YEEEEAAAAAAAYUH!!!!
Now, I'm jumping ahead to about when the canon story starts. Naruto and Hinata are 12, Hanabi's 7, Hiatari's 4. (Just a reference…)
And… uhh… just so you know, the story name 'The Blonde Hyuuga' doesn't refer to Naruto and Hinata's kid… To be honest, I'm pretty sure any kid they have would wind up with Hyuuga-dominant genes. Byakugan, black hair, partially androgynous no matter the gender… Ahhh… the wonders of the Hyuuga…
'Then what the fuck does the title mean!?' you ask? Ohhhohoho… you'll have to read on to find out…
(Yeah, I really did laugh maniacally while I typed that… scary, huh?)
Now, I am happy to say that I am DAMN sure no one (or at least not MANY) people could've seen the team setup I've got planned coming… Kekeke…
Questions that came up on reviews that I think should be answered… Yes, Naruto can still access Kyuubi's chakra. This comes up next chapter. And although Hanabi's immune system is pretty much… not there… she's perfectly healthy due to the same reason Naruto is. Kyuubi's influence. If anything in this fic doesn't make sense, blame the fox… (That's what I do…) Also, deficiencies like the one I gave Hanabi aren't unheard of or uncommon in children who were born prematurely.
Naruto was sitting in his classroom alongside his fellow students… he'd just graduated from the academy two days ago, along with most of the class, however he was anything but happy… the night after he'd passed, He'd tricked Mizuki into revealing his dark intentions for Konoha and Naruto by agreeing to his farce of 'learning a Jounin level technique to jump straight to Chuunin'. He had to admit, Kage Bunshin kicked ass, but he spent a short while wondering if three hours of questioning the next day was worth it… Soon afterward he decided it was, and that was that. He had made the mistake of not informing Sarutobi-Sandaime of his plans, as well as using the scroll to bludgeon his former assistant-sensei's skull several times. It was tough enough convincing Ibiki he had a good reason for taking the scroll, let alone getting blood all over it…
As soon as Iruka walked into the room holding a clipboard, however, Naruto's mood skyrocketed. He was a Genin, now, and that was one hell of a step towards becoming the Godaime… Now he'd get to find out his team and sensei. His mood couldn't be further from what it was five seconds prior.
"Okay… Now I'm going to list off team numbers and member names…" Iruka said. Naruto decided to practice his meditation while he tuned out everything other than familiar names… He'd heard a few, but otherwise unimportant. "Team seven; Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto, and Aburame Shino." Naruto groaned when he heard it. He wasn't on the same team as Hinata… but that didn't matter. He knew Sakura in passing, but he hated Sasuke, and by extension was biased against his fangirls. He really didn't know her very well, but he figured he could get along with her as long as she didn't have Sasuke around to dote over. Shino was a good friend, so Naruto was glad to have one on his team at least. "Team eight; Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata, and Uchiha Sasuke."
Now this, Naruto wasn't going to stand for. "YOU PUT SASUKE-TEME ON THE SAME TEAM AS MY HINATA!?"
Iruka sighed. He knew this was going to happen… "Yes, Naruto… but it wasn't me that put them together. I'm just reading off the list…"
"Did you know…" Naruto said, forcing himself to calm down. "That the Hyuuga and Uchiha are natural enemies?" At this, everyone in the room glanced between Hinata and Sasuke. Their clan feud was public knowledge, but since there was only one Uchiha left in Konoha, it was a moot point until now. "There is no way I'm leaving my Hinata with a bastard that wouldn't even give a damn about her safety…"
"Naruto… statistically, you would have been a good choice to pair up with her, however…" Iruka said, watching Naruto puff out his chest and flare red with rage again. "If you were to be on her team, your prior relationship would hinder individual development." Most, if not all of the class was dumfounded at this. "You are far too overprotective of Hinata. In that regard, in any remotely dangerous situation, you would simply wind up fighting her battles for her. This would not only take from a team dynamic, but it would also limit Hinata's skills as a shinobi, endangering her later in life when the two of you aren't paired together on missions." Sadly, Naruto could find no argument to those facts. Iruka was right… He needed to back away and let Hinata handle her own fights…
But the UCHIHA!?
---
Naruto and the rest of the newly formed Team Seven were still sitting in class long after the rest of the Genin had met their Jounin sensei and left. Naruto was glad to see Hinata paired up with Kurenai, although she was thoroughly shocked she had an Uchiha for a student for some reason or another… She even spent a minute discussing it with Iruka out of earshot. From what he could hear, the reason for the last-minute switch is because Naruto and Sasuke would probably wind up killing each other… Damn straight, I'd kill 'im… he thought.
