The rest of the week passed in stone-cold silence, Winry treating Ed like all of her other patients, if not more coldly. Al had been all but chased out of the house, and it was plain that he was no longer welcome. The brunette had taken up sneaking into the shed for shelter from the biting autumn winds when he was sure his brother's mechanic wasn't watching. The two blonds within the house barely spoke to each other, neither inclined to bring up the incident that had caused such a gap in their friendship, or to mention the conspicuous absence of Alphonse. How the older brother had found his sibling, the younger would never know, and did not say a word until they reached the train. Not even the yelling they had grown accustomed to from the mechanic followed the two teens' retreating backs. Silence reigned until the pair returned to the safety of their own home, Ed clicking the lock behind them with a sigh of relief.
"Well. We're still alive, and we're not in jail. Considering everything that happened, I think we made off pretty damn well." A dull grey-green stare was all that was offered in response to the blond's words. Said blond laid a careful hand on his lover's arm, concerned.
"Al? You okay?" The younger teen bit the inside of his lip, looking to the side.
"No, I'm not okay. It's like... I don't know, like Winry made me realize what we are. Well, more of... face the truth? I... I always knew that we were... not wrong, but not right either. I-I love you brother, and part of me never wants to leave your side. But the other part of me, the part of me that knows that brothers should never be this way, wants to run for the hills, or throw myself in a bottomless pit, or, hell, die in a corner somewhere. Anything to get out of this. I just- I just... I'm confused, okay? I have no fucking clue what I should do, and I can't go to anyone for help because you're biased, Winry hates us now, and I can't tell anyone else because this is freaking illegal." Al spat the word like a curse, ignoring the tears welling in the corners of his eyes. His brother recoiled as if stung, hurt shining in golden eyes.
"Al, I told you before. If you've got any doubts about..." Ed trailed off, grasping for words, "us in general," the teen paused again, inhaling as if the extra oxygen could keep him calm, "I can leave, and we can forget all this shit ever happened. I won't force you into something you don't want with all your heart and soul." The brunette shook his head slowly, eyes closing.
"We... I don't need to go that far, brother. I... I just need some space, okay? I think I'll stay at Fletcher's for a while. Call me if anything important happens?" The yellow-eyed alchemist stared for a moment, processing, before nodding.
"Whatever you like, Al." The two shared a final hug before the confused younger slunk away.
Fletcher hadn't seemed surprised in the slightest when his friend showed up on his doorstep, asking to stay a few nights. The blond had simply invited Alphonse in, made a pot of tea, and sat the brunette down at the table to find out what was wrong.
The blond teen had moved to Central, minus an older brother and all of his notes, to study botanical alchemy at the slowly-growing university. From the vague explanation he had been given, Al had surmised that there had been a falling-out of sorts between the Tringhams, which was not to be mentioned under any circumstances.
"So, there's a guy I like, 'kay?" Fletcher nodded; his friend's preferences were no surprise. The two of them had even shared a few exploratory kisses before, hidden away from protective older brothers and knowing they would go absolutely nowhere.
"And I know that he likes me too; we've screwed around a bit. But there's a whole bunch of stuff in the way." Alphonse picked his words carefully, trying not to give too much away.
"Let's just say, for the sake of the argument that he's in an arranged marriage. Thing is, his... fiancé caught us... together... a couple nights ago." The younger teen winced in sympathy, knowing the pain of being caught in a forbidden act.
"So we pretty much said that he'll go by whatever decision I make, but I don't know whether to stay with him and maybe get in trouble but stay mostly happy, or leave him so he can get on with his life." The brunette collapsed on the table, biting his lip and folding his arms over his head. Fletcher chewed on the inside of his lip, thinking.
"Well... I hate to say this, seeing as you're my friend and all, but it sounds to me like you're the other person here. Maybe you should just leave them be." Al bit his lip to keep himself from kicking the blond under the table. 'Calm down, Al... Fletcher wouldn't say stuff like that just to get you mad. He's got a point.' Fletcher got up and contented himself with caring for the many plants scattered about the kitchen, knowing Al wouldn't say more. The older boy was getting that look again, the one that meant he was lost in his thoughts. The Tringham sighed, shaking his head at the foolishness of relationships. Situations like Al's were exactly why he didn't want a boyfriend.
A week had passed in Al's absence; without any sort of work to distract him, Edward had little to do but think of his predicament. That stupid voice in the back of his head had returned, and was arguing with him. The problem with arguing with himself, he mused, was that he either went in circles for hours on end, or ended up convincing himself of something that he'd never believe the next day. His thoughts also kept going off in random directions; he kept wondering what would happen if he went back to Risembool, why Al wasn't back yet (he said he'd only be gone for a few days!), why Al would go to Fletcher (it's because they're friends, you idiot, not because Al's cheating! He wouldn't!), and so on. It seemed that without something concrete to focus on, his mind was determined to not let him focus at all. His thoughts drifted back to Al's absence; shouldn't he be back by now? Surely he wouldn't stay out that long. Unless... Unless he was avoiding Ed on purpose.
'And well he should! Winry showed him the truth, showed you both the truth! He doesn't like being different! He's always said he wanted to be normal, hasn't he?' the voice in his head nagged. Maybe it hadn't reappeared, and maybe he wasn't insane. Maybe that stupid little voice was his conscience waking back up.
'He's mine! He said he loved me as more than a brother; why should that change for anything?! Even Winry can't split us up!' Ed knew his arguments were feeble. Relationships fell apart all the time, especially when they were based on little more than physical attraction.
'He knows he's wrong, knows you're wrong! It's all your fault. What if he says he doesn't want to come back, hm? What then?' The thought was sobering, making his mind roil with uncertainty. What if Al did hate him for this? He would goddamn deserve it. It was his fault, always his fault. Everything he did was wrong. All he did was screw people's lives up. If he had said no, all those months ago, then none of this would have happened. Al wouldn't have tried to convince himself to love his brother as more than family, never would have had to deal with Winry's fit of rage... never would have had to run away from his brother. Ed ground his teeth together, flinging an arm over his eyes. His fault. Everything was his fault. He had to fix this.
The phone ringing jerked the Elric out of his thoughts, and he was tempted to let it ring itself out. It was probably the Colonel anyway... actually, a mission would do him good. Get his mind off things. He strode over to the phone, fully expecting to hear his commanding officer's voice.
"Elric house, who'm I talkin' to?" He let his language slip, too annoyed at himself to care.
"Ed? Um, it's Fletcher. Is Al okay? He said he'd call when he got home, but that was two days ago... Ed?" A small, choked sound had escaped the alchemist's throat. Two days? It didn't take two days to walk four blocks!
"Ed? What's wrong?" The Elric's voice did a poor job of concealing his anger and worry.
"You're sure it was two days? Not two hours, or minutes, or something?" Concern began to creep into the Tringham's voice.
"Yeah, he left on Monday. You mean he's not back yet?"
"No, he's back and I'm just fuckin' with your head, of course he's not back yet!" Ed felt no remorse; if Fletcher was going to ask stupid questions then he could deal with such answers. Without waiting for a response, he slammed the phone down on the receiver. Coat and boots were retrieved on the blond's way to the door. No one else was going to help; it was up to him to find his little brother.