DISCLAIMER: If I owned Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks, they would be alive!
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The conversation with Draco occupied my mind most of the time from then on, and during the week I seeked him out with questions which answers he denied me. The whole affair made me increasingly nervous and the teachers caught me distracted more than once. Hannah Tyler paid for it when I added the troll warts too early, and our potion was ruined.
Things just got worse. In addition to one of my few friends not talking to me, the air was exceptionally chilly on the Gryffindor table when I sat down for dinner on Wednesday night.
"Hello, Lavinia," Ginny said, quite obviously upset. "Any news?"
"No," I answered, confused by the sarcastic question.
"Really?" Hermione insisted in the same tone, to my great surprise. "Nothing to tell us? At all?"
For a second, I thought they might know about the mysterious prophecy, but it didn't make much sense when I didn't know anything about it myself.
And anyway, it wasn't something to speak about right at the Gryffindor table in the middle of a crowded Great Hall.
"I have no idea what you are talking about, Hermione," I said. I looked around. Both Hermione and Ron were giving me betrayed looks. Ginny seemed somehow triumphant. Parvati and Lavender looked very intrigued.
Harry was staring at his plate, and not looking at me at all.
"What happened?" I asked fearfully.
"What do you think happened?" Hermione snapped.
"We heard some of your lot talking about you," Ginny said.
"My lot?" I repeated, foolishly thinking of actors, and putting all the blame immediately on Rosalind Hainsworth.
"Slytherins," Ron clarified. "Pureblood Slytherins."
I stared at them, dumbfounded. I had already told Harry about my shameful, out of wedlock birth, and it wasn't as if they would care that much about pureblood society's strict rules
"We know who you really are, Lavinia Malfoy," Ginny said gleefully. I could hear Parvati and Lavender gasp.
"Oh," I managed to utter, feeling increasingly sick.
"Oh, indeed," Hermione said. All four of them got up, their plates empty.
"C'mon, let's go to the Tower," Hermione said.
"But, dinner..." Ron complained in a very audible whisper.
"We can go get something from the kitchens, Ron," Ginny said between her teeth.
"Harry, wait," I said, my eyes filled with tears already.
Harry turned around, and gave me the worse look I had ever been given. Not even my uncle Lucius had looked at me that way when I told him I was to be an actress.
I didn't know what to say or do. I just froze completely by his awful look of betrayal, disappointment and hate. Harry followed his friends and didn't look back, while I sat alone, biting my lip, trying my best not to cry.
The next few days were Hell on Earth. Coming out as a Malfoy cost me more than I had ever realized it would. Everyone seemed to feel deceived and betrayed- not only my friends, but my fans as well. All of a sudden, I wasn't welcomed at any table but Slytherin and that was only because Draco still inspired some respect (his friends Crabbe and Goyle seemed to had been told to break the nose of anyone who dared deny me a sit). The issue even made the news- some contemptuous soul sold the story to Rita Skeeter, who somehow got hold of old pictures of my mother and his Hogwarts boyfriends, and the entire Wizarding World was delighted in engaging on the riddle game. I was called in Reader's Mail a bastard, a black sheep, a mistake and a deceitful harlot (when the news hit Canada, I was sure my grandmother would punch the air triumphantly at that last one). None of those names were original, and I had used them all before on myself, but seeing it printed, for the whole world to see, was immensely painful.
I received all sorts of letters, hate mail the most prominent sort, but also a few kind lines from people in my situation or simply decent people who felt the situation was unfair to me.
Scarlett wrote a rather funny and entertaining condolence letter, sure that I needed some cheering up. The WADA sent me another one thanking the free publicity and asking me to promise an explanation to the press after Saturday night's show (I said I wouldn't, for now). Aunt Narcissa sent an unpleasant Howler in the middle of the night. Rosalind Hainsworth (I'm sure it was her) sent me a facial disfigurement curse in an envelope, but thankfully I detected and neutralized it in time.
The hate mail and the constant inquiries of the press kept me busy and locked up in my private dormitory. Out of pity, Hannah Tyler forgave me and helped me with my mail, and if it wasn't for those two things, those would have been the loneliest days of my life. I missed my made-up life more than ever, and cursed my family for having forced me to tell all those lies.
On Thursday evening, I waited in vain for two hours inside the Room of Requirement. Harry never showed up. I Apparated myself back to my dormitory (the effort exhausted even me) and cried all night.
On Friday evening, the moment I was fearing the most arrived: the two-way mirror glowed gold.
