It's Christmastime Again, Shino Kosuke!
Shino: Why is my name in the title?
madjack89: Hello everyone, and merry Christmas!
Everyone: Merry Christmas!
Shino: Why is my name in the title, Madjack?
madjack89: That's right, it's that time of year again, and you know what that means. Another Frontier 02 Christmas special based on another classic Christmas special!
Shino: Okay, but WHY IS MY NAME IN THE TITLE?!
madjack89: Well duh! You're the star!
Shino: …What?
madjack89: I made you the star because I figured I tortured Kouji enough last year…
Kouji: Damn right you did.
madjack89: …and you seemed to fit the part!
Shino: What part…?
madjack89: You can't tell from the title?
Takuya: You expected us to be able to tell what the theme this year is from THAT title?
JP: It's vague as crap!
madjack89: Guys, think for a second. Why would I have used Shino's full name?
Everyone: thinking…
Zoe: You didn't.
madjack89: I did!
Shino: What?
JP: …Oh my god, I just got it! Wow…
Shino: What? I still don't get it!
Kouji: Calm down, it's better than what she did to me.
madjack89: True, very true.
Shino: What is it?
madjack89: It's the Peanuts, silly! Your full name is in the title because you're the one portraying Charlie Brown!
Shino: …Charlie Brown?
Takuya and JP: snicker
Kouichi: Out of curiosity, who are the rest of us supposed to portray?
madjack89: I didn't give anyone else specific parts, though Hotaru is mostly Schroeder because he plays the piano!
Everyone: You play the piano?!
Hotaru: Yeah…
Dai: He's actually really good!
Hotaru: looks embarrassed
madjack89: Well, it seems like we're all going to learn some things about each other today!
Shino: …I'm like Charlie Brown?
madjack89: On to the story!
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. I do not own Peanuts. These two facts make me very sad…
—
Snow. It had begun to fall in the earliest hours of dawn and had persisted throughout the morning, covering the world in a thick blanket of white. The houses, the trees, everything was covered with snow. And the pond sparkled and shone, its icy coat beautiful and unearthly…
"Argh!" Until Kouichi fell facedown onto the glistening ice and ruined my monologue!
"Sorry Chief!" Takuya called, turning and skating back to check on his friend. "I forgot that on ice, accidently brushing against you is like shoving you down."
"It's alright," Kouichi reassured, struggling to get back to his feet on the ice.
"Here." Zoe was suddenly next to Kouichi, extending her hand to help him up.
Feeling slightly embarrassed, Kouichi took Zoe's hand and she hauled him back to his feet. "Thanks," he mumbled, blushing faintly as he glanced at his feet. "But could you please remind me why I'm skating when I suck at it?"
"Simple," Zoe said, grabbing Kouichi's arm and half-dragging him across the ice. "I don't suck at it."
Kouichi rolled his eyes, smirking. "Yes, you are quite the virtuoso."
"That I am," Zoe replied, smiling at Kouichi as they both skated past Shino, who sat in a patch of grass and watched his friends skate, feeling a bit melancholy.
Kouji sat next to him and didn't look happy himself, but couldn't complain because Shino had gotten him out of having to skate. The only reason their friends had let them pass on the skating was because they said they'd "keep each other company."
Now they both sat side by side under a snow-covered tree, letting their gloominess consume their thoughts. Shino sighed, watching Zoe and Kouichi skate by.
Kouji glanced at Shino, then at his brother and Zoe. "Is that what you're depressed about?" he asked curiously.
"Not exactly, though you just had to put the Kouizumi moment in there, didn't you Madjack?" Shino replied, glancing at me. (Heh…sorry!) "Anyway," Shino continued, "it's not my relationship issues, or lack thereof, that's bothering me. It's just that…well, for some reason, when Christmas comes along, I get a little depressed."
"Join the club. We've got T-shirts," Kouji retorted dryly.
Shino gave Kouji a puzzled look. "You really do get cranky around this time of year, don't you? I still remember how you threw a pillow at me last year."
"Speaking of which, why were you running errands for spirits, anyway?" Kouji asked, staring suspiciously at Shino.
"Uh…so yeah, Christmas always gets me in a pretty bad mood," Shino said, avoiding Kouji's question. "I guess it's because I don't really understand what it's about and…"
"Incoming!" Shino turned around just as Neemon slammed into him, causing them both to slam against the tree, and causing the snow on top of the tree to fall onto them (including Kouji) in one big snowy heap.
The others, including the Digimon that had joined them, stared at the small mound of snow for a moment. Then Bokomon said, "I knew we shouldn't have tried to form a skating chain."
—
The Next Day…
Shino opened his door and trudged outside, feeling even worse than he had yesterday. It was Christmas Eve and he should have felt happy, but he just felt fed up with everything.
