This chapter is dedicated to Sylia91. Thanks, as always, to Soar, JuliaAurelia and Sinead-Conlan. Dean's story In the Company of Dragons belongs to Ridley C. James.
Chapter 7.
Disclaimer: I still don't own.
"I'm here, Dean. I'm not going anywhere, kiddo, you can count on that," John vowed to his son, and was determined to keep it.
John Winchester was not proud to say that he had kept that promise for exactly 12 hours.
The remainder of that day had been spent at the hospital. The only time John had left was to go pick Sam up from school, and the two of them had spent the rest of the day visiting with Dean.
Then, when he had gotten home, things had gone down hill, fast.
He had made the mistake of checking the mailbox. The only thing it contained was bills. The phone company and his credit card company were both threatening suspension if he didn't pay the due balance. He wasn't too worried about the credit card, it was maxed, and couldn't be used anyway. The phone was a different story. He couldn't be without one in case the hospital needed to contact him. He nearly fainted when he saw how much the power bill was. He now understood why the heat was always so low. He was going to have to make arrangements to pay that because it was freezing outside, and they couldn't go without heat.
He also had the next payment of the hospital bill for Sam and Dean's treatment to pay, rent was coming due and they needed to eat, not to mention the bills he'd get when Dean started physical therapy.
John went to the fridge to grab a beer. He sent Sam to bed, sat down at the kitchen table and grabbed his check book.
His guilt was ever present when he wrote a check for the phone company, the power company, and one for the hospital. The money that was going to cover them was the last of Dean's prize money. He quickly calculated what he would make from his job and wrote a post dated check for the rent. Then the phone rang.
It had been his boss wondering what had happened, and why his receipts were so low for the day. John had to admit what had occured. He did catch one break when his boss, being a father himself, sympathized with John. He wasn't fired, but he did have to pay him back for what he had lost. His pay checks, which weren't that much to begin with, were going to be cut in half for the next couple of weeks.
He voided the rent check he had just written and wrote out one for half of that amount. He would talk to the landlord in the morning to see if he could pay the rest next week.
He did a revised budget and he realized that he was well and truly screwed. There was nowhere he could cut back. The only way he was going to be able to do this was to get a second job, which meant breaking the vow he had made to both his sons. He remembered that he had been looking forward to spending time with both his sons while Dean was recovering. Now, he was going to be working in the morning, in the evenings and a third job on weekends might even be necessary. He couldn't fall behind on the hospital payments. He'd heard horror stories about people being released early because they couldn't pay, and there was no way he was jeopardizing Dean's recovery.
When he went to bed that night, John pulled out the picture of Mary that he kept in his wallet. For the first time ever, he didn't wish that she was here. He was glad that she wasn't, so she couldn't see the mess he'd made of things. She would be so disappointed in him.
------
Being worried had really interfered with John's sleep habits, he had spent all night tossing and turning, and in the end, had only slept for about an hour. So to say he was not in a good mood when he got up the next morning was definitely an understatement.
Things went from bad to worse that morning. He had forgotten to set the alarm, and the small amount of time he actually did sleep, had been during the time he should have been up, so he was running behind. Sam had announced that he had no clean clothes, and there were no clean dishes for breakfast. That was when John realized just how messy the house was. It was something that grated on John's order loving nerves. He made a mental note that he was going to have to get to it sometime this weekend.
Then he couldn't find his keys and the phone started ringing. The first call had been the phone company, the second had been his credit card company. The third time the phone rang, it had gotten on his last nerve.
"The checks in the mail!"he screamed at the poor operator on the other end.
"Dad?" came a timid voice from the other end.
"Dean?" John questioned.
"Yeah, is this a bad time?"
"No, kiddo, 'course not," John said trying to soften his tone. "How are you feeling this morning?"
"Fine," Dean said and didn't elaborate. "Maybe I should call back," he suggested.
"Don't hang up," John ordered. "It's just, I have to get to work, and I don't want Sam to be late for school and..."
"You lost your keys again. Did you check the refrigerator?"
"The fridge?" John said in disbelief. "I didn't leave them in the fridge, Dean. Maybe they nee..." John stopped abruptly. He had been about to say that maybe they needed to cut back on Dean's pain meds, but he didn't need to give Dean an excuse to open that can of worms again. "They're not in the fridge," he insisted.
