I Crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because

then the little drops of anguish will all run together,

the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift

into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;

may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.

Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far

I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,

Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

Pablo Neruda

Chapter 13

The Date

Put All You're Shit On The Table!

As I ate we talked about school, Charlie, Renee, school friends and basically things of no consequence. As he set the most decadent looking chocolate raspberry cheesecake in front of me I already felt so full but everything was so good there was no way I was passing on the dessert! As I took my first bite Edward asked, "So, are you excited about Dartmouth?" Here we go, I chewed my cheesecake slowly swallowing and took a sip of champagne which I just discovered tonight I LOVE, and than answered, "Yeah, I am really excited, although I guess there are some details we need to work out right?" His brows furrowed "What kind of details?" he asked tentatively. I took another sip and started "Well, I guess we need to talk about our living situation? I mean are we going to live in the dorms? I mean that would work for me but I don't really see that working well for you! We could get an apartment, on campus, off campus, are we going to live to apart, are we going to live together. . . ." I was rambling and I sounded like an idiot but he hadn't said anything yet and it made me feel like more of an idiot.

"Would you have any objections to living with me Bella?" I felt warmth starting slowly at my lower black, I tried breathing deeply in an effort to slow the blush that was coming on. "Well, I don't think so except that I would want to contribute and I know you would give me a really hard time about that!"

He smiled "Bella when did you change your shampoo?" Is this a trick? I don't get it, what the hell is he doing? "Umm, after you left I guess, why?" He chuckled softly, "Bella, that ridiculous strawberry shampoo was one of the most familiar smells in my world aside from your blood and your breath. It was one of the first things I noticed when I came back, the strawberry smell was gone, your hair smells like peppermint now. I had never had a full thought in regards to the smell of peppermint ever and suddenly I found myself buying peppermint gum, peppermint patties and car fresheners that smell like peppermint. This is of course ridiculous because as you know, I don't eat but, it is the single sexiest smell in the world!" Bella, he is trying to distract you, don't fall for it Bella, be strong! Fuck!!!!!!! Fuck fuck fuck!!!!!

"Ummm yeah, just curious is there a reason you bring this up now?"

"The reason I bring this up now Bella, is that the only thing I want to do right now is wrap that ponytail around my fist and use it to pull your head back so I can kiss every inch of your neck! I realize that we have to have a conversation first before that hair is spilling all over me suffocating me with that peppermint scent so in an effort to get where I want to be faster I am just going to put all my shit out on the table and I hope you will do the same so we can move on!" Gulp, "Ok".

"Bella when I came back you said that I didn't respect you, I was appalled at you for believing that! But when I thought about everything you said and I realized you were right, I felt a deeper shame than I ever thought possible. You have grown to be a woman right before my eyes, and in watching you do so, I have realized what it is to truly be a man! I want to protect you, provide for you, support you, challenge you, agree with you, disagree with you and love you for as long as you will have me and I want you to do all of those things for me! I want to give you everything you want but sometimes we will have to compromise, sometimes I will disagree with you and I can't be afraid of losing you every time that happens! I have more gifts for you."

"Wow Edward, you are really all over the place tonight, is now really the appropriate time for gifts?"

"It is the perfect time for gifts Bella"

He took an envelope out of the inside pocket of his jacket and placed it on the table sliding it over to me. I picked it up and opened it there was a lot of typing, it was some kind of legal document. I started to pay closer attention and suddenly I understood, the pages fell through my fingers onto the table and my eyes flew wide open as understanding set in, "You bought me a house," I whispered, "No Bella, I bought us a house, on the outskirts of Hanover, a place for us to live while we attend school and before you lose your mind I want to tell you why please?" I nodded numbly.

"Bella, I bought us a house because I can! I have accumulated an incredible amount of wealth throughout my existence and now I have the opportunity to make the life of the woman I love a little easier because of that wealth! But please understand, if I were a man of lesser means I would utilize whatever I had available to me in order to accomplish that same objective. I would do this because I do not think you should have to work and go to school at the same time. I don't think anyone should have to! College is difficult enough as it is without having to worry about how you are going to pay rent and bills! If all I could afford was a studio apartment that is where we would be but I would take that upon myself so that you could focus on your studies, because I love you Bella!

