16
Chapter 3
THIS IS SPARTA/ PIMP SLAPPED
BPV
Johnny breathed in and out slowly. He leaned forward and smiled, "So Bella, how's everything back at home in Forks?"
I sucked in a breath shocked. I countered quickly, "So Johnny, what are you exactly?"
The smile never left Johnny's ethereal face, "I asked you first, Bella."
I grimaced. How did he fucking know my name was Bella, and why did he keep smiling like that? "I haven't been in Forks in nearly a month. I don't really have a home anymore, unless you count the loft where Ian, Nick, and I lived, in downtown Seattle." Johnny grimaced at Ian's name. Why did I tell him so much? I needed to stop rambling. "Your turn, Johnny" I smirked.
He hesitated, but didn't drop his Cheshire grin, "Why don't you guess, Bella?"
Just like him, he couldn't answer a direct question. I snorted at the realization and responded, "Firstly, don't call me Bella. It's Izzy now. Secondly, I can better tell you what you're not." I paused and Johnny nodded giving me the "Ok". I continued. "Well, you are not human, or at least not completely human. You have many characteristic of a vampire: immortal beauty, cold skin, perfect voice, hypnotizing golden eyes, and pale skin, but they are all muted. You have the qualities, but they are not as strong as a vampire's. Plus…" I leaned across the table and pressed my hand against his chest, "your heart beats." I slowly sat back in my chair and nonchalantly took a sip of my beer, and never allowed my gaze to falter. Where did I get the nerve?
Johnny's smile beamed at me, "I've got a friend who would rip my hand off if I attempted the same contact with you."
My eyes widened, and I was sure he could see the question that was in my eyes, "And who would that be?" There were only seven vampires in the world that knew me, and they wouldn't give a fuck! "I can't imagine anyone who gives that much of a fuck about me."
Johnny laughed darkly, completely ignoring my comment once again. Did he have any idea how fucking frustrating that was? I could see understanding in his eyes, "I heard what Ian said, as he left. Is your little boyfriend always so possessive and jealous?"
It was my turn to laugh, "Ian? He is not my boyfriend. He is a loyal friend, and something much less appropriate for me to talk about." I didn't blush; instead I gave him a wry smile.
"Actually Bella, I was not speaking of Ian. He couldn't get close enough to me to rip my hand off and if he tried he would not survive. I was speaking of a relatively new acquaintance. He and I met in Denali a…."
Ed…him Johnny was speaking of him! Why would he say he would care? Why did he talk about me to Johnny Depp? I can't handle this. I can't have a discussion about him.
I interrupted, "Never mind Johnny, I don't want to hear who you're talking about. I am positive that there is no one of interest involved." I sighed and unwound my arms that I had unknowingly crossed, crushing my chest. "You have successfully dodged my question, and I was hoping you would enlighten me." I hoped he did not see my silent break down.
"Yes, it must be difficult for you to hear about Edward," he sympathized.
I hissed and leaned as far away from him as I could. I didn't want his pity. "I don't need your half-assed sympathy, Johnny. I am nothing like I used to be. I was weak, pitiful, and way too trusting…it will not happen again."
Johnny quirked up an eyebrow and paused as he chose his words carefully, "Edward was just as curious as you about me. You would not have believed his joy when he found out," Johnny grinned proudly.
"There are not many of my kind. Most vampires are incapable of the restraint involved or have never had the desire to restrain in the first place. You see, Bella…." I glared as he called me Bella once again. He simply smiled softly and continued, "I am both. I am human and a vampire. My father was a vampire and my mother was human. I'm a hybrid." He paused. The reality of his reveal slowly began to sink in. A human woman could conceive a child with a vampire.
What the fuck? I snapped out of my reverie when I realized he was still speaking. Behind the cool façade I could tell the memories were painful for him.
"My father disappeared leaving my mother pregnant. She died when I was born. I killed her." I barely noticed his poorly concealed flinch, "not intentionally but nonetheless she's dead. The Denali coven found me and raised me. I stopped aging at twenty. I use make-up to keep up the masquerade of aging for my career. I can't keep this up for much longer." He sipped his Jameson straight and absorbed my countenance.
