Santa Baby
Chloe looked around the street at the unfamiliar setting and checked the directions on her phone for the fifth time. "We're lost." Bart tucked his hands in his pockets.
"We're not lost." Chloe scoffed and looked around the now deserted street. "I do believe we're still in Star City." She smiled at Bart and then stopped an old woman coming out of a brownstone. "Do you know where I can find 32B?" The woman looked at Chloe up and down before nodding and pointing to a stairwell that was partially obscured by an overgrown bush. "Thank you."
"What are we doing here again?" Bart asked, itching to run, to do something besides walking down the same street for the seventeenth time.
"I'm picking up Oliver's Christmas present." Chloe walked down the steps and knocked on the door.
"What did you get him?" Bart looked around.
"A full scale model of the Napoleon." Chloe tapped her foot impatiently.
"You mean like the short dude who tried to conquer the world?" Bart asked confused.
"No, the Napoleon." Chloe laughed. She could see a light on so she knocked again.
"What's that when it's at home then?" Bart laughed.
"It's a French Naval Battleship." Chloe explained. "The first steam powered battleship in the world actually."
"Wow, that's…I didn't realize Oliver was so into French Battleships." Bart said lamely.
"He's not." Chloe shook her head. "It's my "random" present." Before she could knock again the door was yanked open hard and she and Bart stood staring a rotund short bald guy with very thick glasses.
"Henry?" Chloe asked. He wordlessly stepped back and motioned for them to follow him in.
"You guys still do that "random" thing?" Bart asked, walking through the room, admiring table after table of the intricate models that littered every surface. "I thought that was just like a joke."
"It started out that way." Chloe said as they followed Henry through the room. "Then it kind of stuck." She shrugged.
It had been a joke the first time. It was Oliver's first birthday since they'd gotten together and Chloe was freaking out over what to get him. Lois didn't know either, they hadn't had a birthday or a Christmas in the few months the two of them dated and when Chloe asked for her advice all she'd said was a very unhelpful, "Yeah, what do you get for the guy who has everything…or at least the money to buy anything he wanted."
After scouring the internet for days trying to come up with the perfect gift she realized that the perfect gift was impossible. Lois had been right, what did you get the man who had everything he ever wanted? In a moment of near hysteria Chloe figured out the answer, you get him something he never wanted. Fueled on by this idea she'd pulled up Wikipedia and hit the "random article" button a few times until she came across something she found interesting.
It was an article on a movie called The Thin Man, it was based on the book of the same name written by Dashiell Hammett, the guy who wrote the Maltese Falcon and created the greatest detective of all time, Sam Spade. Chloe and Lois had watched Humphrey Bogart banter with Mary Astor so many times they could practically quote the movie by heart. Much to her chagrin however, she'd never even heard of the Thin Man or it's four sequels. So she logged onto Amazon, bought all five movies and wrapped them up.
Oliver was confused at first. He'd never even read the Maltese Falcon much less seen the movie but after Chloe told him her reasoning behind the gift, possibly just to humor her, he vowed to watch all five movies. As it turned out, the movies were really enjoyable, hilarious as a matter of fact and thus a new tradition was born. For Chloe's birthday she received a Compendium of Philippine Epic Poetry. For Christmas that year Oliver was presented with a Sholes and Glidden typewriter, (the first successful commercial typewriter) and Chloe was the proud recipient of a framed baseball card for John Gochnaur, widely considered the worst major league baseball player in history.
Chloe's random Wikipedia article this year was about the Napoleon and short of buying Oliver the actual ship, which she wasn't even sure it existed anymore, a scale model had been her next best option. So that's how she found herself at Henry's staring at the ship in awe. Bart stopped beside her. "It's…big." He said looking at the ship which was easily three feet wide and four feet tall.
"I didn't think…I always imagine model ships to be small." Chloe tilted her head. "You know, like it can fit into a bottle or something."
"This is a very important ship." Henry said speaking for the first time. "It required a lot of detail and for that I needed surface area." Chloe didn't argue, she'd come to Henry because he was the best at what he did, the only one who had an sort of knowledge about the Napoleon, and she'd found that he could become very temperamental.
"Look, it's even got little men on it." Bart reached forward and both Henry and Chloe slapped his hand away before he could touch it.
"It's bigger than I expected." Chloe admitted. "I'm not going to be able to carry it. Can I send someone to pick it up later?"
"I suppose so." Henry rolled his eyes as if he was being heavily put upon.
"Thanks." Chloe took one last look at the massive steam ship and then back at Bart. "Where is he going to put that?"
