A/N: This is kinda based off of an excellent joke I heard just a few hours ago. It was so magnificent that I simply had to make it into a story and share it with you... Poor Chaz! XD
Disclaimer: I do not own YGO GX or Chazz Princeton. Unfortunately. Or is that... fortunately? :P
Andi Denvers hummed softly to herself as she placed the last of her things into a carefully lined, thick wooden crate. When the top was placed on it and nailed down, she stood up, dusted off her hands and looked around the room to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything. Deciding she hadn't, she left the room and made for the kitchen to have one last glass of the house's expensive wine before going to bed.
Next morning, Andi got up bright and early and called the movers. She watched and directed while the huge men moved her things from the house and into massive moving trucks. Once all was done, Andi once more looked around the house to make sure nothing was forgotten. Seeing again that nothing was, she got aboard her car and lead the movers to her new house.
After once more directing boxes and crates of all shapes and sizes into the modest looking house, the amethyst-eyed young woman drove back to her old house and went back inside to enjoy her last night there, all alone.
Andi swept her raven locks up off her shoulders with a simple yet pretty clip before sitting down comfortably for one last meal at the expensive and elegant dining table. Her now ex-husband was due home the next day and she was going to make sure she thoroughly enjoyed her last night in the old, ancient house.
Set out before the raven-haired young woman was five pounds of mouth-watering shrimp, a few scrumptious looking bottles of caviar and a picture-perfect bottle of sparkling spring water.
After sitting back and having her fill, Andi casually pushed her chair back, gathered up the left-over shrimp and caviar and left the dining room. She walked right past the kitchen, down the hall and opened the first door on her right. Extracting a small step ladder from the hall closet, the amethyst-eyed woman headed into the first room in the hall and placed the step ladder in front of the high window at the back of the room. She then reached up, took down the curtains and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rod. Putting the rod and curtains back up, she got down from the ladder and left the room. Proceeding through the rest of house, Andi followed through with this action in each and every room.
It took quite some time, but eventually Andi placed the last curtain rod back in it's rightful place and climbed down from the ladder. Replacing the ladder back into the downstairs hall closet, she headed upstairs and entered the main bedroom. After undressing, the young woman climbed under the blankets and snuggled up under the thick and heavy comforts, knowing she was going to miss the expensive bed for a while. Still, despite this thought, Andi still fell asleep with a smile on her face as she awaited the following morning.
Chazz Princeton removed his expensive designer sunglasses as he starred up at his gorgeous and expensive home. The smirk on his face made it up to his dark eyes as he turned away from the scene and walked around his black Mercedes car to open the passengers door for his girlfriend and offer her a hand out.
"Oh, baby! This is absolutely beautiful!" The blonde clad in obnoxious pink cooed excitedly. "Even better then you described it!"
Chazz's smirk widened as he allowed the petite woman to link an arm through his before leading her towards the house.
"And it's all ours, bebe." He crowed cockily.
The blue-eyed blonde on his arm wrinkled her nose in distaste as she eyed the candy-apple red '69 Camaro parked directly in front of the house.
"I thought you said she was gone?" She almost whined. Chazz brushed it aside.
"Today's her last day." He replied dismissively. "She's probably about to leave any minute now."
As if on cue, the door opened and the raven-haired young man's ex-wife came through the door wearing her own pair of expensive designer shades. She paused as Chazz and his girlfriend stopped about half-way up the stairs to look at her. Removing her glasses, Andi gave Chazz a charming smile.
"Morning, Chazzie." She cooed cheerfully.
Chazz gave the usually serious young woman a suspicious glare.
"Why are you still here?" He replied snobbishly.
Andi, completely unfazed, gestured to a bag in her hands.
"Just collecting a few last minute things." She answered casually. "And I wanted to say goodbye to the ol' girl."
Chazz smirked as Andi gestured towards the house.
"Yea well, I'm sure you've got places to be. See ya around."
Again unaffected by the dark young man's comment, Andi smiled cheerfully again.
"As a matter of fact, I do. Later Chazzie." Amethyst eyes turned to the blue-eyed blonde hanging off her ex's arm, whom was also giving her a sickeningly-sweet, totally false smile of her own. "Holly. So nice to see you again. Enjoy!"
Blue and black eyes watched and followed Andi as she replaced her sunglasses and proceeded confidently down the front of the steps and into her gorgeous car. They watched as she got in, gave a cheerfully wave and finally turned and drove away.
"I really don't like her." Holly sneered with an upturned nose.
Chazz watched the place where Andi had disappeared to in the distance for sometime before finally making a face and turning back to his girlfriend. Lifting her hand to his lips he turned and lead her back up the stairs and into the house.
"Forget her." He replied absently. "She's out of the picture, it's just you and me now."
Holly giggled girlishly when Chazz picked her up bridal style upon walking past the threshold of the house and proceeded upstairs into the master bedroom. Closing the door behind them, Chazz walked over to the bed and deposited his new partner atop it. He paused and smirked as he remembered Andi's reaction merely a month ago when she had come home to discover him and Holly occupying the same bed.
"I'd never seen her so angry." He thought in mild amusement. He was filled with a mild sense of regret however as he remembered his ex-wife's face. "Though I am gonna miss that sexy body. Damn that woman is hott when she's mad!"
"What are you waiting for, baby?" Holly whinned from the bed.
Chazz shook his head and looked down at the blonde with a smirk.
"Just remembering Andi's face when she caught us for the first time."
Holly giggled at that.
"Oh, that! That was soooo funny! She was so mad! And so hurt and everything!! It was pathetic!"
Chazz paused for a moment. He hadn't realized she'd actually been hurt about what he'd done.
"Chazzie!"
