Chapter Five

"We tell lies when we are afraid.. afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger."

*

Hospitals reminded me of one thing; sadness. I suppose you could think exactly the opposite, imagine happiness, the joy of babies being born, the miracle of life. It was a beautiful thing I've heard. For me though, no. After being in the hospital for more broken bones I could count, more concussions I can't remember, accidents that left me nearly dead, I had a bit of a skewed impression. I thought of the families I saw that hold on to one and other, clinging to the thought of happy news. I think of my grandma who died when I was twelve; we were never particularly close, but my mom was so upset after she died. The other looming images in my head of a hospital are the ones of the last time I was in one, which is reason enough to hate them. I guess if I was more ingenious though, I never would have ended up in half the situations that landed me in the hospital in the first place.

"Isabella?" I heard a voice bringing me out of my very deep thoughts. It took me a second to realize I wasn't in the old Phoenix hospital and the nurse who took my temperature and inspected me was gone, replaced by a very handsome doctor.

"Bella," I self consciously corrected, blinking a few times.

"Bella," the doctor repeated, a warm tone to his voice, making me want to trust him. Was he even old enough to be a doctor?!

"I'm Doctor Carlisle Cullen," he introduced himself, staring at me making sure this sunk in. Of course this incredibly attractive doctor would be Edwards dad... Dr. Cullen looked down at the charts in his hand, that were undoubtedly mine.

"Ok, I'm just going to take your blood pressure really quick, if you could roll up your sleeve." I rolled up my sleeve, self-conscious of the scars you could see in some places, but only to my eye. What I did notice, and I knew for sure he would also, was a large bruise in the middle of my forearm. I forgot about that one as my mind reeled at the sight.

"Did you get that today?" Dr. Cullen asked, genuinely curious, but even I could tell it was older. It was yellowing around the edges, no longer the black and blue it surely was weeks ago.

"Uh, no... I got it weeks ago," I tried to convince him as much as myself, my mind was scrambling, trying to get something in order, "Is Charlie here?" I asked frantically.

"Yes he is, but there is something I want to discuss with you before he gets back..." Dr. Cullen trailed off, writing something about my blood pressure down, and taking off the wrap.

"Ok..." I said, trying to prepare myself.

"Something is very concerning to me Bella," Dr. Cullen paused, "Your body weight is extremely low, I don't know how the doctors back in Phoenix didn't catch it or say anything. I've read up, and you've had many injuries, particularly in the past year, but there is nothing indicating extreme weight loss."

"I've always been skinny," I replied simply, trying not to sound too scared.

"Bella," Dr. Cullen warned me with his voice, but in a subtle way, "You weigh 97 pounds, you're 5'6. It's not a natural thing. And I'm betting to guess that bruise wasn't either."

"You think I did it to myself!?" I asked disbelievingly.

"No, I don't think that entirely. I'm not going to jump to any conclusions, I just want you to take better care of yourself," he said sitting in his desk chair, swiveling it around, grabbing something from his desk and then turning back around, handing me a notebook, "I want you to write down for two weeks everything you eat. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. I want you to keep a dietary list of everything. Every day."

I just looked at him, shocked. No one in Phoenix had ever said anything about my weight or noticed any odd bruises.

"And don't lie," he warned, "If you lose any more weight or don't gain any I will have to get your father involved." That struck a cord, I simply nodded and took the book from him.

"Okay.... thanks," I replied, even though I was scared. The last thing I could control, was gone. "Will you relay that to Edward too?" I asked bravely, I didn't know where his name came from in my mind, but it popped out before I could resist.

"May I ask why?" Dr. Cullen asked, smiling, writing one last thing on my chart.

"He saved me today," I replied simply. There wasn't a beat of silence, but I could feel the tension between us, and his need to escape.

"Yes, you were indeed, very lucky," he said smiling still, but it looked a bit forced. "Now if you'll excuse me I have anther patient to go see. Have a good day Bella, you're free to go as long as you get a good nights sleep." I nodded, stunned by his composure and grace; much like his sons. Just as Dr. Cullen exited, Charlie came in.