I thought over what he said and considered it in the reverse, what if I was the one with all of the money and Edward would not allow me to help, I would be hurt and angry. I could feel myself maturing minute my minute and it was kind of pissing me off.

"Ok" I said.

"Ok?"

"Ok Edward, I want to live with you in Hanover and I want to do so in our house. I accept your gift!"

He looked at me like he was confused, "That's it, its just that easy?" "We'll see," I smiled, "Any other shit you want to put on the table?" He thought about it for a moment, "I would love to buy you a car?" He sounded so unsure of himself it was adorable.

"Ok" I answered. His brow shot up in surprise, "Really?" he asked.

"Yup, I'm not going to be able to take my truck and I am going to need a car so based on your previous argument I am going to allow you to make things easier for me. I accept your offer to buy me a car, please try to keep it under control!"

"Thank you Bella, this means so much to me!" I sighed regretting how difficult I had made things for him in the past that HE would feel gratitude about buying me a house and a car. "Edward, thank you, I mean thank you so much!" I was touched to my core by his generosity.

"So, anything you want to put on the table Bella? I rolled my eyes at him, "Excuse me what was that?" I asked. "Oh I'm sorry is there any shit you need to bring to the table Bella?" I laughed softly, "Yes Edward I have some shit to bring to the table!" He gestured with his hand towards the table as if I should proceed.

"Well, we already covered living arrangements which for me also covers commitment and relationship so that leaves only one thing, "SEX!" I almost laughed at the way his eyebrows shot up in surprise and his eyes turned into huge saucers. Now it was his turn, "Uhhh ok, what about it?"

I took a deep breath and begged my blush to stay under control but as usual my heartbeat accelerated giving me away. "Bella are you ok?" Edward looked at me worried and impatient. "I am better than ok Edward, I am an 18 year old teenage girl. My hormones are raging and any minute now they are going to explode all over you!"

"Ok," Edward said tentatively, "I am wondering why you brought this to the negotiation table?" Well Edward, I am brining this to the negotiation table because you have some strong views on safety that are at odds with what I want, additionally there are things I want to do that will conflict directly with your old fashioned values."

"I am intrigued, please continue what is it that I will believe to be unsafe?" Edward had a smug amused look on his face that I wanted to smack off, or kiss off, whatever!

"Iwantyoutotasteme!" I blurted out feeling the color stain my cheeks; I sat motionless except for the lip biting waiting for his response. The amusement immediately left his face and a dozen emotions crossed his face in an instant, lust, fear, anger, excitement, sadness and many others, which passed so quickly I could not identify them. He slowly shook his head as if he was trying to shake my words out of existence but when he looked up I saw resolve. "Bella, there is nothing I want more than to pleasure and satisfy you so we will try but if I feel that it is to much, I will stop and provide a different type of pleasure, is that a satisfactory plan?" I smiled at his formal words.

"And the other thing?" he asked.

This time I was not embarrassed, "I want to taste you too," I answered quietly.

"Bella, I am sorry but ladies just don't do that!" He was exasperated; I had to turn this around quick. "Edward," I said softly leaning forward tracing patterns lightly on the back of his hand, "That night in your room, I have never been so turned on as when I was touching you, watching your face and your reactions to me made me feel sexy, it was satisfying! His expression was still hesitant but I could see that he would not by denying me.

"Anything left to negotiate?" he asked. "Other than actual sex?" I answered, Edward laughed softly, it was so sexy, "You wont need to badger me about that anymore Bella!" he stated plainly. "Well, there are other things left to discuss," I answered, "But not tonight!" The issue of my mortality would have to wait, be both compromised enough for one night. "Excellent!" he murmured rising from his seat and removing his jacket, I watched his face as he unbuttoned his shirt slowly dropping it the chair he had been sitting it on top of the jacket. His eyes were dark and held mine as he came around the table, he leaned over me hands on the armrests dragging his nose from my ear to my chin and back again over and over while whispering my name, "Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella," My breathing quickened and I turned my head catching his lips with mine and traced his lower lip with my tongue shoving my hands into his hair and using it to bring his face closer to mine. I felt his growl from deep in his chest, the next thing I knew I was on my feet pressed up against him pressing kisses onto his chest as he lowered my zipper and my dress fell in a pool at my feet. I stepped backwards out of my dress putting a little distance between him so he could get a good look at the lingerie I had been dying for him to see since he moment I put it on. His face became hard and his jaw clicked as it locked. He raked his eyes over me, is he angry?