"Bet you went home last night, and the first thing you did was go to the fridge for a beer. Did you have your keys in your hands?" Dean asked confidently.
"Sammy," John called. "Do me a favour, check the fridge, see if there's anything unusual in there."
"Hey, dad," Dean called to get his father's attention. "Are you going to be able to visittonight?" he asked, trying to keep his tone neutral.
Even being a lousy father, John picked up on the fact that Dean was trying to hide that he was lonely. It just about killed him. "I, um, I can't," he said.
"That's okay," Dean replied, trying to sound like it was.
"It's not that, Dean. I picked up a double shift today," John lied. He didn't want to admit he was going hunting for a second job. "I should be able to visit for a few minutes after I drop Sammy off this morning."
"No problem. Do you think you could bring me some more magazines?"
"Don't you have school work?" John deflected. He literally didn't have the money for magazines.
"I'm all caught up, except for what you bring me today," Dean said proudly. "I'm even ahead in math."
"What about those books I brought?" John asked.
"I read 'em. I even read the ones you bought Sam."
"You can work on those puzzles," John said, trying to come up with a suggestion that didn't involve him buying anything.
"They're way too easy, and way too boring," Dean replied.
"So you have nothing to do this morning?" John asked. This was not good.
"No, not until you bring me my school assignments," Dean replied. "They usually only take an hour."
John couldn't say that he felt Dean should spend more time on his school work. His assignments were getting A's and B's. "Write me another chapter of your story," he requested.
"My what?"
"In the Company of Dragons."
"It's done," Dean replied. "You said you read it."
John cursed himself. Dean sounded hurt. "I did," he insisted. "I know the dragons won, but expand on something. What about the time Athewm, Belac and Samuel spent at the fair?" There was a spot in the story where the three skipped training and spent the day at a carnival. "Why was Samuel afraid of clowns after you returned?"
"I guess," Dean replied hesitantly.
"Oh, and Dean?"
"Yeah dad?"
"I want it written in Latin."
"Latin?" Dean asked in disbelief.
"Yes, Latin," John said, pleased that he had come up with a way to keep Dean occupied.
"Yes, sir," Dean said with a sigh. "Tell Sammy I'll see him tomorrow."
"Dean, Sam's going to be there today, after school."
"It's Friday. Isn't he going to the movies with his friends?" Dean asked in confusion. Sam, Tom and Mark went to the movies every Friday. He had guessed Sam would be going tonight because he was feeling better.
"No," John replied, trying to sound like he knew what Dean was talking about. "He said he would stay with you tonight," he lied.
"Really?" Dean asked. His tone was a mixture of surprise, pleasure and disbelief, like he wanted to believe it, but wasn't sure if he did.
"Yeah," John said. "I'll be there in about an hour, and I'll drop Sam off at the usual time."
"Kay, see you later, dad," Dean replied, hoping his dad hadn't picked up on the fact that Dean really hated being alone.
"See ya, kiddo," John replied hanging up the phone.
"Hey, dad, I found your keys," Sam said as he came around the corner. "They were in the fridge next to the beer. What?" he suddenly added when he felt his father glaring at him.
"Something you need to tell me?" John asked.
"Um," Sam said, trying to wrack his brain to figure out what his father was talking about.
"Something about a movie that you think you're going to tonight?" John prompted his son.
"I go every Friday night. I was going to ask you if I could go tonight," Sam defended himself.
"The answer's no," John replied.
"But I go every Friday," Sam repeated.
"I need you to stay with your brother," John answered. "I have to work a double today, so I can't visit him for more than a few minutes to drop off his assignments. I'd really prefer it if he wasn't left by himself all day." That was one excuse, the other one being that movies cost money.
"We were with him almost all day yesterday. He won't care about one day," Sam pleaded his case.
"You had a basketball game yesterday, and look at what happened," John reminded Sam.
"That's not my fault," Sam pointed out. "Dean said it was an accident and I think he learned his lesson."
"Samuel, you're going to the hospital after school. Enough, now let's go, you're going to be late for school as it is."
"So he screws up and I pay the price?" Sam huffed as he grabbed his backpack, and slammed through the front door, not even holding it for his father.
"Does the word grounded mean anything to you?" John snapped back after he and Sam climbed into the car. He could feel a headache developing, and the day hadn't really even started.
