Author's Notes

I've decided that since I hardly even remember the series anymore, I'll re-read it as I write this! Also, canon characters will be introduced in a different order. I think it'll be more interesting than following the original plotline so closely… that'd be like re-reading the series, which is obviously much better than my humble little fic!

One more thing: this is the revised version of this chapter! It doesn't really change the plot much, aside from just the events of this chapter. I thought that the old version's characters were not really acting the way they would in canon.

"Quotes": dialogue
Italics: Thoughts
(In parentheses): Panda signs
Bold italics: Sound effects

Disclaimer
I don't own Ranma ½.

"Ranma! Stop running!"

"Then quit splashing me already!"'

"But it's so fun!"

Various Tendo residents were chasing Ranma up and down the hall of the dojo, carrying buckets, pails, and kettles of water of varying temperatures, and aiming water at Ranma for the past few hours. It was impossible to tire of the game, but Ranma was seriously getting annoyed. Akane, at least, seemed to be having so much fun that she forgot her humiliation in front of the strange man-woman who would, starting on that day, live under the same roof as her.

Hisoka found this game entertaining as well, first as an observer, then gradually becoming a participant. In fact, as Ranma turned the corner, he was the first to follow behind.

But he did not see Ranma. Where could his brother have gone? As he stood stupidly staring at the empty hall, he suddenly felt the horrible sensation that he was forgetting something. A cackle of laughter descended from above, as a stream of boiling water scalded Hisoka's scalp and shoulders.

"OW, DAMMIT!"

Hisoka hated her curse. To everyone else, it just looked like her hair turned a darker shade of blue, which was a normal enough result of getting her immense amount of hair soaked in water. However, it was much more complex than that. She had been cross-dressing for her entire life.

Yes, Hisoka is a girl. She has lived as a guy for just about her entire life, and Genma had drilled it deep into both her and Ranma's brains since the training trip began that they would be the manliest of men, or he would disown them. Not that that was much of a threat, but Ranma could not stand having his manhood insulted. It was ironic that he was the one whose curse would turn him into a girl.

What was even more ironic was that Hisoka would get the opposite curse, although it was also somewhat convenient. By that logic, Hisoka had no reason to hate the curse itself, per se, but hated more the fact that her anatomy kept changing. It made "dressing for the occasion" that much more difficult. Her center of balance is lower as a girl, so she also had to get used to the male center of balance. It was uncomfortable, to say the least, and much more uncomfortable than Ranma would ever be because she actually had to hide her gender half the time.

As Hisoka nursed her burning skin and squeezed the remaining water from her long hair, the families were discussing the engagement in the living room. Now that it was confirmed that Genma really did have two sons, life was easier. Soun really only needed one of them married to one of his daughters, but both he and Genma were convinced that two are always better than one, in case anything went wrong.

"Take your pick," Soun was saying to Ranma, "Which one of my daughters suits your fancy?"

Ranma glanced up. "But I don't even know any of them!"

"Oh, you'll get to know them eventually," Soun waved Ranma off dismissively. "But the engagement will go on! Just pick one!"

Nabiki and Kasumi immediately pushed Akane forward. "Well, we recommend Akane," Nabiki grinned, "You've always said that you hated guys, right? Well, this is a perfect chance for you! Where else will you ever find a half-guy that you could marry? Eh?"

Kasumi smiled sweetly and agreed, "I'm sure Ranma wouldn't mind your quirks at all!"

"That's not the problem!" Akane screamed.

"Yeah," Ranma chimed in, "even I have a better figure than she does!"

A red shape flew out of the room and landed head-first in the koi pond.

"Hisoka!" Genma barked.

"Yeah?" Hisoka mumbled as she got to her feet and shuffled toward the dining room. "What is it?"

"Same question as before, you lazy boy!"

"I think it'll be better if—"

"Answer the question!"

Soun watched the exchange between the father and son, and decided that Saotomes can't make up their minds about anything. Ignoring the two, he turned to his daughters. "What do you think of the younger boy?"

Akane frowned again. "I don't know him either! Shouldn't we get to know our future fiancés a little better before actually deciding?"

Her father's face broke into a huge grin. "Ah, Akane! I always knew that you didn't really hate boys! It's decided then! Saotome, we've got ourselves a volunteer!"

Genma and Hisoka stopped arguing and stared.

Akane raged.

A very wet and very female Ranma finally cleaned out the mud from the bottom of the koi pond that had gotten stuck in her hair and crawled in through the door.

"I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED!" Her voice could be heard in the entire Nerima district, as a very unfortunate girl wearing Chinese clothes was sent into orbit around the Earth.

Author's Note: Check it out! My chapter-ly plea for reviews!