"Isabella, are you trying to kill me with this!" he gestured to my outfit. I stayed silent not wanting to distract him. He rubbed his hand along his chin as he continued to study my body his eyes lustful, almost violent with desire, my skin lighting on fire under his gaze, I took 3 steps back feeling slightly dizzy under the intensity his stare. His eyes returned to mine, he seemed pleased with what he was seeing and I tried to imagine what I looked like to him, half naked barely able to catch my breath, eyeing him hungrily, I look like sex. He began stalking towards me again the lion coming after his prey but I put my arm out with my finger pointing at him stopping him in his tracks, "Calm down Edward!" He smiled at me almost a sneer and growled out, "Why?" "Because," I said, "I really like this stuff and I want to keep it, unharmed!" He smiled and continued towards me lazily, and traced his finger across the tops of my breasts and whispered, "I can get you another one!" "Nope, I want this one!" I said firmly. "Fine!" he growled picking me up and walking me over to the sofa where he stood me on the cushions. He went down on one knee in front of the sofa and took my hand kissing each fingertip and than placed my hand on his shoulder than lifted one foot and removed my sandal kissing the top of my foot before putting it down and than lifted my other foot removed the sandal kissing the top of that foot and placed it back on the cushion. He than kissed each of my scarred knees and as he stood the front of each thigh and once he was upright he smirked at me fingering the ribbon, "I think your right about this" his voice was husky with desire and emotion, "This needs to survive unharmed!" he pulled the ribbon out of its bow and 'I shivered in anticipation. He smiled at my response, and pulled the ribbon loose from one loop and then pulled the ribbon loose from the opposite side and kissed the skin underneath. "This is like a beautifully wrapped gift, is it wrong to be thinking of thanking Alice right now?" "No," I said breathily, "I will remind you to thank her!" He proceeded painfully slow pulling the ribbons through the loops and kissing the skin that was uncovered, by the time he got to the last loop at the top and I felt like my knees would give out. The ribbon fell to the sofa the corset landing just a fraction of a second after.

Edward leaned into me his face level to the valley between my breasts and he breathed in deeply and looked up at me, "I want to see all of you Bella," It wasn't a request, he ran his hands down the small of my back and hooked his fingers into the waist of my panties and slid them down my legs. His eyes roamed over my body and back up to my face, "That's new!" "Umm yeah," I answered, "Alice took me to the salon today and decided I needed some uhhhh landscaping." He ran his fingers over my now sparse pubic hair contemplating the new look and than murmured, "I like it!" and than he swept me up into his arms and carried me into one of the bedrooms stopping to adjust the thermostat I assume turning the heat all the way up and than moving further into the bedroom never breaking our gaze.

He set me down gently and stood up studying me as I lay on the bed completely exposed, he seemed to be memorizing every inch of me. Finally I sat up bringing my hands to the waistband of his pants, he grabbed my hands and pushed them aside tsk'ing at me in disapproval, "Tonight is all about you Isabella, your pleasure, your complete and total pleasure is why we are here!" And with that he crawled onto the bed slowly until his face hovered over me. He pressed his lips to mine softly but I was so charged with electricity I moaned loudly and felt him smile against my lips, "That is the most amazing sound in the world Kitten," he murmured against my lips. He shifted his weight so that he was lying on the bed beside me and began the torturous process of covering my neck with feather light kisses and than licking the hallows of my collar bone groaning something almost intelligible about my taste, and than finally licking and teasing my nipples with his fingertips and lips. The warmth in the room was almost suffocating his cool fingers and tongue welcome against my skin and than my breath caught as he traveled lower kissing my stomach, my hips and my thighs. I than felt the absence of his weight on the bed, I lifted my head to find him kneeling at the foot of the bed, he grabbed my legs right above the calves and pulled me closer to him until my ass was right at the end of the bed. I wish above all else I could be a super sexy slinky sex nymph but I am Bella, face red like a tomato and about to faint in anticipation!

