Mmm, oh, traveler
What have you seen?
Were there crossroads
Where you been, where you been?
I once was standing tall
Now I feel my back's against the wall

May I stand unshaken
Amid, amidst a crashing world

- "Unshaken", by D'Angelo

A month or so after I'd moved into my apartment, Liam Meyer took over as the new bartender for the bar I lived above. For all his German last name, his face and coloring were Slavic: dusky skin, dark hair, though not quite as dark as mine – wide cheekbones, and a narrow but sensual mouth. He wasn't tall or bulky, but he carried himself with a presence that lent him an air of authority that came in handy considering his line of work. When we'd first met, he'd been fresh out of the Marines, his rich brown eyes, a shade or two darker than mine, wild and wary of anything that was even the slightest bit out of place.

Between having a steady job and semiregular therapy, Liam had mellowed out a bit, enough for us to get to know each other over time. We'd been dating a little over a year now, but neither of us were in any rush to progress things further. Truth be told, we'd fallen into bed first before we'd fell for each other. His relationship baggage was like mine, minus the vampirism aspect, and with that came the mutual understanding that we had all the time in the world to do whatever it was we wanted to do.

"You didn't answer your phone," Liam asked when I picked up, his voice softer than the first snowfall in winter. "Is everything alright?"

"My phone died," I said quickly, glancing over my shoulder at the two still as death vampires staring at me from the living room. "And I ended up staying later at the garage later than I expected. When I got home, I fell asleep on the couch and forgot to let you know I'd come over tomorrow instead."

There was a pregnant pause and I knew he didn't believe a word of what I'd just said. I was a horrible liar, and the whole practice made me feel bad, so I very rarely even tried. It didn't help that Liam was essentially a human lie detector – apparently even over the phone."

"Are you alright? You sound stressed."

I nodded before I remembered he couldn't see it. "Yeah."

There was a deep exhalation on his end, like he'd been holding a tense breath and I realized that he'd been worried about me. He'd always been slightly over protective of me after I told him about Edward, and confided in him how I was afraid he or his family might seek me out. "Good. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

I glanced back at the vampires again and my chest tightened strangely at Jasper's blank face. "Yeah, I'm taking the day off. It's been a long couple of weeks and I need the break."

"You should have let me get you some help," Liam said with a hum of disapproval. "I told you that you were going to stretch yourself too thin."

"I told you I could handle it." I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. "And I have, just fine."

"That was never in question, Isa," he replied, gently. The familiar warm feeling in my gut when he used that tone with me bloomed and I turned my head to hide the slight smile from the vampires who still stared at me. "You're a strong independent woman, that was never in question. But you tend to take on more than is good for you simply for the sake of independence."

"If that's the worst thing about me, I guess that's okay. I could be a gambling addict instead," I joked, twirling my fingers through the long coiled cord as I leaned my hip against the counter. "Sounds like you lucked out, Meyer."

"It can be just as dangerous as any addiction, Isa," Liam said seriously. "But you are right. I was very, very lucky to be the one to catch your eye."

I felt rather than heard the growl from behind me and it spurred me into action to cut this short. We said our goodbyes, and I avoided both bloody gazes as I tripped over my parting 'I love you' before hanging the phone up on the hook.

Jasper's strong voice cut the silence first. "Who was that Isabella?" There was a slight emphasis on my full name I couldn't place but I was too tired and high strung to break that down.

"My boyfriend, Liam." I put both hands on my hips as I stared him down, chocolate brown locked with deep oxblood. "Going to run a background check on him, Whitlock?"

"Yes," he said, taking me by surprise. He took advantage of my silence to continue, "He's an unknown, and I don't tolerate unknowns when it comes to those I've –"

I slapped my hand against the counter, "Those you've what? I'm not some toy to be fought over, Jasper! I barely know you, and know even less about him," I stabbed a finger at Peter, "but somehow you think you can just barge back into my life because you think you have some sort of claim on it?"

Jasper drew himself to his full height then, and in the low-ceilinged space of my cramped trailer he seemed even bigger and broader than he actually was. The weak overhead light cast strange shadows over his beautiful face, and I was suddenly, acutely aware that these weren't normal men. These were full grown, human killing vampires and for all that I had gotten stronger, I was still very, very much human.

"Yes, I do, actually," he said softly, slowly closing the distance between us. "Because that's how the vampire world – our world - works." He braced both hands on the counter between us, leaning forward so that his face was close to mine. "You are a human who's had the misfortune to attract the attention of more vampires than you realize. Do you know what would happen if Peter and I were to leave you alone?"

I had a guess, but I really didn't want to know. He told me anyway. "They would come for you, curious to see what the fuss was about. Best case scenario, you would be changed, dragged into a world you think you know against your will and wouldn't even be able to escape because your sire will be unable to let you go. And even then, that's not a guarantee, because some sires simply don't have the patience to guide their newborns and will rid themselves of them."

He cocked his head, clearly reading my emotions before continuing. "The worst-case scenario, as you may have guessed, is that they kill you. If you're lucky, it'll be quick. If you're not…" he dragged his eyes from my head to my feet and back up in a lascivious dressing down that was so out of place on the Jasper I knew. "Humans are fragile. One would hope it wouldn't hurt to much, but most vampires don't care about the opinions of their meal."

My heart was pounding, and I wanted to put more distance between myself and Jasper, but I was frozen in place. I was nervous, bordering on afraid, and could feel the tears starting to well in my eyes when Peter appeared behind him, and with a rough hand on his shoulder, yanked him back.

"Enough," he hissed, a fine mist of venom spraying in Jasper's face as he went toe to toe with his brother. "You've made your point."