"You could clear out the downstairs study." Bart joked with her.
***************
"When was the last time it snowed in Star City?" Lois asked when Chloe answered the phone. It wasn't the most random thing she could have asked but it was pretty close.
"I don't know, not since I've been here." Chloe thought about it.
"So you wouldn't say that it gets horribly cold there?" Lois asked. Chloe could hear typing in the background and based on the time she assumed her cousin was at work.
"Why?" Chloe asked her.
"Oliver bought you a fur coat." Lois said answered. "A really nice one, Sable, beautiful brown stripes. It just doesn't make any sense, if it doesn't snow and it doesn't get very cold, you're not really the fur coat type."
"Hold on, what do you mean Oliver bought me a fur coat?" Chloe furrowed her eyebrows.
"For Christmas." Lois said slowly as if Chloe was simply being thick.
"He bought me a fur coat for Christmas?" Chloe stood up slowly and started pacing. "Why on earth would he do that? I've never expressed an interest in fur, never asked for a fur coat…that makes absolutely no sense, unless it's my "random" present. But usually that's something more…random."
"A fur coat in California is random." Lois sighed.
Chloe paused. "Wait a minute." She turned her attention back to Lois. "How do you know what Oliver got me for Christmas? I know he didn't tell you because he knows you can't keep a secret."
"I can to keep a secret." Lois protested.
"Case in point Lois, you just told me what he got me for Christmas." Chloe pointed out.
"He never specifically told me that I couldn't tell you." Lois countered and Chloe was silent, not believing it for one second. "He didn't, because he doesn't know that I know."
Chloe closed her eyes, possibly praying to God for the strength to deal with her cousin. "How do you know?" Chloe asked again, hoping to get a straight answer this time.
"It wasn't very hard to figure it out. I just had to check recent purchases on a few of his credit cards. Only took me five minutes." Lois let out a breath. "It would have taken considerably less time if he had a few less credit cards."
Chloe pinched the bridge of her nose, wondering how she'd managed to deal with Lois on a regular basis when she still lived in Smallville, then realized that Lois didn't used to do this stuff in Smallville. It wasn't until Chloe moved away from her that she'd gone completely insane. "Look I don't know why he bought me a fur coat for Christmas, maybe he has a good reason, maybe he's taking me to Russia or something I don't know, what I do know is he probably didn't want me to know he bought me a fur coat for Christmas. Can't you just be content with snooping into your own Christmas presents?"
"No, it was ridiculously easy to figure out what Clark got me this year, I didn't even have to snoop, he hides them in the same spot every time, like the hayloft in the barn isn't the first place I'm going to look." Lois scoffed. "Speaking of, awesome giant battleship, it's the Napoleon right?" Before Chloe could ask how on earth Lois knew that she answered for her. "Army brat remember. I got a head full of useless military history trivia."
After spending more than three hours trying to figure out where to hide a four foot tall model battleship Chloe eventually bribed Clark into picking it up and taking it back to Smallville with him, which is how it ended up in the hayloft in the barn. "Anyway, I know no matter how hard I try I'll never figure out what you got me so I decided snooped into your presents this year."
"Why can't some things just be a surprise?" Chloe asked, almost resigned to her cousin by now.
"Because that's just not how I'm wired Chloe." Lois said as if that answered everything and in a way it sort of did.
"What if it's not for you?" She said suddenly.
"Lois, I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the fact that you feel the need to hack into my boyfriends credit cards just to figure out what he's buying me for Christmas or that you now believe he's buying fur coats for someone else, insinuating that Oliver, of all people, is having some sort of affair." Chloe said.
"It doesn't seem likely." Lois said after a while. "But neither does him buying you a fur coat." Chloe was about to rejoice in her small victory when Lois went and ruined everything. "Either way I'm going to keep an eye on things."
"What does that mean?" Chloe asked, slightly horrified by what she imagined it to mean and knowing Lois, it was probably ten times worse than that.
"Don't worry about a thing Chloe, I'm staying right on top of this, we'll get to the bottom of it." Lois said determined.
"Lois, wait there's nothing…" Chloe tried to reason with her but she'd hung up. Chloe looked down at her uselessly disconnected phone. "Nothing good can come of this." She said sagely, little did she know.
*************
It didn't take long for Chloe to figure out just exactly what Lois meant when she said that she was going to keep on top of things. Apparently one aspect of that seemed to be keeping a very close (and blatantly illegal) eye on Oliver's credit card purchases, which she kept Chloe appraised of every time something new came up. Basically what that meant was Chloe's inbox was inundated multiple times a day with ridiculous e-mails from Lois. They ranged from things like, "$250 dollars for lunch is crazy" which Chloe secretly agreed with to "Do you have any idea how much money the man spends on socks?" which Chloe probably doesn't want to know actually.