I raised myself up on my elbows because I did not want to miss a thing and Edward's beautiful bronze hair descended kissing the insides of my thighs and than my lips, I stifle a groan not wanting any distractions and than I think my heart stopped! I felt his cool tongue start at the bottom of my opening and drag all the way up just short of the spot I wanted him to hit most and I began to pant. "Fuck Bella, do you have any idea how good you taste!" Edward groaned. "Good in a good way or a bad way?" I managed to squeak out. He laughed huskily, "In the most amazing, womanly, sexy as hell, non food way imaginable!" he answered. Then he dove back in licking me up and down like I was an ice cream cone over and over, I was completely out of control gripping his hair to bring him even closer to me suddenly glad he was a vampire because if he were human that would have hurt him like hell. He was driving me to the brink of insanity, "Edward please," I whimpered, "I need more!" and I felt his cool fingers enter me as he continued to lap at me. My hips began to move in time with his fingers moving in and out of me and than I felt a third finger, "Edward," I whispered, "I am so close!" He increased the speed of his fingers moving in and out of me and than enveloped my clit between his lips licking and sucking, my entire body froze, back arched, fingers tangled in his hair, legs wrapped around his neck and than an earthquake erupted through my body starting in the core of my stomach and working its way out until I was writhing, hips bucking against his mouth as he continued his assault on my senses taking me higher and higher, "Edward, Edward, Edward," was I whispering or screaming I could not tell and than a new sensation his tongue flat against my clit as he shook his head back and forth and that was it, I began convulsing, the pleasure so intense it bordered on painful, I was screaming his name begging for him to continue, I was wanton and uncontrollable.

His movements began to slow and I started to panic, "No, Edward please not yet, don't stop!" I could hear his sexy chuckle and suddenly his face hovered over mine, "Oh I am not done with you yet Kitten" he answered, his eyes mischievous and cunning and than he was gone, I propped myself up on my elbows, he was at the foot of the bed, his perfect muscled back to me, I wanted to trace the lines of his shoulders with my tongue but I was enjoying him being in charge of this operation so I stayed put watching him slide his pants down and kick them aside. He turned to face me and all my thoughts went blank for a moment, he is so beautiful! His bare chest muscled, biceps flexed in anticipation, his wide shoulders yoked to a perfect V at his waist. His abs leading beautifully to his muscled stomach that I have ogled so many times in his low slung jeans trying to imagine where the soft hair lead only now I did not have to try and imagine, he stood there in front of me completely aroused and unashamed. "Edward," I whispered and in the tiniest fraction of a second I was sitting in his lap, straddling him, his erection pressed in between us. He crushed his lips to mine with more force than he had ever allowed and I gasped with pleasure, I moved my lips to his ear licking his earlobe and whispered, "It's time Edward".

I felt his body stiffen the tiniest bit and he pulled back to look at me, "Are you sure?" he asked with a slightly worried look. I cradled his face in my hands and kissed him tenderly, "Yes Edward, I am sure!" He deepened our kiss and I moaned pressing my myself harder into him creating friction between his erection and my stomach causing him to moan and I began moving my hips in circles between our tightly pressed bodies creating more friction for him, "Kitten, oh my god!" and I felt his hand on the small of my back pulling me even closer, "Please Edward," I whispered and I felt my self moving through he air and suddenly up against a wall my legs wrapped instinctively around his waist. I looked at the bed and than to him confused, "Isabella," he began, "this first time that we make love, I don't was to be above you or below you, I want us to be equal!" I felt the tears starting to flood my eyes, he looked alarmed and I put my finger on his lips and whispered, "I'm ok, I'm ready!" But in truth I was better than ok, in that moment I was certain that we had finally reached my intended destination, he understood me. I never wanted to be in control nor did I want him to, I wanted us to be equal, partners and here he is demonstrating with explicit clarity that he understands what I want, what I need!

I closed my eyes in anticipation of what was about to happen but he commanded, "Open your eyes Kitten!" I opened my eyes to find his liquid gold eyes filled with love and patience and I knew in that moment he was my forever.

He balanced my weight on his forearm and steadied himself placing a hand on the wall above my hand. "I'm out of hands Kitten," he smiled lovingly at me. I smiled shyly and reached in between us guiding him to my entrance and than wrapping my arms around his neck and meeting his gaze once again.

