A.N- The ages of the Uzumaki boys, because you need to know them to understand this.

Minato-19

Sasuke-15

Jiraiya-just turned 13

Tamaki- 10, almost 11

Iruka- 6, almost 7

"Alright, let's rewrite your essay." Uzumaki Jiraiya said as he sat down at the table with his younger brother, Iruka, who was sitting in his seat, arms folded across his chest, pouting, which was kinda funny, considering he was sitting on two telephone books just to reach the table.

"I don't wanna."

"Well, you have to. C'mon, write your name." (hands Iruka the empty sheet of paper)

Iruka took the paper and wrote-

I hate essays. Jiraiya is a meanie brother. Mommy doesn't love me. Lee-sensei failed me on purpose.

"Done." (hands paper back to Jiraiya)

Jiraiya scanned the paper and sighed. "Iruka, you and I both know none of this is true. Be serious, ok? (hands him another new paper) Write your name."

Iruka took the paper and wrote:

Name: Iruka Uzumaki The Bold

Jiraiya took the paper and growled. "Iruka, be serious!"

"I AM being serious! You told me to write my name! I writed it!"

"I wrote it, Iruka. "writed" isn't a word. Besides, your name doesn't end with "the bold"!"

"How do you know?"

"Is that what was written on your birth certificate? Iruka Uzumaki The Bold??"

"Maybe! I don't know!"

"Well, it wasn't. So don't write that." (erases "the bold")

"Hmph. Fine. Don't gots to be mean about it."

"Its "you don't have to be mean about it", Iruka-"

"I DON'T CARE! YOU...YOU.....POOPY-HEAD JIRAIYA-NEE-SAN!"

"POOPY-HEAD?!? YOU LITTLE PUNK! HERE IM TRYING TO HELP YOU BECAUSE KAASAN SAYS YOUR FAILING, AND YOU-"

"Oi, what's going on here?"

Iruka and Jiraiya snapped their heads around to face...to face...

BARNEY THE FRICKIN DINOUSAUR FROM OUR IMAGINATIONS!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, no.

Uzumaki Minato.

The oldest brother, The Nee-sama. Uzumaki Minato was definitely one of the sharpest kids in his class at the academy. Minato was currently head of a squad at ANBU, and obviously a Jonin of Konoha. He had developed 3 different types of Rasengans, and further improved his father's Rasen-Shuriken. People say he's just like the Fourth himself, in looks, attitude, and power, therefore fullfilling his namesake. A serious heartthrob in the village, though in no way is he a player or a perv, unlike his father. Above all, all the Uzumaki brothers looked up to him.

"Nee-sama!" Iruka gasped. Jiraiya immediately went into impress-neesama-by-acting-cool phase.

"Kaasan told me to help Iruka, and he's not listening to me."

Minato, who was rubbing his head with a towel, because he just took a shower, opened one eye, which stared at his two younger siblings like a hawk.

Huh. A hawk with piercing blue eyes.

"Iruka, listen to him." he said calmly.

"Hai, Nee-sama!" Iruka grabbed a paper and wrote his name- WITHOUT "the bold".

"Jiraiya, have more patience. Iruka is young. Youngers learn from the elders. He will learn. Since he's older then you, he looks up to you."

"Hai, Nee-sama."

"Haha! I don't look up to Jiraiya-nee-chan! I look up to Nee-sama and Tousan!!!" Iruka said, jumping off the chair and straight into Minato's arms, who chuckled, and patted his brother's hair.

"Ok, do your work. Also, Iruka, hold respect for your elders, ok?"

"Hai!"

"Yo." Uzumaki Sasuke said cooly as he walked into the kitchen. Minato eyed his second younger brother.

"Did you take a shower, Sasuke?"

"No. What's it look like?"

"Then go take one now."

"Who's here to make me?"

"I am."

"And Im going to listen to you?"

"Yes."

"No." Sasuke opened the fridge. In a flash, Minato was in front of him, gently shutting the door.

"Yes." He bore his eyes into Sasuke's green ones. A staring contest. A few moments later, and Sasuke flinched.

"Fine." he spat, shoving past Minato to his room upstairs. The door to his room slammed.

A few silent, kinda awkward moments later, and Iruka turned to Minato.

"Nee-sama, why is Sasuke-nee-san so mean? He won't let me go anywhere with him. He always says im a pest, and he's always picking on me. Why?"

Minato pulled up a chair next to his two brothers. "Well, Sasuke's a teenager, right? So-"

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The kitchen door was promptly kicked down, Iruka screamed, and there on the kitchen table stood Uzumaki Tamaki in green spandex.

"Well? How's it look?" he flexed his "muscles".

Minato smiled. "Its fine, but get off the table. You'll get into trouble if Kaasan sees you."

"Oh, Nee-sama, your hoooommmme! Don't worry, Kaasan's working at the hospital. (Tamaki jumps into Minato's lap) When did you get here?"

"A while ago. How was the academy?"

"Good. Im glad you're here, Nee-sama. Sasuke-teme's going to eat our heads off."

"Shove it up your ass, Tamaki. And take off the green crap. You're an embarrassment." Sasuke appeared, rubbing his dark blonde hair with a towel, green eyes glaring. Minato frowned- a very rare and bad sign. (AN- he called the spandex green crap. That's an insult to Lee, who is VERY close to the Uzumakis.)

"Hey. That's it for you, Sasuke. One more word and.."

"And? What'll you do? Punish me? Your not my father, Nee-sama." Sasuke said bitterly. Minato closed his eyes. Iruka looked back and forth from Minato to Sasuke, scared. Tamaki just watched, from his place on Minato's lap. Jiraiya just stared down at his hands, obviously not knowing how to handle this situation.

A new voice, tired yet firm, and a bit angry, came from the kitchen door, all except Minato failing to notice the new person standing and watching the entire scene unfold.

"But I am."