A million questions ran through my head. I couldn't help stopping on the same one over and over. Ed…him. Why had that information made him happy? I shook my head, once again as I tried to clear my thoughts. I couldn't. All I saw was him. We were on the front porch of the Cullen house watching our son running, splashing in the creek. Our son! I choked on a sob. Were the same scenes flashing through his mind when he found out about Johnny? Was that why he was so happy? Before the tears fell, I opened my eyes, shook my head and raised my eyes wide and stared at the ceiling. I hoped that gravity would keep the flood of tears that were threatening to fall, locked in my tear ducts were they belonged. I shouldn't have fucking seen this. I ripped that part of my heart out years ago, when he erased me from his life…their lives. The fact that I could cry, if I wanted to, made me smile. I still had something left. I was not completely empty! But what the fuck did that mean, to feel something?
"Bella are you ok? I'm sorry. I should not have mentioned him." Johnny had moved to the seat next to me and was holding my hand. I lowered my head to look at him; my eyes were still welled with tears. "I'm so sorry. Please accept my apology." The worry in his eyes broke my stare.
"It's ok, Johnny. I actually think I've come to an epiphany, but I doubt it. At least I know now that I can feel something. I think I'm glad about that. Are you and he close?" The words slipped from my lips at a whisper that only someone with his hearing could have discerned. I twisted the knife. I was just a glutton for punishment.
"Actually we have become good friends recently. He is in pieces, and no one in the family understands. We actually discuss you a great deal. I recognized your name from your band's MySpace page, and I saw where you were from, which confirmed my thesis. Honestly, I wanted to meet the famous Bella Swan. I'd heard so much about you, and I had to meet this human who tore down the walls of Jericho. You're a pretty damn good-looking trumpet! I coincidently loved your music." I drew my hand from his and gave him a shy smile. I'd apparently been blushing, again.
"You've got that backwards. I'm the one that was broken. It's not his walls that I've been breaking down lately," I smirked. "So, am I what you expected?" I questioned.
"Bella, you are far more. You are also very different. I fear for Edward if you were to ever meet him again," he chuckled darkly as though at an inside joke.
"That will never happen, so you have nothing to worry about. I am nothing to him. In the beginning I was like a toy or a pet to take care of. Then I became a hindrance. Now I am nothing. If I do happen to see him again you should not be the one afraid. He should." I yawned loudly and apologized.
"I've kept you up late with our conversation. I'll call Gregory and have him book you a room in the hotel adjacent to the club. He will gather the other band members also." He offered his hand to help me up.
"Thank you, Johnny. I will see you tomorrow?" I questioned.
He attempted to dazzle me once again. "Absolutely, for the record, Bella, Edward was an ass, and he knows it. Until tomorrow."
I smiled sleepily and followed Gregory who had just arrived with drunken Ian and Nick in tow.
"Hey Izz, Wut up, yo?" Nick bellowed while stumbling a little off balance.
"Ain't no thang but a chicken wang," I sang as I started to giggle. The sleep was slowly fading from me as the need to get rid of the pain rushed in.
"For shizzle my nizzle," he laughed.
"Word to yo mutha!" I choked out cracking up. This was what I needed, Nick and his ridonculous ways. I crossed my arms and leaned my back against Gregory. He had the most chagrined face; I giggled when Nick pounded his fist on his chest twice, kissed it, and then flashed a peace sign.
"Peace," he exploded in a deep voice. We both burst out laughing so hard we choked. Even Ian couldn't help but join in. Johnny was just standing there grinning and staring at me. Unfortunately, Ian noticed; his frown spoke volumes.
"Izz, one hundred bucks I can throw back an Irish Car Bomb faster than you!" I recognized the gleam in his eyes, but I couldn't ignore a challenge. Especially, one I knew I'd win.
"You're on woadie!" I jumped up and sauntered to the bar. Sleep was definitely the last thing on my mind; I foresaw a chance to erase him from my dreams for a night. "See ya' Johnny," I called over my shoulder. Entering the hazy confines of the hallway Johnny's golden eyes flashed through the darkness. I coughed as smoke misted through the walls.
Ian tried to draw my attention away, "You know you can't hang, Izz," he whispered into my ear from around my back.
As we exited the hallway I was accosted by the heat emanating from the bodies of the overwhelming crowd. I used Ian's shoulders to vault me up in an attempt to see the bar. We shoved and goosed our way through the bodies of people still energized from our performance. I got more than one "ass-grab" and I placed more than one "kidney-shot" in retaliation all done with a smile.