He slowly pushed in and I felt my lips make an O shape, the sensations were intoxicating and than I felt the searing heat and tapped his shoulder and he stopped, I held his gaze allowing my body time to adjust to him and than nodded for him to proceed. He very slowly continued to fill me until our bodies were flush against each other and he was buried deeply within me. "Kitten," he panted, "You feel. . ." he could not form the words but started moving in and out of me slowly a deep moan escaped my lips and my legs tightened around him prompting him to go faster, "Edward!" I whispered somehow managing to arch my back in the confined space bringing him even deeper into me, I heard a crash somewhere but was to far gone to look I continued to rock my hips meeting his thrusts. "Please Edward, more, harder!" I cried! "Fuck!" I heard him mutter under his breath before his lips crushed into mine, there was another crash but all I could focus on were the movements of his hips bringing him into me deeper and faster, I tore my lips away from him and let my head fall against the wall the familiar tightening starting within my walls building momentum. "Edward," I panted, "almost, please Edward, come with me!" he moved the positioning of one leg closer to the wall and with that movement he began stroking my clit with every thrust and I began crying out my walls tightening around him throwing him over the edge he continued thrusting as we cried out together and I heard yet another crash and Edward whispering over and over in my ear, "I love you Isabella". We rode the wave out a little while longer before becoming still staying in that position for several long moments before he slipped out of me and my legs started sliding down his hips to the floor.

He leaned me against the wall and when he was sure I had steady footing he walked over the nightstand and grabbed a tissue placing a condom in it and throwing it in the wastebasket. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Edward when did you put that on?" I asked still breathless, suddenly I was wrapped in his arms my chin tilted up with his pinkie, "I'm fast!" he shrugged and I rolled my eyes. "Would you like to lie down with me kitten?" I smiled at his more frequent use of the nickname, "Yeah, I'll be right back," I said and walked back to the dinner table refilling my glass and than bringing the bottle as well for good measure. Edward laughed as he saw the glass and bottle in my hands as I came back into the room, "Should I start stocking the fridge with champagne Miss Swan?" I laughed, "Couldn't hurt Mr. Cullen," I answered. I took a long sip and set the glass and bottle on the nightstand before crawling onto his lap straddling him.

He was sitting against the headboard and I rested my forehead against his enjoying the moment before finally pulling away from him. I studied his face carefully and felt the emotion welling up, his head cocked to the side, "Bella, are you ok?" he asked concerned. I was becoming lost in the infinite depths of his eyes, I closed my eyes to get my emotions under control and when I opened them I picked up his hand and kissed each knuckle and than his palm before placing it flat against my heart. "I love you Edward," I said my voice throaty with emotion, "I have always been yours, I will always be yours, and I love you! Edward's head snapped to the side looking away from me and an indescribable sound escaped his lips as his chest starting heaving. "Edward!" I exclaimed alarmed that there was something wrong, "Are you ok, should I call Carlisle?" He turned his head back to me and I realized that this was the vampire version of crying. "Bella, I have tried to be so patient but I have not heard you say those words since before I left. I have been dying inside waiting to hear you say those words!" "Edward," I cried my tears spilling over "I love you, I love you, I love you. . ." I continued to whisper the words over and over again planting kisses all over his face, neck and shoulders as he continued to shake under the weight of the emotion and in finally being able to take care of him I knew our love would last.

*****

D: Sitting in living room sick with a cold wearing jamies, socks and wrapped in a blanket which is really freakin unusual seeing as how I live in Palm fucking Springs. Bella enters and flops down on opposite side of couch.

D: Hey Bella.

B: Hey D

D: What's up?

B: Not much just wanted to say thanks!

D: For what?

B: For showing some basic common decency and stopping with all the cock blocking!

D: You know Bella you are 18 fucking years old in a relationship with a vampire I would not exactly call you and the best fucking authority on relationships or the pace at which they should proceed. Also, I would really shut my pie hole if I were you seeing as how I could proceed with the cock blocking any fucking time I want.

B: Whatever Biatch!

D: Whatever Biatch!

Bella hops up and does her best sulky teenager impression.

B: Hey D

D: Yes Bella?

B: It was REALLY amazing!

D: Your welcome Bella!