"Hello, mum," I said. "I'm so sorry."
"Oh, love," my mother sighed, and smiled sadly. "It's not your fault."
"Yes, it is," I answered, unable to control the obvious weeping voice. "I was careless these last few days, I think I've been talking to Draco too much, and "
"It is not your fault, love," she repeated. "It was going to happen sooner or later."
"But now everyone is talking about you, and trying to guess who my father is and making lists of all the boyfriends you had "
"And I'm half-way around the world and couldn't care less," she said firmly. "I'm thirty-two years old and I don't care anymore about any of them. Nobody made a big deal of it here, aside from a few uncomfortable questions, and these days it isn't as scandalous as it used to be."
"But "
"I am fine," she assured me. "Don't worry about me. I knew this was going to happen the second Narcissa mentioned Hogwarts, and I've been preparing for this for months. With Lucius in jail, nobody has that much respect or fear of us anymore."
"What did grandmother say?"
"Oh, she's furious, of course," my mother shrugged. "But Aricia told her quite a few things I never quite dared to say myself. It will take her sometime, but she'll get over it."
"Do you think she'll talk to me anytime soon?"
"Soon," my mother said, obviously lying. I smiled. "But, what about you? How are you?"
I shrugged.
"I'm coping," I lied."I'll be fine, too. Just wait until Celestina Warbeck gets another divorce, and everyone will forget about it."
"That's the spirit," she smiled. We chit-chatted a few more minutes, and then I fell asleep, exhausted.
When I arrived to the WADA on Saturday morning, it all looked as if nothing had ever happened. Oh, I loved this place.
"We had a little chat last night," Scarlett confessed during our lunch break. "Theseus and professor Kettleburn told everyone why you had to go by a different name and how your uncle felt about it all. And then we decided you had to take enough from everyone else and that we would pretend it never happened."
"It is much appreciated," I said, sipping my mineral water slowly. "I'll tell everyone after the show."
I was excused for my distractions during rehearsals and my performance wasn't as brilliant as usual. Theseus said it was fine and that it would give the papers something to talk about the following morning.
"I just wish they'd shut up," I said later that night, when I was back in Scarlett's beautiful London flat. "My whole life is being scrutinized by everyone "
"Well, you know that comes with the job," Scarlett said, clutching her tea mug, digging deeper into her futon.
"No, it comes with the surname," I said. "It's one thing when they are watching me because of what I do, and another when it's because of who I am and how I came to be. I'm so sick of it, Scarlett!"
"Oh, I know," she hugged me, her bright red locks obscuring my vision.
"I liked being Lavinia Smith. Now everyone is suspicious of my family's Death Eater ways and trying to guess who my father is and they don't see Lavinia Smith, lead actress of the WADA, they see Lavinia Malfoy, bastard child, the embarrassment of the family "
"I think your own Uncle Lucius is much worse of an embarrassment these days, Vinny," Scarlett said, seriously. "It's the name Malfoy that embarrasses you and not you the embarrassment of the Malfoy family."
I pondered over that, sipping my tea, accommodating my body to the irregular shape of the futon.
"I liked keeping the two separate" I confessed in a whisper. "Two more years, and I'd been able to buy a flat just like this." I extended my arms, as if trying to embrace the paradise I so often took refuge in. "And never stop being Lavinia Smith. Write off everything else as a bad dream. A Malfoy no more." I turned to my friend. "Now I'll never be able to do that."
"I know," she whispered. We stayed silent I don't know how long, until Scarlett's naturally feisty nature forced me to snap out of my nostalgia. We watched more of our favorite anime series, Paradise Kiss- we enjoyed the last episode that night, and I cried even more than I normally would. We fell asleep with the telly still on to smile at, with happy, tiny Muggles inside cracking jokes for us.
After my two public appearances during the weekend, the papers commented mostly on how sad I looked and how rude I was to not make any statements. They had been harassing my family too- a journalist complained about being thrown out by my Aunt Aricia from her house in Canada, another because my Aunt Narcissa and Draco gave a statement saying they would not give a statement, in fear anything they said might harm my uncle's defense in the upcoming trial, and another because a cease and desist order prohibited them from mentioning the name Malfoy in the showbiz section again.
At school, things got quieter. I still wasn't able to sit in any table but Slytherin, but at least nobody was whispering curses and insults at me. It was easier to get by, but I wasn't any happier- the people I cared about the most were still not speaking to me.
I was going to skip Monday's training class, sure that Harry wasn't going to show up, but when the time arrived, I was summoned to Dumbledore's office through my faithful, painted companion, Calliope Malfoy.