Before walking down the sidewalk, he stopped and checked his mailbox for any mail. It was completely empty. Shino frowned. "There's another good thing about the holidays; no one ever bothers to send me a Christmas card."
"Merry almost Christmas, Shino!" Dai suddenly skipped up to Shino (sometimes I wonder about this boy…) a big grin on his face. Then he stopped and glanced at Shino's empty mailbox. "Were you expecting mail today or something?"
"No, why should I expect mail?" Shino grumbled, a bit annoyed by Dai's presence. "Oh, speaking of which, thanks a lot for the Christmas card you sent me, Dai. It was awesome."
Dai gave Shino a quizzical look. "I didn't send you a card, Shino. But maybe…yes! An alien has been studying me for months, trying to learn all about me so that it can take my place! Then it and its race can slowly begin to infiltrate the earth!
"Well, your plan has failed!" Dai raised his head and yelled. "I wouldn't have sent a card, and now I'm on to you!" Dai turned and ran back down the street, shouting as he left, "I'll see you later, Shino! I have to get my alien detection device!"
Shino watched, wide-eyed, as Dai turned a corner, headed back toward his house. "Sarcasm is wasted on him, isn't it?" Shino muttered to himself. (Like I said, sometimes I wonder about that boy…)
—
Later on, Shino heard a bit of commotion in his backyard and rushed out to see what was going on. What he found was Witchmon, Gatomon, Gotsumon, and Dragramon trying to stuff themselves into the empty dog house sitting in Shino's yard. Wizardmon, oddly enough, was lounging on top of the dog house dozing.
Shino stared at the scene for a second before shouting, "What the hell are you guys doing?! And why is Wizardmon here?!"
The Digimon turned at the sound of Shino's voice, looking sheepish. Wizardmon, however, just opened one eye curiously, noticed Shino, and said nonchalantly, "Hey comrade."
"Don't call me that!" Shino said, glaring at Wizardmon. "I'm not your comrade!"
"Whatever, comrade," Wizardmon retorted, going back to his dozing.
Eye twitching, Shino shifted his attention to the rest of the group. "Okay, what are you guys doing trying to stuff yourselves into the dog house in my backyard?"
"Well, we can't stuff ourselves into anyone else's dog house," Dragramon said as if this were the obvious answer.
Shino took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Okay, how about this? Why are you guys even here?"
"Are you kidding?" Witchmon exclaimed. "We're here to celebrate Christmas with you guys! We were skating with you yesterday, remember?"
"Yes, I remember," Shino said flatly, recalling the skating chain incident.
"Yeah, we originally came for that reason, but then it occurred to us that we didn't have anywhere to stay," Gotsumon explained. "So…can we stay in your dog house?"
"We won't be any trouble," Gatomon added, using her best cute kitty face.
"Uh, two questions," Shino said, staring curiously at the Digimon. "First, why is Wizardmon here and second, where have you been, Gatomon?"
"I'm not at liberty to say," Gatomon replied, glancing nervously at me. (Good girl.)
"If you're wondering if I'm here to cause trouble, I'm not," Wizardmon stated, hopping down from the dog house. "I just came because I can't stand Ilsemon's Christmas parties."
-
Meanwhile, at the Rose Morning Star…
"Hey, has anybody seen Wizardmon?" Impmon asked, glancing around the meeting room. "He hasn't been around the past few days."
"So?" The others replied indifferently.
Impmon sighed. "It's good to know you guys'll have my back if I'm eva in trouble."
"When are you going to realize that none of us like each other?" Hallucimon said.
"We're all forced to work together by our obligation to Ilsemon," Renamon added. "You might as well act miserable and broody like the rest of us."
Before Impmon could reply, Ilsemon burst into the room, looking a lot happier than she normally did. "Okay everyone, it's time for the Christmas party!" she exclaimed, smiling creepily. "And this year, I thought we'd just skip the food and dancing and go straight to the party games."
The other Digimon flinched, remembering what Ilsemon's idea of "games" translated to.
~Aw, I wanted to get down with my funky self, Nina whined, disappointed by the lack of dancing.
"You dance all the time, anyway," Duskmon muttered a reply, which to the others made it look like he was talking to himself.
"Duskmon, thank you for volunteering!" Ilsemon exclaimed, holding up a large bag of needles and a blow torch. "So, which game shall we play first?"
"Wait, I wasn't volunteering!" Duskmon tried futilely to explain this, but was nonetheless dragged off by Ilsemon to participate in her "games."
-
Back at Shino's…
Wizardmon shivered, remembering the last "game" he'd had to partake in. "Let's just say that for Ilsemon, torture is like a party game."
Shino sighed. "Fine, you guys can stay. Just try not to let my parents see you."