"Lois I really don't care if he just spent $300 on toothpaste…actually I do kind of care if he just spent $300 on toothpaste because that's just completely unnecessary." Chloe said. "He didn't just spend $300 on toothpaste did he?" She bit her bottom lip anxiously waiting the answer.
"No." Lois scoffed. "But he bought you a car."
"He bought me a what?" Chloe was not prepared for this.
"A car." Lois said. "And I know this one's for you because he put the title in your name."
"He bought me a car?" Chloe said more slowly, trying to let it sink in.
"Yes, keep up ok." Lois snapped and she could practically hear her rolling her eyes.
"But I just bought a new car, all on my own like six months ago." Chloe reminded her.
"Well it's not new." Lois said. "It's really old actually, did you happen to mention to him some previously, unknown to me at least, love of classic cars?"
"No, I'm not really a car person you know that." Chloe said. "It's a classic car? Like a collectors sort of thing?"
"I guess." Lois said. "A '54 Chevy. Corvette actually, pristine condition. I'll send you the add I found for it online if you like, it's in great condition."
"What the hell's going on?" Chloe asked mainly to herself but Lois just laughed.
"Now aren't you glad I kept snooping?"
"No, now I'm even more confused than I was before." Chloe blew out an annoyed puff of air. "Wait, there's no way he bought a car with a credit card."
"Well that would be ridiculous." Lois snorted. "Do you have any idea what the interest rate would be like on an 80 grand charge?"
"He paid 80 grand for it?" Chloe asked weakly.
"Not like he doesn't have the credit limit though." Lois pointed out.
"So wait, if he didn't pay for it with a credit card, how did he pay?"
"Bank transfer." Lois said absentmindedly then winced when she realized what she'd said.
"How do you know about his bank transfers?" Chloe rolled her eyes skyward in vain. "Lois how do you know…"
"I've got Bobby keeping an eye on his accounts ok. I thought he might try something like this." Lois admitted.
"Something like what?" Chloe was annoyed now. "You can't just hack into someone's bank accounts. That's it, I was humoring you before but you've gone too far. I'm changing his passwords tomorrow and I'm putting a tracker program on so I'll know if you, or Bobby, tries to access them again, are we understood?"
"You take all the fun out of Christmas." Lois pouted before hanging up.
Chloe had spent the better part of her day trying to figure out what on earth would possess Oliver to buy her a car, a classic car of all things. She was distracted all through dinner and didn't even know how she managed without asking Oliver what the hell he was thinking. Currently she was brushing her teeth, trying to figure out how to ask Oliver without actually asking Oliver while he got undressed in the other room. "So the strangest thing happened today, all the passwords on my bank accounts and credit cards were changed."
She winced and then spit, rinsing her mouth out very slowly as she weighed her words carefully. She walked to the bathroom door and smiled, toothbrush in her hand. "Yeah I did that." She turned and walked back into the bathroom and started brushing again.
Oliver dropped his cuff links on the dresser and walked to the bathroom, an expectant smile on his face, watching her through the mirror. "Chloe?" She looked up, her mouth full of toothpaste and raised her eyebrows. "Is there a particular reason why you felt the need to change my passwords?"
Chloe spit again, rinsed her mouth and wiped down the sink then turned around with a smile on her face, at least secure in the knowledge that part of her story wouldn't be completely made up. "Well, see here's the thing, Victor and I were doing a routine check of some of our systems which by the way, there were quite a few surprisingly insecure holes in our security that really need to be addressed in the New Year." She scolded him as if it were his fault when in reality it was her job to deal with all the computer stuff, Oliver just bankrolled it. The truth of it was that she and Victor had been doing a security check earlier that week.
"I'm sure you'll take care of it, you always do, but what does that have to do with my bank account?" He smirked pulling off his shirt and tossing it in the hamper.
"Right so if the systems that Victor and I painstakingly created were so easily breeched I started to wonder about other things. Your bank accounts, my bank accounts, our credit card information, all far too easily accessible." She turned around, unsure as to whether or not she had yet perfected her poker face where Oliver was concerned, she quickly shot back a capful of mouthwash and started to rinse. She spit out the mouthwash and spun around, smiling brightly. "I'm calling the bank in the morning."
"You worry too much." Oliver leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
"I worry just the right amount thank you very much." She winked and squeezed past him to jump into bed. She burrowed under the covers and waited to hear the sound of the heater kicking on as Oliver slid in behind her. She instinctively curled her back up against his chest and sighed at the heat that warmed her.
