his on civilians."

"……You are hiding something from me. Don't you know I'm an empath? Or did they tell you to lie to me?"

The one-way-mirror shook and collapsed, quietly falling into a cascade of silver shards. The nurse, middle aged and plain, flinched, shut-eyed and terrified.

"I h-haven't lied."

"But you are hiding something from me."

"The girl told me not to say."

"You will tell me!" Raven seethed, her anger so pure and voluptuous, the woman's hair stood on end.

The nurse spoke quickly, "The clown, Mumbo, took damage, couldn't survive, something went wrong…with… with his organs. …One lung was punctured… there was brain damage and …heart failure. His immune system was inactive."

Raven swallowed a breath she had held for what seemed like centuries and let a few tears of relief slip to her chin. If that had been Robin… If that had been Robin she couldn't live, and she knew she should have felt at least remorse, for taking a life due to her own abandon. Yet her relief was so strong, her hatred for the jester so deep, that she could feel no sympathy or guilt. Mumbo had pushed her to the edge, picked and dissected her control, her self-restraint. His own hubris brought it upon himself.

He played with fire and suffered.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. I would be very thankful if I could have some privacy, however."

Grateful for her chance for freedom, the nurse fled.

Raven closed her eyes and muttered a few words and the broken glass lifted from the floor, pieced itself together, and slid back into place, looking as If it had never before been touched.

"I guess that I need to start meditating again, now that your brain-dead test is over. How could you put yourself at so much risk?" She took a seat next to his cot, watching the heart monitor steadily spike and fall. "I don't care if you're okay now. I don't care if it's only external now, you could have been the one with their innards torn to shreds! I know that it's your style to fight with all you have, to protect with your life, it's your job to do so, your passion. But to be so stupid as to run into a situation where it's more likely that you'll get killed is moronic and childish."

Staring, she noticed how still Robin was, and began to realize how pointless it was to talk to him.

"Pathetic. I'm talking to a breathing machine."

Still, the words bottled up were pushing at her throat.

"So be it. I don't care. It's not like I can ever get a good conversation out of anyone else in this labyrinth. I know that they aren't stupid, even though the boys act like it and Starfire has as much knowledge of our customs as a snail. They just can't seem to have a conversation that doesn't involve something out of their wake. It has become increasingly difficult to maintain captivating dialogues about either mustard or my ex-boyfriend. …They're doing well, Chasen and Star. He's been loyal to her since she's completely benign. Hasn't pressured her for anything, is really nice to her… he taught her how to not choke someone when kissing them… so that's a good deed for humanity. ……"

"…… Come on Robin, just wake up. I know I pushed you to it, by saying what I said to you. That I wouldn't need you, or that I didn't care or want you. I was scared, Robin. I was scared. I admit it, I was scared. You're the fucking best anyone has ever been to me," she whispered sadly, her fingers grazing his stitch marked cheek. "I didn't want another damn tragedy. I didn't want more hurt. I didn't want to be hurt by you, even though you have cared for me more than anyone else in my life. But I ended up hurting you. I do need you. I will always need you, want you, and feel for you. And I'm sorry for causing you such grief."

The breathing machine echoed about the room statically, reminding her of her sins. She gulped and coughed softly, and wiped her face clean of the sadness. She put on a brave face and scanned for damage, only to smirk at that lack of it.

So things were gradually returning to normal.

She sat by him for a few more hours, just sitting, talking to him. It was mainly to calm her nerves and soothe her guilt; seeing his bruised, stitched face and cut skin was unnerving. But it was good to see him, to know that he was breathing and that recovery wasn't far off.

The other Titans had come in to check on him as well, but left soon seeing Raven there, eyes red and puffy.

They didn't know that they were tears of comfort and self-forgiveness.

And with an inkling of curiosity, she closed her eyes gently and leaned over to kiss him, sweetly brushing her lips against his, pleading silently for the return. But he was asleep.

"I should have known that heroines can't break curses," she sighed. "That's fine. Fairytales are foolish anyhow."

Lips pressed together, heart light with the release of her burdens, Raven left the room to return to his, anxious for his awakening and the sound of his voice.

Maybe I am ready for this, she thought with a smile.