I reached the bar in relief. "Hey, man," I threw the words down towards the bartender in hopes he'd hear me. I squeezed my way between two rock hard, cold bodies. I realized who or better yet, what they were. I changed my tactics. "Excuse me," I looked up into the golden eyes and batted my lashes recognizing him as the one from earlier.
The vampire stared directly into my eyes attempting to dazzle me. "Yes?" His eyes lit up as he saw me smile.
"Do you think you could scoot down a bit for me and my friend here?" I asked in my sweetest, most innocent voice.
Golden Eyes here looked at me like dinner, but not the blood sucking kind. More like a sundae with sprinkles and a cherry on top, I was that cherry. He mean-mugged Ian. Surprisingly Ian, didn't flinch. "For you, anything, Beautiful," he purred.
Ian was about to retort when I shocked them all and rebel yelled, "Hell yeah!" and yanked Ian next to me as the bartender walked over. The vamp seemed a combination of confused and interested. If I was going to be speaking to and surrounded by reminders of him, then I was going to get totally and completely shit-faced. I raised my voice to epic volumes. "Rock-N-Roll bitches! Six car bombs, please." I turned to face the crowd that was surrounding us. "Everyone, are you prepared to see me kick Ian's ass?"
The crowd boomed, "Yeah!"
"Ian, are you prepared to be humiliated by a tiny, little girl like me?" I yelled my face mere inches from his a little bit of spit flew into his eye.
"You're going down, Izz," he growled loudly. His eyes were on fire.
"Hey, Golden Eyes," I turned to the gorgeous vampire I spoke to a second ago, "Count to three." My face was set in my determined; I'm going to kick some ass face.
Golden Eyes grinned, "Ok. Are you ready?" Ian and I nodded locking our eyes on each other. "On your mark, get set, go!" he yelled.
I dropped the shot in my Guinness and chugged for all I was worth. Ian was right with me. Nick was screaming, "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" along with everyone else in the bar. I finished the first one. The image of him faded just a little from the forefront of my mind. Each beer was just one more shake of an Etch-A-Sketch.
"Next!" I pounded my fist on the bar.
Just as I dropped the shot in, Ian grabbed his. We were neck and neck. The beer streamed down the corners of my mouth. I refused to relinquish my lead. I'd fucking die before I let Ian win. I could barely see the outline of him in my mind. Good! I just wanted him to disappear completely.
"Next!" I slammed my mug on the bar and flashed Ian a very toothy, almost feral grin. He was only a third of the way through his second. He grimaced at me, took a breath, and kept going.
I swiped my mouth with the back of my hand and dropped the final shot in my beer, "Sweet dreams Ed…," I mumbled. I forced the mug to my lips and slacked my jaw, pouring the sweet foamy, liquid down my throat. Halfway through, I couldn't even remember why I was doing this and tilted off balance, and grabbed the first thing I could put my hands on. It so happened to be old Golden Eyes' arm. I yanked the mug from my lips and muttered, "Sorry, Golden Eyes." My eyes looked up all dreamy into his. "You remind me of someone from loooooong ago," I spouted drunkenly. He grabbed my shoulders and steadied me. I brushed a wisp of hair that was hiding his amber eyes. He raised his eyebrows inquisitively and smirked. Ian noticed and loudly yelled for his next car bomb about a millimeter from my ear. He'd obviously tried to get my attention away from Golden Eyes. I thought that was a good idea. It worked.
"I wouldn't stop so long if I were you. He's catching up," Golden eyes murmured in my ear. Goosebumps spread down my neck reaching my core. His breath was like magnolia and honey.
"Fuck!" I spat and started chugging again. ADD was a lifesaver. I didn't know if more beer was down my throat or on my shirt, but I finished, slammed my mug on the bar, and scrambled on my bar stool with my arms raised above my head and trumpeted, "This…is…Sparta!"
A roar exploded around me. The entire bar was hysterical, laughing and chanting. "Izzy! Izzy! Izzy!" I suddenly tumbled off the stool and shockingly enough Ian caught me. His smirk made me laugh. "Beat me again Izz. You always get what you want," He breathed in my ear.
I realized he was still cradling me in his arms. I didn't mind at that moment, because I didn't think I could stand. We headed back stage with the chanting dying down behind us. My head dropped to his shoulder and I sighed dejectedly, "I don't get everything I want."