"Ollie."
"Hmm." He asked sleepily, the sound shaking his chest and echoing through the whole body.
She opened her mouth to ask him, what was up with the car and the fur, but with his warm chest pressed up against her back, his breathing evening out Chloe decided that if Oliver had done something, he'd done it for a reason, so if he bought her a car and a fur coat there was a reason and she was just going to have to trust him. "I love you."
"Love you too." He mumbled into her neck.
****************
"You're never going to guess where I am." Lois was whispering and immediately Chloe realized that was definitely not a good sign.
"Please tell me you're at the Library?" Chloe asked, knowing as soon as the words left her mouth, she'd never be that lucky.
"Yeah, right. No, I'm at the Star City docks." Lois whispered.
"What are you doing in Star City?" Chloe asked, hoping that the additional question of "what are you doing at the docks" would be understood if not stated.
"Following your boyfriend." Lois told her.
Chloe was going to call the doctor on Monday and see if she could get a prescription for valium if she promised to only use it in conjunction with contact with Lois. "Why are you following Oliver?" Chloe asked then paused, checking her watch. "Why is Oliver at the docks in the middle of the day?"
"Now you're asking the right questions." Chloe could practically hear Lois' smile through the phone. "And the answer, dear cousin, is that he's buying you yet another Christmas present. I had a feeling he wasn't quite finished with his spending spree and since you've locked me out of his accounts I've had to do this thing old school. I came into town a couple days early, hope you don't mind."
"What could he possibly be buying me at the…please tell me he didn't buy me a boat." Chloe asked hopefully.
"No, not a boat, defiantly not a boat." Lois laughed and Chloe slumped against her chair in relief. "He bought you a yacht."
"A yacht?" Chloe asked, wondering when her life had turned into this.
"Yeah, hold on he's going into the office, let me see if I can get a closer look." Chloe was put on hold for a minute before Lois came back on the line.
"It's nice." Lois said and Chloe could hear what sounded like doors opening and closing. "A little modern for my tastes but I suppose that's what you get for six million dollars." Chloe could feel her throat closing up a bit. "It's got eight bedrooms, a bar, two salons, a huge master suite, a gym, oh and Jacuzzi." Lois said. "The view from the sun deck is amazing."
"Lois please tell me you didn't sneak onto my yacht." Chloe asked.
"Ha, you're already calling it "your yacht"." Lois snorted into the phone. "He named it Sidekick's Hideaway, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Lois please get off the boat."
"It's not a boat, it's a yacht." Lois corrected her.
"Right, well whatever the hell it is, it's not technically mine yet so you're still technically trespassing and I'm already a little on edge in case you couldn't tell so I'd appreciate it if you would please not get arrested today. I'm not sure I could handle having to come down to the station and bail you out. I know I couldn't handle telling Oliver why I had to bail you out."
"Fine, fine, I'm leaving…oh my God, there's a movie theater in this thing." Lois said before hanging up the phone.
**************
"I'm starting to get worried about him." Lois said walking in the house without preamble. "This isn't like him, tossing money around left and right, especially not on you."
"What does that mean?" Chloe balked at her.
"I mean you're not really the type of girl who would appreciate a Sable coat or a classic car or even a luxury yacht. Hell the only gift I ever got when we were dating was a Maid Marion costume, and come to think of it, I gave that back to him."
"Wait are you actually worried about Ollie or are you just jealous that he bought me a yacht and he only loaned you a costume?"
"Can it be a little of both?" Lois asked and Chloe smiled. "But seriously what's going on with him. I mean I don't think any of these are your "random" gift but at the same time, I don't see him spending this kind of money on... such frivolous things."
"You think there's something else going on?" Chloe asked. Where before she'd just been confused, now she was suddenly worried.
"I don't know. I mean it's not like he suddenly caught some rare disease that makes him buy stupid shit." Lois pointed out. "He hasn't been exposed to any strangely colored meteor rock lately has he?"
"Not that I know of." Chloe chuckled. "Look, I'm tired of talking about this." She rubbed a hand over her face. "Can we just be glad that you're here? Christmas is in five days and I've got all the stuff to make the Gingerbread house in the pantry."
"Fine." Lois pulled herself off the couch and walked to the kitchen. "But I get to put on the shingles this year. You never let me put on the shingles."
*****************
They spent a relatively uneventful evening building the gingerbread house. Oliver was surprised but not unhappy to see Lois there a few days earlier than expected and even her strange interrogation didn't arouse his suspicions that she was there for any reason beyond wanting to spend the holidays with her cousin.