Although most in their position would grow to form a bond of friendship through their rivalry, Sasuke's firm insult of Hinata was a slap to the face for Naruto, and the Uchiha didn't open up to anyone, let alone someone he wrongly thought of as a 'dobe'. In the end, all there was between them was sheer and utter hatred… He felt more at ease since he knew Kurenai was their teacher. She wouldn't let anything happen to Hinata, and Naruto was damn sure that if anyone could break Sasuke of his emo-bitch status, it was the Genjutsu Mistress.
Naruto was tense. More than that, he was rigid with pure primal RAGE at his sensei for being so late. If there was one thing Uzumaki Naruto couldn't stand, it was being too excited to meditate and having to sit on his ass for more than a half hour. This had only happened once before… Hiashi knew damn well not to keep Naruto waiting now, and the blonde would be damned if his sensei wasn't about to learn the same lesson. So, Naruto did what he always did to unwind… Cause misfortune to the one who irked him in the form of a prank…
Naruto was trying to decide whether to use a blackboard eraser caked with itching powder or instant adhesive when their sensei finally arrived. DAMN!!! Naruto thought. I'll get 'im next time… Naruto was well-renowned for his pranks, more specifically, how they were so meticulously calculated. If he wanted to hit a single person in a crowd with an oatmeal-filled water balloon, by Kami, he'd HIT that ONE person, and not get a single oat on anyone else. However, there was a fact only two people were privy to… Naruto was not the only prankster in class. His rival, the only other person that knew of the other prankster's identity (Naruto's specialty was executing overly complicated pranks flawlessly, his rival's specialty was remaining anonymous) was the second prankster himself. This prankster, however, had just finished telling his Kikai bugs to lay down a thin layer of excrement in front of the door. Invisible, nearly odorless, and quite slippery…
"Ohayo…" the silver-haired Cyclops was face-first into the floor within seconds of entering the room, with a sound not unlike '"FURG"-KLUNK'
If there was one thing Aburame Shino loved, it's when people got what they deserved. Especially shinobi that never bother to look where they step… Smirking evilly as their new sensei picked himself up off the floor, he heard his Kunoichi teammate yell "NARUTO!" The ensuing smile that crept upon his features threatened to break from the safety of the abnormally high collar indicative of standard Aburame-garb.
I don't like these three… Kakashi thought. "I like you guys…" He said. "You've got talent for stealth and traps, I'll give you that…"
"Don't we… y'know… go to some secluded, relaxing place now and talk about ourselves?" Naruto asked sheepishly, at which Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow. "Aniki was talking about it… he passed the Academy Graduation Exam last year."
"Aniki? I thought you were an only child…" Kakashi stated.
"Oh, I am… I was talking about Neji. He's like an older brother to me." Naruto clarified.
"Hyuuga Neji? From Gai's team…?" Kakashi asked.
"Yeah… you know him?" The blonde asked.
"No… I know his sensei, though."
---
The four were sitting on a balcony, overlooking the city. Just like Naruto said… peaceful, calming, serene… "So, aren't you gonna go first, Sensei?" Naruto asked.
"Okay, then… My name is Hatake Kakashi. I have a few hobbies, I like most things… dislike some things… and I don't have any dreams at the moment." Kakashi answered his own questions of 'what is your name, your hobbies, things you like and dislike, and dreams for the future?'
Naruto pulled a small, black book from his jacket pocket, and opened it to a marked page. "Hatake Kakashi, AKA 'Copy Ninja Kakashi', Rank: Jounin, Notable features: Sharingan? Oooh… fancy. Traits/habits: Almost constantly seen reading a lewd book series, and keeps himself relatively secluded."
"Where did you get a Kiri Bingo Book?" Kakashi asked, deciding to follow with a better question; "…WHY do you have a Kiri Bingo Book?"
"I have my ways…" Naruto said, before pulling four more little black books from various pockets, holding them all in one hand like a fan. "Honestly, how else am I supposed to figure out who everyone is around here?"
Kakashi grumbled. This kid knew about Icha Icha… from the rumors he'd heard of the blonde, he's probably read Icha Icha too… No matter, they all knew about it now, and they didn't know much else besides what they'd find out eventually… "Okay then… you… kunoichi." He said, pointing to Sakura.
"Well… my name's Haruno Sakura… I don't think I have any hobbies… There's this boy I like… and a few I dislike…" She eyed her teammates when she said this. "Dreams for the future…" She blushed as she held her hands together and stared up into blank space.