"Lavinia, dear, I am very pleased to see you," Dumbledore said, as soon as I came through his door.
"Thank you, sir," I said, and I froze. Right in front of me, staring at the floor, was Harry Potter.
"Harry and I were having a little chat," he said, as I took a sit. "He still doubts my judgment- he is entitled to- but he has heard my side of the argument, and is ready to present you with his apologies."
My heart jumped. I was filled with hope all of a sudden, and my mind started whispering a silly wish.
Harry was not looking at me, yet. Dumbledore sighed, got up, and asked us to follow him.
He opened a door and revealed a luxurious dining room on the other side- the table was set for two, delicious looking food resting on the plates.
"This dining room has hosted the most remarkable figures of the last thousand years," Dumbledore said. "The best witches and wizards from all over the world, powerful politicians, foreign dignitaries and even kings and queens. And it is yours for the night."
Harry gaped, astounded.
"Thank you, sir!" I said as profusely as I could.
"The two of you are in need of a serious conversation. Stay as long as you want." He smiled. "You will not disturb me at all."
He winked, and his eyes twinkled as he closed the door.
We took our sits on opposite sides of the table, and started our dinner with tension still in the air.
"Why did you lie to me?" Harry asked suddenly.
"I never lied," I said, trying to dominate my emotions and use the calmest tones I had. "When we met, I told you Lavinia Smith was my stage name."
"Oh, so you just never told me your real name?" he said angrily.
"You never asked!" I snapped. "Why do you think I never told you I was a Malfoy? I knew how you were going to react!"
"Well, of course I was going to react!" he answered with a scowl. "It was your uncle that almost killed Ginny when she was only eleven, and who tried to kill us all last June, and your aunt who killed Sirius!"
"And that's my fault, is it?" I yelled, furious. "Because I, the fifteen-year-old bastard child, have all the authority over what my elders do!"
"Well, of course it's not your fault," he conceded. "But you are still one of them "
"One of them?" I whispered. "I told you all about how different I am from my family, I " he looked unconvinced, and a thought came to mind. "You just mentioned Sirius Black, right?" He nodded. "Well, he went to Azkaban without a trial because everyone else judged him immediately, just because of his surname no one cared about who he really was, they just saw the surname Black and labeled him a Death Eater and tossed him into Azkaban Don't you realize you are doing the same thing to me?"
He looked chastised and guilty. He stayed silent for a while, and I chewed furiously a chunk of duck in a very unladylike manner.
"I'm sorry," he finally said, looking at me in the eye for the first time. "I'm really sorry."
I didn't answer.
"I just I wish you'd have told me yourself."
"You are right," I conceded. "I wish I would have told you, instead of having you finding out through gossip. I'm sorry about that."
"I just " he sighed. "The first thing I thought "
"I know what you first thought," I mumbled.
"I'm sorry," he repeated. I finally smiled at him.
"It's OK, I suppose. It's liberating to be out, once and for all. I was always scared of being discovered."
"Yeah," he swallowed uncomfortably. "I'm sorry we confronted you at the Gryffindor table. If we had done it in private, no one would have heard and you wouldn't have journalists trying to break into your aunt's house "
"You didn't realize this would happen," I tried to rationalize it. "You had no idea it would turn into something this big."
"I swear, I didn't." He assured me. "Hermione feels really guilty. She misses you a lot."
I smiled. It was nice to be missed.
"I missed you a lot," he said, surprising me. I looked at him, locking my eyes to his. "I was really angry, because well, because I like you a lot. I think I really, really like you, Lavinia."
I had a sudden urge to laugh, joy filling my soul, my lips forming a wide smile I couldn't possibly hide.
"Oh, Harry," I said. "I really, really like you, too."
Maybe my lessons really were fruitful, because he arrived to my side faster than the eye can see; before I realized it, his thumb was on my chin, and our noses touched before our lips finally did. He kissed me slowly at first, his fingers softly caressing my cheeks, but then the kiss turned deeper and more real, and his hands were on my waist, as mine were playing with the hair in the back of his neck.
I felt I was flying through clouds, and that the Sun was, finally, shining on me.
Outside the dining room, Albus Dumbledore was smiling happily.
"My dear Miss Calliope," he told the painting, "do be kind enough to visit your portrait on Malfoy Manor and tell Narcissa the first part of the prophecy has become a reality."
Calliope smiled.
"I will be delighted, kind sir" she curtsied, and then she was gone.
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