"I don't see what difference it makes. I don't get to do anything, anyway."
John's fingers tightened on the steering wheel. "Samuel, that's enough," he said tensely. "One more word and for the next month, there will be no friends, phone calls, basketball games, television and whatever the hell else you do."
"I repeat," Sam said boldly. "How is that any different from now?"
"Damn it, Sam, that's it. Make it two months."
That was the last words that father and son spoke to each other.
------
"This sucks," Dean said as he scribbled out another paragraph. He really didn't want to be doing this. That story had been a one shot deal. Now he had to write more, and in Latin, no less. He really didn't want his father knowing the full story behind why Sam was afraid of clowns. His dad would probably break his other leg if he knew the full story behind the prank he and Caleb had pulled.
"Hey, man, that looks like it does suck," a voice called from the doorway.
Dean looked up and saw a boy about his own age standing in the doorway. He looked vaguely familiar to the young hunter.
"This?" Dean asked pointing to the traction frame.
"Yeah, does it hurt?" he asked the inevitable question.
Dean shrugged. "Not too much, as long as I don't move it." Justin, that was it. He worked in the student resource room with Dean.
"Must be nice lying in bed all day," Justin said.
"It has its moments," Dean admitted. "But it gets boring fast."
"Hope it's okay that I came to visit you," Justin said hesitantly.
"Why wouldn't it?" Dean asked, hoping he didn't sound too curious. He had said hi to Justin a few times, but he didn't know him that well. The boy kept to himself mostly. He tutored math, like Dean, in addition to English, history, and social studies. He was probably the smartest kid in Dean's class. He had always reminded Dean a lot of Sam.
"It's just… I wanted to see how you were doing. I think Shelly misses you," Justin said.
Shelly had been a girl that Dean had been tutoring. She was on the cheerleading team, and seemed a lot more interested in flirting with her tutor than actually learning.
"Thanks for coming," Dean said sincerely.
"Hey, I read this," Justin said picking up the copy of Brave New World that had been sitting on Dean's bed.
"It was good," Dean admitted. "It was my dad's favourite book when he was a kid."
"Wish we had some Soma for Parrish's class," Justin said naming their social studies teacher. The man could put an insomniac to sleep. Soma was the drug people took in the book that kept them in a happy, dream like state.
Dean laughed and had to agree. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Dean asked.
Justin shrugged. "I took a mental health day."
"Your parents let you?" Dean asked in surprise. He went to school, not just for mental health, but physical as well. They had to stay off the radar of social services, and going to school was a big part of that. If he took a day off without a good reason, his father would have killed him.
"Yeah, once in a while, I just need a break, mom understands that."
"What do you need a break from?" Dean asked.
"Just school. There are some guys on the football team whose grades are below passing. They seem to think I should just do their work for them, rather than coming to tutoring. I try to avoid them, but sometimes it's not easy," Justin confessed. "When do you get out of here?" he asked changing the subject. He wasn't sure why he had confessed that.
Actually, Justin wasn't sure why he was here at all. He had needed something to do, and on the spur of the moment, he had decided to come by the hospital. Justin knew Dean vaguely. Like himself, Dean didn't have many friends and he kept to himself mostly. He had just decided to take a chance. He had been in the hospital once, to have his appendix removed, and he knew how long the days were.
"Not soon enough," Dean replied. "Thanks for coming, though," he said sincerely. "I was bored out of my mind."
"No big deal. I can stay for a bit," he suggested timidly.
"Great, thanks man," Dean replied. He would have accepted the company of a demon at that point, he was so bored.
"Have you read the Lord of the Rings?"
"No. My brother has though."
"It's the best book ever written. I can loan it to you. It should kill some time while you're in here," Justin offered.
"Sure," Dean agreed. "My brother swears by it. I did read The Hobbit, though."
"That was a classic. What's your favourite book?"
"One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," Dean said immediately. "Did you read that one?"
"No, not yet."
"I can loan it to you, if you want," Dean offered.
------
John was rapidly coming to the conclusion that working in a convenience store sucked. He'd had a confrontation with one customer over the price of milk. The guy had been convinced that John had doubled the price and was pocketing the difference. He caught a kid shoplifting. The boy was no older than Sam, and John had decided to just put the fear of God into him, rather than calling the police. The boy had gone home in tears. His mother had then shown up, and rather than being grateful that John hadn't had her son arrested, she had torn a strip off the hunter, making it sound like John's fault that her kid was a thief.
