You Know That, Right?

Note- This chapter takes place during season three episode sixteen titled "An Elephant's Memory" The quote mentioned below was used in the episode.

"A sad soul can kill you faster than any germ." John Steinbeck

Chapter Three

Derek Morgan was getting better at faking that he was happy. He could smile a little at Penelope again and really mean it.

It wasn't that he didn't hurt just as much deep inside but he was getting used to the hurt now. It was becoming a part of him- which scared him a little. Like his heartbreak was a scar that would never go away. He would just have to deal with carrying the pain in his bones for the rest of his life.

Even if that was the case he didn't regret falling in love with her. She still was the sunshine in his world, even on his darkest days.

He was at the gym when he got paged that there was a new case. After grabbing a quick shower he got dressed and headed into the BAU. He happened to be on the elevator when Penelope walked up and said "Hold those doors, Hot Stuff."

He did as she asked and she got on.

"Baby girl. It looks like this case ruined your date." He looked at the sexy dress she had on.

"Nothing like that," she said quickly. "I was having dinner with the girls. I just beat them here in Esther.....actually....um...I'mnotwithKevinanymore."

"What was that?"

"Uh...the Kevin thing....didn't work out, handsome." She turned her big brown eyes on him and he felt himself freeze as he stared into them.

Then the doors opened and he motioned for her to walk out. "Did Lynch do something to hurt you?"

"Of course not! He's a wonderful man!"

Derek stopped walking. "I don't get it. If he's so wonderful than why did you dump....wait, did he end it with you?"

"I ended it and I have my reasons."

"Oh. Well....as long as you're okay with it."

"I am. I just hope that..."

"What, baby girl?"

"I hope that everything truly does happen for a reason," she said before she walked off and into the briefing room, taking away Derek's chance to get more answers out of her.

XXXXXX

Penelope worried about how Derek was handling this case. She had heard from Prentiss that Reid was taking it hard, and she felt bad about that, but she knew it could be affecting Derek too.

The team was in Texas. The case centered around teenage bullies who had forced a boy to masturbate on camera and then put in on the internet. Derek was around the same age when he was forced into sexual acts. It could be bringing back bad memories.

She wondered how she could help him to get through this when he got home. Last time they returned from a case he wouldn't even get a drink with her.

Would he be more receptive now that he knew that Kevin was out of her life? Did that matter to him at all? Had she broken things off with a great guy, who she had tons in common with, for no reason at all? She really needed to ask Derek what he meant when he said he loved her but she didn't want to be let down if his answer was "As a friend," or "You're like family to me."

Plus if she had messed up and hurt him she wanted to give him time to heal and be ready to forgive her before she apologized. It all felt too raw right now. The last few months had taken a heavy toll on them.

She prayed that they wouldn't break under the weight of this. When Derek called about the case, after he asked her what to find, she asked him "Hey, do you think you can do me a favor when you get back in town?"

"What do you need?"

"There's this pipe broken in my bathroom and I can't use the sink in there. I'd get a plumber but with my hours I'm never home to meet him and my landlord has a million excuses. It would be such a big help to me if you could be my hero and take a look at it. I can offer you pizza as payment. You pick the toppings. Please, Morgan, I really need that sink to properly do my make up-"

"Say no more. I'll take a look for you."

"As soon as you come back?"

"I'll probably need a part so-"

"Maybe not and I really do need that sink. I can't go out looking less than my normal Goddess self."

"Fine, baby girl," he said, his voice filled with indulgence. "As soon as I get back I'll look at it."

"Thank you!"

"Bye, sweetheart."

She clicked off the call and said "You don't call me brilliant for nothing, baby."

Even if she wasn't ready to discuss them she could at least be who she had always been to him. The friend he needed to help chase the darkness away. On her lunch hour she went home and clogged up the pipe with hair out of her hair brush.

XXXXXXXXX

Derek found that he was feeling the most relaxed as he had in months when he walked up to Penelope's door. Even during the time he stayed with her after she was shot he wasn't feeling this good.

They were both wracked with nightmares then. The days were spent trying to joke and fill the hours, with her constantly telling him to go home and back to his life and him telling her he would do that when she was ready to go back to work again.

When she did go back he was afraid it was too soon for her. Or maybe it was just too soon for him to give up living with her. That first case was hard. He didn't want to be in California. He wanted to be home with her. Checking on her by calling helped to ease his mind but he didn't feel really good again till he was back in Quantico, in her computer lab with her.

Of course, looking back now, he wonders if she was already sleeping with Kevin on that day. He pushes that thought out of his mind. He's come to see his baby girl and he won't let anything- especially that guy she dated for a month- get in his way.

Derek knocked on the door. Soon she opened it, wearing a big smile and very colorful sweat pants, plus a huge t-shirt that was tie dyed.

He had seen her in this outfit before. It reminded him of the hours they spent watching movies together or when he would read her novels as she tried to fall asleep, doped up on medicine but afraid of nightmares so she fought dozing off.

He chuckled at her outfit, as he wore a tender smile, "Hey, baby, point me toward your broken sink."

"Its in the bathroom and thank you so much for coming over tonight. I really appreciate it."

"Anything for you, honey."

They ended up in the bathroom together, crouched down as he used a tool to take apart her sink, clean out the hair and then put it back together. "Should be good as new now."

"You're my hero, sweetness."

There was a knock on the door. Penelope said "Pizza's here."

Derek washed his hands and then he met her in the living room, after she already paid the delivery guy. "You didn't have to get us dinner. You don't owe me anything ever for helping you. I do it because I lo....because you're important to me."

"I know but you have to eat and so why not eat with me? I know you're a sexy stud who doesn't load up on carbs but this is my type of comfort food, after chocolate...." she then flirted "which you know if my favorite."

He got out some plates and drinks and joined her on the couch. "I'm starving. Thanks, baby girl. You always take such good care of me."

She placed her hand on his back and rubbed soft circles. "That's what I'm here for."

Derek almost felt in that moment she was trying to apologize to him but he wasn't sure and he didn't know what he would say if she did. Nothing changed the fact that she picked Lynch over him.

But nothing also changed the fact that he would rather be here with her tonight than anywhere else in the world.