Ian dropped me unceremoniously on the couch in the dressing room. "Fuck, Izzy, when are you going to forget that asshole? He fucking left you just like that bitch Nadia left me!" His face was scrunched up in anger and pain. All I heard in my head on repeat was, "He left you. He left you."
"I'm here, Izzy. Actually here, not some ghost of your past," he implored.
I guess the shock and fury on my face was evident, because Ian approached me slowly with hands up and palms out. "Please, Izzy, I want you."
That broke through everything. I couldn't live like I was anymore. I wasn't supposed to end up like this. I couldn't just give myself away anymore. There must have been an untarnished piece of me left that could be something to someone. I shook my head trying to clear the fuzz that once was a coherent mind, and gave Ian the message, "No," I whispered. I couldn't deal with this now. I was too confused. I was also pretty sure I was beyond wasted. I jumped up racing, falling a little sideways to the door. Ian grabbed my arm.
"Izz, wait. Don't leave. I didn't mean it that way. I know this isn't the best timing. I just don't know how to tell you I…," he begged. His eyes were desperate.
"No! No! No! No!" I gasped. "I can't handle this right now. I gotta get outta here." I struggled from his grasp. I sprinted through the door and down the hall. Miraculously I reached the back exit. Lowering my shoulder, I rammed through the door and stumbled into the night.
"Fucking Ian. Fuck Ian," I mumbled looking down at the mosaic of gum pasted on the concrete below me. I was suddenly dizzy. I gazed around and attempted to gain my equilibrium, but I couldn't even explain the kaleidoscopic, swirly, weirdness of the neon lights. Unfortunately they did not only make me dizzy; they were also distracting. I tripped on an uneven dip in the parking lot. I had enough time to splay my hands out in front of me and attempted to brace my fall. In slow motion I visualized my face slamming against the concrete.
Suddenly, my movement came to a complete halt. I froze in mid-air and giggled, "I'm floating." My legs and arms were stretched out like Superman. I heard a deep chuckle. Goosebumps flooded my body, and I sighed, "I'm so glad you're here." I rolled over, grinned, and stretched in the most familiar arms I'd known. My angel's face raced from shock, to amused, to pained, and settled on confused. Dream Edward never made that face. He always knew what he wanted.
Our eyes meet. I was dazzled. "Not as glad as I am," he whispered.
I relaxed, limp in his arms. "Much better," I slurred, wrapping my arms around his neck. I grazed my lips against his neck. He pulled away from me. I was still resting in his arms, but he'd extended the cradle he had me in as far away from him as possible.
"This dream sucks," I huffed. "We should be running past second, halfway naked, and sliding into third by now."
He smirked, "Yes, one day we will."
"NO, NOW!" I whined, sounding more like a petulant child than a woman of twenty-one.
"Bella?" Edward reproached. His face had an incredulous expression as the words sank in.
I squirmed out of his arms scrambling I got to my feet. I swung a punch missing, twirling around in a circle. "I don't like this Edward; you're too much of a Sallyboy." I flicked my wrist at him like he was a fly, effectively shooing him away. "Now go get sexy times Edward," I commanded.
"Bella, be reasonable," he said. "I am here, and you are intoxicated. I love you."
"Wait, if I'm drunk then I shouldn't be seeing you right now. I'm drunk, so I wouldn't have to see you tonight. I'm supposed to be passed out somewhere, anywhere not seeing you. Apparently, I'm somewhere passed out and I'm not drunk enough, so you're back haunting me. DAMN! At least you could give me some sweet lovin'," I shoved his shoulder again.
"I am here, this is real, and would you please stop hitting me? You're going to hurt yourself," he scolded.
I growled, punched him in the face, taking him off guard. My knuckles cracked beneath the skin and I screeched, "Fuckin' holesucker!" That felt too real.
"Bella, are you alright!" he exclaimed with worry in his eyes. "Stop hopping around and let me see it. Stop moving! Give me your hand, please."
Danced around on one foot like a lunatic, splashing through puddles in the uneven concrete I hesitated and paused dazed. I couldn't stand the worry in his eyes. This dream was going fucking downhill really quickly. "No, this is not how this is supposed to happen. I get drunk and forget you. You don't show up being all awkward, concerned, pansy Edward. Dream Edward is supposed do everything Real Edward would never do." I made a decision. Maybe my dream needed me to take a little control. I grasped his face between my hands and pulled his lips to mine, forcing my tongue in his mouth.