Chazz cringed at the nickname. Since the first day he'd met Andi, she had always been the only one who could get away with calling him that....
But if he wanted to bed this girl, he had to let her have her own way... painful as both it and she was. If there was one thing Andi never was it was annoying. He always enjoyed her company....
Chazz shook his head again and forced a sexy grin.
"OK, I'm all yours bebe!" He cooed suavely.
Holly giggled again and held up her arms as Chazz got onto the bed and crawled on top of her.
"You so baaaad." Holly said sexily. Chazz smirked.
"You have no idea how bad I can be." The dark young man growled.
Holly giggled and Chazz cringed again at the irritating sound as he leaned down to bite her neck. He couldn't help but think of Andi and how she used to cutely wrinkle her nose if he said something corny and cheesy like that....
"Rawr!" Holly said childishly.
Chazz resisted a sigh. It was a good thing the blonde was hott. She certainly didn't have anything else going for her.
The first few days of the single life was pure bliss for Chazz -- once he'd fully gotten over Holly's annoying persona and habits. There was fun and much laughter 24/7.
However, after the first few days, both occupants of the house began to notice something. Slowly and subtle at first, the house eventually began to smell. Badly.
"UGH, Chazzie!" Holly winned as she plugged her nose upon exiting a bathroom one morning. "This house reaks!! Can't you do something about it?!"
Chazz took a deep breath to calm himself as he pointed to the phone held to his ear.
"Working on it." He replied in annoyance.
"Well hurry up about it!" Holly whined again. "It's disgusting!"
Chazz clenched his teeth as turned back to the ringing coming through the speaker at his ear.
A few months later found Chazz Princeton at his wits end. He was sitting on his expensive couch, clenching a strong drink in one hand and holding his other in a tight fist in his lap. He was starring moodily at the wall and grinding his teeth as he considered his predicament.
The dark young man was ready to pull his hair out. As of date he had tried just about everything; cleaning, moping, airing the place out and placing air fresheners and other smellies all over the house. He'd had people come in to check the vents in his house for dead rodents, and to steam the carpets. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters; during which time the pair had to vacate the place for a few days, and they'd even replaced all the expensive wool carpeting. Still, nothing worked.
After a few weeks, people stopped coming over to the Princeton house. Repairmen refused to work there and the maids and hired help all quit. Finally the pair could take the stench no longer and had forcibly moved. Another month or so later, even though their price was cut nearly in half, the new pair could not find a buyer for their house. Word got out and eventually even the realtors refused to return Chazz's calls. Eventually the dark young man had been forced to borrow a large sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place, having nearly drained his account dry with his house efforts and attempts to make it fresh and clean again.
Chazz's black eyes shifted to the side as the loud shrill of his cell phone sounded from beside him. Starring at the offending object, he debated picking it up and hurling it at the wall, but eventually he figured it might be an interested buyer or the realtor calling him back and reluctantly reached over to pick it up.
"Hello." He replied darkly.
"Hey, Chazzie! How are you?"
Chazz starred blankly at the wall, the sound of Andi's voice strangely calming him and yet boiling his blood at the same time.
"What do you want?"
"I was just calling to see how things were going." Andi replied casually. "Not going too well?"
Chazz took a deep breath and clenched his teeth before proceeding to elaborate and tell his ex all about the saga of the rotting house.
Andi listened politely as Chazz ranted and waited until she was absolutely sure he was completely finished and burned out.
"Hmmm..." She began slowly. "That's too bad.... But rotting or not, I gotta say; I miss the old gal terribly..."
There was a short pause as Chazz waited for Andi to speak again, and when she finally did, her comment made him lift an eyebrow.
"Ya know.... this is just something for you to think about of course, but... I'd be willing to lower my divorce settlement in exchange for full-ownership of the house."
Chazz smirked at this, his face hurting with the effort as if he hadn't done so in years. He knew Andi had no idea just how bad the smell was and he figured he'd be benefiting for sure knowing how much trouble he'd gone through to try and rid the house of it's stench.
"Alright." Chazz said finally. "You can have the house."
Andi couldn't hold back the huge grin that lit her face as Chazz recited his price to her over the phone. His price was little more then a mere 1/10 of what it was worth on the condition that she sign the papers that very day. Andi forced herself to sober up as she responded to her ex's demands.
"Oh, of course." She replied solemnly, biting her cheek to keep from laughing. "That's only fair."
The amethyst-eyed young woman could hear the smirk in her ex's voice as he replied.
"Alright. I'll see you in a few."
Both people hung up their phones and Andi starred at the wall for a few moments as she thought of the situation and the outcome of the settlement. Finally the huge grin returned and the raven-haired woman threw her head back and roared with laughter.
Within the hour of talking with Chazz, Andi had gone and signed all the correct papers and was now in full ownership of the house. A week later she was once more supervising the moving of her things as huge, brute movers taxied her possessions into her new, old home. When finally the last box was inside and placed just so, the man in charge of the whole operation approached her with a clip board.
"Sign here, please." He said politely.
Andi smiled as she took the clipboard from him and signed the place he'd gestured to.
"Your husband and his partner must be a real spitey bunch." The man said conversationally.
Andi tipped her head to the side and gave the man an inquisitive look as she handed him back his clipboard.
"Sorry? Why do you say that?"
When the man replied, Andi gave him a blank look of disbelief for a moment before snorting and doubling over with raucous laughter.
Starring at the young woman in bewilderment, the man didn't even look at his co-worker as he approached him and blinked at Andi like the other was doing.
"Uh... what'd ya say to her Bob?"
Bob blinked at Andi one more time before turning to his friend.
"Uh.. nothing all that funny.... I just told her her ex took the curtain rods with him."