Heart of the Realm: Sleepless
I have been awake for three days unsleeping and without knowing why. My duties have all been met, and I am at a point now that is in between projects, before I have settled my sights upon any new one in particular. What is it then that is keeping me awake, or am I simply depriving myself out of habit? So rigorous are my studies! And even then when my assignments are complete, it is as though I cannot stop myself. My mind races, I read on, take further notes than is necessary, my handwriting fast and legible to none but myself, my heart beats only so that I can keep absorbing knowledge, I hold my breath at the turn of each page. I stay up too late, then go to bed and lay awake in awe of what I have learned, breathless and fervently pondering new applications for everything I have come to know. I do not feel tired, but for various dull sensations that specific parts of my body are wearing down. This unsettles me, because the first thing to hurt is always my head, and there're moments sometimes that I'm not sure I haven't just had a minor stroke. What does a stroke feel like, anyway?
Now, however, I am in limbo. Everything is still. I have not yet selected and begun a new journey for which I will sacrifice myself. In other words, this is my time to relax. (And, especially, to concentrate on regaining my health!) The only question I'm allowing myself to ponder is: Why haven't I done so, while precious time is dwindling?
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AN: I didn't even mention his name, but you know who this is. :)