Cinnamon, sugar and a lingering spicy heat filled my mouth and pulsed through my body down to my throbbing core. We broke away gasping for air. "That is more like it, Dream Edward!"
"Yes, Bella, I am your Dream Edward. What do you want me to do?"
"Fucking kiss me, Edward," I demanded as I rubbed my hands up his chest. The hard planes made me gasp in ecstasy.
He attacked me with his cool lips. I didn't have to force my way. He took control and I for once submitted. I tasted him first and everything went black.
_______________________________________________________________________
EPV
The flight seemed like it took forever. I waned to get to The Viper Room as quickly as possible. I just needed to see her to feel better. I raced to Sunset Boulevard.
I was surprised by the thump of a heart when a hybrid met me with a smile. His name was Gregory.
"Hello, Mr. Cullen. I'm Gregory," he stated. He must not have known I could hear his thoughts, oh well. "Mr. Depp told me you were arriving and asked that I bring you directly to him when you get here. He's very anxious to see you."
"It's Edward, Gregory, and thank you. I am anxious to see him also." I followed him through the plush Viper Room. As we walked across the room I heard the sweetest sound in my world, her voice. I heard "your cold hot blood running down on me." I did not hear the other words, but those were enough to make me catch my breath in agony. She was aware I was here, because her heart skipped a beat and began an aggressive pounding. In an instant I turned and entered Johnny's office before she could see me fully. I waned to turn around and look in her direction, but then I heard her lullaby. The one that was hers alone…the one I composed for her. She remembered it, and I heard all her pain in the last melancholy notes. My heart ripped again with the knowledge that I had made so many mistakes both past and recent.
"Edward," Johnny greeted me with a smile. He was glad to see me. "I am glad you made it in such a short amount of time. How do you like the music?" he grinned maliciously.
"It is your style, Johnny," I grinned back. "Thank you for calling me. I…" I paused when I heard the lyrics to the Fiona Apple song. I simultaneously growled when I heard the lewd thoughts being emitted from someone near her. I did not have to guess that he was close to her…it sent my mind racing with anger. Before I realized what I was doing I was about to lurch out the door, off the balcony, but Johnny restrained me by throwing me into the opposite wall.
"What the hell are you doing?" he roared. "Get your ass under control before you ruin everything. She's not prepared to see you yet, and you'll blow your chance."
"I cannot just stand here and listen to the vile thoughts coming from that miscreant."
"Who?" He questioned with pure curiosity.
I quickly sifted through his mind to deduce his relationship to Bella. As if his mind bent to my will, his memory flashed on a night when Bella called his name…IAN, and not in a "come get your dinner" kind of way. A guttural growl escaped from deep inside my chest again, "How many people has she been with?"
Next, I heard his unrequited yearning for her. I still had a chance.
"His name is Ian," I muttered to Johnny.
"Oh, he's the guitar player. Gregory says he's a cocky ass but can play the guitar well," said Johnny with a frown.
"I can get rid of his cockiness in an instant," I snarled.
"Just go downstairs and listen. Bella will be up here when the set's over, and I'll find out whatever I can for you," said Johnny.
"Fine," I snapped. I still wanted to tear Ian's thumping heart out of his chest like with Jacob Black.
Johnny laughed, "How old are you again?" He smirked.
"Seventeen," I answered smartly.
"Just go. I'll handle it," he reassured me.
"Make sure you keep your hands to yourself," I stated as I tapped my temple with my finger providing a quick reminder that I'd know everything that would go on.
"Don't be ridiculous Edward," he said to me with a much too innocent smile.
"She's very shy and self-conscious, so don't press her too much," I told him.
"I promise not to press her anywhere," he vowed, hand raised like a boy scout. He smiled wryly.
"Not funny. I am already close to the edge please don't push me over… friend." I heard the crowd roar as I walked down the steps from the VIP room toward the bar, when Ian announced, "On the keys and vocals, Izzy Swan." My smile widened as I saw her drinking in the applause from the crowd. She was different somehow, yet still my Bella. She was so beautiful enjoying the spotlight. I took a seat at the far end.