"Okay!" The group nodded.
"I'll try not to give you too much trouble, comrade," Wizardmon said, smirking.
"Stop calling me comrade!" Shino growled, slamming his back door behind him.
—
"Ahhhh." Takuya held out his tongue, catching one of the snowflakes that had begun to fall. He then swallowed the melted water, noticing Shino's approach. "Hey buddy! Wanna catch snowflakes with me?! Kira refuses to!"
"Why do you refuse to catch snowflakes, Kira?" Shino asked, joining the pair.
"Two words: acid rain," Kira replied simply. "Where do you think all that acid goes in the winter? Into snow."
"You're being such a baby about it," Takuya mumbled, rolling his eyes.
As a retort, Kira turned and punched Takuya in the face. Shino glanced between the fallen Takuya and Kira and said, "I think I'll see you guys later," then rushed off so as not to incur Kira's wrath.
"At least I had something soft to land on this time," Takuya muttered, spitting out a mouthful of snow.
Farther down the sidewalk, Dai, Hotaru, JP, Tomoyo, and Tommy were scooping snow up from the ground and attempting to knock some cans off of a fence. "Hey guys," Shino greeted them half-heartedly, noticing that Zoe and Kouichi weren't with everyone else and were probably off alone somewhere, doing things…
Shino pushed this thought to the back of his mind and JP said, "Hey there, Shino. Want to try hitting these cans off this fence?"
"We've been trying for ten minutes with no success," Tomoyo added angrily, chucking another snowball at the cans. However, it whooshed right past its intended target. "Damn it all to hell!"
"Language, Tomoyo!" JP cautioned, glancing at Tommy.
"You guys really don't need to shelter me anymore, you know," Tommy muttered, carefully aiming his snowball before throwing it at a particular can. The others watched hopefully as it just missed a can. "Aww…"
"I suppose I could try," Shino said, scraping some snow off the ground and forming it into a ball. "By the way, how'd that alien hunt go, Dai?"
"Oh, they're biding their time now," Dai muttered, looking disappointed. "They probably know that I figured them out thanks to your help."
Hotaru turned to Shino, giving him a "why the hell did you convince Dai that there were aliens trying to abduct him and subject me to his crazy ranting all morning" look.
Shino smiled sheepishly, turning back to the fence. His eyes narrowed as he stared at one particular can perched precariously upon the fence. He carefully aimed his snowball and threw it straight at the can…and it just missed.
"Aw…" The others deflated, disappointed by Shino's lack of skill.
"Lack of skill?" Shino said, glaring at me. (Heh heh…heh.)
"I swear those cans must be glued to that fence!" Tomoyo cried with frustration. "I even hit one of the damn things once, and it didn't budge!"
"Maybe we really just suck like that," Shino muttered, sighing.
JP was about to ask what had gotten Shino so gloomy when he heard the sound of an aluminum can hitting pavement. Everyone turned and watched just as Hotaru chucked a snowball at another can, also quickly knocking this one to the ground.
"Y-y-you j-just…" Tomoyo stuttered, feeling at a loss for words.
"What?" Hotaru asked, wondering why the others were giving him such incredulous looks.
After a moment of silence, Tommy said, "Hotaru, are you Batman?"
Hotaru cocked his head. "Not that I know of…"
"Hotaru's just skilled like that!" Dai explained. "But if he's Batman, I call dibs on Robin as long as it's the Robin from Teen Titans!"
"Oh, not that guy! He's a pussy!" Tomoyo exclaimed.
"How is he a pussy?" Dai asked, giving Tomoyo a questioning glare.
"Don't get me started…" While Tomoyo got into an argument with Dai, Shino took the opportunity to slip away unseen before the much-too-perceptive JP questioned him on his melancholy behavior. However, his plan failed.
"Not so fast," JP said, grabbing Shino by the collar. Shino struggled for a moment, but couldn't break from his friend's grip.
"Why'd you follow me?" Shino finally asked, giving up.
"Because it seems that you need my special brand of psychiatric assistance," JP replied, dragging Shino over to a vacant bench and shoving him onto it. "By the way, I expect some pay in advance."
"JP, you aren't a real psychiatrist," Shino said flatly.
"But I PORTRAYED a real psychiatrist in Digital Clue," JP retorted smugly.
"First of all, I wasn't even in that," Shino pointed out. "Second, didn't the psychiatrist from Clue lose his license?"
"Hey…shut up!" JP replied in a falsely cheery tone. "Now, unless you want to have a mental breakdown at the age of thirteen, I suggest you sit down, pay up, and take my advice to heart."
Shino assessed his chances of escape in his head, but they didn't look too good, especially if JP got Tomoyo after him. Sighing, he dug into his pocket and took out a small amount of yen (I'm not converting that crap, I suck at math…).