Plus, John jumped every time the phone rang. He was expecting it to be the hospital, saying something was wrong with Dean. He just couldn't wait until Dean was released. He'd feel more comfortable if Dean was home.
He was never so glad to see a day end. He went to the school and picked up Sam. Tensions were still high between them and Sam refused to speak or look at him. He dropped Sam off at the hospital and told him that he'd be back to pick him up later. Sam's response was to slam the door.
-----
The youngest Winchester stormed into the hospital and into the elevator. He tried not to let his face show his frustrations though. Sam wasn't mad at his brother. After all, Dean would have let him go out with his friends.
The problem was that Sam didn't have Dean's poker face, and as soon as Dean saw him, he knew that Sam was in a bad mood, and it confirmed Dean's suspicions that being at the hospital wasn't Sam's first choice.
"Hey, Sammy, thanks for staying with me tonight," Dean replied, trying to keep frustration out his voice. He had been having a good day. Justin had stayed until supper, and it turned out that they had a lot in common. He had promised to visit tomorrow after school, and Dean found himself looking forward to the visit.
"How are you feeling?" Sam asked genuinely. He really did want his big brother to be alright.
"Fine," Dean replied. "Really, Sammy," Dean added when it looked like Sam was about to say something. "How was school?"
"Fine," Sam ground out in a much harsher tone than he'd meant to.
"You don't sound like it," Dean asked in concern before he could stop himself, his big brother instincts taking over.
It gave Sam the opening he had been waiting for. "He's impossible," Sam stated firmly.
"Sammy, please," Dean said softly. He wasn't up for an argument about their father.
"I just wanted to go to the movies. What's the big deal?" Dean's pleas had fallen on deaf ears.
"I thought... never mind," Dean started and then stopped. "Sammy, don't. Not today okay," Dean pleaded. He was feeling hurt that Sam had chosen to be with his friends. He knew he shouldn't, it was only one night, and Dean usually had a date on Friday nights. It was the one small amount of time he had allowed for himself. So it wasn't like they usually spent them together anyway.
"Why do you defend him all the time?"
"I'm not defending him. I'm just..."
"Good evening boys," Nurse Hatcher said interrupting Dean's thoughts as she stepped into the room. She gave Dean a quick exam, taking his vitals, and checking the stitches on his leg, and then she changed out his IV bag. "Ready, for this?" she asked Dean, as she held up a syringe.
"Just get it over with," Dean said as he held up the hand that had the IV. He hated this almost as much as he did the pain meds.
With his leg being immobilized, he was at risk for blood clots, so they gave him daily injections of something called heparin, which thinned the blood and kept it circulating. The damned stuff stung like a...
"Son of a bitch!" Dean cursed and squeezed his eyes shut when the medicine hit his bloodstream.
"Dean!" Sam said, all his frustrations with his father forgotten.
"I'm okay," Dean hissed. "It just stings for a few minutes. That's all, Sammy, I swear," Dean said honestly.
Sam looked to the nurse, who confirmed Dean's words.
It seemed to erase all the tension between the brothers.
Things would have been fine, except that John had one piece of good luck happen that day. His boss owned a second store on the other side of town. He told John that his night shift guy had quit, and if he wanted, he could pick up the extra shifts. John accepted gratefully. It didn't take him long to learn the new routine, and his boss told him that he could start tomorrow if he wanted to spend some time with his sons.
When he arrived at the hospital, Dean had been happy to see him, but Sam only saw the fact that John appeared to have lied to him. He had said that he was working a double, and that was why he wouldn't let Sam go to the movies.
"I thought you were working," was exactly how he greeted his father.
"I was," John explained trying to keep his temper in check. "My boss let me off early."
Sam opened his mouth to speak.
"Hey, dad," Dean said before Sam could say anything. "How was work?"
"Fine," he gave the standard Winchester answer when he didn't want to elaborate. "Did you get anything written?"
"No," Dean said defensively. "A guy I know from school stopped by for a visit. I didn't get chance. My homework is done, though. I'll try to get to it tomorrow."
"It's okay, son," John replied. "It was just a suggestion to keep you occupied."
"I left my IV alone today," Dean huffed, thinking his father was accusing him. "Yesterday was an accident, dad, I swear."