Bella and the band were led to the VIP room. I chuckled at Ian's frustration as Bella shrugged off his arm. Johnny's thoughts confirmed that Bella was not as shy and self-conscious as I thought. She seemed very comfortable with Johnny even flirting with him slightly. I growled in spite of myself…the bartender looked at me. A blonde vampire on her way to speak to me quickly turned away.
I was happy to hear that Ian and Nick were leaving the office with models. I heard Ian's disrespectful comment to Bella and without noticing, glass flew everywhere spilling water. Did he curse in front of my Bella? Was he truly insane? Did he have no regard for his life?
The bartender asked me to kindly let go of the bar's edge as it seemed to buckle under my hand. "We have to keep up our appearance sir," he whispered.
"My apologies," I answered. "I'll pay for any damages." I did not think I could take this much longer. It was nerve-racking to sit there and hear Bella flirt with Johnny. He was thinking apologies, but he was a man after all or at least partly. Splinters of wood fell to the floor as I heard his heart skip a beat beneath the touch of her hand; I threw a wad of hundreds at the bartender and rushed out the door.
It was warm out. The full moon shined down on me making weird shadows against my skin. Neon lights mocked with their false rainbows teasing with the knowledge that there was no pot of gold at the end for me. I heard the footsteps of prostitutes coming toward me, and I made a quick decision to escape the sadness their minds exuded before it could overwhelm me. Thank God, my Bella was not that broken.
I perched outside the window of Johnny's office awaiting more torture as my penance.
I heard her choke back a sob as the conversation turned towards me. I saw her in his mind and clenched my teeth at the pain I painted all over her face. "She thinks the Cullens don't care about her," I mumbled to myself. I thought about how many tears Esme and Alice were crying over Bella. Emmett was sacrificing many trees to the god of anger so he wouldn't kill me. Jasper, the empath, had to leave for months at a time because he couldn't take the torrential rain of emotions, which made Alice cry even more. Carlisle was mourning the loss of Bella like the death of a child. My family was torn apart with the loss of one; it never occurred to me that Bella had not just lost me but my entire family. I orphaned Bella with a few lies. I was a monster! My demon answered my thought, "Yes you are, and it is your nature." I vigorously shook my head clear of the voice, because I would make this right.
I snapped out of my reverie as I realized that she couldn't say my name. I heard Johnny's words of remorse at her pain while simultaneously cursing me for what I had done. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. I saw Johnny flash a look of disgust in my direction as if sorry was not nearly enough. The movie screen flashed before my eyes once again. Bella's shouts for me as I left her in the woods obliterated my walls forever.
I heard her state that she was nothing to me and was never anything to me. She was everything to me and always would be… she was my reason for existing. Not only did I break her heart, I broke her spirit. Izzy was just a façade she put on to make it through the dark night that had enveloped her. I smiled. My Bella was still there somewhere deep beneath the surface of Izzy.
I slipped through the window as Bella left. "John…," a blow came through the air connecting with the side of my face. An unneeded breath gushed from my lungs. I straightened my stance and said, "I know… I really know now."
I lurched forward and connected my fist to his mouth. "Keep your thoughts about MY Bella to yourself," I snarled remembering his inappropriate thoughts from minutes before.
"YOU ARE A TRULY, SELF-RIGHTEOUS ASSHOLE! You no longer deserve her," he accused.
"BUT, I will have her," I countered. I felt the twinge of a mind whose coldness I could not help but recognize mentally caressed Bella. He was golden-eyed, tall with black hair. He was thinking about their first encounter at the bar. I heard her compare him to me. My mouth contorted into a sneer "Johnny," I snarled, "Who the hell is Aedan?"
Johnny's eyes snapped up. "Why?"
"Because I'm going to kill him, grab Bella, and get the hell out of here," I snapped.
"Slow down, slow down, Edward. I'll take care of Aedan. He's an incubus but Bella can handle it. Even I couldn't dazzle her," Johnny's eyes grew distant and then he laughed.
The silence was broken by Bella's victory cry "THIS IS SPARTA!"
She was miles past the legal limit and I rolled my eyes. I should have been paying more attention to what she was doing. I was too distracted by my pissing contest with Johnny. That damn demon spoke again… "She's this way because of you." At least she was smiling and laughing I countered the voice.
