A/N: Thank you to Celine the Magnanimous. :)

After a short interval (that was not a joke about Filius, by the way) the five staff members re-conformed in front of the Christmas tree. Filius's presents were renowned for their skilled charm work, for obvious reasons.

"Albus," Filius squeaked, "this one is for you." He handed the Headmaster a small neon yellow box with a blue ribbon wrapped around it.

Opening the box, Albus caught flashes of shiny material until he finally removed all of the papery padding. Inside was a pair of polished silver scissors with an intricate little phoenix depicted on the side. But Albus didn't even try to pick them up before they whirled up into the air around his head and began snipping away mercilessly at his treasured hair and beard, creating a light fog around the Headmaster.

A moment later, when the mist dispersed, Albus Dumbledore re-emerged. His colleagues sat in stunned silence. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore had a mullet. A pink one, at that. They couldn't help it anymore.

Minerva and Pomona looked as if they were being relentlessly tickled while Filius was letting out squeaky giggles and Severus actually had tears in his eyes.

"Please," pleaded Albus, "just put it back. Please!"

"Well, since you beg so nicely…" With a swift flick of Filius's wand, Albus's mane was restored to its former grey glory.

"Wow, I wish I had a camera just then," Pomona interjected.

"Of course you do. Any way, shall we get on with this? Severus, would you like yours next?" Albus asked this quickly in an attempt to change the subject. But, little did he know, none of them would ever forget it.

Filius passed Severus a thick, bulky black box which, when unwrapped, revealed some black robes that looked just like the Potions Master's customary gloomy ones.

"Well," began Filius, "I would be much obliged if you would go and try them on." With a suspicious look at the others, Severus Snape rose and left the room to put on the new robes.

"What in Merlin's green beard are you playing at?" Pomona asked curiously.

"You'll see."

Sure enough, less than a minute later, there came a shriek from the adjacent room.

"FLITWICK!" was Severus's only reply.

When Severus re-entered the room, the other teachers were laughing, though somewhat confusedly at his outburst.

"What happened Severus?" inquired Minerva lightly.

The Potions Master gave a little incomprehensible grunt before repeating more loudly: "They changed colour."

"What?"

"They were pink and orange and green... it was awful." The rest of the staff chuckled at his dazed expression.

"What I would have given to see that!" added Pomona in an undertone.

"Minerva, this one is for you!" Filius said, handing (with some effort) the deputy headmistress a box that was about the size of himself. From the box emerged a fluffy white stuffed dog with brown patches over the ears and eyes. The staff were so busy admiring the teddy that they never noticed the sliver of parchment that the little Charms professor passed to the Herbology mistress.

"Oh sweet Merlin!" cried Pomona loudly.

"What is it, Pomona?" asked Albus with thorough concern.

"I-I thought I saw a mouse run under that cabinet," she explained, pointing at a dark wooden cabinet containing several glass bottles. "Minerva, be a pal and check, will you?"

"I suppose so." Minerva agreed. She quickly transformed into her feline form and darted towards the cabinet. However, it seemed that the dog had other plans; it suddenly sprang to life and chased straight after the tabby cat. Minerva zipped around the room, trying to escape the dog, but it wouldn't leave her alone for a second. After several minutes, she finally surrendered and leapt onto the lap of a severely laughing Albus Dumbledore. The dog continued the bark at his feet until Minerva transformed back into her human self. Then, it was still. It just stopped.

"My goodness. How dense do you have to be to keep running from a stuffed toy? But then, you are a Gryffindor I suppose." Severus drawled.

"Better than being a sly pretentious Slytherin prat!" Minerva retorted.

"Now, now children! Play nicely!" chastised Albus.

"Right… well, last - but certainly not least – Pomona!" Filius gave her a small square package wrapped in yellow paper that was covered in spiralling ivy creepers. The present contained a small migraine-inducingly bright neon pink tub with a bright yellow label which read: 'VANISH – for all your stain removal needs!'

"Why, you cheeky little wart! Are you saying I need to shower more?"

"Well… it wouldn't hurt…" Filius replied feebly.

"You put your foot in it!" Albus and Minerva replied in perfect synchronisation.

"You bet he did!" Pomona screeched.

"I'm supposing that you don't want your second present then?" Filius asked quietly.

"What might that be?"

"A bar of soap!"

"Why, you…!" Pomona shouted irately. She got increasingly angry by the second. Put it this way, by the time she had cooled down, Filius was lucky to still have his head. The others, in contrast, were physically restraining themselves form laughing in each others' faces.

"Albus! Get on with your presents before I tear Filius to shreds!" Pomona commanded.

"Yes ma'am!"