You Know That, Right?

Note- This chapter takes place during season three episode nineteen titled Tabula Rasa. The quote used below comes from this episode- which is full of flashbacks to when Reid and Garcia were new to the BAU.

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." Anatole France.

Chapter Five

The case they had was one that started way back in 2004 and got stalled because the suspect went into a coma. Now that he was awake it was time to rebuild the case, recheck their evidence and get more so the prosecutor would have enough to get a conviction.

For days they talked about the past. And the time frame that happened to be most relevant was at the very same time that Derek met Penelope.

It made him remember how they were back then. That whole first year was amazing. It was exciting to get to know her. To flirt and then push the flirting further and further. The first time he touched her hand, held her hand, touched her shoulders from behind- squeezing them and feeling her shiver with delicious sensual appreciation of his touch-the first time they hugged, when they went to the bar as a team and he found out how she didn't like to dance. The times they stayed way too late in the conference room, going over cases, but really just getting to know each other.

It was one of the best years of his life really. He just didn't fully get that at the time. He was too busy having fun. Screwing around. Feeling invincible.

He didn't feel like that anymore.

Needing to reconnect with Penelope, in the worse way, he headed to her office but he bumped into Lynch as the younger man was trying to walk outside.

"Agent Morgan, good to see you again."

Derek just grunted and walked past him, while Kevin headed down the hall. Letting out a frustrated breath Derek walked inside of the office. "Hey, baby, everything all right?"

Her face was pinched. "Sure!"

He bent in front of her and took her hands. "Don't put on a smiling face for me, okay? What's up with you? What was Lynch doing here?"

"He asked me out for tonight."

Derek stood up and took a few steps back. "You said that was over."

She stood up. "It is, handsome. He's just persistent. He doesn't understand why I ended it when we were getting along well. But I felt....he just isn't the one, you know? I don't think it was a mistake to date him because everything does happen for a reason. I needed all that to happen to see the truth about what my future should be.....at least I think so. I really do want to believe that because if I'm wrong I've hurt good people for no reason....people I hate myself for disappointing."

"Are you confused about if you want Lynch?"

"No! I don't want him. I completely do not want him. On paper we are good together and we had fun but I need....to feel breathless. He doesn't make me breathless. I'm kinda scared of what will happen if I become as breathless as I know I can be....but it's a good scared....an excited nervousness that makes me feel more alive than I have in all my life."

"Did you get with him because you were afraid of that breathless feeling?"

"I just didn't think it could be mine."

"Why not, baby? No man has ever offered you that?"

"One did but I didn't realize it right away."

"He should have been more clear, I guess. Not everyone is as good with their words as you are, sweetness."

She smiled at him. "Well I do give lessons, if you're interested."

He laughed and the tension was broken. "I just came by to ask you if you want to get that drink tonight....the one I owe you from bailing before."

"I would adore that, my hunk of burning love."

He laughed harder. "Don't use that one again."

She teased "Oh, yes, I will and in front of the whole team."

"Woman, I am warning you."

"You don't like it? Spank me."

"Just wait till the next time we are alone somewhere that there aren't cameras."

"I can hardly wait. In fact if you keep me waiting too long I'll have to make a trip to the mall for all new panties."

His eyes widened. "You are so bad, Garcia! You're corrupting me."

"Not enough yet but I could if you ask me nicely."

He chuckled and headed for the door. "I'll be back at quitting time. You be good till then."

"You can't turn a bad girl good, Morgan. You know that, right?"

He couldn't stop grinning as he left. Penelope sunk into her seat and spun around, looking upwards, and sighing happily.

XXXXXXXXXX

By the time they got to the bar Penelope had been struck by a case of the nerves. Her head swam with concerns. She wasn't dressed sexy enough. Were they going to kiss? Would they talk about the whole I love you thing that happened before? Would he expect her to, God help her, dance?

Derek could tell she was starting to freak out so he put his hand on her back, as they headed for a table, and whispered in her ear "Relax, you are in good hands."

She gave him a small smile. He pulled out a chair for her and she sat down. He said "I'm gonna go get us some drinks, okay? Anything in particular that you're in the mood for?"

"I'm here for the company not the alcohol so anything will do, handsome."

He nodded and left. She looked all around at the other couples. To her eyes all the women were hotter than her and she wondered how long it would be till Derek went back to his playboy ways. All she knew was that she needed to see what they could be.

Even if it ended in heartbreak.

When he came back he pulled his chair right up to hers, at the round table, so he could speak in a low voice and she would hear him. He said "Here you go, baby. I got us club soda so we can drive home in a little bit."

They had both brought their own cars. They sipped their drinks for a moment.

He asked her "Wasn't that case today wild? That guy forgot his whole life for a while there. I can't even imagine it....forgetting my beautiful baby girl."

"It would be a tragedy for sure."

"Even if I forgot you...Penelope....I know I'd fall for you all over again. There's just something about you that is irresistible to me." His eyes searched hers for a reaction.

After a moment her eyes clouded with tears "I'm so sorry, handsome!"and then she ran out.

Derek chased her and found her outside. "Wait, baby girl! Wait! What's going on? Why are you sorry?.....Is it because you want Lynch? Just say it if you want him. I can take it. Just because we're friends don't let me push you into something you don't want with me."

"You silly man! I'm sorry for ever being with Lynch and hurting you. I love you! And now you don't even believe me because I hurt you by ignoring your wonderful, amazing words to me when you first told me about your love for me. I ruined everything. I have to get out of here."

He pulled her close to him and said "Not before I get a good night kiss," he said, in a throaty growl, and then his lips connected with her, giving her a kiss that left her clinging to him....feeling completely breathless.