"Thank you," JP said, grabbing Shino's money and stuffing it into his own pocket. "Ah, there's nothing like the feeling of receiving some good, hard-earned cash."
"It's not earned yet," Shino reminded JP, glaring at him.
"Alright, alright," JP muttered apologetically, taking a seat next to Shino. "Well, we've already gotten past the first stage of therapy: admitting you have a problem. The rest is just diagnosing what the problem is."
"Technically, I didn't admit the problem…" Shino began.
"Okay, let's pinpoint your fear," JP said, ignoring Shino. "Do you think you have hypengyophobia?"
"What?" Shino asked, unfamiliar with JP's terminology.
"It's a fear of responsibility," JP explained patiently in a very doctorly manner.
"Uh, I don't think so," Shino replied.
"What about ailurophobia?" JP continued. "That's a fear of cats."
"I like cats," Shino said, shrugging.
"Well, I already diagnosed Chief with climacophobia, the fear of stairs," JP muttered to himself. (Kouichi: …You guys suck.) "Maybe you have a fear of oceans, thalassophobia, or a fear of crossing bridges, gephyrophobia."
"No and no," Shino replied, beginning to wonder how JP knew all these technical names for phobias.
"I've got it!" JP suddenly exclaimed, jumping up and pointing at Shino. "You, my friend, have pantophobia!"
"I'm probably going to regret asking this, but what in the hell is pantophobia?" Shino asked warily.
"A fear of everything!" JP replied.
Shino stared at JP for a moment before saying, "JP, give me my money back."
"Hey, it's not my fault you're not willing to open up," JP said, sitting back down. "Since my doctor charade doesn't seem to be working, why don't we try just having a friend-to-friend conversation. I promise I won't laugh about whatever's bothering you."
Shino sighed heavily. "Alright, but fair warning, I'm not entirely sure why I feel this way. My problem is Christmas. I guess I just don't really understand it, what with all the commercialism getting in the way."
JP nodded sagely. "I think I know just what you need." With that, he whipped out his cell phone and began dialing a number.
"Wait, who are you calling?" Shino asked worriedly.
"Oh, let's just say I'm dialing in the 'Compassion Hotline,'" JP explained mysteriously, waiting for the other line to pick up. After a moment, JP said, "Hey, Zoe."
"JP, what are you doing?!" Shino exclaimed, grabbing at JP's phone. JP, however, was able to hold him back with one of his hands as he continued his conversation.
"I think Shino needs a little Christmas spirit boosting," JP said, smiling slowly. "Think we should give him the same treatment as Kouji? Alright, sounds good! See you later."
JP snapped his phone shut, smirking at Shino's guarded expression. "Why did you call Zoe and what did you do to Kouji?" Shino asked warily.
"Calm down, it's nothing that bad," JP reassured Shino quickly. "You see, there's this joint Christmas Nativity play that mine and Zoe's schools are performing together, and we thought that both you and Kouji would be able to cheer up a little if you were to participate in the play! If you refuse we'll just force you, so don't even think about it!"
Shino cocked his head. "Uh, am I allowed to be in your play? I don't go to your school."
"We'll just sneak you in. They'll never notice," JP replied, shrugging. "So, what do you say?"
"Well, I guess that's not so bad, though I could imagine you probably had to force Kouji into it," Shino muttered, pondering. "Alright, I'll be in your play, although you weren't really giving me a choice."
"Sounds good!" JP said, getting up. "Be at the back entrance to the school around six, okay?"
"Okay," Shino replied, watching JP walk away. Then he sighed. "What did I just get myself into?"
—
As Shino approached his house a bit later on, he once again heard a commotion in his backyard. He quickly rushed around the house, wondering if Digimon even knew the meaning of subtle.
When he got to his backyard, his eyes widened in astonishment. Gotsumon and Dragramon were stringing a leafy garland around the length of the doghouse, while Witchmon and Gatomon sat on the snowy ground, busy untangling a string of Christmas lights. Wizardmon merely observed them, though his usual pointy wizard's hat was replaced by a Santa hat.
"What the hell?!" Shino exclaimed, staring at the Digimon in shock. "I told you not to let people see you!"
"Technically, you said not to let your parents see us," Witchmon corrected.
"That goes for everyone else too!" Shino cried exasperatedly.
"Well you should've been more specific!" Witchmon retorted.
Shino sighed, realizing that this was getting him nowhere. "Alright, forget it. But what are you guys doing?"
"Well, I was just strutting around town…" Dragramon began.
"What?!" Shino exclaimed, beginning to panic again. "Did anyone see you?!"
