Chapter Three – The Loneliness
The library was always quiet, and no matter how clean it was, it always reminded Jessie of that faint smell of dust and oldness – rows and rows of musty old books lining the walls right up to the high ceilings.
This afternoon, the Library smelled like beeswax and lemon, which was what Miss Grey was using to clean the tables and chairs with while Jessie was supposed to be focusing on completing her maths problems on the workbook in front of her.
Jessie tried to focus on the sums, she wasn't sure what twenty add thirteen was. She'd only learned to count up to twenty and was still having difficulty with that.
"Jessie...you're not doing your work," noted Miss Grey sternly.
Sighing, Jessie pushed her pencil down into the workbook and wrote a number, she didn't even care if it was wrong anymore. She glanced over to the back shelves where she'd first met Mr. LeBeau...first spoken to him face to face. He'd chosen her a book from another shelf when she'd picked up a different one. She knew the title to be 'The Hobbit' but she'd never been able to read it due to the small and difficult to read words. It had pictures within that she had gone over plenty of times while in her room – the book was still there, next to her bed.
"Jessie."
Jessie put her pencil down, "I can't do this."
"Yes you can, just think. We've already gone over this," said Miss Grey, she put down her cloth and she came over to sit beside Jessie – she glanced at the book and her face was grim. "Hmm...I don't think twenty-two is the answer to twenty add thirteen, is it?"
"I dunno..." Jessie pouted.
"Okay, how many is ten?" Jean asked.
Jessie held up both hands to reveal all her tiny fingers.
"Okay. And twenty?"
She raised her hands again, this time, twice.
"Alright...well...how many would you have if you added ten to twenty?"
Jessie raised her hand a third time, she thought about it. "Thirty," she finally responded.
"And three?"
"Thirty three?"
"Good girl," Miss Grey smirked and got up.
"I hate math."
"Many of us do," said Miss Grey with a gentle sigh, "But you need to know how to count when you're older."
"So I can count money and stuff?"
"Yes, now do your work."
Jessie thought of counting money. "Does Mr. LeBeau really have millions of dollars?"
Miss Grey gave a laugh, "Whatever made you think that he does?"
"The older kids said so," Jessie replied.
"I don't know how much money Mr. LeBeau has," said Miss Grey honestly, "but I don't think it's millions of dollars."
"But it's a lot, right?"
"I..."
"Because everyone says that this bracelet cost a lot of money," Jessie held up her wrist where her platinum bracelet glittered in the overhead lights.
"Well, maybe he did spend a lot. But I don't think he spent a million dollars," Miss Grey grinned at her, "now do your math--"
"The kids say bad things about him," Jessie admitted.
Miss Grey stopped, "about who? Remy?"
"Yeah."
"Like?"
"That he's a thief."
"I..."
"Did he steal this?" Jessie asked suddenly, gesturing to her bracelet.
"No, he didn't."
Jessie looked down at the bracelet, "But how do you know?"
"Rogue was with him when he bought it – she told me so," Miss Grey assured. "Now please do your work and let me get back to what I need to do."
Giving in, Jessie tried her best to complete her school work; doing math reminded her of sitting in a class room on her own at the orphanage doing math, when the teachers and even the kids had thought her far too dangerous to be around. Jessie wondered if she would always be in classes on her own, or if eventually she would become like the other students, who took classes together and spent time training together.
She felt it strange, somehow, that although she was around more people now than she'd ever been at the Orphanage, that she'd never felt more alone. Perhaps it was just the lack of seeing children her age; even knowing there were some around would be an improvement over being the youngest and certainly the littlest, student at Xavier's.
"Why am I the only little kid here?"
Miss Grey was on her knees, shining up the leg on the table; she paused to look up, a sad expression on her pretty face. "Well...you see..." she sighed, "You...are unique. Most kids don't know they're mutants until they're older than you. But you're special – your powers came extra early."
"There are no other special kids?"
"Of course there are. They're just not...here."
"I wish they were," Jessie said.
"I know it's lonely," said Miss Grey. "I was here when I was young – Scott too. And it isn't easy, I know. There were even less students here then than there are now," she smiled. "The loneliness will go away – I promise."