"Haruno…" Shino said, silently enough so that only the four present could hear, but firm enough to catch his teammate's attention. "The Uchiha does not return your feelings, and statistically, he will never do so." The only thing that saved Shino from a pounding was the fact that Naruto was between them to hold her back. "It is common knowledge that although almost eighty percent of the females in our class are attracted to him, he shows no signs of interest in romance, nor the opposite gender in any respect."
Sakura grumbled as she sat back into her chair. "Tch… yeah, right…" She muttered. Of course, he was right… but she wouldn't admit it.
"Logically, three conclusions can be drawn…" Shino continued. "The Uchiha is premature, and lacks the hormonal influx to feel impulsive lust and thus find attraction. The Uchiha simply wishes for no emotional attachments whatsoever…" Shino paused for a moment, taking in a slight breath. He knew what her reaction was going to be… "The Uchiha is however, most likely homosexual in nature."
Shino was right. Sakura leapt clear over Naruto to land a kick directly on Shino's brow. Or, she thought she did, until he dissolved away into a mass of bugs, causing Sakura to squeal slightly. Naruto laughed; "Sakura-nee-chan… temper, temper…"
"May we continue?" Shino asked, walking out from behind Kakashi.
"Please do…" The Jounin replied.
"Hehee… well, I'm Uzumaki Naruto. Not sure if I have any hobbies… but I like being around my friends and my Hinata…" Kakashi looked at the boy curiously. He didn't actually think he called her 'his' Hinata like he'd been told… but, apparently everyone just got used to it. The teasing about them being an 'item' died down years ago, and no one really remembers anything about it. Most just see them like a sibling pair with an overprotective big brother… "I don't like Sasuke-teme or anyone like him who thinks they're better than everyone else just because of their birth…" He glared at Sakura slightly when he said Sasuke's name. "And one day, I'm going to become Hokage! So I can help everyone… even the people who just see me as a relic from some horrible nightmare…"
Sakura and Shino both gave him confused looks, but Kakashi understood. He wanted people to see him for Naruto, not Kyuubi… "That's all well and good, Naruto… but you need to be the strongest shinobi in the village to become Hokage." Kakashi said.
"So I need to get stronger… big deal." Naruto said sarcastically. "If you coast through living only taking what comes easy to you, you'll never truly live a day in your life…"
Kakashi was amazed with the boy. He was already spouting philosophical ideals, even if he didn't realize it. Just like Yondaime… This kid is going to become great… Kakashi thought. "Okay… you?"
"Aburame Shino." The last member of the Genin cell said as he took his seat again. Upon looks from the other three urging him to continue, he complied. "I like… 'bugwatching' as Naruto calls it… I like insects, and the few close friends I've made over these past four years at the academy. I dislike quite a lot of things, especially people who pry into other's lives…" He glanced at his teammates. Naruto chuckled and slunk back. Sakura was sure if Shino had the power to do so, he'd burn a hole through her with his eyes. "My future is my own business."
"Wow, Shino…" Naruto said. "I DO believe that's the most I've heard you say since that time me and the guys got you dru-" Naruto was immediately silenced by Shino's deathly glare. You do not want to piss off an Aburame… All said though, an intoxicated Shino is the life of any party. Subsequently, they'd all been sworn never to speak of it on pain of castration and/or death.
---
To say the next couple weeks flew by would be an understatement. Naruto was fairly certain he'd blocked several days worth of memories from his mind… Today, however, Naruto was simply fed up… He'd caught this cat how many times before? He was nearly ready to snap… after handing the cat off to its owner, the Daimyo's wife, he regained a sliver of malicious joy in the fact that it was strangled every second Naruto saw it in her arms. Before the Sandaime could open the book to give them their next D-rank mission, Naruto spoke up…
"Saru-ji…" Everyone was either dumbfounded, astonished, or downright scared that Naruto would call the Hokage 'Old Monkey'. Sarutobi, however, was in the 'scared' category. Naruto had only used this term twice before, and it never ended well for the old man. "I'm losing my mind… now… I want either a higher-ranked mission, or something at least somewhat interesting like a joint mission…"
Sarutobi chuckled. Naruto was serious this time… "This is the fourth time you've asked for C or higher missions, and the seventh time you've asked for a joint mission with Team Eight."
Everyone looked at Naruto. They were there for one higher-mission request, and two pleads for joint missions… but they had no idea he'd actually asked more than just those times… "And…?" Naruto asked.
"I think I can accommodate both requests…" After hearing the reports from Kakashi about his team's combat abilities, Sarutobi was sure they could pull off at least a B-Rank mission if they had backup…
---
(Flashback – training ground seven - one day after the formation of Team Seven)
The three Genin were standing about ten yards from their sensei, who had just finished explaining 'The Bell Test'. Naruto and his two teammates simply stood there… until; "I've got a plan…"
The other three looked at the blonde who'd just spoken. "Any time you're ready…" Kakashi said, taking out a book to read. He was underestimating Naruto after telling him to try and kill his sensei… It isn't wise to piss off a Jinchuuriki.