"Shino, how stupid do you think I am?" Dragramon said, slightly insulted. "I was in disguise as a reindeer!" She held up a pair of fake reindeer antlers, looking proud of herself.
Shino's eye twitched as Dragramon continued, "Anyway, while I was walking around, I saw this sign on a telephone pole!"
Shino grabbed the poster she held up, quickly reading it. "You guys are trying to win a Christmas lights and display contest?" Shino asked in disbelief.
"For the mystery prize!" Witchmon added, pointing out the writing at the bottom of the poster.
"Guys, I don't think the prize will be all that stupendous," Shino explained calmly. "Besides, they probably won't judge a doghouse in someone's backyard."
"Speaking of which, why do you have a doghouse when you don't have a dog?" Gotsumon asked Shino curiously.
"We had a dog," Shino replied, eyes narrowing. "Then there was the accident…"
The Digimon all gave Shino wary looks. "Anyway," Shino continued, getting back to business, "can you guys please just take this stuff down?"
"No!" they responded at once, going back to their decorating.
Realizing that convincing them of anything was hopeless, Shino turned his attention to Wizardmon. "Uh, why are you wearing a Santa hat?" he asked, smirking slightly.
"I was forced into it," Wizardmon growled, glancing at Gatomon. "She begged me to wear it."
"Guilty as charged!" Gatomon said, smiling.
"Why didn't you just tell her no?" Shino asked curiously.
"You have a younger sister; you should understand," Wizardmon replied simply.
"True," Shino agreed, making his way toward the house to get ready for the play.
However, Nanami suddenly popped up in front of his bedroom door, pen and paper in hand. "Hey, niichan! Want to help me write a letter to Santa?"
"Can't you write it on your own?" Shino said, biting back the more sarcastic response he'd formed in his mind.
"I could, but you have better handwriting than me," Nanami said, giving Shino a pleading look. "Please?"
I know exactly what you mean, Wizardmon, he thought, sighing. "Fine," he agreed, taking the paper and pen and sitting down at his desk.
"Alright," Nanami said, beginning her dictation. "'Dear Santa. How have you been? How is your wife? I hope you're both in good health!'"
I never thought I'd say this, but good grief, Shino thought, rolling his eyes.
"'I've been a very good girl this year,'" Nanami continued. "'So, I was thinking, instead of the usual toys and such, maybe you could just send me cash! Oh, and a lust charm for a certain someone wouldn't hurt, either!'"
Shino set down the pen in frustration. "I can't believe it! My own sister's gone commercial! And what's worse, her unrequited love is turning her into an imitation of Tomoyo!"
Nanami watched, wide-eyed, as Shino stormed from the room. "Why is my brother such a basket-case?" she muttered to herself, sighing.
—
Later on, the gang was on the auditorium's stage at their school, dancing to Hotaru's masterful piano playing!
Hotaru rolled his eyes at me, continuing to play a certain familiar tune that rhymes with PEANUTS THEME. (If someone out there still doesn't know what Taru's playing, then wow.)
"Alright guys, settle down!" Zoe yelled, stopping the music and dancing. "Shino should be here any minute, and then we'll explain the situation to him."
"Or we could just go home and call it a night," Kouji suggested hopefully.
"You're not getting out of this that easily," Zoe said, giving Kouji a stern look.
"It was worth a shot," Kouji muttered, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
A moment later, Shino entered through the back door leading onto the stage, causing everyone else to turn and stare at him. "There you are, Shino!" Zoe exclaimed happily, running up to Shino with a big smile on her face. "We sort of need your help here."
Pushing back the blush he could feel creeping across his cheeks, Shino glanced around the stage and quickly realized that only his friends, two people he didn't recognize, and his Digimon houseguests were there…wait, Digimon? "What are you guys doing now?!" Shino cried with exasperation.
"We finished decorating so we came to see your play," Gatomon explained meekly, hiding behind Kouichi's leg. "It was Witchmon's idea!"
"No, it was Dragra's!" Witchmon accused, pointing at Dragramon.
Before Dragramon could give an insulted reply, Zoe yelled, "It doesn't matter whose fault it is, because you all ended up scaring almost everyone involved with this play away!"
All the Digimon, even Wizardmon, glanced guiltily at their feet (or paws in some cases). "Wait, you mean that we're all that's left to put on this play?" Shino asked slowly. "No teachers or anything?"
"Adults aren't allowed to be shown in Peanuts anyway, so nope," Takuya replied.
"Luckily, though, two kids from the drama department did stay," Zoe explained, pointing out the two people Shino hadn't recognized. "The boy is Student #1, and the girl is Student #2."
"We have names, you know," Student #1 muttered.
"Shut up, Student #1," JP said. "Even your name indicates that you're not important."
"But my name isn't Student #1!" Student #1 protested.