Jasper bared his teeth and my mouth fell open with surprise as I saw fangs. I gasped, jerking back when both blond heads snapped to look at me instead.

"You've got fangs," I said.

Peter looked at me like I'd suddenly sprouted two heads. "We're vampires, sugar," he said slowly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I know that." I replied quickly. "But Edward said you guys were venomous, that the fangs were a myth." I was proud of myself for not stumbling over his name, not too long ago, I hadn't been able to say it, let along trip over it.

Jasper rolled his eyes, and it was unfair how attractive he made that look. "'Course he did. I bet he a said a lot of things so as not to scare you."

And because my mouth obviously felt like it was lonely without my foot in it, I blundered on and asked, "Can I see them?"

They glanced at each other with a curious look, having that same silent conversation as before, then back at me. Jasper around Peter to stand in front of me, again almost close enough to touch. I leaned toward him, drawn in by his scent; there was the underlying cold smell of vampire but over that I could smell a melody of Texas wildflowers and the desert after it rained, with a mysterious bite to it that was almost peppery and spicy. It warmed the back of my throat as I breathed it in, heating me up from the inside. It was sensual.

His hands came up to cradle my face oh so gently, and I leaned toward him like a blossom towards the sun.

And then he smiled, a slow, creeping, wicked smile that had my toes curling against my peeling laminate floor. It took some effort to tear my eyes away from his and I watched as his razor sharp-looking canines extended. I leaned in to get a closer look and had the errant thought that it was probably a good thing they were retractable, because it'd probably hurt if I sliced my tongue on one of them.

Almost as if he'd read my mind, the fangs receded as his dipped his head toward me, and to my alarm I realized he was going for a kiss but was stopped by Peter's loud clearing of his throat. Jasper stiffened, but pulled away, his hands coming to rest at his sides in loose fists.

"Does that answer your question?" Jasper asked, and I was momentarily thrown by how reasonable his voice sounded while I was still coming down from our intense moment.

I braced myself one-handed against the counter and nodded, my other hand pressed firmly over my heart as I willed it to slow down. I was going to die of heart-failure by vampire at this rate, and not because they drained it dry of blood.

"It's late," he continued after a moment, then reached into his pocket to pull out a slim black cell phone, which he then slid across the counter to me. "If you don't mind, I'd like to have your number."

I pulled out my phone and switched it on, before sliding him my phone as well, and punched in my contact details into his phone, as well as the phone Peter slid in front of me. It felt a little surreal, doing something so normal as swapping phone numbers with two essentially supernatural creatures and to my exhausted mind it was much funnier than it actually was.

"Be safe going home," I said out of habit as I walked them out, leaning against the door jamb. I then realized as I scanned the area, that the only vehicle in the lot was mine. "Did you run here?"

"How did you think we got here so fast?" Peter asked with a teasing grin.

I pointed down my drive lane and said, "Go, please, I'm begging you. I need to sleep."

"So eager to dream of me?" Peter continued and Jasper rolled his eyes and slapped him upside the head.

"Christ, Peter." After throwing me one last look, Jasper hooked a hand around the protesting Peter's bicep and then they were gone, so fast that they weren't even a blur.

As I stared at the empty space behind them, my heart panged with loneliness, and I felt the ragged edges of the hole I thought had healed flare slightly with pain I had worked so hard to repress.

Alone at last, I decided there was only one remedy for a night like this. My stash of dark chocolate was gone, and I'd eaten the last gingersnap, so I turned on the over and pulled out the mixing bowl. I was pouring chocolate chips into the cookie dough when I found myself pondering my relationship.

I knew I loved Liam, but there was a difference between the love between the two of us and the nearly palpable affection between the wolves and their imprints. Vampires had a similar concept. Alice had called them true mates. My battered heart was still sweet on the idea of soulmates, even after all it'd been through when I thought Edward had been mine. But whereas the relationship between Edward had been unbalanced, the wolves and their imprints were in perfect sync. Watching them was like watching a fairytale come to life, and while I didn't want to be any of the wolves' imprint (we were all family by this point, blood be damned) I knew I wanted what they had.

Liam was safe. He had kind eyes and warm hands, and his constant steadiness was good for me on the occasional days I felt like I was going to fly apart. Our love was a quiet kind of love, but a little rebellious part of me wanted something more. I wanted to be loved wildly, without abandon, with passion and –

Jasper's bloody eyes flashed through my mind, and I clenched my hands into fists, my nails digging deep into my skin.

I finished mixing in the chips and began dropping cookie dough on the pans, and once it was full, put the first pan in the oven and started loading the next one.

For a moment, I hated Edward. I hated that he was my first love and that he'd been more first foray into romance, because he was a lesson for everything I did and didn't want. He'd been too careful, so cautious to the point of controlling everything about my life down to what and when I ate. I hated that my first glimpse of love had a been a vampire who sucked at being a vampire.

I wanted everything that was bad for me. I wanted to be loved wild, and what was more wild, more passionate than a vampire true to their nature?

When the first pan was done, I replaced it with the second one. I ate some of the cookies and loaded a plate covered with tinfoil to give to Liam, as well as another for my boss, Vanessa.

I took my time cleaning my kitchen, taking care to put everything away just so. I then gave Sadie a treat before following her back to the bedroom when I crawled into bed on top of the covers and curled up on my side. Rather than curl up at my feet, she came up and laid down behind me, the long line of her body pressed warmly against my back and let out a long, satisfied sigh.

The tears soon came unbidden, and I cried myself to sleep, curling further in on myself as I tried not to fall apart all over again.

A/N: Look. I can deal with sparkles. I can deal with the ridiculous OP-ness of the vampires. But I cannot abide them not having fangs.