"Dean, calm down, okay? I believe you."
"I didn't do it intentionally," he couldn't resist adding.
"Enough. I said I believe you," John said, trying not to sound frustrated. It was bad enough that he and Sam were snapping at each other. He didn't need to do it with Dean too.
Things were a little tense between all three Winchesters. Dean turned on the TV to try and break the silence, but when a commercial for the movie Sam had wanted to see came on, all hell broke loose.
"I could have gone," Sam mumbled under his breath. He hadn't meant for his father to hear that, but of course, John did.
"Samuel," he warned.
"What? You told me I couldn't go because I had to stay and keep Dean company."
"Gee thanks, Sammy," Dean said sarcastically.
"That's not what I meant, Dean. I know you don't need a babysitter, but you know what?" he said looking directly at his dad. "I don't either. I'm 13."
"I know how old you are, Samuel," John said trying to keep his temper in check.
"I'm surprised, given how many birthdays you missed," Sam blurted out before he could stop himself. He really hadn't meant to say that.
John's temper snapped. He couldn't hold back anymore. "Okay, son, I screwed up. Is that what you want to hear? I'm not perfect."
"Tell me about it," Sam huffed.
"Stop," Dean said, his eyes going back and forth between his father and brother.
"Samuel, what I do, it's important, it saves lives."
"Then go save some," Sam shot back. "We don't need you here. Me and Dean do just fine without you."
"Don't bring me into this. Don't do this, not here, Sammy, dad," Dean said again, only to find himself ignored.
"I'm your father..."
"You're not there. Dean..."
"Dean follows orders!"
"Dad, Sammy," Dean said trying to get their attention. His words died on his lips at Sam's next words.
"Saint Dean, doesn't do anything wrong. I'm so sorry I can't be like him. I'm sorry I'm not some mindless robot that can't think for himself."
Dean flinched. Did Sam really look at him that way? He did what dad told him to because he had to keep his family safe. He knew first hand what happened if you didn't follow orders. People died. Dean listened as the fight continued. He tried to get their attention, but the voices of his father and his brother kept getting louder and louder. Dean tried to block out their words, as he usually did. There he was nothing he hated more than when his brother and his father fought over him. Dean was startled out of his thoughts when he heard his brother shout.
"I HATE YOU! DEAN WOULD HAVE LET ME GO!"
"GOD DAMN IT, SAMUEL. DEAN IS NOT YOUR FATHER, I AM!"
"What's going on in here?" an angry voice said from the hallway.
The Winchesters looked up and saw Dr. Curtis standing in the doorway with Nurse Hatcher and a security guard.
"I had the TV up too loud," Dean tried to cover.
"This is a hospital," Dr. Curtis admonished. "We have sick people here who are trying to recover. Your own son is one of them. I think you had better leave."
"I'm sorry," John tried to apologize.
"Leave now," Dr. Curtis said. "Or I won't hesitate to throw you out. Just thank your lucky stars I'm not barring you permanently.
"We're leaving," John conceded. He didn't want any more trouble. "Dean, I'm sorry. We'll be back tomorrow."
Dean grabbed the bar and pulled himself up so that he was propped on his elbows. He ignored the pain that flared in his leg. "No," Dean replied.
"Son, I didn't mean..."
Dean glared at his father. "You never mean for it to happen, but it always does. Just go away. Both of you!"
"Dean, I didn't mean to say..."
"You said it. I'm making up my mind, my mind, Sam. I don't want either of you here. Just go away. I don't want to hear you arguing about me. "
Dean squeezed his eyes shut and turned away from his father and brother. John tried to lay a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder, but he wasn't surprised when Dean shook it off. He was used to yelling at Sam, but he wasn't used to Dean getting mad, and the senior hunter was at a loss as to how to handle it.
"Alright, call me when you're ready, Dean," John said. How had things escalated so badly?
John and Sam left the room. They didn't fail to notice that the security guard walked closely behind them until they were out the door. Sam crawled into the back seat of the car as John took the driver's seat. Not a word was spoken on the way home.
When they arrived back at the house, Sam went straight to his room and slammed the door. John did the same. He sat on the bed and pulled the picture of Mary out of his wallet. He didn't try to stop the tears that escaped as he apologized to her, over and over. He had screwed up so badly, and he didn't even know where to begin to fix things.
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