"As long as I'm still playing Mary, I don't care what you call me," Student #2 said, reapplying her make-up. (Yes, she's THAT kind of girl.)
"Okay, let's get on with it," Zoe continued, turning back to Shino. "Since we technically need a non-student advisor to direct the play, we picked you to direct. Congratulations!"
"But I am a student," Shino pointed out.
"Yeah, but not from either of our schools," Kira said, smiling deviously.
Shino sighed. "Guys, I don't know the first thing about directing a Christmas play."
"Does it look like the rest of us do?" Zoe retorted. "C'mon, you said you'd help out. Please?"
Knowing he couldn't refuse Zoe when she started pleading him, Shino agreed. "Alright, I'll direct the play. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."
"Awesome!" Zoe exclaimed happily, giving Shino a quick hug.
As Shino melted into a momentary happy bliss, Zoe turned to the others and said, "Alright, Hotaru, start up the Christmas music!"
Wordlessly, Hotaru started playing the thing that rhymes with PEANUTS THEME again, and everyone (excluding the obvious exceptions) began to dance again.
"Um, guys?" Shino said, trying to get everyone's attention. The others, however, completely ignored him. Frowning, Shino yelled, "Hotaru, stop playing!"
Hotaru instantly stopped playing, but it took another moment for the others to halt their dancing. "What's up, Shino?" JP asked, confused.
"Um, shouldn't we be rehearsing for the play?" Shino pointed out gently, feeling a bit uncomfortable with his new leadership role. "As far as I know, there aren't any dancing people in Nativity plays."
"Here, just get them occupied by handing out these costumes and scripts I found," Zoe said, giving these items to Shino.
Shino nodded, glancing through the character list on the scripts. Then he approached Tomoyo and JP. "Alright, I think you two would make a good innkeeper and innkeeper's wife," he said, handing them costumes and scripts. Then he noticed something about JP's appearance and asked, "JP, why are you covered in dirt?"
"I fell on the way here," JP replied flatly, shrugging on the plain brown robe that was his costume. Strangely, the dirt seemed to seep through the seams of the robe, and soon he looked just as dirty as he had a moment before. "What the hell?" he exclaimed.
Tomoyo stepped back as a cloud of dirt started to appear around JP. "The dirt's uncurling my naturally curly hair!" she complained. "Can we get a hose over here?"
"I'll handle this," Kira said determinedly, D-Tector in hand. "Fair warning JP, this might sting a little, but you already know about that."
JP stared wide-eyed at Kira. "Madjack, I hate you."
While Kira handled that situation, Shino moved on to Takuya, Kouji, and Student #1. "Okay, you guys can be the three wise men."
"I thought the wise men showed up a while after Jesus was born," Kouji said skeptically.
"See Kouji, you make a great wise man," Takuya said, smirking.
"Yes, the real question is why are you picking Takuya as a wise man?" Kouji asked Shino.
"Hey!" Takuya cried defensively.
Shino just shrugged. "Because."
As Takuya fumed about being called dumb and Student #1 fumed about being called Student #1, Shino handed Kouichi a script and costume, saying, "Alright Kouichi, you'll be the narrator."
"What?" Kouichi exclaimed, looking shocked.
"You're not gonna complain too, are you?" Shino asked in disbelief. "You're the agreeable one!"
"Well, you see, I…well I kind of…let's just say I don't perform well in front of crowds," Kouichi explained sheepishly.
"If you have stage fright, then why'd you agree to be in this play?" Shino asked.
"Same reason as you," Kouichi replied, glancing at Zoe.
Shino sighed heavily. "We really are whipped, aren't we?"
"Pretty much," Kouichi said, glancing over the script. "Anyway, since I'm here, I'll help you out and be the narrator. Just don't be surprised if I have a panic attack or puke or something."
"I'm glad you have confidence in yourself," Shino muttered, walking toward the Digimon. "Okay guys, since you chased everyone else away, you get to play the animals in the play as punishment."
"Animals?!" they exclaimed, insulted by the idea of it.
"Hey, it's your fault since you didn't listen to me and let yourselves be seen," Shino said firmly. "The world is not yet ready for Puff the Magic Dragon, a witch and a wizard, a talking cat, and a Graveler-wannabe."
"I am not a Graveler-wannabe!" Gotsumon shouted angrily. "I don't Digivolve into a turtle, anyway!"
"Fair enough," Shino replied, handing the Digimon some costumes. "Gatomon might be able to pass as a regular cat from a distance, but the rest of you need to dress in these, then just sit and pretend to graze throughout the play."
"Fine," they eventually agreed grudgingly.
"You're quite the commander and chief, comrade," Wizardmon muttered, smirking.