Chloe on the other hand was now firmly in the camp with Lois that something was going on and when Lois donned herself all in black and proceeded to follow Oliver every time he left the house, Chloe turned a blind eye, hoping beyond hope that when she returned it wouldn't be with news of a new purchase. And for two days she was lucky, but then the day before Christmas Eve Lois slipped into the house thirty minutes after Oliver had come home, walked past Chloe and up the stairs without uttering one syllable and Chloe excused herself from the room to follow.
She got to Lois' room, let herself in and closed the door behind her. "What's he bought now?"
"You're not going to like it." Lois shook her head and Chloe glared, crossing her arms over her chest. "Trust me you don't want to know."
"I didn't want to know about the coat, or the car, or the boat but that didn't stop you." Chloe pointed out.
"He bought you a mine." Lois told her.
"A mine?" Chloe frowned. "I don't know what that means."
"It means a mine, like with miners and pick axes and things." Lois said frantically.
"A mine?" Chloe repeated trying to process this in her head. "Like an actually mine where they mine things?"
"Not a whole mine obviously." Lois shook her head. "Because that would run him around 500 million, no he just bought you a controlling share."
They sat in silence for a minute and then Chloe laughed, she couldn't help herself, she laughed at the ridiculousness of the whole situation and at her own confusion and threw her hands in the air, giving up, Lois followed suit and soon they were gasping for breath. "So what do they mine in my mine?" Chloe asked.
"Platinum." Lois told her and Chloe paused, something about that clicking something in her memory but she couldn't quite grasp what exactly.
*****************
Christmas Eve dawned with no significant purchases since the platinum mine and they thought maybe they were in the clear. Lois and Chloe baked and decorated sugar cookies to bring to the hospital later that night, where Oliver would play Santa and pass out gifts to the kids and nothing could spoil the mood, that is until Lois' phone rang out the tune to Mission Impossible.
"That'll be Bobby." Lois wiped her hands off on her apron and grabbed her phone.
"Why is he calling you on Christmas Eve?" Chloe smiled and Lois blushed. "Lois, do you have him working on Christmas Eve?"
"Not exactly." Lois said. "Not for the Planet anyway." She shook her head. "I've got him watching Oliver's accounts for any further activity."
"Oh God, what now?" Chloe threw her hands in the air as Lois answered the phone, talked for a minute, frowned, then hung up the phone. "Did he buy me a plane?" Chloe bit her lip as Lois didn't say anything. "Oh God, bigger? Did he buy me an Island?" Still Lois said nothing, "Two Islands." Chloe was getting more worried with every second. "An archipelago?"
"What? I don't even know what that is." Lois shook her head.
"It's a chain of Islands." Chloe was wringing her hands now.
"No." Lois said. "He bought you well, a house."
"A house?" Chloe frowned. "But I have a house, she motioned the house that they were currently standing in."
"Yeah I know, Bobby says he thinks it's like a rental property." Lois explained. "Two houses technically, it's a duplex."
"He bought me a duplex?" Chloe was confused.
"One more thing." Lois said. "He opened you a bank account."
"A bank account?" Chloe turned to her cousin even more confused now.
"Yeah, he put a few thousand in there then ordered you a box of checks." Lois shrugged.
Lois slid her phone back into her bag and walked over to the stove, pulling the sheet of finished cookies out and sliding them to the countertop. Chloe worked silently icing the snowmen and then moving onto the Christmas trees. Christmas music was playing in the background and slowly Chloe started to humming along, Lois following suit as Brenda Lee sang on about Rocking Around the Christmas Tree.
The song ended and still slightly pre-occupied with trying to figure out just what exactly Oliver was thinking a new song started. Eartha Kitt's Santa Baby. The both of them still absently hummed along with the music as the lyrics managed to somehow penetrate their brains.
Santa Baby, slip a Sable under the tree,
for me.
Been an awful good girl
Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.
Santa baby, a 54 convertible too,
Light blue.
I'll wait up for you dear,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.
Lois stopped transferring the finished cookies to a Tupperware box, listening more intently to song and Chloe followed suit, letting her spatula fall to the table.
Santa baby, I wanna yacht,
And really that's not a lot,
Been an angel all year,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.
Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need,
The deed
To a platinum mine,
Santa honey, so hurry down the chimney tonight.
Lois and Chloe both seemed to connect the dots at the same time, freezing and then looking up at each other. "No way." Chloe just shook her head.
