Chapter 3-Memories

Alistair was at odds with himself. Aubrie's arms around him had felt so right. A part of him wanted to trap her to him, kiss her senseless, then take her back to his tent and
make love to her until both their energies had been spent. She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever known and he could not deny that he still loved her.

Then his mind went back to Ostagar and Duncan. Loghain betrayed them all when he retreated. He deserved to die, and he wanted so much to be the one to strike the killing blow.
Aubrie had taken that away from him, however, when she made him a grey warden. Alistair had never felt so betrayed in his life. It didn't help matters any when he learned
Loghain had died in the battle against the Archdemon, and that he was deemed as the Hero of Fereldon. A hero, of all things. The man allowed slavery of elves, left the king, his
own son-in-law to die in battle, and had an alliance with a murderer, the very same man who murdered Aubrie's family. Yet she spared him and made him a hero. He didn't think he
could ever forgive her for it.

When they left the tavern, they walked over to where Wynne and Zevran had been waiting for them. He was glad to see Wynne. "Wynne it's good to see you again," he gave her a
small hug. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh Alistair, there's still some strength in these old bones," she answered with a smile. "What about you? Are you taking good care of yourself?"

Alistair grinned. "Well not as much as you would probably like, but I'm getting by." Then he looked at Zevran. "Aubrie, you're still keeping this elf around?"

Aubrie smiled at Zevran. "Of course. He's proven quite useful. He helped me find you."

Zevran wrapped an arm around Aubrie's waist. "That's right. There's nothing I wouldn't do for this beautiful woman right here." Then he added with a wink to Alistair, "Including
warm her bed at night, if she so wished."

For a quick second, Alistair wanted to punch the elf. How dare he say such things about his Aubrie, but then he remembered that she wasn't his Aubrie anymore. If she wished to have
her bed warmed by the elf, that was her right, though it did not sit well with him. He snapped his attention back to the task at hand. "So what do we do now?" he asked.

Always the leader, Aubrie responded, "Well I think we should travel to the circle first, ask some questions, see if anyone had seen or heard anything the night Connor
disappeared."

"I think that is a good idea," Wynne said before adding "Though, I think a good nights rest is in order. These old bones can only take so much."

Aubrie smiled. "I agree Wynne, a good nights rest would do us all good."

They decided to set up camp near Alistair's tent. Even though the nights events had exhausted Aubrie, she couldn't sleep. There was a couple times when she had thought she saw a
part of the old Alistair. When he turned around and saw her for the first time, for a moment he looked happy to see her. Then that scene with Zevran. She swore she saw, what, a
flash of jealousy? She dared to hope.

Then her thoughts brought her to Zevran. Though she knew what Zevran told Alistair was true, she also knew he only said what he did for Alistair's benefit. Her friend was
purposely trying to make Alistair jealous. She smiled at the thought of the former crow. He was ever faithful. That night Alistair left, he had tried to catch the ex-templar, to
reason with him for her sake. However, due to her little episode, Alistair had disappeared before he could. Then after the blight, when he decided to find Alistair for her, she
couldn't have been more grateful. She knew she needed to find Alistair, but she was in no condition to do so. A couple times he would stop in and check to make sure she wasn't over exerting herself. Any other woman would probably easily fall in love with the handsome elf, but not Aubrie. No, Aubrie's heart belonged to a man who didn't return her feelings. Probably always would.

Finally her thoughts brought her to the twins. She was going to have to tell Alistair. How, she did not know. How would he take it? Would he even believe her? She thought back
to a happier time during the blight, (strange how she could put them together in the same sentence) her and Alistair were laying in their tent after a long passionate night.
They were laying on their sides, Alistair behind Aubrie with his arm wrapped around her waist. She was telling him how she fantasized their future together. In her fantasy, they
owned a little house in Highever with at least three kids running around. It was then she felt Alistair tense up behind her. "What is it Love?" she had asked.

That's when he told her that it was nearly impossible for the two of them to have children. She was disappointed at first, but then she told him that as long as she had him, it
didn't matter.

She laughed when she thought of her current situation. She had the kids, but not Alistair. Not that she would rather have it the other way around now. She loved her babies, and
if wasn't for them, she would've gladly sacrificed herself to the Archdemon. She just would rather have her cake and eat it too.

All these thoughts were leaving Aubrie even more exhausted than before. She closed her eyes and allowed herself the sleep she so desperately needed.

***

Their visit to the Circle turned out better than they hoped.

Not only could Connor's roommates give a full description of Connor's kidnapper, whom Aubrie recognized as Ser Gordon, a knight from Highever, but they also claimed they
overheard the knight telling Connor he was taking him to Denerim. When asked if this information had been relayed to Irving or Gregoir, the apprentices shook their heads,
responding that they feared for Connor's safety.

As they left for Denerim, Aubrie heard Alistair say something about this being an easy mission. Aubrie couldn't help but wonder if it was too easy.