"Uh-huh," Shino muttered, ignoring Wizardmon's comment as he finally came to Dai. "Alright Dai, do you think you can make noises similar to a baby crying?"
"I sure can, thanks to my shrill girly voice!" Dai replied, smiling broadly.
"Sounds good," Shino said, smirking as he took his place at the front of the stage. "Okay," he said, getting everyone's attention. Or more accurately, trying to get everyone's attention, because they'd started to dance to Hotaru's piano playing again.
Eye twitching, Shino stomped over to Hotaru, attempting to grab his arm to stop his playing. However, out of habit, Hotaru sensed someone trying to seize him and immediately struck out with his fist, hitting Shino square in the eye. Shino fell backwards, knocked silly by the surprise attack, while Hotaru's eyes widened in horror.
-
We'll be right back after these commercial messages…okay, we don't actually have any commercial messages…oh look, Shino regained consciousness! Back to the story!
-
"I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry, Shino," Hotaru apologized for about the millionth time.
"It's fine, Hotaru, it was just a reflex," Shino said reassuringly, ignoring his throbbing black eye. "Okay, back to what I was saying before…"
"Lunch break!" Witchmon suddenly exclaimed, producing a picnic basket from under her cloak.
"What the hell, Witchmon?!" Shino cried, frustrated. "It's eight pm!"
"I didn't have lunch," Witchmon said, munching on some Doritos. "Besides, I want to partake in this delicious stuff you call junk food before we have to go back to the Digital World!"
"I second that!" Dragramon agreed merrily, searching through the contents of Witchmon's basket.
"Alright, just forget them," Shino muttered, tired of dealing with their antics. "Anyway, we…"
"Hit it, Taru-kun!" Kira suddenly exclaimed, starting another bout of dancing.
Shino stared wide-eyed at the frivolity of the others. "This, my friend, is why we aren't in the drama club," Kouji said to Shino. "Can we just go home now?"
Getting his resolve back, Shino shouted, "Guys, can we please try to concentrate on the play and stop goofing around! This is exactly why I hate Christmas! No one takes it seriously anymore! It's just a big commercial deal!"
The others stared warily at the furious-looking Shino until Zoe said, "Hey, I know what we can do to get us in the right mood! All we need is a little Christmas tree!"
Shino glanced at Zoe, smiling slowly. "That's a great idea, Zoe. Alright, I'll go out to the tree yard and bring back a tree."
"I'll go with you," Kouichi said, walking out the door behind Shino. "Being here just makes me worry about having to talk in front of everyone."
—
A few minutes later, Shino and Kouichi were wandering through a Christmas tree lot, looking for a decent tree. However, the only "trees" they found were aluminum, not at all what Shino was looking for.
Shino sighed, leaning against a particularly shiny aluminum tree. "How'd it come to this, Chief? This holiday has come down to nothing but commercialism."
"It's tragic, but it happens," Kouichi replied, shrugging. "Think we should just head back?"
Shino was about to reply when something green caught his eye. Not a shiny, flashy green, but an earthy green.
He quickly rushed over to the object and found a tiny pine tree that looking very scrawny. Mounds of pine needles surrounded it, explaining its shabby appearance.
Shino's eyes lit up, while Kouichi frowned slightly. "It looks kind of…dead," he said skeptically.
"It's perfect," Shino muttered. "It's the only thing in this lot resembling anything having to do with Christmas."
Shino gingerly picked the tree up, causing more needles to fall from it. Then he carried it carefully over to the lot owner in order to pay. Kouichi followed him, sighing. "This won't end well."
—
Meanwhile, Hotaru was practicing some Beethoven on the piano with Kira standing behind him and observing. No one else was willing to do this after the incident that had occurred with Shino.
"It's pretty crazy that the same rogue power and strength of the Firefly can be refined into playing the piano," Kira commented, staring wonderingly at his hands.
Hotaru nodded tersely, not wanting to snap at Kira for mentioning the Firefly even though it slightly bothered him.
After another moment, Kira said, "Hey, can you play Jingle Bells?"
Hotaru stopped, eyes narrowing. Then, wordlessly, he played Jingle Bells with one finger.
Kira waited until he was done, then said sheepishly, "I guess that's a beginner song, huh?"
"We come bearing a tree!" Shino suddenly called, walking onto the stage with Kouichi in tow. Everyone crowded around the two as Shino sat the puny tree on top of the piano, and then backed up so everyone could see it.
At first, no one said anything. Then Takuya said, "Um, is this tree suffering from some sort of tree cancer and its Christmas wish was to be the centerpiece in a Nativity scene play?"
"No, it's just a tree," Shino replied.
"No offense, Shino, but your tree…kind of sucks," JP said.
"It doesn't suck!" Shino cried, insulted. "The rest of you don't think it sucks, do you?"