"It has to be." Lois said a smile forming on her face. "A Sable coat." She ticked the presents off her fingers. "A 54 convertible."
"What color was it?" Chloe asked anxiously.
"Light blue." Lois smiled even wider.
"A yacht, a platinum mine." Chloe continued.
"A duplex and checks…" Lois was practically jumping up and down with excitement at this point. "He's buying you presents based on the song."
"But why?" Chloe asked. "I mean I've been singing it around the house for almost a month now but I have no idea what would posses him to do this. Does he think I want these things? That I need these things?"
Lois frowned and then her eyes got wider and wider and wider. She reached over and spun the knob on the radio, turning the song up louder as it came to a close. "There's one more thing, one more gift." Lois pointed out.
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing,
A ring.
I don't mean on the phone,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry, tonight.
"You don't think…" Chloe asked, her throat suddenly very dry. "A ring?"
"Oh my God." Lois screamed practically squealing with excitement. "He's going to…" Chloe reached forward, slapping a hand over her mouth cutting off the last word.
"Don't say it." Chloe warned her as Clark and Oliver poked their head in the door way. They looked at Chloe, and then at Lois who seemed to be bursting to say something that Chloe wasn't allowing her to say.
"Everything ok in here?" Oliver asked.
"Everything's fine." Chloe smiled at him. "Perfect actually. We're almost done with the cookies."
"Ok, well I'm going to change and head to the hospital." Oliver nodded at her.
"Well be ten minutes behind you." Chloe promised, still not removing her hand from Lois' mouth until the both of them were far away from the kitchen. "Don't say it." She said as Lois opened her mouth.
"Don't you want him to?" Lois asked confused as they finished icing the last of the cookies.
"No, I don't know." Chloe looked up at her cousin. "Maybe?"
"Maybe?" Lois whistled. "I'm pretty sure maybe's not the answer he's going to be looking for."
"We don't even know for sure that he's going to be asking me anything that will require an answer." Chloe said sternly.
"You want to find out for sure?" Lois asked, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
"Oh I don't like that look." Chloe shook her head as Lois just smiled brighter.
An hour later, when they were forty five minutes late for the hospital party they stood in the middle of Chloe's completely decimated closet even more confused than they had been before. "I don't understand." Lois was looking around. "There's no ring anywhere in this house."
"Lois just drop it." Chloe shook her head dejectedly.
"You don't have like any smuggler's holds or secret tunnels?" She asked instead.
"Drop it." Chloe snapped. When Lois had first suggested that Oliver might be planning on asking her the question, she sort of panicked, she wasn't sure if she was ready for that, if they were ready for that. She told herself as they tore apart the house searching for the ring that she only needed to know for sure so that she could figure out what to say to him. But now, now that they hadn't found a ring, that all signs were pointing to the fact that he wasn't planning on asking her that very important question she found herself sorely disappointed.
"You would have said yes huh?" Lois asked, for the first time since she started this whole thing, actually feeling bad about it.
"I think so yeah." Chloe nodded. "It doesn't matter, when he's ready I'll be ready." She rubbed the back of her neck. "Come on, we need to get to the hospital and figure out some way to explain to Oliver what happened to the house."
"We could say you were robbed." Lois offered, stepping over piles of clothes to make her way to the door.
"Robbed by someone who took nothing?" Chloe asked.
"I could take a few things." Lois smiled. "Just to make it believable."
***************
Chloe somehow actually managed to forget her disappointment when they got to the hospital. Watching Oliver play Santa, how he was with the kids didn't make her want him to ask her any less, in fact it made her want it all the more but she knew that someday they would get there and she was ok with waiting. She'd even almost managed to put the whole thing out of her mind until Lois came up and poked her in the back. She'd been sitting down with a girl named Emily from the cancer ward who was showing Chloe all the things her new doll could do and Chloe almost spilled her coffee all over the place. "We forgot something." Lois whispered conspiratorially in her ear.
"Lois, I'm in the middle of something." Chloe pointed out as Emily looked up confused.
"Hey kid." Lois looked down at the girl. "You like magic?" Emily nodded. "Ok, I want you to go over there and count to fifty and something…amazing will happen." Emily nodded and walked over to the corner that Lois had indicated. Chloe could see her counting as Lois grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet.
"Lois you don't know any magic." Chloe protested.
"Sure I do, I'm about to make us disappear." She said slipping through the doors and taking Chloe with her. Chloe tried to protest but Lois simply stuck her phone in Chloe's face. "We forgot something, in the song."
Chloe grabbed the phone and held it slightly further back so that she could actually read it and noticed that on the screen was a website with the lyrics to Santa Baby. One line in particular stood out to Chloe, the same line that Lois had noticed.
Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's
Chloe turned to Lois. "Did we check the tree?" She asked.
"No." Lois smiled. "Did you see anything different about it? Ornaments that you didn't put there?" Chloe shook her head and Lois smiled bigger. "Do you want to drive?" Chloe just nodded her head and grabbed the keys out of her hand.
They made it back to the house in record time, Chloe was almost positive that she'd be receiving at least two red light camera tickets at the first of the year but it didn't matter. When they walked into the living room they noticed that all over the tree, nestled in different places, were over half a dozen little blue boxes. "How did we not see that before?" Chloe stepped forward cautiously then stopped. "Wait, we can't do this, this is not what civilized people do." Chloe stepped back. "This is wrong, it's just…wrong." Chloe said firmly and Lois nodded.
"Right. You feel better having said that?" Chloe nodded. "Good, I give you permission to blame this all on me if it blows up in our faces." Lois stepped forward and grabbed the first blue box.
"Don't you mean when?" Chloe asked following Lois and grabbing her own blue box.
Eight Robin's Egg Blue boxes, three sets of earrings, two necklaces, two bracelets and one key chain later they were still ring less. Chloe sat dejectedly on the floor of the living room, open boxes all around her as she slowly began to realize just what she'd done. "Oh God." She said seeing the destruction that her house had become. Drawers were pulled out, cushions overturned, no surface left unexplored in Lois and Chloe's quest to find something they weren't even sure Oliver had bought her.
"I thought for sure we'd find it here." Lois pouted.
"Do you see what we've done?" Chloe collapsed backwards, smacking her head painfully into the plush carpet. "What kind of person does this?" Chloe asked. "I can't believe I…" She took a deep breath and turned to Lois, her eyes wide. "Oh God, I've ruined Christmas."
"Don't be so melodramatic." Lois snorted.
"I'm not." Chloe protested. "Look around you, I've destroyed the house, I've opened all of Oliver's presents, completely ruined the surprise and for what?" She could feel the tears start to well up in her eyes as she stared up through the bottom of the Christmas tree at the ceiling. A flash of blue floated through the edge of her vision and then something landed on her chest, small but hard. She lifted her head up and saw one unopened Tiffany's box lying there.
"Looking for this?" Someone asked from the doorway and Chloe sat up abruptly to see the smiling face of Oliver as he leaned against the edge of the couch. The box tumbled from her chest to the floor and Chloe reached out a hand to grab it.
"Oliver…I…" Chloe looked around the room and then at the box in her hands. "It's all Lois' fault." She offered lamely and Oliver laughed, a real, deep, hearty laugh before pushing himself up off the couch and walking toward her.
"I'd imagine it is, yeah." Oliver cast one fleeting look of amusement at Lois who was trying and failing to look indignant. "So are you going to open it?" He asked stopping in front of Chloe and crouching down so that they were at eye level with each other.
"I…but…you…" Chloe really honestly couldn't remember where her grasp of the English language had gone and for some reason she couldn't make her mouth form the words Sorry, I didn't mean to, and Again, Lois.
"Well I mean I had this whole thing planned, you know with the song and the presents, but I'm guessing you already know about all that." Oliver slowly, gently took the box from her fingers which wasn't easy because she had it in a vice like grip.
"You bought me a yacht." Chloe swallowed. "And a platinum mine." She shook her head, slowly returning to reality a bit. "What am I supposed to do with a platinum mine?" She asked him, half serious, half panicked.
"You'd been dancing around, singing that song since the middle of November and I just thought it would be a cute way to do this."
"It was a crazy way to do this." Chloe laughed at him as tears welled up in her eyes.
"I'm gonna stick with cute." Oliver shook his head.
"You bought me a platinum mine." Chloe reiterated as if that made her whole point for her.
"Only half of one technically. And you don't have to keep anything you don't want to." Oliver chuckled as he slid the ribbon off the box, opened the top and dumped a black velvet ring box into his hands.
"I'll take the yacht." Lois piped up rapidly.
Oliver and Chloe both shot a look at Lois that was equal parts endeared with equal parts, shut the hell up. She was about to say something else when Clark was suddenly at her side, his hand covering her mouth. "Look." Oliver said, his voice shaky with nerves, his fingers no longer sure as they fumbled with the box, struggling to open it and Chloe slid her hands over his, stilling them. "Last year I went through hell just to spend Christmas with you and it made me realize that I wanted to spend every Christmas with you, and every Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day and pretty much the rest of my life." He took a deep breath. "I bought this ring on January 3rd last year but I waited until now to give it to you…not because I was unsure but because Christmas is sort of our time and we're usually pretty lucky in the way of miracles this time of year."