"Sakura… you stay back with Shino, and take care of him. Shino; bug me…" Naruto said firmly. When he merely got confused looks he added "Now, please?" Doing as he was told, Shino let his Kikai bugs swarm over Naruto and he was motioned to back away. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto yelled. Nine clones popped into existence, each one covered in a swarm of Kikai bugs. With a look of shock and awe, his teammates understood. He'd just increased Shino's offensive abilities tenfold. It also made sense that he instructed Sakura to guard him, as controlling a swarm of this size took all of Shino's concentration, even to the point where he had to block out the rest of the world. He was utterly defenseless, his own safety given up for power that made even the Jounin in front of them quiver in fear.
"…crap."
Kakashi only had time for one word before he put his book away. He was already being surrounded by Naruto clones, with the original staying back to help guard Shino as well as retain his chakra reserves in case they needed more clones. Kakashi underestimated him… and he'd told him to come at him with 'intent to kill'. Honestly, he already knew which room in the hospital they were going to put him in… the 'dumbass' ward…
The nine Naruto clones came at him in threes, as not to overcrowd the battlefield when they tried to hold Kakashi long enough for Shino's 'Kikai cloud' to catch him. Kakashi may be able to fend off two or three Naruto clones, but add in nearly a million chakra-sucking insects, and any Jounin would be fearing for their lives. The Kage Bunshin, as they were granted a fraction of Naruto's total chakra upon their creation, were also capable of using Jyuuken. Kakashi was instantly aware of this fact as several of the light blows aimed at him struck their marks. Honestly, Kakashi was utilizing skills far beyond mere Genin or Chuunin, merely to survive the onslaught…
Even Kawarimi couldn't save him… every time he tried to lose them, the bugs would simply lead the team of clones back to him. He knew this strategy… The Naruto clones had probably placed several bugs on his person during their attacks, and the swarm was using these to find him. If for no other reason, he was going to lose due to sheer chakra exhaustion…
And then he noticed it. He was tired. Too tired… looking out from his hiding place in the trees, he saw the swarm floating towards him, and the four Naruto clones remaining running on ahead of them. No… wait… the cloud was too small… Horror flushed over his features as he saw them... The trees were covered in Kikai, and they were swiftly washing over him.
The last thing the Jounin saw was Naruto's foot. Or rather, the feet of two Naruto clones rushing towards him. As he predicted, he woke up in what Tsunade had labeled her 'Idiot' ward, with three rooms of varying degrees of inanity. 'Stupid' 'dumbass' and 'brain-dead'. Kakashi was fortunate. She'd only stuck him in 'stupid', although he spent the next week there recovering chakra exhaustion and internal injuries.
---
(Present – Hokage's office)
"Send him in…" Sarutobi said, and a drunkard in a straw hat was lead into the room. "Tazuna-san, these four, along with a similar squad, will be your escort."
"These brats?" He asked, not bothering to mask the distaste in his voice.
"Six brats…" Kakashi said. "Who could probably take down any one shinobi in this village if they set their minds to it, along with myself and another Jounin."
"Sufficient escort for a B-Rank mission…" Shino added, his voice monotone as usual. "You should thank the Hokage, as well as our sensei for allowing our training to encompass your request."
Tazuna grunted in acceptance. "All right then…" Sarutobi said. "You are to be prepared to leave by 9 tomorrow morning. I shall send word to Kurenai…" And at this, Team Seven filed out of the room to prepare for their trip the next day. Shino wouldn't admit it, but even he couldn't help but smile.
Yeah… just so you know, I'm not going to have Shino be the "OMG I HAVE NO EMOTIONS" guy he is in canon… Just… no. Naruto is one of his best friends in this fic, and no one who can even remotely call Naruto their friend could possibly suppress their emotions. I AM however keeping his 'logic is absolute' attitude for the most part. Plus, honestly… Shino the prankster? You know you love it…
Next chapter is, obviously, the mission to Wave. NOTHING YOU SAY CAN CHANGE WHO LIVES AND DIES IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. I already have it planned out, and I think you'll learn to love it if you give it a chance…
Also, don't try to tell me to pair Haku up with anyone, okay? Just… no. (This has ALSO been decided beforehand. Whether it's because (s)he dies next chapter or I already have someone picked out, you'll have to read to find out… oh I am sooo evil… kekeke…)