"Bella, thank God you're all right," my dad said, not urgently or frantically, just how Charlie would say it.

"Yeah, the doctor said I could go home as long as I rest up," I replied, smiling slightly. He nodded, understanding also. Shrilly, Charlie's phone went off making me jump a little. He gave me a confused look, but put his finger up to me, indicating he'd be just a minute and answered it.

"Chief Swan." He listened for a moment and I could hear someone on the other line, from where I was sitting.

I didn't ease drop, but by the way his face drained of color in those moments, it wasn't good. He made a few short answers and snapped his phone shut.

"There's been a stabbing homicide a few blocks down and they need everyone right away..." he trailed off. I didn't know what to expect but I filled in the gap.

"You don't need to drive me home, I can find a ride," I offered, knowing I definitely would not. I tried to wrack my brain of exactly how to get home from here, when I heard the voice of an angel speak up.

"I could take her home," I whipped my head around to see Edward. I winced a little at the pain of my neck twisting so fast, but quickly recovered. He walked over to t he doctors desk and grabbed a few papers, casually. "Sorry to interrupt, my dad forgot some things."

"Oh, you're Carlisles son?" Charlie said cautiously.

"Yes, sir, that's me. Nice to meet you Chief Swan, I'm Edward Cullen," he said flawlessly, of course, "Bella and I have biology together," he briefly explained, and thank heavens because I couldn't have made it sound so casual yet, as if we knew each other. Edward Cullen had a way with words...

"He also saved my life today," I sort of mumbled but loud enough for Charlie to hear.

"Well, thank you," Charlie mumbled too, "And if you're sure it wouldn't be too much of a burden..."

My dad didn't have a way with words, just like me.

"Not a burden at all," Edward said, smiling, and as I looked down, I swear he was smiling at me.

*

"You really don't have to drive me home," I said quietly as we walked out to his car. I felt bad, he surely didn't live by Charlie, and I knew it was out of his way. As we made our way across the parking lot of the hospital, and he automatically unlocked the door to a very nice and spendy car, I couldn't have felt worse... I felt dirty just looking at it.

"I know, but how would you get home then?" he asked, his voice lighter then I had ever heard it. He opened my door first, and I got inside his nice, shiny, silver Volvo.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as he glided around the front of the car, getting into the drivers seat. I was pretty sure I would not have a panic attack, but I hadn't been in this enclosed of a space with a boy in a long time... and I wasn't sure I liked it.

I couldn't think of what to say, so I just blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

"Are you going to tell me how you stopped the van?" I asked. I held my breath.

He sighed heavily, "Why are you so interested in that?"

"I want to know why I'm still alive," I replied, looking out the window.

"Do you wish you weren't?" he asked cooly, but I could hear the harshness in the underlying tones.

"No, of course not," I said sounding firmer than I intended.

"Then you should just thank me and get over this," he said pleased by my answer.

"I don't know if I can," I said, "I want to know."

I don't know what it was about him that made me generally curious, but I wasn't going to just look over this as an every day occurrence.

"I want to know a few things myself," he countered, "but I'm not sure you'll answer my questions either, which isn't fair is it?"

"Hasn't anyone told you life isn't fair?" I closed my eyes trying to block out the horrific memories that came along with that line, what made me get up and live every day in Phoenix.

"Yes, I believe someone has..." he trailed off in a whisper I could barely hear. I glanced over at him for the first time since we got in the car, and just stared.

He was simply, the most handsome man I had ever seen. His unnaturally bronzed colored hair, his perfect complection, his topaz colored eyes. He also had a look about him, that made me think he had seen more than his years. And as I stared at him, I knew I wanted to take whatever sorrow had been etched in his voice moments ago, and make it disappear.

"How about we play twenty-one questions?" I asked, it had been a long time since I had played this game, and it seemed random of me to bring it up now, but I think he needed random at the moment. Here I go again, conforming to whatever someone needs me to be a the moment.

"Twenty-one questions, huh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in my direction, turning to look at me as I nodded because I couldn't get any words out with his golden eyes smothering me. "Okay, you go first."

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