I jumped up when I saw Bella fall through Ian's eyes. I saw him catch her and quickly escape the tumult of the crowd. I could hear his plan to confess his love for her as the crowd chanted Bella's pseudonym; I repressed the urge to tear through the wall.
"Johnny, Ian is going to tell her that he loves her," I whispered in agony.
"You have got to be kidding me," he retorted. "You dare doubt her love for you even now, when you can see what your lies have done to her!"
"What's the right thing to do?" I questioned helplessly. I was in foreign territory; I was not equipped to deal with the lack of control.
SLAP, he hit me again. I was not going to take much more of that. "Okay, I get it. Damn, stop hitting me. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow." I saw Ian's dejected face watch as Bella left. I jumped out the window as I heard Johnny call for Gregory. I saw her stagger and couldn't bear to witness her fall because it would remind me of an angel falling from the heaven. I caught her before she hit the ground. Her arms and legs splayed out from her body. The scent of sweat, alcohol and Ian did not mask her scent…my Bella's scent. It was intoxicating to me.
"I'm so glad you're here," she said to me wistfully.
Shocked I looked down to see her face spread into a ridiculous grin. Her rosy cheeks and drunken slur amused me. I was pained to see her in this state, but happy to be with her. I settled on confused. How could she possibly be happy to see me, when I heard all her pain and anger towards me?
"Not as glad as I am," I whispered to her. I wanted to take her away with me that instant.
I felt a burn on my neck and reflexively pushed her away. My throat was inflamed; it had been too long since I drank and she just smelled delicious.
Did she say dream? She thought I was a dream. That thought was interrupted…Naked! What did she say? I could not concentrate with images of her naked body in my mind. I gave her my lopsided smile that I knew she loved and said, "Yes, one day we will."
She wants to have sex right now? We both may be dreaming. I have to get control of this situation before it gets too far out of hand. "Bella?" I said as her words sank in. She tried to punch me and almost fell down again. Yeah, she was completely above the legal limit of intoxication. "Bella, be reasonable," I said to her. If she only knew that I would take her up on the offer in a heartbeat if I knew she had forgiven me. We would have that one day…soon. "I am here and you are intoxicated. I love you." I was barely holding on. My hands were slowly slipping from the edge. My hands had a mind of their own as they explored the exposed skin through the tiny holes of her fishnets as her skirt rode up her supple legs. I didn't want to take advantage of her in her drunken state, but it might have been interesting to do so.
She intentionally drank to forget me? She did that often? She thought I was haunting her… that was true, I was haunting her, but she needed to understand that this was real. I was real.
"I AM HERE, this is real and would you please stop hitting me. You're going to hurt yourself," I said exasperatedly to her as she tried to pound in my face. The sharp crack of her knuckles startled me as I realized that she actually made contact with my nose. What the hell was a holesucker? The obscenities were bordering on ridiculous at that point, and I was growing impatient.
"Bella, are you alright? Stop hopping around and let me see it. Stop moving! Give me your hand please." I hoped it was not broken. I was worried.
I heard her speak to her Dream Edward again. Tears fell down her face, which I could not bear. I wanted to be her Dream Edward. I wanted to tell her that I could be everything to her… real, imaginary, everything.
She kissed me hard and I did not resist because I just could not. Her body was soft, warm, and fragile. I couldn't help but compare Bella's supple body to Tanya's rigid one. Her tongue scorched my mouth but God what a way to burn.
"This is my Dream Edward," I heard her gasp.
I responded, "Yes, Bella I am your Dream Edward. What do you want me to do?" I wanted her to be happy even for a moment. I wanted to be happy, especially in that moment.
"Fucking kiss me, Edward," she said rubbing her hands up my chest like timbers burning quickly through a forest, her hands were a wildfire to my skin. I severed my mind from my body and kissed her passionately. I traveled to another time and space where it was just she and I, and nothing had changed. When I felt her stop responding I realized she was passed out. I grinned as I heard frantic footsteps. I kissed her gently once more. "I love you," I whispered in her ear and lithely jumped onto the balcony above her. Ian found her and wrapped his arms around her body. I crouched ready to pounce like a cougar if he dared to kiss her. I heard his thoughts, wishing she loved him as much as he loved her. I chuckled to myself knowing that would never happen, especially after the sweet exchange we just had. She would be safe with him tonight, but I was not taking any chances. I followed.