His friends all glanced at their feet, unwilling to tell him what they thought. Students #1 and #2, however, were.
"Ew, that scrawny thing is a tree?" Student #2 said condescendingly, scoffing at it. "I'm leaving if that's going to be the centerpiece."
"I've gotta agree with Student #2 over here," Student #1 muttered his agreement, finally accepting the fact that I'm not giving them names.
When no one else denied Student #2's words, Shino eyes widened. "A real live pine tree can't even satisfy you…hell, I don't even know what Christmas is about anymore!"
"Alright, I guess I don't have a choice," Kouichi suddenly grumbled, stepping out of his group of friends and heading toward the front of the stage. "You owe me for this, Madjack," he muttered just as a spotlight illuminated him. "Okay here goes.
"'And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. and suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"
After his long recitation, Kouichi turned to the others and said, "That is what Christmas is about. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go throw up somewhere." Then he staggered off stage, looking sick despite the fact that there had been no one in the audience.
Shino slowly smiled, warmed by Kouichi's speech. He felt better than he had all day. This had indeed been the perfect treatment for his problem. Thanks to the magic of Crispin Freeman's voice!
"Shut the hell up, Madjack," Kouichi growled, crouched over a trash can in the corner.
So, without another word, Shino picked up his tree and carried it away, still smiling.
The others watched his departure and then, as one, silently followed him, Zoe and Kouji dragging Kouichi along with them.
After several minutes of walking, Shino made it back to his house and placed his tiny tree in the backyard. Glancing over at the fully decorated doghouse he saw, much to his surprise, a big blue ribbon attached to one of the garlands.
"I can't believe it," he muttered, walking over to the doghouse. "They actually won." He glanced back at his little tree, then at the decorations adorning the doghouse. This gave him an idea. "I'll prove that this tree is worth something."
Then he took a small ornament off the doghouse and placed it on the topmost branch of his tree. However, under the weight of the ornament, the tree bent sideways, nearly snapping in two.
Shino stared at the tree in disbelief. "I'm the Warrior of freakin' Wood, and I just killed my tree…I fail at life."
Then Shino turned around, head hanging, and walked into his house, slamming the door behind him.
A moment later, the others approached the little tree, encircling it. "Is it really dead?" Takuya asked, while Kira poked it cautiously.
Kouji knelt down and carefully held the little tree up with his hand. "Guys, quick! Balance it out with some more ornaments!"
The others did as he said, placing ornament after ornament on the little tree until it could stand up on its own. They were a bit surprised to find that it looked kind of nice all fixed up.
Then Student #1 cried, "Hey person whose name I can't remember, you can stop being emo now, your tree's fixed!"
Shino slowly poked his head out his back door, confused by his friends' presence. Then he noticed his tree and how nice and non-skeletal it looked.
As he approached the tree, the others shouted, "Merry Christmas, Shino!"
"Holy crap!" he cried, jumping back. "What the hell did you suddenly yell that for?!"
"Seemed like the thing to do," JP said, shrugging.
"So Shino, did we fix your problem?" Zoe asked worriedly.
Shino stared at her for a moment, then smiled. "Yeah, I think you did." And from that moment on, Shino never had another melancholy Christmas. Well, except for that time he accidentally walked in on Zoe and Kouichi making out…
"Hey!" Shino, Zoe and Kouichi yelled in unison.
"So, where exactly do we pick up our prize?" Dragramon asked.
—
madjack89: The end!
Kouji: Wow, you just made it before Christmas.
JP: Slacker.
madjack89: …So Shino, what did you learn today?
Shino: I learned that I should never sneak up on Hotaru.
Hotaru: I'm still sorry…
madjack89: And?
Shino: And…I shouldn't let commercialism get in the way of Christmas for me?
madjack89: Good answer!
Duskmon: I learned that when Nina and I get Kouichi on our side, the first thing we're gonna do is kill Ilsemon.
Kouichi: Uh, I'm already trying to do that.
Duskmon: Well you'll actually be able to do it because you won't suck anymore.
Kouichi: …I really hate you.
Duskmon: The feeling is mutual.
Zoe: Now boys, let's not fight on Christmas.
Duskmon: I don't have to listen to you! I'm not whipped like the rest of these pansies!
Zoe: …Nina.
Duskmon: …After we kill Ilsemon, we're coming after you.
madjack89: Okay, I think it's time to end the special. Hope you enjoyed it, and have a merry Christmas!
Dai: And have a very happy Hanukkah and Kwanza!
Tommy: Don't forget Winter Solstice!
Takuya: And whatever's going on with the Buddhists right now!
Kira: And…
Kouji: Happy holidays, happy New Year, blah blah blah, goodbye.