"You thought you'd need a miracle to get me to marry you?" Chloe laughed wiping her tears away.
"I wasn't going to take any chances." Oliver pointed out flipping the box open to reveal a stunningly perfect pear shaped diamond solitaire ring, simple and elegant and so very…Chloe. "So what do you say?"
"Well I didn't tear the house apart just to say no." Chloe smiled at him, reaching forward, desperate to kiss him, wondering what she could have possibly done in a past life that was so good to earn her someone like Oliver in this one.
"So that's a yes right?" Bart asked from the doorway.
Chloe pulled away from Oliver, panting, her cheeks flushed, a smile on her face and she nodded. "That was most definitely a yes." She assured him as Oliver slipped the ring onto her finger.
"Son of a…" Bart grumbled, digging a hundred out of his pocket and slapping it into Dinah's outstretched hand.
She just smirked and slipped the bill into her top of her bra. "Merry Christmas to me." She said. "I believe this calls for champagne." She turned into the kitchen.
***************
After the celebration had died down and everyone had tried to lay claim to one of Chloe's Christmas presents, Lois changing her request to the car when Chloe had adamantly declared that she was most definitely keeping the yacht, after everyone had either gone home or wandered off into one of the guest rooms, Chloe and Oliver found themselves curled up on the couch, a fire roaring in front of them and half a bottle of warm champagne on the table. The both of them were acutely aware of how much this mirrored their very first Christmas together. "So maybe I didn't ruin Christmas after all." Chloe smirked.
"Not completely." Oliver chuckled. "You also didn't actually manage to ruin all the surprises." He smirked walking over to the tree and pulling a very square, flat present from underneath it.
"What's this?" Chloe asked taking it from him. "Let me guess." She studied the thin gift and smiled. "Based on the shape and size, I think you've gone out and bought me my very own Sovereign Nation and this is the Royal Decree making me it's Queen and Master."
Oliver laughed deeply at her and shook his head. "Nothing quite so extravagant I'm afraid."
"Wonderful." Chloe smiled pulling the paper open. "Because the only other thing it could be is a new calendar, which is just what I wanted seeing as how in about six days mine will no longer be useful."
"Not a calendar either." Oliver shook his head as Chloe ripped off the paper eager now and this, this was what she was trying to explain to Lois all those weeks ago, this feeling, this excitement of not knowing what you were going to get.
"It's a record." She said flipping the small sleeve over in her hands in confusion.
"Not just any record." Oliver took it from her and walked over to the sound system, sliding the vinyl out of its sleeve and slipping it onto the record player. "It's an original first pressing of "Yes! We Have No Bananas" from the 1922 Broadway revue, Make It Snappy."
"Of course, I should have realized." Chloe chuckled as he lowered the needle and the song spilled into the room. Oliver winced slightly as the music started.
There's a fruit store on our street
It's run by a Greek.
"I'll admit, it's not very Christmassy." He held out his hand and Chloe stood up and allowed him to spin her around the room, the two of them laughing and dancing as the song played on in the background.
"It's perfect." Chloe countered and right then at that moment, it really was.
But yes, we have no bananas
We have no bananas today.
They collapsed on the couch as the record ended in a tangle of limbs and laughter and the grandfather clock in the hall chimed signaling the arrival of midnight. "Merry Christmas." Chloe kissed Oliver softly, unable to wipe the smile off of her face. She was only slightly worried that it would stick there and never come off and her cheeks were starting to hurt but it didn't matter. She pulled away and laid her had on his chest. "Oh by the way, there's a five foot model of the Napoleon in Clark's barn loft." Chloe said tiredly.
"The French Naval Battleship Napoleon?" Oliver asked. "First ever steam powered battles ship?" Chloe lifted her head up to look at him, amusement sparkling in his eyes. "Yeah, Clark is surprisingly just as bad as Lois at keeping secrets." He laughed. "You know when it doesn't involve having super powers or being from another planet."
"Sorry I didn't get you anything else…I've been a little pre-occupied." She shrugged.
"Don't worry." Oliver reached out and grabbed her left hand, slipping his fingers through hers; sliding along the band of the ring that now lay on her fourth finger as if it had always been there, as if it belonged there. "You got me everything I wanted."
*********
Author's Note: There was supposed to be at least two more chapters but I'd like to get them done before Christmas so it might just be the one more, but at least they'll be one more. Hope you enjoyed and feedback is always the best Christmas present.